The Saga of Sir Ranous
The Saga of Sir Ranous, Tale 1
The Saga of Sir Ranous, Tale 1
First of all, this story is not very good. If you want something to read, and don't care about knowing the "prologue," then you're better off reading The Asgarnian Champions, The Meteor Wyrm, or Falling Star, Rising Danger: my other, and better stories. Or you could read something different altogether, like any of Chaoserver's RuneScape Chronicles, The Civil War, The Secret of Magic, or the Rise of Kessirin.
If you want to know what happened before The Asgarnian Champions, though, which is a far better story than this, then this is the story for you today. It was rated 7.5/10 by Chaoserver around ten months ago. Obviously the standards are higher now, but still, you can give this a chance if you wish.
Enjoy!
Prologue
Long ago, in the beginning days of RuneScape, in the early Fifth Age, right after the “Golden Age”, before the gates of Karamja and Taverly, or indeed, Asgarnia had been thrown open, in a small goblin camp somewhere in the Draynor-Lumbridge wilderness, a goblin child was born.
It was a typical goblin colony, with nothing too spectacular to boast of. In those days, the goblins were still feared, as the tides of the world had not yet been unleashed upon humankind and the strongest creatures one could meet were Moss Giants, so the goblins feared no attacks upon their settlement. The child, named Ranous, was born to a low-ranking goblin couple, who were uncharacteristically gentle, if a bit timid, who nevertheless were displeased at having yet another mouth to feed.
“Shall we keep him?” Gorcumb, the father of the baby, asked his wife.
“Of course we shall, Gorcumb”, replied his partner Hoscue, who was especially tender-hearted for goblins. “He’s a perfectly healthy child, indeed the strongest-looking I’ve seen yet, and I intend to do right by him. You’ve no right to throw him out without even waiting the customary three days to see if he’s strong. We have enough food to go around, anyway.”
After much grumbling, Gorcumb agreed to wait three days to see if Ranous still looked strong enough. He never got the chance, however.
On the third night after Ranous’s birth, a blaze of torches was seen in the distance. Closer inspection by the goblins revealed a mass of human adventurers blazing a trail through the forest to raid the goblin village to put an end to the recent Draynor massacres. The goblins cackled, thinking it was a typical expedition of ragged townspeople dressed in rusty bronze, with an occasional iron medium helm borrowed from Varrock merchants. They prepared to assault the farmers, expecting easy booty and meat that night.
However, when the mob got closer, the goblins realized their mistake. This was no typical villager raid. This was an organized array of powerful soldiers, dressed in full steel and black armor and occasionally wielding a mithril mace (the most powerful material available back then). But the real thing that turned them back was the leader of the army. The captain wore a glittering, invulnerable coat of riveted mithril plate, and held a fearsome mithril battleaxe. His name was Zezima.
The goblins prepared to flee. But the fearsome army, led by Zezima, crashed into the near-helpless goblins, who fled in horror. “Zezima!” they cried in alarm. “Zezima has come!”
Hoscue’s hovel was fortunate to be located near the back of the village, so she had plenty of time to notice the threat. Realizing her village was doomed, she grabbed her baby and fled in alarm, taking only her newborn son, Ranous. He gurgled in surprise, but she fiercely pressed her hand over his mouth, fleeing into the woods with her baby in her arms and a small bag of food.
When the humans had finished slaughtering the evil goblins, they headed back to Lumbridge in triumph, taking all the gold they found lying among the corpses of the goblins. Hoscue did not dare to come back to the village for some days, but when she finally did she was so overcome with horror at the sight of her friends and kin’s bodies lying on the ground that she almost fainted. The only good thing about the situation was that there was now plenty of food for her to take, so she would not be hungry for some years, if she spent the leftover food wisely.
Hoscue spent the next few years in the woods, hiding and living on the nonperishable items in the sacked and burned goblin village nearby. She rarely dared to visit the area for long in case the humans came back, so she spent her food wisely. It was only when little Ranous was six years old that she began to run out of biscuits and such stockpiled food in the raided settlement.
Desperate, she turned to spearing rats and spiders for food, for she was not a hunter. But her son, Ranous, surprised her greatly by taking a broken javelin from the village, and, hurling it at a nearby deer, felled it instantly with his strength alone.
Amazed, Hoscue turned to her son and stared at him in wonder. “You will be great one day, Ranous, my child. Do not be like your kin, the wicked goblins. Be like those who protect all innocents from harm, and maybe one day you will not see your friends cut down by a merciless foe who knows no compassion.” Her words were prophetic, though she did not know and never did.
As Ranous continued to grow, he became even stronger, and by the age of twelve could outfight a typical Lumbridge Swamp bear. Every morning he left to bring back some meat from the swamp, and every evening returned with half a bear, stag, or wild boar carcass for his mother and him to share. He always had the utmost interest in fairness and charity, and followed his mother rather than his evil goblin kin in words and deeds. He never, however, saw a single human during his long exile from goblin society.
One day, when he was sixteen and his mother was growing old (goblin women age faster than men, and Ranous had been the child of her age), Ranous’s mother said to him “You are too special and gifted to remain a hunter in the wilderness. I am aging, and you cannot spend the years of your prime feeding my mouth until I cannot see where I am going and my heart falters. Very soon now, you must go out into the human lands and seek honor and renown among the true, honorable race of humankind. You know that the goblin tribes are no place for you; they are evil, and after long years of brooding over the facts I no longer regret the loss of my wicked tribe. You must leave soon for the true civilization.”
Ranous, however, would not hear of leaving his mother to starve or to live on rats while he adventured in the safe lands of humans (he never considered that they might not be safe for him). After long hours of arguing his mother finally agreed to let Ranous hunt extra hard for a year to give her stockpiles of dried meat for the few years she had left to her to live. He then went out and made good his word, searching far and wide for excellent hunting grounds to feed his mother, and worked long hours into the night drying meat for his mother to live on.
At the end of a year his mother summoned him. “I am well advanced in years, my son, but you are still young and fit for the world. It is time for what I suggested to you to do a year ago: venture into the human lands and fight for the humans. However, I believe the humans will not accept you. The only way they possibly could do this is if you were to somehow find a way to join the Guild of Champions, a league of the greatest, most powerful heroes. I have heard tales while still in the company of the gruesome goblins of the powerful heroes who lived there, some of whom destroyed the village you were born in. The great Zezima, leader of the human warriors who fought my kin, is among their ranks. The only way you can be accepted in the Guild, however, is to do an ancient series of trials, laid down by the gods, called Quests. This is the only way the humans could ever truly acknowledge you as one of them. You are strong, my son. You must seek a life with the humans, for that is the only right way to live.”
Ranous agreed with his mother, and reluctantly picked up his bronze sword, donned his pack full of bear meat and shrimp, and ran off into the dense Lumbridge woods in search of the humans.
Part One: Outcast from Both Worlds
Dazed, Ranous stumbled through the forest. He had no clear direction of where he was going, and it was already near the end of the third day from his former home. His food was running short, and while he was sure he could hunt for more easily enough, he didn’t want to stumble upon Lumbridge with blood on his sword.
Suddenly, Ranous saw a clearing up ahead and heard what he assumed to be human voices. He ran up to it, but stopped when he was thrown back by a barrier of force. He saw a large cabin dominated by three old men through the barrier. The men seemed to have an aura of force around them, blocking him from coming near.
As he watched, the three men began arguing and fists were raised. Then each of the men picked up a staff, one white, one green, and one red. All three staffs were raised, and when they clashed against each other red flames came down from the ceiling. Ranous stared in amazement, as the flames seemed to touch none of them. A huge green claw gripped the red and white man, but then a blast of lightning shattered the green man’s left arm, causing him to flee, screaming. More white lightning pressed against the wall of red flames caused by the man in red. The man in white blasted the man in red harder and harder, as the flames began to flicker and start to go out. Suddenly a huge cloud of fire came down, destroying the cabin and seemingly killing both men. By now Ranous was screaming; his mind couldn’t take the sheer force of what he was seeing, but he was determined to see the battle through. Suddenly from the rubble of the destroyed house rose the man in white, who glowed with a hidden power and walked over to where Ranous was hiding, smiling kindly.
“I am impressed and amazed at the force of your mind. Only one other person has ever been able to see a vision of us three gods, and he died a long time ago, but not without regaining an otherworldly shield and leaving behind a name forever engraved in history: Arrav. He was a deep foe of goblins, and so it is perhaps ironic that you are the only other person ever to see us. Perhaps you will be as great as he one day, and to give you the strength to complete your trials I will give you a weapon, far superior to that bronze sword which you now carry: a humongous sword wrought of pure mithril, which you can wield perhaps better than any other in the world now, thanks to your immense strength my brother Zamorak has mistakenly given to you. Know now that I am Saradomin, the God of Goodness and Purity, and my blessings will go with you wherever you go. I ask you now only ever to do what is right, and never harm anything that does not deserve it, but to strike with fury and might against all that is evil.” At this the man in white disappeared, leaving the righteous goblin blinking in a sunlit clearing with nothing to prove the truth of what had just happened, except the enormous dark blue sword he gripped in his hand.
The next day, Ranous continued his journey. After only a few more hours, he arrived at a bustling camp. Immediately, several jail guards bustled up to him.
“Hey, you goblin,” said one of the tough, stupid-looking guards. “Stop right there. You won’t make a good hostage, but maybe we can just beat the stuffing out o’ ya.” The guards closed in on him, and Ranous backed up.
“Sirs, please, I’m a good goblin,” he said. “I haven’t done any harm to you. Please let me go, and I’ll make sure that I won’t harm any of you, or anyone in this village.”
The guards wouldn’t listen, however, and closed in on Ranous. He didn’t want to fight any of them, but they seemed to be looking for one. Desperate, he threw down his sword, grabbed one around the waist and threw him at three other of the most aggressive-looking guards. He then picked up his sword and made a break for it.
The guards didn’t pursue him. One stray goblin was easy prey for them, but a super-strong one armed with an enormous mithril sword was far beyond their preference. They fled, not bothering to pick up their four stunned companions on the ground.
Panting, Ranous arrived at safety. He was horrified at the terrible behavior of the first real humans he had ever seen, which was nothing like the description his mother had always given of them. He was a generous goblin, however, and decided to give humans a second chance.
A few hours later, he arrived in Draynor. It looked like a peaceful town, and he was reassured. He noticed a few people walking around in chipped bronze and iron armor, chatting to each other friendlily. He decided to talk to them, however, he didn’t get very far.
“GOBLIN!” yelled the nearest banker, alarmed. Goblins had been known to rob the banks before, and the easily intimidated bank employees wanted no part in that again. “GOBLIN IN THE VILLAGE! SOMEONE KILL IT! PLEASE!”
The sociable people in the bronze and iron suddenly looked mean. They ran over to Ranous, who pleaded and told them that he was a renegade goblin; a peaceful goblin, and wanted no part of any fight—but the adventurers wouldn’t listen. One took out a bronze scimitar and slashed him across the stomach. His thick goblin hide took most of the blow, of course, but he was still cut deeply, and fled, yelling for help. Finally, a witch named Aggie came out of a cabin in the village and fired a bolt of fire at him. He dodged most of it, but it singed him badly, and he ran back off into the woods cut and burnt.
Reflecting on this, he concluded that it couldn’t be the fault of the people that they had attacked—it must be the goblins’ fault. “My people must be wicked indeed,” he said mournfully, “to receive such rough treatment from the humans. I’ll have to get at least one of them on my side to even enter a human settlement. How on earth am I supposed to serve Saradomin and justice if the humans attack me on sight??”
With this conclusion, he wandered down the long Draynor road, looking for goblins to slaughter. He killed two of his kin on sight with one sweep of his mighty sword, but wasn’t satisfied with the kills. He needed to find food, and fast. He was nearly out, and the region he was coming to was blasted, wasted by long barren years of famine and animals were rare in the region.
After an especially hungry day, Ranous finally arrived at the gate of a manor. “Hello”, said an incredibly stupid-looking woman. Could you find my husband for me? I think he’s gone into that manor, but he must have gotten himself lost—it’s a pretty spooky place.”
Relieved that at last a human was tolerating his presence, Ranous hastily agreed and rushed into the house before she could change her mind. “This must be what a quest is like!” he thought, elated. “I can’t believe it’s this easy!”
It was. The kind goblin soon discovered that the woman’s husband, Ernest, had been turned into a chicken, but it wasn’t hard to sort out. After fiddling with some squeaking levers, fiddling about in a sinister fish pond, and killing an annoying skeleton, Ranous easily turned Ernest back into a man and brought him back to his wife, Veronica. They both generously gave Ranous a large box of gold coins for his trouble. They also shared with him all the food in their (heavy!) packs, and even asked him to accompany them on their trip to Lumbridge. Since he had been looking for that town since he left his mother anyway, Ranous eagerly agreed. Veronica and Ernest didn’t seem to mind that Ranous was a goblin, even though Veronica was rather disgusted by his ugliness.
After a brief journey of half a week or so, Ranous and his two new friends arrived at Seth Groat’s farm, the first of the outlying settled plots of land around Lumbridge. Ranous was eager to enter the farmhouse and see what a human home was like, but Ernest, who had some sense, said, “Wait here. I’m not sure how Seth will react to a goblin in his home.” Reluctantly, Ranous waited outside for Ernest to return.
Seth was no fool. As soon as he saw Ernest and Veronica enter his farms with a goblin in tow, he blocked the door. “Get that cursed goblin off my land,” he said. “I won’t have any filth ruining my crops outside. When you’ve gotten rid of that nasty critter, you can come on in and have free reign of my house. But first, be off with him!”
“But Sir,” said Veronica haltingly, “he saved my husband from a horrible fate as a chicken. I don’t believe he would have done that if he was any old stupid beast.”
“What kind of rubbish are you talking, woman??” asked Seth angrily. “Your husband sure doesn’t look like a chicken. Is your wife mad, Ernest?”
“No, of course not, Seth,” replied Ernest. “And there was a horrible machine in Draynor Manor—you know Professor Oddenstein, don’t you?—and when I went in his house to ask directions, I was trapped in a chicken’s form as soon as I touched the thing. Ranous (that’s the goblin) went through a lot of trouble—which wasn’t just something any goblin could do!—to get me out of it.
“Humph. Well, if he can do a little work out on the fields with the sheep for me, then he can stay, I suppose. Fifty sheared sheep should do it, and I’ll also pay him a bit of cash for the job.”
When he heard this, Ranous quickly agreed to the deal. If he was allowed to stay on the farm, and also earn some money in the meantime, then helping out a human was definitely worth it. After a few days on the farm, Ranous and Seth became fast friends, and, being a man of influence, Seth gave the good-hearted goblin a job recommendation for any tasks that needed to be done around Lumbridge.
However, when Ernest, Veronica, and Ranous arrived in Lumbridge, people absolutely refused to give Ranous any help. While people were forbidden to attack him, by order of the powerful Duke of Lumbridge, the Duke had also forbidden the beleaguered goblin from entering the castle. Ernest, always ready to help, had snuck into the basement of the castle and discovered that the Lumbridge Cook was desperate for ingredients for a cake, and Ranous, in the dead of night, snuck an egg, flour, and bucket of milk into the castle, kitchen (through a window, using a grapple hook ingeniously) technically completing the quest and being one step closer to gaining access to the Guild of Champions.
The Duke frowned on this, but took no decisive action against Ranous. The ambitious goblin then snuck into Lumbridge church to hide inside the tangled organ at the front, behind the altar. On the last night of Sarachaeru, the most holy holiday of the Saradominist religion, the church was packed with Lumbridge residents, as well as residents from Draynor and Al-Kharid. The church was as full as it had ever been in living memory, and even the isles of the huge church were packed with people. As the service was reaching its climactic point, Ranous crawled out from the organ and asked “Can I help anyone here?”
There was a massive stampede as everyone tried to escape from the church. Some of the people from Lumbridge stayed, but mostly people were pushing to get out the doors in a horrible rush, or even out the stained glass windows. (Luckily, no one had brought any weapons to the church service.) Father Aereck turned to Ranous angrily.
“What are you doing in this church?!?” asked the priest furiously. “You’ve completely ruined my service!! Get out now before I seize my staff and slay you!”
“Father, I am a follower of Saradomin, just like you,” said Ranous calmly. I am on a quest to complete ten tasks, and I just wanted to know if you have any tasks for me.
“Well, if you must know,” said Father Aereck irritably, “I need you to get rid of a filthy Zamorackian ghost for me. It’s in the cemetery. Now get OUT!!!”
Ranous agreed to this, and ran out of the church into the dusk.
Part Two: Questing for Peace
When Ranous arrived in the Lumbridge churchyard, panting, it was completely dark. The only light he could see were the torches from Bob’s axe shop (which he had been violently shoved out of when he had tried to enter), and candles lighting the way through the graveyard. Slightly scared, the large goblin walked cautiously down the path to the mausoleum. As he walked in the door, the ghost jumped on his from behind and tried to knock him over. However, Ranous was too strong for him, and shoved him away. He smashed him with the side of his huge sword, and pushed the ghost out the door. The ghost tried to throttle him, but Ranous cut the ghost in half with his sword. It reformed, with a furious look on its face. Desperate, he grabbed a torch from the wall, and shoved it into the center of the ghost. It shrieked and melted. Proudly he walked back to the church, and entered the doorway.
The people had just been collected from outdoors and brought back inside, but only when they had been assured that the goblin was gone for the night and they were safe. Seeing the huge goblin enter again, this time with a huge dark blue sword in hand, was more than they could take. They fled, screaming, in a panic a hundred times worse than before. The seething priest turned to Ranous. “You’ve ruined Sarachaeru once again!!” he breathed furiously. “Get out of my church or I’ll have you banished from the kingdom!”
Backing away, Ranous protested. “But I killed the ghost!” he said desperately. “Doesn’t that count for anything?”
“You did??” asked the priest. At first Ranous thought he had messed up horribly, and that the abbot would attack him on the spot. But then the priest gave a yell of joy, and to the goblin’s greatest surprise he had had in his life, the priest hugged him on the spot. “Saradomin be praised! That creature has killed many an innocent child! At last we can have some protection against that monstrosity. At first I was afraid that you would simply give it back its head, like all the other foolish adventurers, but that simply made it stronger, until Wizard Traiborn could steal its head again to weaken it. Of course it could have been put to rest through that, but it absolutely refused to leave this earth and stop feasting on the human flesh it loved, and every apparent vanishing was a ruse. Thank you, O Most Wise Goblin!”
Stunned, Ranous backed away, but not before giving a warm smile in return. The Duke of Lumbridge heard about his exploit, and finally officially allowed him to enter the castle. However, Ranous decided not to stay in Lumbridge, to everyone’s surprise. “I have no place in this area; I have done all I can. I must go to Al Kharid, and apologize for the terrible shock I gave to its citizens when I stormed the church” No one was pleased to see him go—except maybe Bob—but most understood his need.
When he arrived in Al Kharid, there was a huge panic. Villagers began to run in all directions, screaming for the Palace Guards to come help them. Ranous charged right through the mob, right to their Sultan, Hassan. Hassan yelled for the Palace Guards to save him, and they came charging, but stopped when they saw that Ranous had Hassan in his grip, who was not a fighter, and was holding his enormous mithril sword tightly in his hand.
“I only want to talk,” said Ranous calmly, when the noise had died down. “I only came to apologize for scaring your people, and to ask if you had any jobs I could do in return for your pardon. I know that my disruption has been severe, and I only wish to earn my keep in help.”
As the large goblin seemed earnest, Hassan calmed down, though the palace guards remained vigilant, and waited for an opening to attack. They did not find one. “My son has been kidnapped from the very walls of this palace. I beg you to find him. The wicked guards of Lady Keli, east of Draynor Village have him in their keeping, and they will never release him, even if I do pay the massive ransom. Please rescue him, and I will give you half of the huge ransom demanded by them.”
Ranous eagerly agreed, and so the matter was settled. He was extremely relieved when he heard that the nasty guards he had met were in fact wicked, and so their behavior was not at all an example of human behavior.
Ranous crossed the River Lum, and took with him Ernest, Veronica, and Seth, his best friends to back him up. An extremely disagreeable woman named Leela met him there, claiming she sent by Hassan from Al Kharid to spy on Lady Keli, and told him to bring her many near-useless items for the “disguise”, like a new skirt, berries, and some flour, even though it was obvious that she only wanted them for herself.
Ranous ignored this strange woman, and snuck into the camp. He and his companions were all agile and quick, except for Seth, so they made good progress. When they reached the jail window, Seth, who was a strong, well-built man, lifted Ranous up into the jail room. Instantly all the half-drunk jail guards picked up their swords and hurled javelins at him. The powerful goblin dodged, and charged the nearest two with his sword held straight out in front of him. He skewered them both, and his sword went all the way through to impale a third. The rest fled.
Seth, meanwhile, had lifted Ernest and Veronica through a small window across the room, nearer to Prince Ali’s cell. They snuck through the rooms, and the plan seemed to have succeeded. Ranous had killed most of the guards and the rest had fled. (Little did they know that the escaped guards had alerted Lady Keli. Ranous sliced through the bars of the cell, and grabbed Prince Ali, who whined and asked for a piggyback. He was only five years old.
Hoisting Prince Ali up onto his shoulders, Ranous fled through the jail. He and his companions were nearly out when he ran into Lady Keli. He backed away, not wanting to pick a fight with her if he didn’t have to, but then suddenly she wasn’t there. When he turned around to look wildly around for her, he spotted Keli, pulling a bloodied dagger out of Seth’s back.
With a roar of seething fury and pain, Ranous charged her and hewed off her head. He could have sworn that she was still smirking at him when her head flew off. He then turned to Seth. To his elation he discovered that Seth was still alive, and he staunched the wounds as best he could, hoisted Prince Ali once more, handed Seth’s body to Ernest and Veronica, who were horrified at the bloody scene, and charged off into the forest.
The guards were still mostly drunk and were not very alert, but a gang of the rowdiest met up with the four adventurers a few yards out of the forest. Ranous slaughtered the nearest four, and the rest cowardly fled.
After a few days in the forest, the adventurers, tired, scratched and beaten, arrived safely in Lumbridge. Seth was barely alive at this point, and Veronica rushed to Father Aereck in extreme haste.
“We need your most powerful healing spells”, said Veronica, panting. We’ve rescued Prince Ali, but Seth Groats the farmer is close to death!! Please help!” She then collapsed, both from lack of sleep and her own wounds.
Father Aereck quickly cast a minor healing spell on her, laid her in a pew, and rushed off to the edge of the forest, where he met Ranous struggling towards Lumbridge Castle with Seth’s muscular body in his arms. Ernest had fallen asleep waiting for the priest; it was obvious that he was exhausted.
“I will do anything that I can to save Seth, but I fear the worst. I’ve brought some expensive apple pie imported from Varrock and wine, which should bring a technical cure. But I’m not sure Seth’s health will remain intact for long; he has been mortally wounded and would die in a few hours if I had not reached him.” With that Father Aereck seized the barely warm body of Seth and cast some strange words on him. Within a few minutes Seth sat up, but was so battered from his ordeal that he immediately collapsed again and fell asleep.
“Well, the worst is over, Ranous my friend,” said Father Aereck, smiling. “I will send young Prince Ali on over to Al Kharid with news of your exploit and a messenger will probably arrive tomorrow to give you the half ransom Hassan promised you. Meanwhile you can stay in Lumbridge as long as you like, but I suggest going to the Wizard’s Tower to learn the ways of Magick. You are turning out to be quite the Champion, but any hero’s power can be augmented by magic, and I expect you to be the same. A bolt of fire would be a nice augmentation to your growing power.”
Ranous agreed, and he stayed seven days in Lumbridge resting up. After that he left for the Wizard’s Tower to study in the ways of Magick, but had hardly walked in the door when a bunch of wicked imps teleported next to him, chanting “Beads, beads, beads, beads, BEADS! Beads, beads, beads, beads, BEADS!” Knowing that Imps were wicked demon-creatures, the heroic goblin warrior sliced them all in two, and they dissolved into ashes. He found four ugly beads on the floor, picked them up, and stared at them. They seemed to have interesting engravings on them, so he kept them, at least for now.
When the wizards arrived, hearing the sounds of battle, they were angry to see a goblin in their beloved tower. But a wizard named Traiborn, a very strange individual indeed, ran up to the ugly goblin and hugged him. “Those are my BEADS!” he exclaimed. “I’ve been looking all over for them. Where on earth did you find them??”
“Um…I just killed a few imps. Why?”
The Wizard Grayzag growled at him, annoyed at the mention of impish violence. But the rest of the wizards welcomed him with open arms, if a bit sheepishly, and taught him in the ways of magic for weeks on end. By the time he left, he had the knowledge to cast many strong and useful spells, such as enfeebling his opponent, striking with a burst of fire, or sending a powerful bolt of water out at his enemy. Ranous then set off to Varrock to seek more adventure.
At the bustling city of Varrock, capital of Misthalin, he received much prejudice against his race, but he simply shrugged it off. He sought for the legendary Shield of Arrav, slew a small demon-creature with a small enchanted sword, and engaged in a silly affair with a strange, stupid man named Juliet and an even stupider woman named Romeo. He bought himself a full set of the strong, fortified mithril armor, equipped himself with a magical amulet that increased the power flowing through his hands even more, and donned a marvelous cape that showed everyone that he was a true Misthalin Champion-to-Be. After a while, his race as a goblin seemed to make no difference to any of the humans in Varrock, as they knew his noble character, and after all it was hard to tell his race while encased in a full set of dark blue armor.
One day Ranous realized that he missed his mother dearly, so he set out for the woods of Draynor. After many weeks of traveling through the land, he finally discovered the place where he had once lived with his mother. However, when he arrived at the village, he found his mother not there and a yellowed note addressed to him, saying that if he ever returned to look for her, her food had “run out. If you wish to find me, I have moved to a region south of the human settlement Draynor Village. I am afraid that I will never see you again, but you have done what is right and I have no regrets.”
After reading this, Ranous cried, but stoically continued on through the woods until he could locate the camp his mother was now using. After a few days of hard searching, he finally found it. However, his mother was not home when he arrived. After waiting for a few hours, he grew very uneasy, and sensed something unpleasant was happening. He trod out into the woods, looking for any clues of his mother’s passing, and found a trail. Soon he came to a clearing, eerily silent. He looked around, and there was his mother, sprawled out over a tree root, groaning softly. She was very old, and could not get up.
“Oh, thank you, my son!” she cried, upon sighting him. “I was afraid I would never see you again. You’re so tall and strong, and I never would have dreamed of seeing you so attired. But my time is at an end, and I fear that I will not live even a day longer. Please help me up, and let me spend what time is left to me with you.”
Ranous helped her up, but she stumbled and fell down again. This time she was able to stand up by herself, and soon she was walking easily enough. The sight of her son seemed to have put new life into her.
Soon she passed her son, and she raced back to her camp, full of joy, to put the (makeshift) kettle on for him. But as she stopped for breath in the woods, a dark shadow slipped out of the woods behind her, and slit a sword between her ribs.
Part Three: The Heart of a Champion
As Ranous hurried to catch up with his mother, a black shadow descended over his heart, and a premonition filled his mind. As he turned the last bend in the trail, he saw the Black Knight standing over his mother’s dead body, and a seething rage filled his heart. Ranous seized his gigantic mithril sword in both hands and swung it at the black knight, whose armor repelled it. The black knight grinned evilly and drew his black longsword, swinging it at Ranous’s stomach. His armor repelled it as well, and the black knight growled and swung his sword wildly as Ranous’s head.
Ranous furiously swung his great sword at the black knight again and again with all his considerable might. The boy who could fell a deer at the age of six was now a full-grown goblin, with a mighty strength of legend and a massive, deadly sword. The mere impact of the blows knocked the black knight backwards again and again, causing his breath to wheeze and his lungs to crack.
But the black knight was no novice to battle. He swung his powerful, wicked-looking sword at Ranous’s exposed calves, nearly hamstringing him. Ranous growled, and pressed the attack, finally knocking the black knight’s sword out of his hand. He mercilessly smashed the unfortunate knight against a tree, threw down his sword, pulled off the knight’s helmet and throttled him. The black knight’s head turned red, then purple, then finally pale as his neck snapped and the blood flowed out of his severed veins. Ranous sat down next to his dead mother and sobbed.
He buried his mother in the woods she so loved, went to Draynor, and was pleasantly surprised to meet his old friends Ernest and Veronica there. They, however, were not happy.
Recently, a powerful vampire, Count Draynor, had been killing off all the villagers of Draynor Village. He slept during the day in the basement of the huge mansion to the north, and at night flew as a bat to the village, turned back into himself, and devoured an unlucky citizen of the beleaguered town. At this rate, the vampire would kill off the entire settlement in months, so the villagers would have to evacuate soon, or else.
Bravely, Ranous decided to face the vampire. Ernest and Veronica offered to accompany him, though they were not sure what they could do against the likes of Count Draynor. The three set off for the manor, with cries of “Gods speed” and “Fare well” from all the townspeople, who gathered there to watch them go. The journey took three days, but it would be well worth it when they arrived. Veronica was armed with garlic, Ernest with a long wooden stake, and Ranous with his trusty hefty mithril sword.
As they entered the mansion, the door slammed shut on Ranous, Ernest and Veronica. They tiptoed through the mansion, not wanting to see an angry vampire jump out at them. It was still daytime, but almost night, and they had to hurry to make sure they killed the vampire before he woke up and flew to Draynor for his nightly killing.
Finally, Ranous found the basement. Gulping, he walked down the stairs silently, followed by his two comrades. They saw the coffin lying at the end of the hallway, and charged it. However, before they could open the lid, the sun set. Count Draynor pushed open his coffin’s lid to find two “armed” humans and a burly goblin in shining mithril armor standing over his coffin. With a roar, he leapt out of his bed with surprising agility, and Veronica screamed and dropped the garlic. Growling with pleasure, Count Draynor sank his teeth into her neck, draining all her blood instantly. The shell of Veronica fell to the floor with a thud, and Ernest, wild with rage after the killing of his wife, charged with his stake, ready to pierce Count Draynor’s corrupted heart.
But Count Draynor dodged Ernest’s clumsy attack with ease. Cackling, he advanced on Ernest, with his claws outstretched and his fangs showing. Ernest, bewitched by the power of Count Draynor’s glittering eyes, relaxed his grip on the stake, which fell to the floor with a crash. The vampire leapt for his neck, eyes glimmering with glee.
But Ranous finally came to his senses. He swung his sword hard at Count Draynor, severing his neck. However, the vampire simply grabbed his head and placed it back on his shoulders! Hissing in amusement at the exciting games he was having tonight, the count swung his foul claws out at Ranous, which cut right through his armor to strike at his now-exposed belly.
Desperately Ranous stuffed the garlic into Count Draynor’s mouth, and then punched the sword through his stomach. Severely wounded, the evil vampire howled in rage and struck again, and again at Ranous’s shattered plate armor and his stomach. Choking, Ranous fell down to the floor, gagging and crying for his mother. The vampire then advanced on Ernest, who, now weaponless, screamed and screamed for Ranous to help him.
With one last effort, Ranous seized the stake from the floor and drove it right through Count Draynor’s unholy chest. Bellowing in rage, for the last time the wicked vampire cried out and bit at Ranous’s exposed organs. Many of his guts spilled out on the floor, and he died with the satisfaction of knowing he had saved Draynor Village and his dear friend Ernest—twice.
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Surprised, Ranous found himself standing in Lumbridge Square. A large amount of townspeople clapped loudly at the strange spectacle. He felt perfectly healthy. It didn’t seem right.
Ranous looked at his hands, and realized that they were human!! He couldn’t believe what had happened. Not only was he not dead, but he had turned into a human being! Many townsfolk came up and gave him congratulations. He blinked, but still couldn’t understand what was going on.
Finally, the Duke of Lumbridge himself came out and gave Ranous a medal. “We all wondered if this would happen,” he said to the new human. “Since a Saradominist goblin came out and started taking the human trials (quests, as you know them), we all knew that you could end up as one of us human Champions.
“Anyone who becomes worthy of the rank of Champion receives the gift of life whenever he or she dies. They will reappear in the heart of the human world—this town, in fact,” he said a little sheepishly. “Since you completed all the trials appointed for you—and that must mean that you saved Draynor!!—you have the gift of appearing here upon an unnatural, premature death. And since this gift technically couldn’t be granted to a non-human on a long-term basis, it seems our Lord Saradomin decided to reward you by turning you into a fair human. At least Zamorak’s happy that this indignity to him has been ended. Hah!”
That night, the Lumbridge citizens had a huge party. Many champions came, and even the great Zezima surprised everyone by gracing Lumbridge with his presence. He clapped Sir Ranous on the back, saying, “Congrats on becoming a human Champion, mate!”
Ranous choked on his Asgarnian Ale, and excused himself.
Comments and criticism are welcome. I won't be changing this, unless I rewrite this completely, but still, I'd like to hear your thoughts.
And yes, I know using Zezima was a mistake.
But if I could handle the Old Nite, I can handle Zezima.
What time zone do you live in? 
What are you talking about. (This kind of reminds me of when you wouldn't believe me that Taleka was still there; I bet I'm wrong again. 
Guess I went a little far there...
Although you did raise the amount of posts on my thread, it was illegitimate. Avoid that in future. 
