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boomx021
1. Why I would like to join: For a long time, I have been a story writer and occasionally, I wrote poems, always I have gone under an alias which has suited me well, now I believe that it is time for my works to be known.

2. Desired section: Stories&Poems

3. My experience: I usually contributed to my school newspaper with essays, stories and poems under anonymous titles.

4. My example:

Spoiler: Click to Toggle the Spoiler.

Rise of the Juggernauts - Runescape Stories.

QUOTE
I woke up from my slumber, as the tranquil night sky gazed at me like never before. A small pond ahead of me gallops with frogs and fireflies as the cold blue moon shines rays upon it. Beyond the pond are burrows making a dent on the earth. Rabbits and other small creatures gallop as the serene moon shines softly on their tails. It was tranquillity like I never experienced. I strayed off from my thoughts for a moment, asking myself if this was too good for my luck to be a dream. As I strayed back into what I thought to be reality, a fox had come up to me, as though unafraid that I may hunt him like the Britons of old. He stood sniffing me for a few seconds, the only sane thing the fox has done while beside me. After believing that I was safe to stay by, he sat down, looking over the pond and to the burrows of the rabbits, untroubled and unaware of a fox which may strike them. Unbeknownst to me, as I continued to watch the rabbits dancing along their burrows, the fox fell asleep, it's head leaned on my leg as my back leaned along a large pine tree.

I kept thinking that I was right, I kept thinking that this really did have to be a dream. My life was never and will never be like this, all of this has to be nothing more than a dream showing me a fracture of what paradise is really like. Paradise which I shall never see in this life as a living soul, paradise which has been known, yet, unknown as which shall answer all questions of doubtless faith. This was paradise, but a dream of the paradise, a dream of a world I shall never see.



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Rizzo
The example is short, but the writing is vivid. You described the scene well. Try writing a bit more. ice.gif
boomx021
My speciality is in short stories, lengthening it with the depiction of the scene vividly, creating a vision altogether within the mind of the reader. From the first paragraph - or the first sentences - you will easily be able to depict that the character is in a forest, though how he got there is unknown, it is said in the last paragraph that he was dreaming, though he is still in confusion whether he really is dreaming, or the reality is in front of his eyes that he merely doubts the reality. From that you can depict that the character has a hard life and that for what he sees to be a reality, only death or a heavy dream could have come unto him for it to be true. If you wish for me to write more, give me a setting and I shall do the rest.
SlashingUK
QUOTE (boomx021 @ Apr 27 2008 at 09:34 AM) *
My speciality is in short stories, lengthening it with the depiction of the scene vividly, creating a vision altogether within the mind of the reader. From the first paragraph - or the first sentences - you will easily be able to depict that the character is in a forest, though how he got there is unknown, it is said in the last paragraph that he was dreaming, though he is still in confusion whether he really is dreaming, or the reality is in front of his eyes that he merely doubts the reality. From that you can depict that the character has a hard life and that for what he sees to be a reality, only death or a heavy dream could have come unto him for it to be true. If you wish for me to write more, give me a setting and I shall do the rest.

Accepted

While this isn't a short story - it's a scene description or vignette - you have linguistic skills sufficient to be easy work for your editor, i.e. me. We do lack one-offs (be they vignettes or short stories) in the section, so I'm sure you'll fit in nicely.

You have developed a literary style, but have run ahead of yourself a little, going for "too much" style; see use of "gallop" and "gallops" in first paragraph and the switch in tense between the first and second sentences. Debating the merits of story structure and literary style are a much more pleasant editorial process than correcting flawed spelling, punctuation etc. I look forward to your first offering.

I'd suggest something around 500-1000 words with a progressive plot that takes a central character through a key personal development.
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