Im starting to figure out im kind of gay..... how would you tell your friends, im to afraid they will be mean and never talk to me again. how would you do it?

If you're really worried about what they'll think, you don't need to flat out tell them. Besides, if they make fun of you they aren't true friends, right?

If they'd hate you over an unimportant thing like sexuality, then they're really not that great of friends.

If you can't go outright and say "Hey guys, I may be gay", then you're either not ready to do it emotionally, or your friends aren't absolutely great. Although a lot of people may be shocked at first, they may come around to understanding.

yeah but still soon after awhile they wont. These other gay guys at my school, they get killed if the teachers not around. My friends r the onese who do the beatings to them

yo jus go 2 ur friend nd tell him dat ur gay in vry hi emotion liek maner and captur his emote if it bad go l0l jk

Eh... You don't have to tell anyone. Yet, at least. You're not dating or anything, so, eh.

Straightforwardness would be best though.

Funny, but not helpful.

guys seriosuly they need to know since... well im getting my left ear pearced soon and lots of these older guys say its better to tell them instead of them finding out...

Well, if you feel close enough to them that it is something you want to share, then do it. I could give you the whole "If they are really your friends then it won't matter, they'll still be your friend anyway . . ." but you know all that, I'm sure.

I would say wait until you are alone together, or atleast where someone can't overhear you (Whatever you feel comfortable with. Obviously if you are afraid they would physically retaliate then I wouldn't be somewhere you can't get away-but then, these shouldn't be those kind of friends) and just say "Hey, I got something I want to talk to you about and it's kind of serious so could you listen to me?" or something to that effect.

It may not be easy. You both might end up embarassed but, It could turn out just fine. You talk about it, mull it over then move on. It could work out worse but, IF (notice the if, it must be when you are ready) you really want to do it are you going to feel good with yourself if you don't?

If you are afraid of making a hash of it, start with the friend you think might take it the best.

I've had some times in my life when I wished someone I loved and trusted and KNEW would never betray me could have been there, supporting me, when I had to say things to someone else that were hard to say. For those things I had to say, I didn't always like what happened in the end, but looking back over my life so far now (at 30+) I am not sorry I said them.


Those are my thoughts for whatever it's worth. I hope I've helped? Anyway (how do I get my sincerity across in a post) I hope it goes well for you. In the End, no matter what happens, be comfortable with the choice you made. It's your life!

-Rayn.

Edit:
Are these truly friends?? I am sorry for that situation if that is the case. My words came out of what I thought I'd feel like if I had to tell a friend some truly serious news; such as yours. I am at a lose to know what else to say . . .

ok ill tell them

Very sad if your friends can't accept your orientation. You don't have to tell them and i'm sure it'll be quite a whole until they find out as long you don't show it. Probably best to tho.

Just be prepared for all the different outcomes. You may have to be very strong through this, stand up for yourself.

Weightlifting never hurt anybody, too.

I ended my last post being at a lose as what to say. I think Lilshu has added nicely to my post. Our part is not to tell you to do or not to do, just wanted to help you through the though process of the if and how.

To quote Lilshu: Be prepared, stay strong, stand up for yourself.

-Rayn.

Edit: Just, be sure, eh? I'm a bit worried about those guys you call friends.

Suck it up and tell 'em, sonny. If they don't like your sexuality, that is their problem. Not yours.

Tell them when you're ready. It's your own choice when you come out, but remember, it's about when YOU are ready, not THEM. I don't know why I'm talking as if I have experience in this.

Except the other person in the fight.

EDIT: Go with the straightforwardness, just like everyone else said. Worst case scenario is that you lose a few friends that really weren't that great to begin with.

Way to read the above posts...

Forgive me lord for I have sinned. Surely I am not allowed to give my input still. Thank you for showing me the error of my ways.

[/s]I have a girlfriend and most of my friends still don't know... If you're not ready to tell anyone, that's fine, but you should find a few people you know you can trust so that when you tell everyone else, the people you really trust wont be offended you kept it a secret.[s]

Just read the last few posts.


Just tell people slowly, that way it will lessen any possible shock.

No doubt they could be shocked, and you must understand that. If your friends are any good they will accept you for what you are .

Just ask them "What do youu think about gay people?" If its a bad response don't tell them, act like u usually did before, but if theyre jst like "Oh yea theres nothing wrong with gay ppl" then find the right time, and tell them!

Two things

One: Tell your friends before they find out/suspect
Two: if you think friends is gonna be hard think about parents I've heard stories you won't wanna here

Your a twat



What if you broke your back weightlifting.


My Cousin "came out of the closet". His friends accepted him. BUT, he did become the butt of alot of jokes. If you take alot of things seriously i think you should wait a bit

If they'll be mean and never speak to you again, that's not a loss.
Just take them one by one, and tell them.

The simple fact is they are always going to treat you differently and it will be niave of you to think that being gay around your friends won't change anything.

You have a simple choice, be who you are and come out or not or dont give a damn what anyone says and do what you wish.

At the end of the day the second choice is preferable, I once did the second, lost all my so called friends not once but twice but now I am getting more friends slowly but surely.

The world changes and so do people, you cannot expect everything to stay the same and everything to work out as you plan because that isn't the point, call it a baptism of fire if you will.

It will hurt no matter what you do but you will get through it one way or the other

If your worried about being beat up, learn some self defence techniques. That makes you brave in other situations too.

How so? It's indirect, but you can capture what he thinks.

Wait, Spar is gay?

Oh, and teh surfer guy is lulz.

Stick your hand down one of your friends' pants and when they ask you what the fudge you're doing, say it. They'll be way too uncomfortable to take any action.

Looking at your sig, I would go further.

Shouldn't make a difference at all. Just don't tell them. Some people are biased.

Looking at your sig Definition, I think you need to tell Superman your true feelings.
As for the main topic. Suck it up, plant some seeds, puts some miracle grow on there, and grow a pair. Just straight out tell them. If they are jackasses about it, then you know they weren't really your friends.

I'm his kryptonite(sp), if you know what I mean

;D

oh I know what you mean. ;D

[09:35:07] <definition> i originally wrote thta i liked to finger myself
[09:35:11] <definition> then i edited that out

Wrong topic, Gillis.

Shut up it's still relevant.

your friends wont leave you if they are truly friends, but there are some friends who aren't your friends at all. Like unknown said, if they are any good they will accept you as what you are.

Having gone through this experience myself, I can say that it's not the easiest decision to make. Luckily, most of my friends were supportive and the ones who weren't, you realise don't matter. What also suprised me was that it wasn't always the people you expect that support you.

It's a completely personal decision though, and you have to weigh up the positives of coming out to the negatives. I didn't really get the choice seeing as someone outed me but it wasn't the end of the world.

well it doesnt matter if your gay or not just tell em if it matters to them then there not real friends

Well, I went through the same experience myself and simply dropped a few hints and when someone asked me whether or not I was gay, I simply say "Yup, and no, don't flatter yourself so much".

Then you just need to remove all doubt that you may be joking (Because most of the time, people think you are). I myself ended up making out with a guy in the maths corridor. God the look on their faces.

The fact of the matter is, that once it comes out they're gonna want to have some friendly joking around with it (Trust me, most of the time that's what it is). The trick is to mess around with them as much as they do to you.

Been there done that, in my case I hang around with mostly girls though, and they'd figured it out long before I told them
Just be honest, I found 100% of my friends were okay / cool with it.

And not to scare you but - the rest of the world I'm not close to is just hurtful.
So i'd keep it amongst an intimate group.

How old are you btw?

According to his profile, he's 13.

Pssh, at 13 you can hardly decide. At 13 it's called curiosity, not homosexuality.

That's not true. Puberty is almost always the period of time an adolescent chooses a sexual preference. Ones that come out later probably had mental disputes.

I contest your use of the word "chooses".

But that's usually mid-late puberty. I can't say for sure, but I'd say he isn't that far in yet.

He hasn't answered his post in a while, hope he hasn't got beaten up...

And if they do try and beat you up,

A.
Kick 'em in lower section of body, usually under the stomach. If possible aim in the middle, right between the legs.

B.
Let them beat you up, and then get your revenge later. Maybe like tell the teacher or something. (I don't think this ones going to work)

how can you say that sexuality is int an unimportant thing? but yea if your friends cant take it that you may be gay then they are not real friends