Its my first shot at writting so i would welcome any feedback so get reading and posting!

It was raining as I stared at the monsters armies, standing not 2km from where we were assembled. Neither army made a noise bar the clinking of armor or the occasional snarl from the opposing side .We stood there for what felt like a decade not moving, until a single arrow suddenly burst from the monsters ranks, it hissed through the air before plunging into the chest of a man 5 paces from me, he made a gargling sound then collapsed lifeless to the ground. There was a note attached to the arrow, a general picked it up, his eyes scanned the parchment for a few moments, his face distorted with anger he crumpled up the paper in his hand before tossing it toward the ground and pressing it into the mud with his foot, he spun around and with a flick of his cape charged back into our ranks heading in a beeline for our leaders tent.

We stood on the hill for what felt like hours I was terrified of what was to come, and I wasn't the only one, every face I looked at was pale and had a look of terror upon it, some men threw up and most were shaking to the point were you could hear their chain mail clink, the sergeant of our division stepped out from our ranks and turned to face us, his face was hard and unreadable, he looked at all our faces and I new he had just received the order to led our division to the battle.

The sergeant stood there for about five minutes before he took a deep breath and said "from this day forth you shall not be boys, but men, nay you will be soldiers. You will be remembered as solders, solders that fought for freedom and solders that died for freedom. You may not be trained or experienced in warfare but quite frankly there are no others whom I would rather fight and die next to" he paused for a moment then continued "some of you are poets, some are potters, some of you are rich, some are poor, none of that matters, rank does not matter for we all chose to fight for the same cause, so I ask you not as your commander but as your comrade to defend you land and CHARGE"

Enthralled by our commanders words the 33rd division of the varrok's home solders charged down the hillside, the beasts from the opposing side charged too, I anticipated the meeting of the two forces, colliding in almighty clash of steel and wood but before I could participate in this event the ground erupted in fire and rock just to the left of were I was running causing 5 solders to horrifically obliterate without uttering a single cry, the explosion tossed me through the air and I smashed onto the ground. My vision blurred and there was a ringing in my ears, the armies collided at the bottom of the valley, I could faintly hear the screams and cries of monsters and men being slaughtered but I felt a million miles away.

I lay there in the ground passing in and out of conciseness due to the extreme pain coming from my charred leg and the shock from the explosion, eventually I was able to claw my way until I was on my knees, my vision returned to normal and the ringing stopped, I looked up noting that the battle was still going on and the monsters had gained ground, I turned my neck and my eyes locked with that of a blood covered goblins, the goblin stood about 12 feet away and had just ripped its spear from the now lifeless body of one of my comrades, he took a step closer to me and his mutilated face twisted into what I presumed to be a smile he came closer and I froze.

This is a pretty nice story, although a bit vague. There's no real reason for this Final Battle (which, until better reasoning, is just a cliche title) or even what makes up the opposing army, until the last paragraph, which makes the whole scene hard to picture.

Grammatically, you have quite a few errors. The largest of which is run-on sentences. The last 'paragraph' is only one sentence! Run-ons are everywhere, really.


That one sentence could easily be split up into three. I'd also suggest writing out numbers, and even abbreviations like km.

That's really the worst problem. There are multiple run-ons in each paragraph, but if you were to fix those up, there isn't much else to change. I would however get rid of the part where you had (pause) in the middle of dialouge. It makes it seem like a script, rather than a story. A period works fine, or you could even do:
I hope you weren't put off from your lack of comments, this forum moves pretty slow, and a lot of topics get missed out on completely. Please continue this!

thanks for the advice i will put it into good use

Really good story, makes you feel as if you're in it.
Can't wait for part 2

The goblin moved closer again cautiously stepping over a body keeping his eyes on me and never ceasing to smile he lifted his spear. I couldn’t move I was paralyzed with fear and still shaky from the explosion, I just knelt there steering into that hideous face, the goblin drew back his spear preparing to push the final thrust that would end my life, I winced and turned my head but the spear never touched my breastplate. My head turned back to the goblin, it had an arrow producing from its chest, the goblin dropped its spear and clutched the weapon buried between its ribs and dropped to the ground.

I stayed as I was for at least a minute before I moved, slowly to my feet. I looked around for my weapon and shield but couldn’t find them so I took a sword from a dead mans clasp and a shield lying near him. I wasn’t dead yet and my people needed me so I lifted my shield up and limped into the battle.

My eyes fell upon a red robed figure holding a staff and an open book he was chanting some unknown words and wherever he held out his arm towards some soldiers would perish as fire erupted beneath them. I decided now was my time to help my side in the struggle for Misthalin. I ran toward the mage, when I was only a few meters away I noticed a menacing movement out of the corner of my eye and turned to face a black knight with its sword raised high, I quickly raised my shield and the evil knights sword clanged heavily on it I almost collapsed under the force, I saw an opening in the black nights armor and thrust my sword into the knights leg, he dropped to one knee I withdrew my sword and swung it into the neck of my opponent. Wasting no time I closed the gap between me and the evil sorcerer and pushed my sword into his back, the mage stiffened suddenly then fell forward.

I continued fighting for what felt like hours until I received a nasty smack on the head by a club wielded my an ogre and was left unconscious, luckily the defenders of Misthalin managed to gain some ground and the wounded were taken to the druids to be treated. I awoke in a tent to the sounds of the battle still raging on, my head was heavy but apart from that I was fine so I stood up and pushed aside the tent flap and looked to the sky. It was dusk and soon the rays from the sun would disappear, then the most horrible monsters could awake from their nocturnal sleep and join the fight.

great story part 3 i hope will be the ultimate

I turned back into my tent and got a druid to help me put on my armor, which was still covered in dirt and blood, the helmet had a huge dent in it and so was not wearable, I asked the druid were to find a replacement and he told me to find the armory, a large tent with a shield and sword on the walls. As I walked out of my tent I realized there was a steady stream of battle worn soldiers returning from the fight, they like me had participated in the first charge and so the were relieved by fresh soldiers to get some much needed rest. The lines of soldiers consisted of dwarves, men, wizards, elves, gnomes and some races I didn't recognize, I tried to spot anyone from the 33rd division of the varrok’s home solders but couldn’t find any. I walked into the camp in search of the tent with the sword and shield.
I walked through the camp for half an hour before I found the armory, I explained what happened to my helmet to the guard and he gave me a replacement, satisfied with the fit I decided to find some food for I was starving, having not eaten all day. Night fell and hundreds of campfires were lit, creatures of all races surrounded the fires talking quietly as they ate. I found a campfire with some sort of animal roasting over a spit and asked if I could have some, a man smiled at me and ripped off a piece, gave it to me and beckoned me to sit. I looked around the campfire I was sitting in, there was a dwarf a gnome and two men, they were all laughing and joking, for the first time since I left my home I felt happy. We had been sitting a the campfire for a couple of hours when a captain stopped at our campfire and told us that we had better get some rest because we were rejoining the battle at first light, slowly we all got up and moved to various tents. I wasn’t very tired so I decided to go for a walk.

After walking around for I bit I sat down on a hill over looking the battle, It had changed since I had last been there, flying creatures were swooping down into the battle and there were some monsters on the enemies side that I had never seen before. Someone walked over and stood next to me, I looked up and saw it was a beautiful archer she sat down beside me and we talked, she said her name was Elizabeth and she came from Lumbrige, we continued talking well into the night until a sergeant told us to get some sleep. We said our farewells and parted. I collapsed on my bed and lay awake thinking of the things that happened today and the things I would have to do tomorrow.

epic story ,plz write more