Redskins919 is back! I have left for a while because of personal reasons. I'm back and ready to write!



Chapter 1: Days of Nights

The world of Runescape had seen a long time of peace after the God Wars. Kingdoms were rebuilding, new fields of technology were being discovered, and the remnants of Zamarok have been pushed right off of the map. New towns were being formed and even new trade routes with the rest of the world were being opened.

In one village, there was a young man named Oscar. No one knew why he didn't have a last name. They only knew that he escaped from the horrible lands called Myortania. Oscar fleed to this small village to live his life and become a normal human. As time passed, Oscar began to realize that he had a duty to this small town. Every weekend, Oscar's town would be raided by bandits.

Oscar decided that it was time to stand up and fight. Oscar formed a small band of the village men and began to train them on how to use a sword. Oscar was one of the best swordsman in Myortania. Oscar trained the small group of villagers for an entire week. When that weekend came, Oscar knew that some would die, but they needed to defend themselves.

"Oscar. Ummm. Some of the men are nervous. They don't think they will survive the night," Lucas said to Oscar.
"It's ok Lucas. All we need to do is pull the bandits into the village and then slaughter them in the wide open square. You take two archers and get on top of that house," Oscar said as he pointed to a tall house.
"OSCAR! Did you hear me?! Some of the men are scared. They don't want to fight," Lucas shouted.
"Did you just yell at me," Oscar had an angry look on his face.
"Of course not sir," Lucas grabbed two archers and began to walk towards the house.

As the night grew closer, Oscar got a great idea. Oscar got all the villagers together and gave one of his speeches.

"Ladies and gentlemen! Tonight we will fight! Tonight we will kill! Tonight we will die! But I have an offering to those of you who survive. If you make it through the night, the bandits will never come back! We will kill all of them! It's been too long since I last saw a peaceful village. Actually, I have never seen a peaceful village. But remember this! Survive and become free! Survive and be fed! Survive and you will live to see the end of your life! LONG LIVE RIMMINGTON!"

All the villagers were pumped. They now know that they have a leader. They know that they may survive to see the end of tyrany.

As the sun went below the horizon, the woods grew loud. Oscar signaled the archers to prepare to set the woods on fire. The bandits walked out of the woods with only swords and shields. They were not ready for a fight. Oscar waited for the bandits to walk into the first house before he lit the woods on fire.

"LOOSE," Oscar yelled.

The three archers released the fire arrows they had. Within a minute of the first arrow hitting the ground, the entire woods were on fire. The bandits ran out of the house screaming at the archers on top of the house. Oscar gave them the signal to drop the hot oil.

The oil hit the bandits. The oil went into their beards and began to scorch their skin.

"CHARGE," Oscar yelled to the remaining villagers.

Oscar led the charge straight into the bandits. The villagers hit the oily bandits with all their strength. Oscar ran right past the bandits outside the house and went into the house. As Oscar entered the house, two bandits came running from upstairs. Oscar drove his steel dagger into one of the bandits throat. He grabbed his steel sword and slit the other bandit's throat. Oscar ran upstairs and found that four bandits were trying to get onto the roof through an opening in the ceiling. Oscar ran back downstairs and grabbed his dagger. As he came back upstairs, one of the bandits heard him. He threw the dagger at him and killed him. The other three ran at Oscar. Oscar drove his sword into one of the bandit's eyesockets. He pulled it out and chopped off the arm of another bandit. The final bandit jumped out the window and tried to run, but was killed by the villagers outside.

Oscar and the villagers had done the impossible. They killed every bandit without anyone dying.

"Congratulations! We all have survived the night! There will be a Falador journalist coming to write about our trade fleet tomorrow. I think we have a better story for him. Don't you? I would like to say that you all have earned my respect! Tomorrow we feast!"

Chapter 2: Rimmington Guard

Oscar and his villagers had survived the bandit raid. The villagers noticed that the only house that was destroyed was actually Oscar's ranch. Little did the villagers know, Oscar actually planned that. Oscar wanted to leave Rimmington and rejoin his comrades in Falador. After what he saw though, Oscar didn't want to leave. He wanted to live side by side.

The reporter that came to the small village didn't expect to see a bunch of dead bandits next to a burning house. In fact, the reporter almost left thinking that the bandits in the area had killed the villagers. Oscar was the only person that stopped the reporter from leaving.

"Wait! Don't leave," Oscar yelled as he ran to the reporter.
"No! Don't kill me," the reporter tried to run, but Oscar got him.
"We aren't bandits. We actually killed those bandits last night. We wanted you to write about the bandits being killed instead of our trade fleet. We want to join Falador," Oscar began to lead the reporter back into the town square.

Oscar retold the story of the villagers slaughtering the bandits. He forgot the part of him entering the house to save the archers on top of the house. The only time the reporter got a small hint of Oscar saving the archers was from Lucas. Lucas retold that part. Oscar gave a stern look at him once he finished. Lucas knew he did something wrong.

"Why did you tell him that? Falador will learn who I actually am," Oscar seemed a little worried.
"I don't really know who you are. Care to tell," Lucas tried to pry it out of him.
"Well I guess I can. Everyone here knows that I escaped from Myortania. What you don't know is that I actually was a blood sacrifice," Oscar said as he pointed to two distinctive marks on his neck. "I escaped after they took their breakfast for the day. What you don't know is that I actually was caught in a raid on Myortania. I was in charge of a raid on a Southern camp. There was suppose to be a band of Draynor rebels being protected by the vampires. That was completely false. The vampires had killed the Draynor rebels and waited for us to come so that they could kill us. When my fifteen Falador soldiers hit the landing area we saw no one alive. We walked about 500 feet inlad to try and find someone. We couldn't find anyone. Then they came. The vampires killed every single soldier under my command except me. They took me hostage. I spent the next five years in a prison. I luckily escaped," Oscar began to trail off.
"I'm sorry Oscar. I didn't know what actually happened," Lucas walked away with his head down.

The reporter left Rimmington. Three days after the reporter left Rimmington, a squad of Falador soldiers and the Falador King came to Rimmington.

"Where's Oscar? I must talk to him," the king said.
"I'm right here your majesty," oscar stepped forward.
"I have word that you formed a band of villagers together and trained them to fight off and kll every single bandit that attacked your village," the king looked at Oscar.
"That I did you majesty," Oscar had no proud in his voice.
"Well I would like to annex Rimmington and make you the leader of a local military guard. What do you have to say about that," the king looked at Oscar with a funny look.
"Well your majesty. I cannot decide for the entire village. Please stay the night your majesty. We will all decide tonight," Oscar told the king.

Oscar and Lucas began to think about what they should. Oscar knew that villagers would never make a good military guard. They were only good for improving Rimmington's wealth.

"I don't know Lucas. The villagers here would never be able to form a decent military guard. I know that I didn't get the bandit leader. He is probably out there right now forming another group to come and kill us all. If the king will give me some of his units then I think we should take the deal. If not then we shouldn't. What do you think," Oscar looked at Lucas.
"Well Oscar. I think we need to take the deal. We would be able to build up our trade fleet and get supplies to improve our village. The deal cannot go wrong no matter what Oscar," Lucas said.
"Hmmm. I think I have my answer," Oscar left the room.

The next morning the king got ready for the answer that Oscar had for him.

"So Oscar. Do you have an answer for me," the king looked at Oscar.
"Yes your majesty. We will join Falador under one condition," Oscar said.
"What's the condition," the king gave a wierd look to Oscar.
"You need to give us some of your soldiers to help guard this outpost of yours," Oscar said with a proud voice.
"That's it. That's your only condition," the king said.
"Yes," Oscar said.
"Fine then. The Rimmington Guard will be led by Oscar and Lucas of Rimmington and have Falador soldiers under Oscar's command. You will recieve twenty of my finest soldiers in two days," the king left Rimmington to go back to Falador.

Chapter 3: The Golden Age

The best thing that happened to Rimmington before being established was actually joining Falador. Rimmington no longer needed to worry about radiers, trade could increase, wealth can increase, and much much more. The few things that could go wrong actually did before it got better.

The standard of living went way down. The civilians were forced to live on the docks of Port Sarim. Port Sarim was not even part of Rimmington, but it was a very important trade center. The Rimmington civilians that lived on the Port Sarim docks were shunned upon by the sailors. Sometimes they got scraps thrown at them for amusement of the sailors. That all changed though.

The trade fleet shrunk! The blood of Rimmington was cut in half. The twenty ships they had became ten and the ten merchants became five within a month. The economy of Rimmington suffered terribly. After the trade fleet shrunk, Port Sarim became a power in trade in the area.

After a month of joining forces with Falador, Rimmington wanted out. The economy was garbage and the civilians were going to live on the docks of Port Sarim. Civilians continously went to Oscar's house and asked for food. Oscar would give them the food then the civilians would tell him the horrors of what they saw on the streets. Oscar knew it was time to talk with the king of Falador.

KNOCK! KNOCK! "Come in," the king said not lifting his eyes from his desk.
"Hello my majesty. We need to talk about Rimmington," Oscar entered the room.
"Aww Oscar. What could the problem be," the king had an astonished look on his face.
"Well. Rimmington is the problem. We are falling apart. We need help," Oscar didn't try to look so desperate.
"What can I do Oscar? I would love to help you, but I cannot if I don't know what's wrong," the king replied to Oscar's plead.
"Well. I think it all can be traced back to Port Sarim," Oscar had a puzzled look on his face.
"Hmmm. I see. Go back to Rimmington. You will know what I will do in a day," the king shooed Oscar out.

Oscar didn't know what the king had in his mind. He knew that Rimmington couldn't go and fight Port Sarim. On his walk home Oscar began to think.

You know what? Maybe we can actually take Port Sarim. We have had most of our civilians in that town. Our guard has been a guest there many times. Heck! I have even seen the docks. If the king sends me soldiers I think we can actually take our problem and become a lot bigger!

Oscar and Lucas were sitting in Oscar's house talking about the weather. Then out of nowhere a knock at the door.

"Who is it," Oscar said with the door closed.
"Are you Oscar," a man's voice replied.
"Yes. Who are you," Oscar had a little worry in his voice.
"I am the commander of the 1,000 Falador soldiers that have come. I have been ordered to make an attack plan on Port Sarim with you," the man's voice said.
"Alright. Come in," Oscar opened the door.

I'm glad that you're back (although I don't recall meeting you ) and like your writing style quite a lot. The main issue in the story was how disjointed it was. One minute it's talking about Oscars background, and the next it's talking about bandits. But, the story carried along at an exhilarating speed, making it fun and fast to read. I'm ready to read more! Good job!

I left in August, right around the time you joined. So you might have not met me, but you may have read a book of mine. The Great War, I plan on continuing that one too. Sorry for the disjoint of the story. All of it does lead somewhere don't worry.

Chapter 2: Rimmington Guard

Oscar and his villagers had survived the bandit raid. The villagers noticed that the only house that was destroyed was actually Oscar's ranch. Little did the villagers know, Oscar actually planned that. Oscar wanted to leave Rimmington and rejoin his comrades in Falador. After what he saw though, Oscar didn't want to leave. He wanted to live side by side.

The reporter that came to the small village didn't expect to see a bunch of dead bandits next to a burning house. In fact, the reporter almost left thinking that the bandits in the area had killed the villagers. Oscar was the only person that stopped the reporter from leaving.

"Wait! Don't leave," Oscar yelled as he ran to the reporter.
"No! Don't kill me," the reporter tried to run, but Oscar got him.
"We aren't bandits. We actually killed those bandits last night. We wanted you to write about the bandits being killed instead of our trade fleet. We want to join Falador," Oscar began to lead the reporter back into the town square.

Oscar retold the story of the villagers slaughtering the bandits. He forgot the part of him entering the house to save the archers on top of the house. The only time the reporter got a small hint of Oscar saving the archers was from Lucas. Lucas retold that part. Oscar gave a stern look at him once he finished. Lucas knew he did something wrong.

"Why did you tell him that? Falador will learn who I actually am," Oscar seemed a little worried.
"I don't really know who you are. Care to tell," Lucas tried to pry it out of him.
"Well I guess I can. Everyone here knows that I escaped from Myortania. What you don't know is that I actually was a blood sacrifice," Oscar said as he pointed to two distinctive marks on his neck. "I escaped after they took their breakfast for the day. What you don't know is that I actually was caught in a raid on Myortania. I was in charge of a raid on a Southern camp. There was suppose to be a band of Draynor rebels being protected by the vampires. That was completely false. The vampires had killed the Draynor rebels and waited for us to come so that they could kill us. When my fifteen Falador soldiers hit the landing area we saw no one alive. We walked about 500 feet inlad to try and find someone. We couldn't find anyone. Then they came. The vampires killed every single soldier under my command except me. They took me hostage. I spent the next five years in a prison. I luckily escaped," Oscar began to trail off.
"I'm sorry Oscar. I didn't know what actually happened," Lucas walked away with his head down.

The reporter left Rimmington. Three days after the reporter left Rimmington, a squad of Falador soldiers and the Falador King came to Rimmington.

"Where's Oscar? I must talk to him," the king said.
"I'm right here your majesty," oscar stepped forward.
"I have word that you formed a band of villagers together and trained them to fight off and kll every single bandit that attacked your village," the king looked at Oscar.
"That I did you majesty," Oscar had no proud in his voice.
"Well I would like to annex Rimmington and make you the leader of a local military guard. What do you have to say about that," the king looked at Oscar with a funny look.
"Well your majesty. I cannot decide for the entire village. Please stay the night your majesty. We will all decide tonight," Oscar told the king.

Oscar and Lucas began to think about what they should. Oscar knew that villagers would never make a good military guard. They were only good for improving Rimmington's wealth.

"I don't know Lucas. The villagers here would never be able to form a decent military guard. I know that I didn't get the bandit leader. He is probably out there right now forming another group to come and kill us all. If the king will give me some of his units then I think we should take the deal. If not then we shouldn't. What do you think," Oscar looked at Lucas.
"Well Oscar. I think we need to take the deal. We would be able to build up our trade fleet and get supplies to improve our village. The deal cannot go wrong no matter what Oscar," Lucas said.
"Hmmm. I think I have my answer," Oscar left the room.

The next morning the king got ready for the answer that Oscar had for him.

"So Oscar. Do you have an answer for me," the king looked at Oscar.
"Yes your majesty. We will join Falador under one condition," Oscar said.
"What's the condition," the king gave a wierd look to Oscar.
"You need to give us some of your soldiers to help guard this outpost of yours," Oscar said with a proud voice.
"That's it. That's your only condition," the king said.
"Yes," Oscar said.
"Fine then. The Rimmington Guard will be led by Oscar and Lucas of Rimmington and have Falador soldiers under Oscar's command. You will recieve twenty of my finest soldiers in two days," the king left Rimmington to go back to Falador.

Chapter 3: The Golden Age

Okay, so you seem to be developing an interesting story, but I don't really find it that exciting to read... You also seem to be moving around quite fast, trying to score a home run, getting all the posts, talking about a man called Oscar to powerful speeches and such. Anyhow, here's my basic critique.

Doesn't this just seem terribly dry to you? This is a really dull paragraph which could easily be made into an inspiring opening few lines, after all when you read a book, don't you judge it by the first page, and not on p.237 when the author has actually done something?

This may not be that exciting, but it could be so easily reworded into something similar to this:
In one village, lived a young man passing by the name of Oscar. It was unknown to the local inhabitants why he appeared to posses a first name, but it was common-knowledge that he had ventured from the perilous lands of Myortania. He has come to the village, attempting to live a normal life, yet as time passed Oscar appreciated he had a responsibility to this small village.

I can understand if you don't want to expand greatly on such small details, but it is just slightly more interesting, though by no margin at all interesting to read, merely because of the context, rather than how you've written it. (Although it is good to give the reader an idea of the character at the beginning, rather than slowly developing a personality.)


Again, your direct speech is just a little boring to read. Instead of "Oscar said this" and "the king said this," try and extend your vocabulary on this side of things. It is so simple to put "muttered" or "announced" rather than "said." The speech it self isn't that exciting, it just seems long, and you may want to try and change your writing style in different contexts and for different people. For example, the king could say "That is it. That is your only condition..." putting emphasis on the fact it is just one condition.

Hope I haven't sounded too critical, can't wait to read more :-)

~Magical

I joined in August because I thought I had to join to use all of the guides, so I was only really active by September, which is why we haven't met. I really liked the second chapter of the story because of its explanation of Oscars past, as well as how it showed his more fragile, human side. Not only does he worry about his past being revealed, he listens to Lucas' advice. This fixed an issue with the first chapter that I'd not noticed, which was Oscars lack of warmth. You've really improved on the flow of the story, and the only major issue was that it went by too fast! I'm eager for more! Keep it up!

Sorry for the delay on Chapter 3.

Chapter 3: Golden Age

The best thing that happened to Rimmington before being established was actually joining Falador. Rimmington no longer needed to worry about radiers, trade could increase, wealth can increase, and much much more. The few things that could go wrong actually did before it got better.

The standard of living went way down. The civilians were forced to live on the docks of Port Sarim. Port Sarim was not even part of Rimmington, but it was a very important trade center. The Rimmington civilians that lived on the Port Sarim docks were shunned upon by the sailors. Sometimes they got scraps thrown at them for amusement of the sailors. That all changed though.

The trade fleet shrunk! The blood of Rimmington was cut in half. The twenty ships they had became ten and the ten merchants became five within a month. The economy of Rimmington suffered terribly. After the trade fleet shrunk, Port Sarim became a power in trade in the area.

After a month of joining forces with Falador, Rimmington wanted out. The economy was garbage and the civilians were going to live on the docks of Port Sarim. Civilians continously went to Oscar's house and asked for food. Oscar would give them the food then the civilians would tell him the horrors of what they saw on the streets. Oscar knew it was time to talk with the king of Falador.

KNOCK! KNOCK! "Come in," the king said not lifting his eyes from his desk.
"Hello my majesty. We need to talk about Rimmington," Oscar entered the room.
"Aww Oscar. What could the problem be," the king had an astonished look on his face.
"Well. Rimmington is the problem. We are falling apart. We need help," Oscar didn't try to look so desperate.
"What can I do Oscar? I would love to help you, but I cannot if I don't know what's wrong," the king replied to Oscar's plead.
"Well. I think it all can be traced back to Port Sarim," Oscar had a puzzled look on his face.
"Hmmm. I see. Go back to Rimmington. You will know what I will do in a day," the king shooed Oscar out.

Oscar didn't know what the king had in his mind. He knew that Rimmington couldn't go and fight Port Sarim. On his walk home Oscar began to think.

You know what? Maybe we can actually take Port Sarim. We have had most of our civilians in that town. Our guard has been a guest there many times. Heck! I have even seen the docks. If the king sends me soldiers I think we can actually take our problem and become a lot bigger!

Oscar and Lucas were sitting in Oscar's house talking about the weather. Then out of nowhere a knock at the door.

"Who is it," Oscar said with the door closed.
"Are you Oscar," a man's voice replied.
"Yes. Who are you," Oscar had a little worry in his voice.
"I am the commander of the 1,000 Falador soldiers that have come. I have been ordered to make an attack plan on Port Sarim with you," the man's voice said.
"Alright. Come in," Oscar opened the door.

Chapter 4: Operation Merchant

That was definitely weaker than your usual chapter. It was not very exciting, and confusing. You titled it “The Golden Age” yet it's about more desperate times. Also, the idea of Rimmington and Falador teaming up to conquire Port Sarim seems far-fetched at best. Also, the king of Falador acted very oddly, to tell you the truth. But it still wasn't bad, hopefully the next chapter will pick up.

Sorry I needed to establish something for in the future.

Actually I may post it tonight. Depends on if I can get the last few paragraphs written before I go to work.

Well, I'm still ready and waiting to read it!

Sorry for the wait man. A project just came up and I had to do it. Now I can fully write this story. Just for you

Chapter 4: Operation Merchant

Port Sarim had a very strategic position. It controlled a position on the water and had a central location when it came to connection to the other villages in the area.

The plan was going to be a simple, but yet very effective according to the young commander. The plan called forthe Rimmington Guard to sieze the docks and the high ground, the jail, during the night. Then at dawn the complete assault by the 1,000 Falador soldiers would take the rest of the town and make it part of Rimmington.

"Julius! I don't think the guard can actually take what you are asking of it. You want my fifty soldiers to take a heavily guarded dock system and then storm a jail that has some of the world's best archers on its roof," Oscar was angry.
"I don't really care if you loose forty-nine soldiers. You are going to take and hold those positions. If you don't then the entire operation could fall," Julius knew he had power over Oscar.
*sigh* "You Falador commanders now in days. Always fight fight fight. Too bad you will never actually fight in your own war," Oscar left angry.

Oscar knew from his training that the plan was a complete gamble. If his soldiers didn't take the docks before the archers on the jail knew what happened then the plan may be a success. However, if the archers found out what was happening, then the plan could easily become a complete slaughter.

"Well Lucas. Julius refuses to listen to me anymore. It's going to be the Rimmington Guard against the entire city of Port Sarim. You need to listen closely. Are you listening," Oscar seemed like he had an important subject to talk about.
"Of course I am Oscar," Lucas replied.
"Good. When we land on the docks I don't even want you to help us take the docks. I want you to take ten soldiers and go attack the jail. You will probably need to blow a hole in the wall so that you can breach. But that's not what we need to talk about," Oscar trailed off.
"What is it then," Lucas was curious.
"I have a feeling that I may not leave Port Sarim without dying. If I do perhaps die," Oscar was interrupted.
"You are not going to die! I know exactly what I have to do so don't worry about me! Worry about what will happen when we take Port Sarim! Got it," Lucas was very angry for Oscar to bring this up.
"Why are you angry? You know that this can very well happen. If I die you need to take control of the attack! You know what happens when war comes to close to a person's heart! Do you," Oscar's voice raised.
"No," Lucas lowered his head in respect and left.

Julius called Oscar to his quarters the day before Operation Merchant would actually take place.

"Good day Oscar," Julius greeted Oscar.
"Hello Julius. You called me," Oscar questioned.
"Yes. I need you to actually take control of only a part of the docks and destroy the rest," Julius answered without raising his head.
"WHAT? You want me to do what," Oscar was in disbelief.


MORE COMING SOON!

That's me, the guy who finds good stories that mainstream reviewers tend to ignore! Lol!

Okay, that was quite a bit better than the previous chapter. First of all, you had some action and excitement, brought on by describing the plans for the risky attack, and best of all; you had a cliffhanger ending brought on by Julius' brutality. There were some flaws, though, the biggest of which being that you never introduced Julius in this or any chapter. I think he is the leader of the 1000 Faladorian troops, but I'm still unsure. This problem led to many problems, such as a confusing reference to “The young commander”, and also a reference to Julius listening to Oscar in the past, which never happened. But, altogether this chapter was a return to form, and you're improving substantially as a writer. Good luck on chapter 5, and you may want to change this topic's subtitle, which suggests that you're still writing chapter three!

Yup. I did leave some stuff missing. I'll rewrite a section of this to better explain the switch from young commander and Julius. Expect Chapter 5 sometime this weekend. Draguat you are a very determined reader to this topic. Thank you all though for reading.

I read the story because it's good. I'm surprised more people haven't been pulled in by the plot. I noticed that you updated the topic subtitle. Good call!

This is a great story. I love coming on the forums to read peoples amazing stories, and this is one of my favourites! I hope you can continue with consistent action and drama, I'll always come back to read it .

Sorry for the late post. Word decided to corrupt my file twice. Had to rewrite this chapter so it may be a little wierd.

Chapter 5: Take the beaches!

Oscar didn't like Julius's plan. Julius wanted him to blow up the docks and then take the jail. Oscar knew that the explosion would wake the entire town and then his soldiers would be killed in minutes. Oscar needed a new plan.

"Lucas! My friend. How's it going," Oscar greeted Lucas.
"Not bad," Lucas was a littled astonished.
"Please sit. Want a drink," Oscar joyfully said.
"Please. Thanks," Lucas was still unsure.
"Remember how Julius wanted us to blow the docks," Oscar seemed more serious.
"Yes I remember," Lucas replied.
"Well I'm going against him. That explosion would wake the town and eventually kill every Rimmington Guard soldier," Oscar had a very serious look.
"So if we don't blow up the docks where are we going to land," Lucas seemed a little worried.
"The Asarganian beaches! They are not well defended and is relatively close to Port Sarim. It will be an easy landing and an easier attack if it succeeds," Oscar had a lot of confidence in his voice.
"Well. Should I prep the soldiers," Lucas questioned.
"Yes. We attack tonight," Oscar gave the command.

The new plan was going to attack at the same time and just attack a different area. The new plan had to be kept a secret or Julius would completely stop the attack on Port Sarim.

The attack on the Asarganian Beaches would take place at midnight. Oscar and his soldiers loaded the boats at 11:00PM. Oscar had trained his soldiers the best he could. He told the last boat that they would shoot five arrows each then they would land. Oscar knew that this had to work or the beaches would become a slaughter.

The boat ride over to the beaches was a complete hell. The waves were at least 20ft high and the wind was blowing almost 50mph. The tiny ten man boats were barely staying together in the rough waves.

"Oh my dear Saradomin. How much longer will we have to go before we actually land," Lucas said as he threw up over the side.
"About ten more minutes. Can you survive that long," Oscar had a little chuckle in his voice.
"I don't know," Lucas threw up again.

The entire boat laughed at Lucas.

"Well. I guess not," Oscar luaghed.
"Yeah. Let's hope the beaches won't be as bad," Lucas threw up yet again.
"Don't worry. They will be hell," Oscar left Lucas's side.

The boats reached the shores. Oscar signaled for the final boat in the tiny armada to being their bombardment. It was the point of no return once that first arrow landed on the beach.

"AIM," the commander on the archer boat commanded.
"PULL," he had a little shakiness in his voice.
"LOOSE," he flung his arm down and nearly fell off of the boat.
"UNLEASH HELL," the commander gave the order to fire all five arrows.

The first wave of arrows hit the beaches. It killed only a few Port Sarim elite soldiers. The elite soldiers of Port Sarim were a hated company. They were known for holding off wave after wave of enemies and holding positions until the last man is dead.

The second wave of arrows killed many more soldiers in the trenches. This finally set the alarm off that the beaches were under attack.

The final three waves of arrow covered the other attacking Rimmington Guard.

"SWORDS," the commander on the archer boat yelled.
"Here we go men! Prepare to defend yourselves and your friends. The elite soldiers on those beaches won't give you any mercy. They hate us. It's time that we decide which town, which culture, which citizens will survive. For mother Rimmington! Die for her," the commander gave his final speech before they jumped off of the boats.

The fifty Rimmington Guard soldiers stormed the trenches. The invaders had to run past arrows, stones, and of course stakes. Fourty five got to the trenches to only see ten elite soldiers. The Rimmington Guard slaughtered the defenders and ran straight into the headquarters of the beaches.

The archer commander stopped and told his soldiers to arm.

"AIM!"
"PULL!"
"LOOSE!"

The archers fired straight into the camp.

"FIRE!"
"AIM!"
"PULL!"
"LOOSE!"

Fire arrows hit the camp and set it on fire. Finally the rest of the Guard stormed the camp and killed the remaining Port Sarim elite.

The Rimmington Guard took the beaches in ten minutes and began to push into the countryside of Port Sarim. Now it was only an amount of time before the Guard took the jail. Oscar knew that explosives and reinforcements were going to be needed tomorrow.

Very cool, that speech was terrific. I can't wait for more.

Chapter 6: Surprise!

The Rimmington Guard had taken the Asarganian beaches relatively easy. Now they had to march through the country side of Port Sarim and attack the jail. They had to march roughly six miles and take a heavily defended jail within six hours. The Guard definetely had it's work cut out.

"Oscar. Did you believe how well our archers did back on the beaches? The army barely had to fight on the beaches," Lucas joyfully commented while they marched.
"I know Lucas. Just imagine if the archers did any damage," Oscar replied.
"Well. I guess I will go see what the men are doing up front," Lucas said as he walked off.

The Rimmington Guard marched out of the beaches and began to enter the swamps when Oscar noticed something was wrong.

"Lucas! Get over here," Oscar commanded.
"What is it," Lucas seemed worried.
"Where is the Saradomin Church? We were suppose to pass that before we got into the swamps. Send two scouts ahead to find it," Oscar knew something wasn't right.
"Alright sir," Lucas walked towards the front of the column.

The two scouts were given an hour before the Guard would attack through the swamp in search for them. As the two scouts began to enter the swamp, they noticed that something wasn't right. The infamous rats in the area were nowhere to be found and it was very quiet. The scouts had only one option. Press on in hope they can survive an hour.

"Wait. Did you hear that," one of the scouts whispered.
"No. What was it," the other one whispered back.
"It sounded like..," he trailed off.
"Like what? NO! PLEASE! NO! UGGH," the scout was never heard from again.

Both scouts entered the swamps. An hour passed and the scouts didn't return.

"Well Lucas. It seems we are going in. Go along the most Eastern shore of the swamp. We still need to take that jail," Oscar was puzzled.
"Alright sir," Lucas replied as he left.

The Rimmington Guard left its two scouts in the swamps to survive by themselves. However, Oscar decided that the swamps were to risky and that the jail needed to be taken ASAP.

The Rimmington Guard had 46 soldiers to take the jail and hold it.

"Lucas get over here. See the jail just at the top of that hill," Oscar pointed up to the jail.
"Yea," Lucas knew that a big bang was going to be needed.
"Well. I'm going to need you to blow a hole in the wall closest to us so we can just storm the area. Then I want you to throw bombs over the side of the roof to kill the archers and maybe even blow holes for them to fall through," Oscar began to have a more puzzled look.
"Will do. But are you ok," Lucas was worried.
"Yea. I was just wondering how the scouts are doing," Oscar looked into the swamps.
"They'll do fine. Let's go and take this jail," Lucas tried to comfort Oscar.

The Rimmington Guard was ready. They had an hour left before they would have to take the jail. During the hour, Lucas and another soldier ran up and planted bombs at the wall of the jail and began to prepare the ones to be thrown over the side.

"Alright gentleman. Today is the day that we have trained for. We have taken the beaches together and have fought against numerous bandits. Now today we shall fight one of our last battles together. Don't think that this jail will be your grave. Think of it as Rimmington's step towards the greatest city in the world. Fight for her! Die for her! And most of all LONG LIVE RIMMINGTON!" Oscar gave the speech just before Lucas set the bombs off.

BOOM! BOOM! BOOM! A hole in the wall began to crumble.

"FOLLOW ME!" Oscar lead the screaming charge straigth into the jail.

Oscar was the first through the hole in the wall. Oscar killed the three stunned guards on the first floor. As he killed the last one, Oscar turned around to see the ladder leading to the second floor falling to the ground.

"Lucas! Throw them," Oscar commanded.

Lucas and his other soldier threw two bombs each over the side of the jail wall.

BOOM! BOOM! BOOM! BOOM! The bombs killed all the archers on the roof and made two holes.

"Lucas! Go over the top! Take the roof," Oscar changed the plan.

Lucas got the archers to cover him as the soldier and himself climbed the to the roof with the rope. The two men climbed three stories straigth up. Once they were on the roof, they order the archers to begin their climb.

"How many bombs do you have left," Lucas asked the soldier.
"Two sir," the soldier answered.
"Alright. Let's throw the remaining bombs down the holes. Then we will get the archers to shoot some arrows in the second floor before we jump down. Ok," Lucas revised the plan again.
"Ok sir," the soldier got his bombs out.

Lucas signaled for the bombs to go in.

BOOM! BOOM! BOOM! BOOM!

Lucas then signaled for the archers to shoot.

Finally Lucas and the soldier jumped through the holes. They jumped down and saw no one alive. The soldier opened the hatch where the ladder went. Lucas searched the dead for a map of the swamps. He didn't find any.

"Congrats Lucas. You took this jail with only two guys. I'm proud of you," Oscar patted Lucas's back and walked back to the swamps.

Oscar stared into the swamps until the sun began to appear. Out of the mist, Oscar saw one figure. It was a scout!

"MEDIC! Get a medic over here," Oscar said as he ran to the scout.

Oscar and the medic pulled the scout back inside the jail.

"Get some rest. We will debrief tommorrow," Oscar replied.

Suspense! Ooh, I wonder what's happening?

Sorry for posting it so late. I finished it and completely forgot to post it. I'll try and write Chapter 7 sometime within the next day or two.

Whew! I thought you'd given up, but I was glad to discover that you had updated with chapter 6! I had to reread chapter five to get my bearings, but once I got back in the plot, this chapter was exciting as usual. The only flaw was that you wrote very redundantly in the swamp scene, and the repetition caused confusion which spoiled the sense of suspense and fear that could have been there. It was very nice how you hinted that Oscar was uneasy around swamps by having Lucas comfort him, and by having him worried about his troops. Also, I simply grinned upon reading about the areas giant rat problem, because although it's a subtle detail it is oh, so true in Runescape. Can't wait for chapter 7! Good luck!

Chapter 7: The Swamps

The only scout that returned from the mission into the swamps was having his restt. Everyone that was in the Rimmington Guard knew something happened and something was out there to get them.

"I really don't want to go and clear those swamps. Did you see what happened to that man," a worried soldier commented.
"I know. Saradomin can only be on our side if we go into that swamp," another soldier had a worried look.
"Hey. Don't worry you two. Oscar would never send us into those swamps if the other scout is dead," Lucas tried to comfort the soldiers.

The medic looked over the scout and kept finding strange marks. They weren't from a sword or any human made weapon of this time. As the medic began to exam the cuts more in depth, he found a seed of some sort.

"Go get Oscar! He needs to see this," the medic yelled at one of the soldiers.

Time passed as the medic kept waiting for Oscar. In the meantime, the medic began to examine the seed in depth.

"Yes. What is it," Oscar came into the room.
"I cannot explain any of this. You just have to see it," the medic showed Oscar the seed.
"Hmmmm. Do you know where this may have come from," Oscar began to worry.
"No clue. That's the only thing though," the medic put another glass of beer into the scout.
"What else could there be," Oscar was near crying when he saw the cuts.
"These sir. Those cuts aren't from any weapon that is made by humans. That is also the area where I found the seed," the medic was puzzled.

Oscar just left the room. He had nowhere to go. The Falador Army wasn't going to attack until noon and the Port Sarim military was getting ready to attack the beaches and the jail. Oscar knew that something wasn't right with this entire invasion.

"Sir. The scout is awake," a soldier came to get Oscar.
"Thank you," Oscar got up from his chair.

The scout had awaken from his nap and was ready to be debriefed.

"No no. Please sit. Eat also," Oscar didn't want the scout to salute him.
"Thank you sir," the scout went back to his eggs.
"What happened in there," Oscar was serious.
"Well sir. We were ambushed by a bunch of vines. They just came from the trees. We were walking and then they just came. I was," the scout trailed off.
"It's ok. Take your time," Oscar tried to comfort the scout.
"They grabbed the guy next to me by his throat. They," he trailed off again.
"They did what," Oscar still in his comforting voice.
"THEY HUNG HIM," the scout yelled and broke into a cry.
"It's alright. You made it out. Correct," Oscar still trying to comfort the scout.
"I know. But I watch them strangle him to death. He tried to fight back. They just decapitated him," the scout cried.
"Oh dear Saradomin," Oscar was in shock.
"No sir. Saradomin isn't in that swamp. Saradomin would have never done that to a man," the scout began to cry.
"I'll leave you now. Get some rest," Oscar left the room yet again.

Oscar couldn't believe what happened in the swamp. That must be the reason why he couldn't see the Saradomin Church steeple. Oscar know had to decide whether or not to go into the swamps to find the scouts body.

Oooooooohhhhhh. Creepy! That was an unexpected yet good twist, having there be something very wrong in the area Oscar is invading. The idea of killer swamp plants is especially scary and interesting. It was great how you slowly built up to the point, first with strange cuts, then with seeds in the wounds. My only beef is that I don't know why Oscar would consider going into a deadly swamp to get a decapitated body and a loose head. But no matter what happens, this was really cool!

Chapter 8: Long Live the King!

The 1,000 Falador soldiers were just outside the woods of Port Sarim. They had taken control of the crossroads that Port Sarim relied on for survival. Now it was just a matter of time before Julius would watch safely from the crossroad as his soldiers took Port Sarim.

"Listen closely. I was given orders to take this town then hand it over to Rimmington. Well how about we destroy them docks so Rimmington will spend an awful a lot of money. Good idea," Julius said to one of his captains.
"I can do that sir," the captain replied.
"Good do it," Julius shooed the captain away.

The attack on Port Sarim had begun seven hours ago when Oscar invaded the Asarganian beaches. Julius on the other hand wanted that part erased from the books and added that the Rimmington Guard invaded the same time. It was time that Julius made his fake invasion happen.

"Listen closely young men. You are about to embark on a great voyage for the greater good of Falador. You will invade and take Port Sarim. Take no prisoners! You will see your friends die. You will witness your friends kill other people. And worst of all. You will see wounded soldiers call for your help! I will remind you that they will take no prisoners and kill as many of you as possible. Long live the king!" Julius gave his speech.

The soldiers were all worried. Most of them never have seen combat. It was now time for them to make an attack that they only practice in the small town of Rimmington.

"LONG LIVE THE KING!" the soldiers all screamed as the ran down the steep muddy hill towards the town of Port Sarim.

The first wave of Falador soldiers were either killed on the hill by archers or barely made it inside the first few houses. The few that made it into the houses had to clear them and prepare for reinforcements to storm the streets.

One of the surviving soldiers remembered that he fell in the mud down the hill and got up with his sword stuck in the ground. He was forced to get up and run into a house with only his small bronze dagger. As he jumped through the window, a PSES, Port Sarim Elite Soldier, ran downstairs swinging his steel longsword. The Falador soldier got up and stabbed the PSES in the eye. He grabbed the steel longsword and slit his throat. The man then ran upstairs and killed an archer shooting out the window. The soldier finally threw a bomb onto the roof. BOOM! He climbed up the ladder to the roof and found all the soldiers dead. He would survive the attack.

The rest of the houses on the edge of the hill were cleared the same way. The surviving 945 Falador soldiers were stuck and couldn't get out. Finally one of the captains gave the signal for the catapults and thirty cavalry to attack the weakened flank. The bombardment killed and destroyed most of the docks and sailors on them. The cavalry attacked and swept straight to the jail.

"Sir! We are here to help you take the most Southern docks and finish of the PSES," the calvary commander told Oscar.
"Alright. Rimmington Guard! MOVE OUT," Oscar led the charge out of the jail and into the Southern docks.

While Oscar was reeking havoc in the rear of the Port Sarim, the Falador soldiers stormed straight into the lines of the remaining PSES. The slaughter began in this area and would continue all the way to the last dock. Wounded soldiers laid on the ground and yelled for help. Some Falador soldiers watched their nearest friend die right next to them. And even one man watched a PSES soldier kill a wounded Falador soldier. Port Sarim became a complete hellish battleground. Only the strong lived through the first part of slaughter. Finally, the strongest survived the final part of the slaughter.

"JULIUS," Oscar came fresh out of battle.
"Yes," Julius said in an annoying voice.
"Port Sarim is now under our control," Oscar said in an annoying voice back.
"Good now get out," Julius once again said with a pissed off voice.
"Listen you little goosedown. You never have fought in a damn fight. Never seen a man die in front of you. Never seen your friend get his head chopped off. Do you know what the hell what I went through? Do you? NO! So shut the hell up," Oscar left in disgust.

Very cool, and methinks that Falador may be plotting against Rimington.
BTW Whenever I read PSES, I think of something like PlayStation Entertainment System, lol.

Playstation Entertain System? LOL I don't know how to make a comeback from that. It's just too stupid.

Dude are you on writing 'roids? You've managed to churn out a new and exciting chapter almost daily, and the plot keeps getting better. I enjoyed the subtle mockery of Julius leading to his argument with Oscar, as it provided good foreshadowing. One thing though. You wrote that Oscar spoke to Julius in an annoying voice. I'm pretty sure you meant annoyed, because annoying would mean he was being obnoxious. Great job!

Dang I missed another small thing! Oh well. Writing roids are out so here is my next chapter.

Chapter 9: The Meeting

Oscar and the Rimmington Guard knew that they indeed took Port Sarim. They discovered that the swamps of Asargania may indeed be haunted. The only person in the land that though the Rimmington Guard took Port Sarim was Julius. He hated Oscar.

"Sir. How was your meeting with Julius," Lucas already knew the answer.
"Humph. You already know the answer don't you," Oscar disgruntily commented.
"Yes," Lucas was sad Oscar knew.
"Well. Julius thinks his Falador soldiers took Port Sarim," Oscar still angry commented.
"WHAT?! Does he know what we exactly did," Lucas was astonished.
"Nope. And he doesn't care. Tell the soldiers we are going home," Oscar went to his room.

Lucas knew something wasn't right with Oscar. He never let the soldiers leave without him leading them home.

Something must have happened in Myortania between them two. I mean if Oscar has that much hate for Julius then something had to happen. I hope it wasn't about Oscar getting caught, Lucas thought as he walked to the soldiers barracks.

"ATTENTION! OFFICER ON DECK," a captain commanded as Lucas walked in.
"At ease. Soldiers I have great news! We are going home. Oscar on the other hand. He is staying," Lucas looked at all the soldiers as he said this.
"What do you mean staying here? Is he going after the dead scout alone," a soldier asked.
"I don't know. Just get ready to leave," Lucas left the tent.

Is he going after the dead scout? Oscar never likes to leave a man behind. Maybe he is. Oh Saradomin please tell me that Oscar is just going to Falador, Lucas thought as he walked back to the jail.

Three hours passed, the Rimmington Guard all put on their uniforms and began to march home as Oscar waved goodbye.

"Why is he waving goodbye to us? Is he ever going to be coming home," a solider said as he waved back.

As soon as the Rimmington Guard was out of sight, the calvary commander came to get Oscar.

"Sir. Julius and you are to ride to the king now. Are you ready," the calvary commander asked.
"Yes let's go," Oscar got onto his horse.

Julius was leading the way. He wanted to show Oscar that he was in charge of him. Oscar was sad. He never let his soldiers march home without him leading the way.

The Falador gates were huge. Oscar knew that whoever wanted to attack this city would loose at least 20,000 soldiers attacking the walls. As the convoy marched through the well defended Falador, Oscar noticed that about another 5,000 could be expected to take everything, but the castle. When they entered the castle, Oscar immediatley knew another 15,000 would die. Falador would cost at least 40,000 soldiers. That equals the largest army the world had ever seen.

Oscar was showed the way to the King's Dining Room. Oscar sat across from Julius. The King entered and both stood up.

"Sit. Let's get to work shall we," the King motioned for the two to sit.
"Let's," Julius and Oscar both said.
"Oscar. I noticed that you disobeyed Julius's command. Why," the King waited for his answer.
"Well your majesty. Julius's orders would have caused millions of coins of damage and hundreds of unnecassary deaths. I decided that a night time invasion of a softly defended beach would be a better decision. So I took it," Oscar replied.
"Really? Julius said that you would be invading by land through the Rimmington mines straight into a flanking position on the PSES," the King told Oscar.
"WHAT?! Your majesty! Julius wanted my soldiers and me to invade the docks of Rimmington! And then blow them up," Oscar was angry.
"Who shall I believe? I disoriented old man or a young man straight out of the world's best officer academy. My choice is already made. Oscar you are no longer in charge of the Rimmington Guard," the King discharged Oscar.
"WHAT?! Sir I just witnessed my friends get killed. I served Falador in Myortania for too many years. Now you are going to discharge me because a snoty young commander who thinks he knows what he is doing. Your majesty! That man has never seen combat! He has never witnessed his friends die in front of him! I did! For over 20 years! For Falador! Under your reign! I'm disgusted with you," Oscar spitted on the floor and left.

Oscar got on his horse and raced out of Falador and into Rimmington. Oscar had to break the news to Rimmington. But not know. Never could he do it now.

"Well finally. I thought he would never leave. How about we really get to business? Hmmm," Julius said to the King.
"Correct," the King commented.
"The Rimmington Guard is too strong and too well trained. We need to weaken them or they will slaughter us," Julius commented.
"Well then do it! Send more "bandits" to kill some Rimmington Guard," the King motioned Julius away.

Just trying to help, but it's a very good read, none the less. Keep up the good work.

Dang you two! Both of you keep finding my small mistakes.

The reason we are fixing your small mistakes is because there are no big ones!

This story has been getting a little geographically confusing as of late. You reference something happening between Oscar and Julius in Mortyana, but Julius has never been there. Please explain, because I'm not sure if I'm missing something or I missed something or what. Apart from that, the story only gets better. Julius is incredibly fun and easy to hate, while Oscar is the seminal hero.

PS Spitted isn't a word. To spit in the past tense is spat <--- tiny detail

You don't know if Julius was in Myortania. I guess you'll have to read my next chapter in a day or two to find out.

What we know about Oscar was that he lead an expedition into Myortania to kill bandits. In which, he ended up being captive for an unknown amount of years. Oscar was suppose to be a blood sacrifice, but he escaped some how.

Don't worry. I will get all the info to you by the end of the story.

Okay. Thanks for clearing that up! Looking forward to more!

Ive just finished ready through whats here, I really like it.. But you need to improve on your grammer and your punctuation. You seem to use commas for basicicly everything.. It was very akward when someone was asking a question, or yelling and had a comma at the end.. Like: "About ten more minutes. Can you survive that long,"

And some of it just seems weird and if you said it outloud it would be weird. I hope thats not to hard on you, I really like the idea and story, I just wanted to say that...

Commas are used when someone stops talking. Read a book by a good author and you will see the same thing. Also commas are used when you don't want to end a sentence, but want to state something else in the same sentence.

Commas are used for listing, or to just length a sentace.. Ah whatever.. Im not in the mood to argue, it just seems akward if your really excited or scared and to show that theres a comma after your sentance..


Are you ok,

Would seem much better if it was: Are you ok?

I'm pretty sure commas or question marks can be used in this sort of situation. But from my perspective it's better to use a question mark in the “are you okay?” scenario. But that's just me.

Yeah, in all the books ive read, some people have used commas just to go on with a normal sentance, but none of the books ive read have a comma after a question or something exciting...

When you write creatively, there are always more exceptions than rules. Like in most things.