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Squiggle
So yeah i want a fresh start in the stories section. i don't know why i just do ok.. unsure.gif

So here's my debut novel (kinda)


Trollheim trouble
By Blompty2


Tarin was in a long dark chasm. Vultures circled in the air above, and distant screams were heard from high up in the mountains. Tarin ignored it and lifted his blade up. He stood there for a second, then continued to walk. He knew the treasure was here, he just knew it. All his life he had heard rumours and legends. Legends of the mysterious Troll-Blade. Legend was the Troll-blade was capable of making Trolls do the bidding of whoever held the sword. It was deemed too powerful and was locked by away by a brave bunch of Mystics and Elders. But that was only legend. So why was it that he had come all this way to the chasm? He was searching for it. As a child and teenager, he would spend his days and nights dreaming of the Troll-Blade. It kept him awake at night, thinking what great deeds he could do. Sleepless nights had made him angry and fustrated. When it had come to his training at the Knights academy in Falador, he had learnt the powers of blades, the power of bows and how to become one with the rune-stones. After four years of hard work, pain and taunt by his tutors and superiors, he wanted revenge. He would show them who is the better man. He was. He wanted the Troll-blade more than anything. He wanted to be in the history books, be part of the legends he had once heard as of a child. SMACK!

Tarin stumbled to his side. His head ached. The pain had come from the east. He turned round but before he could blink. SMACK! Another pain. He groaned in agony. Holding his head. he looked down. Rocks. ''Trolls!'' he gasped. He staggered forward. Another huge rock hit him on the foot. White hot pain singed his foot. ''AGHHH!'' he cried out. He fell on the floor with a slump. More rocks continued to land on his spine and legs. He would die here, he knew it. Tarin spotted something that could possibly help him. He crawled over. At Knight academy , he had spent hours building upper body strength and now was the time to use it. He crawled over to a piece of empty cart. More rocks started to hit the cart faster and faster . Tarin lifted the empty cart up and used it as a shield. It was simple but effective. Tarin got out his Spirit pouch and muttered some phrases. With a puff of smoke, an imp popped up. ''Imp, go to the main castle in Burthorpe. Tell them that i am in Trollheim Mountain and i need help. The Imp nodded and ran off. Tarin slumped against the wall and raised his shield, preventing another boulder slamming into his face.

A group of soliders eventually came a few hours later. They rode on White horses. The soliders raised the bows and shot a troll effortlessly. It died scaring off the other trolls. The soliders lifted Tarin off the ground and put him down on there horse. ''Rest Tarin...you have a lot of bruises. We are going to take you back to Burthorpe. Tarin nodded and he shut his eyes and rested as the white horse rode off into the sunset on its way back to Burthorpe.

Chapter two

Tarin woke up in his house. It was a small untidy shack. But it was home. His back ached from yesterdays attacks. He got up and walked to his broken window. He looked out of it and saw the paranoid citizens of Burthorpe running round gathering supplies and emergency needs incase of a Black knight or Troll attack happened. The black knights weren't a big problem as the trolls since they had trouble getting past the druids of Taverly but since the whole town was so paranoid of Trolls, the army had summoned a ridicoulously huge army on a small threat. The Trolls were a very big problem. Last winter was a very bad time for Burthorpe. Twenty-five percent of the population dying due to Troll attacks. You couldn't blame the Trolls. They were aggresive creatures the way how guthix has intended them to be. Good must be balanced out with bad. Tarin woke from his thoughts with a startle. Two guards knocked on the door.
''Open up Tarin!'' shouted one of the guards. ''Why?'' Asked Tarin. ''About yesterday..'' said the guard.

Tarin moved nervously. ''There's no need to be jumpy and nervous, Tarin. We won't hurt you.'' Announced a guard.
The other guard held out his hand. 'The names Rift.'' Tarin shook it. ''Why Rift?'' Asked Tarin.''Dont ask'' said Rift. '' Ok Tarin. I would like you to answer a few questions. They are very important questions since Trollheim Mountain is a forbidden place and is protected by the Burthorpe army unit #1. Why were you there Tarin?'' asked Rift. Tarin sighed.
''I was..i was looking for the Troll-blade..'' Said Tarin, ashamed. Rift gulped as his Conpanion laughed his head off. Rift looked angry. ''Tarin, the Troll-blade is a myth, a legend,a story created by Grandparents to amuse there children. Just because it is said does not make it true. As a responsible adult, you should know that.
Rift got up and sighed. ''Asyour reason is immature and foolish, we will let you go but, heed my warning, if the Burthorpe army ever sees you go up the mountain again. You will be brought to court. Rift opened the door and he and his companion left. Tarin got up , furious, he kicked the chair in anger.

Chapter Three
Tarin pulled his coat from his broken coat rack and stepped outside. Cold and rainy. Normal weather for Burthorpe. Right across from Tarin was the Toad and Chicken pub. Tarin always went there when he was angry, depressed or miserable as a way of dealing with it. He opened the door and his eyes took a while to adjust to the darkness of the pub. It smelt of ale and old men nursed there drinks lovingly as if it was there only possession in the world. Drunks ogled the barmaid who was more than happy to flirt. Tarin walked over to the bar and ordered an Asgranian ale. He paid the barman, Tostig, two gold pieces and took his drink. He lifted it up, paused, then drunk it in one. The warm feeling felt nice and he ordered another immediatley.

After 5 drinks later, Tarin managed to stumble out of the bar. It was the middle of the night and no one would be awake due to fear of Trolls. Suddenley, a noise came from the mountains, not Trolls but humans. Tarin wandered over to his friend, Hild's house and peeked round the corner. Guards! Tarin looked onwards. 5 guards were lined up in a line whille there leader shouted orders at them. It beacame clear to Tarin that there leader was Rift. They were standing outside the entrance to Trollhiem mountain. Tarin was slightly drunk and could not make out much but what he did hear angered him. ''Due to a various individual..well, not various..insane individual...we are guarding the mountain. If any of you are caught sleeping, you will be punished..and no wandering to that bar...'' Addresed Rift to all his soliders. ''Oh and, if Tarin ever tries to get here....arrest on sight...if there is resistance,kill on sight. I look foward to tomorrow morning sirs...goodnight and may Saradomin bless you.'' Rift seemed to wince at saying Saradomin.

Tarin ran back to his shack, cursing and swearing at Rift and his slaves...He would get the Troll-blade on top of that mountain if it was the last thing he ever did. He ran through the doorway and kicked the same chair he had kicked earlier.


Tarin wandered up to the mountain. He paused and ran foward. That was it...the Troll-blade. shining and glorious in its various colours and jewels. It was a mere inch from him. He could just about reach it...then pain..he turned round and saw Rift with his sword in the back of Tarin. Tarin screamed in agony and then terror as Rifts face started to contort into demented visions of horror. It laughed manically. Tarin escaped Rift with a huge hole in his back. Screaming in terrible pain, he fell to the floor crawling. Then Trolls started to advance onwards at him. Tall and powefrul and most of all hungry..they closed in on him and as Tarin looked at Rift. Rift was carrying the Troll- blade and giggling manically. But this was not the thing that scared Tarin..it was Rift's face..it was the face of Zamorak..


Tarin woke up in deep sweat..still middle of the night. Then Tarin came to a conclusion. To get the Troll-blade, he would have to fight Rift and his soliders but to defeat an army..he would need an army.


Chapter Four

Rift opened the door. He stood in a huge cavern decorated with candles. A red throne stood in the middle. Monks were bowed in two parallel lines chanting and weeping. Rift walked through them, appreciating the praise. He sat on the throne, gently. He smirked and, slowly, grabbed his face. He pulled half of it off to reveal, not organs or a skull, but a grey wrinkled face. Its eyes were black and beady. Rift ripped off the lower half of his face and a mouth was shown to the crowd. It had sharp teeth which were jagged. A lizard-like tongue that split in two directions. It hissed menacingly and Rift spoke. ''My followers...tonight is a time for rejoice and pleasure...Zamorak has returned!''

Tarin opened his door. It was early morning. After a night of nightmares and terrible dreams, he felt dizzy. However after the dream with Rift, he had been mentally disturbed. One human had caused him to have nightmares...he had only known the guy for a day. Tarin tried to push it to the back of his mind with breakfast.

Tarin always had breakfast in the pub. The door was open and bright light shone through the pub. Tarin walked in and looked around. The pub looked much better from last night. Four men scrawled around drinking their ales carefully. Tarin spoke to the barman and ordered an ale and Chicken leg. The pub was not called the Toad and Chicken for nothing.
Tarin drank his ale and consumed his ale. He felt refreshed and checked to make sure no soldiers were around. He went to the Barman and told him that the black cat dances in the sink. The Barman let him through to the trapdoor behind him.

Tarin climbed down the ladder and coughed at the musty air. Tarin walked out of the must and into a dim cavern. Several adventurers and Thief's stood scattered around. Some cooking, some preparing to enter the den and people like Martin Thwait who was seeing if he could steal a few thousand coins from the adventurer's pockets. ''Hello Martin!'' shouted Tarin. Martin jumped and alerted the adventurer. The adventurer punched Martin and ran into the den, angry.
Tarin laughed and Martin held his face in pain. ''Agh! that's not funny..That was Bloodvelt the merciless y'know...tough bloke...has a helm of netizinot.
''Whoop-de-doo'' said Tarin ironically.
''What dy'want Tarin?'' asked Martin
''Your help.'' replied Tarin.

Tarin sat with Martin upstairs in the pub.
''Look, I know it's rumoured but I belie'....'' But Tarin was interrupted
''No no no no no no no, I refuse to believe silly stories. I'm not doing It.'' said Martin.
''Look...The Troll-blade has amazing powers, if we found it you could make a-a-a...''
Tarin struggled to think of anything that could help Martin that had anything to do with trolls. Tarin clapped and smiled.
Martin raised an eyebrow.
''Troll slave labour. Start your own business and va-va boom. Here comes the money.''
Tarin relaxed in his chair.
''It's not the money. It's the danger. Guards all over the place, looking for the den. I owe too much money to the barkeeper, lot of troubles. It wouldn't help to get locked up and search for some namby-pamby sword, would it?
Tarin sighed.
''I didn't want to do it but well...you made me.''
Tarin lifted out his summoning scroll
Martin looked puzzled.
''An imp with a scrying orb.'' Said Tarin.''Play imp.''
A white orb flew out of the scroll and played in front of Martins eyes.
He grimaced.
''That was Thursday night...look i didn't know she was Sixteen....''
Tarin raised an eyebrow.
Martin sighed and pounded the table. ''I hate blackmail!!''
The plan is coming to fruition thought Tarin as Martin packed up his coat and got ready to leave the pub with Tarin.

Chapter Five

Tarin and Martin Thwait walked down the rocky path back to Turael's house. Tarin knocked and alost instantly, the door opened.
''Greetings.'' Said Turael. Turael was old but amazingly strong for a man of his age. Wrinkles covered his face and he seemed to have a jolly grin on his face all the time.
''I say, are'nt you that youth from up in the village?'' Asked Turael,curiously.
''Tarin.'' Said Tarin.
Turael snapped his fingers and laughed.
''Yes..Tarin..how could I forget you?'' He replied.
Tarin shook hands with Turael. Martin stuck his hand out for a handshake but Turael was already walking away.

Turael, Tarin and Martin all sat down on very comfy chairs round a roasting fireplace. The fire reflected off the many swords and medals Turael had won during his prime but now he was reduced to sitting in his nicely decorated shack and looking out of the window, stuck in nostagia.
''So , Martin, I hear your a thief...'' Asked Turael.
''Yes, I am.'' Replied Martin. ''Who did you hear that from.''
''Soliders up the road.'' Said Turael. ''Said that he would catch himlater because at the moment, he's not a big threat.''
Tarin laughed while Martin grimaced and twisted in his seat.Tarin looked at all the swords, shields and paraphernalia dotted across the walls.
''It's quite a collection.'' Annouced Tarin.
''Yes, it was a quite hard collection to build but you look at most people's collections and theirs has no thought or time made into it..i mean I knew one man who decided to keep bits of string in a match box. Call that a collection!'' Rambled Turael.
''Anyhow, I must be boring you with my silly tales of string and boxes, so what's your reason for bringing yourselves to an old mans house.''
Tarin gulped and Martin stood up and looked into the window, pretending not to hear the conversation.
''I would like you to help me find the Troll-blade, will you accept?'' Tarin got ready to be mocked and ridiculed.
''Of course.'' Said Turael.
Tarin looked up, surprised.
''Really?''
Martin turned round too, shocked.
''Why not?'' Said Turael.
Tarin grinned and slapped the old man on the back.
''Welcome to the group, Turael!''

Rift was standing upon a balcony overlooking the city of Burthorpe. He grimaced and stared as its citizens walked, carefree. Being a servant of Zamorak was not easy. First he had been raised by his violent zamorakin father and mother, sent to the Zamorak monastrey where Zamorak himself made him his servant. Before the god wars, Zamorak had decided it was best for Rift to freeze himself so when Zamorak returns, he could rise above him.
He had frequent contacts with the illegal Zamorak church east of Burthorpe. Rift stepped back into his quarters and looked into his northern window. Trollheim mountain. The next step in his evil plan. He opened the door to his quarters and left.

Chapter Six

Tarin, Martin and Turael set off back down the dusty path. slowly the dusty path turned into a mad path and soon enough, when Tarin looked back, he could no longer see Burthorpe. Martin was carrrying a huge bag on his back. Cursing and mumbling, he struggled to speak.
''Are we there yet?''
''You said that 5 minutes ago and the answer was no so what do you expect the answer to be?!'' Said Tarin.
''Erm...yes?'' Martin said, hopefully.
''Oh c'mon Martin look at you, your puny and weak, the walk will do you good.'' Said Turael. Turael was almost skipping. he looked ecstatic that he was back adventuring.

Tarin was begining to sweat. The trio had spent a good half hour walking down the muddy path. Turael was running ahead while Tarin kept a slow and steady pace while Martin lagged behind the two of them, looking like he was going to faint. Just then, a building popped up from the horizon.
''What's that?'' Said Martin.
''That my friend is the Hero's guild.'' Announced Turael. ''Founded by sveral hero's whilst I was training in the Falador knights academy, I was one of it's first members.''
The old man smiled, proudly.
As they got closer they saw that the hero's guild was truely meant for heroe's. The place was dominated by the two highest fountains Tarin had ever seen. Beautiful marigolds and roses stood in parrellel lines leading to the front door of the Heroes guild.
''Halt!!'' cried out a strong voice from behind the three. Tarin turned round and saw a large woman covered in iron armour holding up a huge broadsword.
''Be you heroe's or be you cowards.'' She said.
Martin looked at her broadsword and gulped.
''Erm...Is there a 3rd option.'' He stammered.
The woman dropped her shield and sword and ran to Turael and bowed down to his foot.
''It has come...One of the first heroe' has returned!'
She looked up at him with pride in her eyes.
Turael looked at Tarin and Martin and smiled smugly.
''Told you.'' He smirked.

A child was playing catch with his friend when there ball went over there fence into Trollheim mountain. The child bravely decided to climb the fence and get it. He got his toy box, emptied it and turned it upside down. He stood on it and clambered over the other side. He landed with a FLUMP in the snow and looked up. A shadow cast over the boy and the boy looked up. He screamed. A huge grey troll stood tall up, fangs so curled and twisted that the fangs petruded through his mouth. The child screamed as the troll lifted it up, tucked him under his arm and walked away whilst the ball lay in the snow.

Chapter Seven

''Who are you?'' Said Martin, amazed at how much praise Turael was getting.
The woman did not speak but instead bowed down faster.
Turael laughed.
''She is a Achietties tribeswoman, the last of her kind, human but primitive if you catch my meaning.''
Martin nodded.
Tarin looked at the heroes guild and asked Turael if he could go inside the hero's guild.
''No, you need to be highly experienced in combat, danger, survival skills and hunting.'' Replied Turael.
Martin puffed out his chest and laughed.
''Well, I guess it's been missing me then!''
He tried to stroll into the gates but the Tribeswoman leaped off Turaels feet and pointed her sword at Martin's chest.
''Me not let fat man inside..'' She grunted.
Martin laughed.
''Listen lady, i just want to go in.''
He put out a foot forward. It crunched on a leaf. The Tribeswoman headbutted Martin. Martin fell on the floor and skidded all the way into an nearby ivy bush. He didn't move.
Tarin looked worried.
''Is he ok?'' He asked Turael.
''Just unconcious.'' Replied Turael. The tribeswoman had gone back to kissing Turael's feet.
The tribeswoman stood up and bowed to Tarin.
''Me Achietties, me named after small fish in sea.'' She said.
''Anchovies..'' Replied Tarin.
Achietties nodded.

Martin, Tarin and Tureal all walked down the lane. Martin had a bandage on his forehead.
''Stupid tribeswoman..stupid women..shouldn't be allowed to go five feet near a sword..'' He mumbled.
Tarin looked at Martin and told him to shut up.
''I wish she would have come. The Achietties tribe were formidable foes.'' Said Turael.
''And she could have cooked us dinner.'' Mumbled Martin.
''So where to now?'' Said Tarin.
''Wizards tower would be our best bet, getting a person skilled in Rune stones would be a great possesion.'' Replied Turael.
''So what does this Troll-blade do?'' Asked Martin.'' I know it's a blade..to do with Trolls but apart fro that, i have no idea.''
''Have you ever read a book, Martin, The Troll-blade is a sword that can control trolls and make them do your bidding. Any evil person could take it and rule the whole world with it so we gotta get it quick before anyone else.'' Replied Tarin who was slightly annoyed.
''Oh..'' Said Martin.
Tarin snapped his fingers.
''Hey, look over there, If we can get that guy to join us, we'd be unstoppable.'' Annnouced Tarin.
''Who, him!'' Exclaimed Martin, shocked.
''I agree, the power of the potion comes over power of the blade.'' Said Turael.
Martin looked at Turael, annoyed.
''Please speak english instead of riddles, it's driving me crazy..'' Said Martin.
''Oh sorry.'' Replied Turael.
''Stop arguing and let's go ask him.'' Said Tarin
They slowly walked up to the bank to the strange stone formation..


Chapter Eight

Tarin, Martin and Turael all walked up the muddy bank. Then they were suddenly sent flying backwards. Tarin lost all control of his thoughts as him and his companions were sent flying through the air like a ragdoll. He landed with an almighty crash in a brown, muddy puddle of water. He spat out mud and slowly lifted himself up. He searched for Turael. He found Turael near a bush.
''Where's Martin?'' Questioned Tarin.
''I don't know, I was flying by fifty-something miles per hour just now. My back aches which is never good for a man of my age.'' Turael complained.
They heard a loud screech from behind. They turned round and saw Martin and he was in an prickle bush.
''Prickles in the groin..prickles in the groin..it hurts..'' He moaned as Tarin and Turael lifted him up slowly. After lifting Martin up, Tarin climbed the steep bank again. Turael was nursing Martin down at the bottome of the bank. Tarin got to the top of the bank and almost immediatley, his vision was blocked by thick, hazy purple smoke. Tarin coughed loudly.
''Oh, stop it guys! Stop it!.'' Said a voice that was, presumably, coming out of the purple haze. Tarin looked up, eyes watering. The purple haze as starting to clear. Tarin regained proper vision a couple of seconds later and gazed upon a man.He had grey hair, wrinkles and a long beard. His hair was shagged and he wore glasses that were propped up against his nose slightly. He had a robe with several patterns that seemed to form a snake eating it's tail. The old man looked down and held out a hand.
''I am Kaqemeex.'' He stated.

Rift was upon his balcony again. He stared at Tarin's house, then at the inn, then at Turaels hut. He spat. His fist clenched. Rift eye's started to twinkle red. A smile started to emerge from his face. He opened his hand again and gazed in it. There was no palm there, only red. Rift called a guard to hid room below. In seconds, a a guard was at the door.
''Yes sir.'' He said. He saluted at Rift. Rift called him in in.
''S-sir..'' He said, suprised.
Rift shut the door behind the guard.
''Sit down...'' Said Rift as he rolled his hands.
''Thortz.'' The guard said.
''Good, good.'' Said Rift. Then Rift's palm started to grow darker red. Rift looked at Thortz.
''I'm never sorry, it's just my beliefs.'' Stated Rift. Rifts palm grew into a firebll and he threw it at Thortz. Thortz was hit by the fireball and his face started to melt. Screaming in agony, he ran up to Rift and grabbed his collar. He screamed at Rift. Not screams of terror, screams of pain. Rift looked on, emotionless. Slowly but noisly, Thortz's voice started to fade. His face turned to skull and he flopped onto the floor, dead. Rift clicked his fingers and looked up at the sky.
''There, happy.'' He said in a fustrating tone.
The body vanished and Rift's palm started to go back to normal...

Chapter Nine

Tarin looked at Kaqemeex.
''The gas, the bubbles, th-the explosion...'' Stuttered Tarin, still shocked. Kaqemeex shuffled on the spot.
''Yeah,thats my bad, sorry. Me and my fellow druids were trying to make this sort of potion, gas thing to make future threats go away.'' Announced Kaqemeex. He coughed and looked up at the sky. Tarin raised an eyebrow. Kaqemeex looked at him and sighed.
''Look, we were trying to teach the new druid, Litmus.'' He gestured to a pimply teen behind him. ''He's new so we thought we'd show him how to make a strength potion. As you can see, it went wrong.'' Tarin looked at him, smirking.
''Ok.'' He said. He turned round and shouted at Turael and Martin to come up. About 3 seconds later, they were atop the hill. Martin looked at Kaqemeex grimly.
''So your the cause of my groin...'' He murmered, out of earshot.
''What?'' Asked Kaqemeex.
''Oh nothing, nothing.'' Said Martin. He whistled and walked over to the other side of the hill. Kaqemeex turned his gaze to Turael.
''Ah, your that famed warrior everyone talks about, well used to talk about. I suppose your on an adventure.'' Asked Kaqemeex. Turael looked offended.
''Ah yes, the druids of Guthix, yes, yes.''. Turael sucked in air through his teeth. ''Say, if there was, say, a war going on now. Y'know, ordinary warriors with there big strong maces and weapons prancing all over the place. Would you be on the battlefield fighting or would you be on this hill, making potions to aid the armies? Hmnn, I think you're not brave but cowards. Scared of an invasion, scared of everything. Y'know, I think Guthix would be ashamed of you.'' Said Turael.

Tarin, Martin and Turael were all walking on the pavement. Turael had a black eye.
''Ah. nothing like a good old fight with a bunch of cowards.'' Said Turael. Turael had a smug expression on his face.
Tarin looked at him, angry.
''But we needed one of them to make potions for us. But no,you had to go and make fun of there gods..''
''Pah, The druids and me have never gotten along nicely. They had it coming.'' Announced Turael. Martin looked at Turae and whispered.
''Yes, so killing five of them is classified as your revenge...hmnn?''
''I have my reasons.'' Replied Turael. They continued to walk. Tarin looked at the sky and it was twilight.
''Looks like we should stop here for the night and rest. Taverly looks a day away from here.''
''Agreed.'' Said Turael.
''Yeah,sure.'' Said Martin.
The group unpacked there bags. Martin pulled out an ale and started to drink. Turael got out slices of bread and shared them between the group. Tarin took and ate them, greedily. The bread was lined with garlic and other various spices. It tasted delicious and Tarin asked for more. Sure enough, Turae pulled out a whole loaf of the stuff. Before he cut it, he raised it up.
''We're going to have to get some food in Taverly tomorrow if this goes.'' He warned.
''Fine.'' Said Tarin, eager for more. He took 3 slices and ate.
''Nice..'' Asked Turael. Tarin nodded.
''It should be, I have several loafs at home. The king of Varrock gave them to me as exchange for slaying a demon that was plaguing the city.''
Martin got out a pillow and sheet.
''Night'' He said and he crashed onto the pillow. Turael and Tarin laughed heartily. Tarin yawned.
''I suppose we should be resting too,hard times wait ahead.'' Tarin exclaimed. Turael agreed and the two both slept in the wet grass.

Chapter Ten

A small child ran in a dark stony chasm. He had been running from them. He could hear them coming. They were faster than him.Tears strolled down his cheeks and flew behind him as he run. His legs started to ache but he ignored it. They were getting closer. The boy screamed and ran round a corner that ended the chasm. He stopped abruptly. A huge drop stood before him. If he had'nt stopped, he would have died. They were going to get him. The boy slumped on the ground and let his legs dangle on the cliff. Tears fell off his cheeks. They were behind him. He was hoisted up by them . They had found him and they had got him. One of them tucked him underneath their arm and plodded back to the chasm. The boy looked at the cliff. His face was emotion less.He pondered why he had not thrown himself of the cliff....

Turael woke with an scream. He hold his forehead which was stained with sweat. Panting, Turael looked at Tarin and Martin. Both sleeping like infants after todays trek. He looked up at the moon and without realising it let out a groan.
He covered his mouth. Martin snorted but did not wake. Turael looked westward and saw the outline of white wold mountain. Many a wolf lay dead on that mountain to his heroics and after some reminciscing (spelling?) fell back to slumber.

Tarin woke up, his muscles and feet ached. He crawled over to Martin who had his thumb in his mouth.
''No mummeh, meh not do that...'' He gurgled in his sleep. Tarin left him to wake up and hoisted himself up. He stretched the stretch of the white knights. He had performed this stretch almost five hundred times at the white knights acadey. It was a stretch that used every muscle in the body. Tarin did it several times before becoming exhausted. Tarin stomach ached and he remembered last nights food. Damn, he had eaten it all. He would have to go hungry until Taverly. Turael woke up. He greeted Tarin and picked up his staff that was tied to his pouch. He hit Martin with the handle of it. Martin grunted in pain. Martin woke up third. He asked for food but Tarin explained the crisis to him.
''Smart move.'' Said Martin as he packed away his blanket and pillow. Turael heaved up his bag and staff. Tarin did the same but he did not have a staff but instead reached for his blade.
''I trust you all had good sleep.'' Asked Tarin.
''Yeah'' Said Martin as he kicked a root impatiently.
''You'' Asked Tarin gesturing to Turael.
Turael looked at him and thought.
''Yes.'' He lied.
''Excellent news, now gentleman, onto Taverly.'' Announced Tarin to his group. They both set of south for Taverly in the shadow of White wolf mountain.

Chapter Eleven

The trio arrived at Taverly at noon. They were hungry and needed food.
''There's a inn over there.'' Announced Turael, pointing to an old dilapidated shack. Just then a druid peeked through the window. He looked at them with suprise and then anger.
''Erm..excuse me. Could we have..'' Asked Tarin. But the Druid shut his window with a smack. Loud noise emitted from inside the inn. The door of the inn burst open with Druids holding pitchforks and torches screaming. Tarin and Turael pulled out their swords. Tarin looked at Turael.
''This is what happens when you kill other druids.'' Said Tarin with a sigh. Martin had dissapeared, presumably out of cowardness. Turael turned to run. Tarin shouted at him to come back but forgot about his warning and ran with him too. The two ran out of Taverly, past an old witches house and jumped through the city gates. They were safe. The druids stopped suddenley at the gates and one of them spat.
''Come back into Taverly so we can rip your guts out and feed them to the dogs in the pet shop.'' Said one of the Druids.
''I need a liver for my prayer potion!'' Said one of the Druids at the back of the mob. Turael laughed and cursed Guthix. The druids were livid. One of them ran up To Turael in anger. Turael stabbed him gently with his sword . The man fell to his feet, looked up and fell to the side in a ball, dead. Blood leaked all over Tarin's shoes. Turael spat.
''Be off with you.'' He said looking at the corpse beneath him. The mob was shell shocked. They slowly dispersed. Turael kicked the corpse angrily. Tarin backed off Turael slowly.

The two set up camp, near the limits. They had shut the gates to avoid any more druids. Martin arrived whilst the sun was setting. Tarin stood up, angrily.
''Where were you.'' He shouted at Martin. ''You just run away whilst we were getting mobbed.'' Then Martin held up a bag full of meats, vegetables and ale. Tarin's anger turned into shock and a grin.
''Where'd you get all that.'' Asked Tarin, grabbing a piece of beef and gnawing greedily.
''Well, when you were being brave warriors, I nipped behind the inn and ''borrowed'' a few things if you catch my meaning. They don't call me master of thieving for nothing y'know!'' He exclaimed, bobbing an apple between his palms. Turael sat on the ground looking at a bush, emotionless.

Flames were coming. They were running away but they had left him. He tried to run after them but his little legs could not keep up. They grabbed him by the throat and pulled him on there horses. He was safe to them, but he was'nt safe. One of the flame-holders threw a knive at Pa. Pa fell back. The child screamed and cried. His father was dead. One more at his uncle. The child clutched the air, wanting time to rewind and share one last hug with his father but his father was leaking grey blood all over the rocky valley. The boy screamed as another of them were killed mercilessly. The blood splattered all over his face. He screamed.

Turael stumbled upwards and vomited. He started to run wildly, arms failing. Tarin raced to him but the old man was too fast. Martin raced after the senior too. Turael was foaming at the mouth. No more, no more he chanted manically as he ran into a valley of trees. Tarin had to do something before the man tripped and broke his ankle or leg. Tarin got a reckless but a clever idea. He pulled out his bow and arrow and aimed at Turael's leg.
''Please don't miss.'' He moaned and let go of the bow-string. Turael fell to the ground. Bullseye.

Chapter Twelve

Turael laid on the cold wet grass. It was night and the moon's radiant lights shone up their camp. Martin attended to Turael's leg wound healing it with a bandage and some nearby shrubs and roots. Tarin sat by the fire, staring into it's warm glow. The smoke hurt his eyes but he didn't move.Too deep in thoughts to react. Martin sighed and turned to Tarin's back which was faced away from him.
''Well, you'd better rest. I've done all I can possibly do. It's in the gods hands now.'' Declared Martin, gloomily.
Tarin heisistantly, laid his head on the cold wet grass and shut his eyes to face the night of nightmares that were inevitable to come.

Tarin and Martin woke early that morning, accompanied by a weakened Turael.When asked about the incident, Turael didn't respond. It seemed he had no remembrance of any of the previous evening's occurences. Tarin pushed it to the back of his mind and they set off for Falador, where they would rest for a couple of days, before heading to Draynor village, then to the highly acclamied Wizards tower.

Rift stood in the mirror, deep gashes cut into his arm. Yes, he had been cutting himself but only for the amusement of his Master. He uttered some magic words and a bowl of water on his desk started to shake. The water inside started to bubble and fizz tremedoulsy and the water became solid. By some freakish magic, the frozen water seemed to flow out of the bowl, through midair and start to form across the mirror. Rift looked at the whole occurence as if it were nothing unusual. The icey solid seemed to frost to every corner of the mirror. Finally, the wholer mirror was coated in the icy solid, that had formed into a shimmering, transparent solid where 3 figures seemed to be sitting round a campfire. Rift flinched in mental pain and uttered a few words.
''As the great master says, when the four are looking for their fourth, then there will be time to destroy.'' He uttered. He picked up his hammer , eyed one of the figures, and lifted the hammer into the mirror, smashing it into millions of tiny little pieces.


Chapter Fourteen

Tarin woke up in the middle of the night. He was sharing a room with Turael and he watched the man snore peacefully in the snug bedsheets. It was hard to believe that the same sleeping elder had killed so many and yet could sleep at night. Slowly, Tarin got out of bed and creeped over to the basin. He rubbed the sleep out of his eyes and washed his face. He though he could hear muffled giggles from Cassie's room.
Tarin chuckled.
''That'll be Martin hard at work.'' he thought as he crept back into bed.

After much tossing and turning, Tarin gave up attempting to sleep. Something was wrong and he couldn't put his finger on what it was. In the corner of the room, was a cobweb. But after further studying,he could see two red lights there. Tarin grabbed a cosmic and fire rune from his pouch next to him and uttered magic words. A light illuminated the corner of the room. Stuck in the corner of a room, like a hunter ready to pounce, was an imp. It blinked in the light and jumped at Tarin. Tarin ducked but the Imp landed on his back. Alarmed, Tarin ran as fast as he could into the bookshelf trying to knock it off. But the Imp leaped off Tarin's book before he could crush it and Tarin slammed into the bookshelf. He slumped to the floor , in shock at the creatures agile movements. It leaped onto Tarin's chest and pulled out a sharp bronze dagger. It's red eyes gleamed in madness as it raised its weapon , ready to slit Tarin's throat. Before Tarin could register the red blur that was the imp, a mithril arrow speeded across the room. It whooshed through the air and sliced the Imp's head in two. Red blood spurted all over Tarin's face and the blood filled Tarin's nostrils and mouth. Gagging, he saw the Imp's decapitated head slump onto his neck. He brushed it off and it skidded to the other side of the room, leaving a bloody trail in its path. Tarin looked sideways and saw Turael in bed, bow raised and eye's heavy.
''Huh.'' He said and fell back to sleep. Tarin looked at Turael with a glare of confusion.

It was dawn. The sun's rays beamed off the puddles of last nights rain and merchants opened their stall ready for business and the busy day that would soon come. Inside Cassi's shop, Tarin, Turael and Martin sat round the breakfast table, shovelling their mouths with meat and washing it down with a half pint of gin. Martin looked at Cassie, raising any eyebrow as if to say, ''Do you want to?'' Cassie nodded and Martin, hastily got up and excused himself. The two ran through the kitchen door and shut it with a slam. Tarin smirked as Turael face-palmed.

After breakfast, Tarin went upstairs and grabbed a mop in the upstairs cupboard. He filled a bucket of water and proceeded into the bedroom. He spotted the decapitated imp from last night and slowly cleaned up the blood and any memories of last night's occurence. Rift wanted them dead, so dead that the vultures that circled Al Karid wouldn't even touch them.
Puff Bayurhug
Interesting story. I just want to point out a few things.

There are a lot of fragments. If you have Microsoft Office type a rough draft on Word. Word can sense fragments and many mistakes and then you can copy and paste.

When a new dialogue comes skip a line. In a book each dialogue has it's own line.
Dragut
There are no fragment issues in this story. Blompty doesn't use any sentence fragments. No matter how short a sentence is, it's not a fragment as long as it has both a subject and a verb. All of the sentences here have them both. If you have specific questions I can walk you through any sentence here. As for you, Blompty, you shouldn't go for a fresh start. Be proud of the many great stories you've written, and put this one right next to them! I'm looking forward to more!
Squiggle
Glad you like it Dragut.

Heres chapter two to read happy.gif


Chapter two

Tarin woke up in his house. It was a small untidy shack. But it was home. His back ached from yesterdays attacks. He got up and walked to his broken window. He looked out of it and saw the paranoid citizens of Burthorpe running round gathering supplies and emergency needs incase of a Black knight or Troll attack happened. The black knights weren't a big problem as the trolls since they had trouble getting past the druids of Taverly but since the whole town was so paranoid of Trolls, the army had summoned a ridicoulously huge army on a small threat. The Trolls were a very big problem. Last winter was a very bad time for Burthorpe. Twenty-five percent of the population dying due to Troll attacks. You couldn't blame the Trolls. They were aggresive creatures the way how guthix has intended them to be. Good must be balanced out with bad. Tarin woke from his thoughts with a startle. Two guards knocked on the door.
''Open up Tarin!'' shouted one of the guards. ''Why?'' Asked Tarin. ''About yesterday..'' said the guard.

Tarin moved nervously. ''There's no need to be jumpy and nervous, Tarin. We won't hurt you.'' Announced a guard.
The other guard held out his hand. 'The names Rift.'' Tarin shook it. ''Why Rift?'' Asked Tarin.''Dont ask'' said Rift. '' Ok Tarin. I would like you to answer a few questions. They are very important questions since Trollheim Mountain is a forbidden place and is protected by the Burthorpe army unit #1. Why were you there Tarin?'' asked Rift. Tarin sighed.
''I was..i was looking for the Troll-blade..'' Said Tarin, ashamed. Rift gulped as his Conpanion laughed his head off. Rift looked angry. ''Tarin, the Troll-blade is a myth, a legend,a story created by Grandparents to amuse there children. Just because it is said does not make it true. As a responsible adult, you should know that.
Rift got up and sighed. ''Asyour reason is immature and foolish, we will let you go but, heed my warning, if the Burthorpe army ever sees you go up the mountain again. You will be brought to court. Rift opened the door and he and his companion left. Tarin got up , furious, he kicked the chair in anger.

To be continued holiday.gif
Puff Bayurhug
Still interesting =3 wub.gif

Btw, when I said "In a book each dialogue has it's own line." I meant this:

QUOTE
''Open up Tarin!'' shouted one of the guards.
''Why?'' Asked Tarin.
''About yesterday..'' said the guard.
Dragut
A very solid second chapter. It revealed more about Tarin, such as his lack of money, his nonconformities regarding the Troll-Blade, and his subtle edge of nervousness. He is becoming a very well-rounded character, and good characters aren't all that common there days (sadly). I was very impressed by how quickly you got out this chapter also. But, remember to look ahead farther than the next chapter, so you don't put yourself in a corner with no idea where to go, which was the fatal flaw of your great zombie story. I really love your writing style! Hoping to see more soon!
Squiggle
I merged chaper two with chapter one for easy reading.

So... lets begin happy.gif

Chapter Three

Tarin pulled his coat from his broken coat rack and stepped outside. Cold and rainy. Normal weather for Burthorpe. Right across from Tarin was the Toad and Chicken pub. Tarin always went there when he was angry, depressed or miserable as a way of dealing with it. He opened the door and his eyes took a while to adjust to the darkness of the pub. It smelt of ale and old men nursed there drinks lovingly as if it was there only possession in the world. Drunks ogled the barmaid who was more than happy to flirt. Tarin walked over to the bar and ordered an Asgranian ale. He paid the barman, Tostig, two gold pieces and took his drink. He lifted it up, paused, then drunk it in one. The warm feeling felt nice and he ordered another immediatley.

After 5 drinks later, Tarin managed to stumble out of the bar. It was the middle of the night and no one would be awake due to fear of Trolls. Suddenley, a noise came from the mountains, not Trolls but humans. Tarin wandered over to his friend, Hild's house and peeked round the corner. Guards! Tarin looked onwards. 5 guards were lined up in a line whille there leader shouted orders at them. It beacame clear to Tarin that there leader was Rift. They were standing outside the entrance to Trollhiem mountain. Tarin was slightly drunk and could not make out much but what he did hear angered him. ''Due to a various individual..well, not various..insane individual...we are guarding the mountain. If any of you are caught sleeping, you will be punished..and no wandering to that bar...'' Addresed Rift to all his soliders. ''Oh and, if Tarin ever tries to get here....arrest on sight...if there is resistance,kill on sight. I look foward to tomorrow morning sirs...goodnight and may Saradomin bless you.'' Rift seemed to wince at saying Saradomin.

Tarin ran back to his shack, cursing and swearing at Rift and his slaves...He would get the Troll-blade on top of that mountain if it was the last thing he ever did. He ran through the doorway and kicked the same chair he had kicked earlier.


Tarin wandered up to the mountain. He paused and ran foward. That was it...the Troll-blade. shining and glorious in its various colours and jewels. It was a mere inch from him. He could just about reach it...then pain..he turned round and saw Rift with his sword in the back of Tarin. Tarin screamed in agony and then terror as Rifts face started to contort into demented visions of horror. It laughed manically. Tarin escaped Rift with a huge hole in his back. Screaming in terrible pain, he fell to the floor crawling. Then Trolls started to advance onwards at him. Tall and powefrul and most of all hungry..they closed in on him and as Tarin looked at Rift. Rift was carrying the Troll- blade and giggling manically. But this was not the thing that scared Tarin..it was Rift's face..it was the face of Zamorak..



Tarin woke up in deep sweat..still middle of the night. Then Tarin came to a conclusion. To get the Troll-blade, he would have to fight Rift and his soliders but to defeat an army..he would need an army.
Dragut
Another solid, brief and quickly written chapter. And that is by not means a bad thing! It's great to be able to read another chapter every day, and it's becoming a bit of a ritual! laugh.gif Don't get disheartened by the fact that you aren't getting lots of posts, the story you're telling is very good, but some people only read stories with thousands of views. Also, this forum is currently inundated with some spam and quite a few epics.

Anyways, I really liked your sense of detail, especially in your description of the bar and its occupants. I could picture the scene as clear as day. The only thing I didn't like was the dream sequence, which seemed at first out of place, but began to make more sense. Maybe have a small transition to make it more clear that he's not still drunk in the streets.

Ok, one last thing that i normally don't worry about, but has been chronic in this story: there and their. There references a location, as in “Look up THERE, it's Superman!” And their refers to someone's property, as in “Nursing THEIR drinks.” You've been using there instead of their a lot, so you could fix that. Overall, more of the same, high quality storytelling!
Squiggle
After a couple of days break, here's a new installment. rolleyes.gif
I sure hope the blackmail bit dosen't offend anyone laugh.gif

Chapter Four

Rift opened the door. He stood in a huge cavern decorated with candles. A red throne stood in the middle. Monks were bowed in two parallel lines chanting and weeping. Rift walked through them, appreciating the praise. He sat on the throne, gently. He smirked and ,slowly, grabbed his face. He pulled half of it off to reveal, not organs or a skull, but a grey wrinkled face. It's eyes were black and beady. Rift ripped off the lower half of his face and a mouth was shown to the crowd. It had sharp teeth which were jagged. A lizard-like tounge that split in two directions. It hissed menacingly and Rift spoke. ''My followers...tonight is a time for rejoice and pleasure..Zamorak has returned!''

Tarin opened his door. It was early morning. After a night of nightmares and terrible dreams, he felt dizzy. However after the dream with Rift, he had been mentally disturbed. One human had caused him to have nightmares..he had only known the guy for a day. Tarin tried to push it to the back of his mind with breakfast.

Tarin always had breakfast in the pub. The door was open and bright light shone through the pub. Tarin walked in and looked around. The pub looked much better from last night. Four men strawled around drinking thier ales crefully. Tarin spoke to the barman and ordered an ale and Chicken leg. The pub was not called the Toad and Chicken for nothing.
Tarin drank his ale and consumed his ale. He felt refreshed and checked to make sure no soliders were around. He went to the Barman and told him taht the black cat dances in the sink. The Barman let him through to the trapdoor behind him.

Tarin cimbed down the ladder and coughed at the musty air. Tarin walked out of the must and into a dim cavern. Several adventurers and Thiefs stood scattered around. Soe cooking, some preparing to enter the den and people like Martin Thwait who was seeing if he could steal a few thousand coins from the adventurers pockets. ''Hello Martin!'' shouted Tarin. Martin jumped and alerted the adventurer. The adventurer punched Martin and ran into the den, angry.
Tarin laughed and Martin held his face in pain. ''Agh! that's not funny..That was Bloodvelt the merciless y'know..tough bloke...has a helm of netizinot.
''Whoop-de-doo'' said Tarin ironically.
''What dy'want Tarin?'' asked Martin
''Your help.'' replied Tarin.

Tarin sat with Martin upstairs in the pub.
''Look, i know it's rumored but i belie'..'' But Tarin was interrupted
''No no no no no no no no, i refuse to believe silly stories. I'm not doing it.'' said Martin.
''Look...The Troll-blade has amazing powers, if we found it you could make a-a-a...''
Tarin struggled to think of anything that could help Martin that had anything to do with trolls. Tarin clapped and smiled.
Martin raised an eyebrow.
''Troll slave labour. Start your own business and va-va boom. Here comes the money.''
Tarin relaxed in his chair.
''It's not the money.it's the danger. Guards all over the place, looking for the den. I owe too much money to the barkeeper , lot of troubles. It wouldn't help to get locked up and search for some namby-pamby sword, would it?
Tarin sighed.
''I didn't want to do it but well..you made me.''
Tarin lifted out his summoning scroll
Martin looked puzzled.
''An imp with a scrying orb.'' Said Tarin.''Play imp.''
A white orb flew out of the scroll and played in front of Martins eyes.
He grimaced.
''That was Thursday night..look i didn't know she was Sixteen..''
Tarin raised an eyebrow.
Martin sighed and pounded the table. ''I hate blackmail!!''
the plan is coing to fruition thought Tarin as Martin packed up his coat and got ready to leave the pub with Tarin.
Dragut
Ahhh. I'm glad to be back in the world of trolls and swords again. This was an even better than usual chapter, with blackmail, thieves, and namby-pamby swords! I really like how you bring a subtle sense of humour through your characters, but keep silliness out of your narration. This makes it both easy to read as well as funny. I did notice one easily fixed typo, though. You wrote that he “Drank his ALE and consumed his ALE” Instead of mentioning his eating of the chicken leg. I just wanted to say sorry for the brutality with which I reviewed your story “Infinite Noobs” although I still think this story is quite a bit better, I said a couple of pretty rude things, like suggesting that you should close it, which, in retrospect, was uncalled for. My most sincere apologies, and the best of luck.
Squiggle
So here's Chapter five
(don't worry about infinte noob story Dragut, i'm more concerned on this right now. cool.gif )


Chapter Five
Tarin and Martin Thwait walked down the rocky path back to Turael's house. Tarin knocked and alost instantly, the door opened.
''Greetings.'' Said Turael. Turael was old but amazingly strong for a man of his age. Wrinkles covered his face and he seemed to have a jolly grin on his face all the time.
''I say, are'nt you that youth from up in the village?'' Asked Turael,curiously.
''Tarin.'' Said Tarin.
Turael snapped his fingers and laughed.
''Yes..Tarin..how could I forget you?'' He replied.
Tarin shook hands with Turael. Martin stuck his hand out for a handshake but Turael was already walking away.

Turael, Tarin and Martin all sat down on very comfy chairs round a roasting fireplace. The fire reflected off the many swords and medals Turael had won during his prime but now he was reduced to sitting in his nicely decorated shack and looking out of the window, stuck in nostagia.
''So , Martin, I hear your a thief...'' Asked Turael.
''Yes, I am.'' Replied Martin. ''Who did you hear that from.''
''Soliders up the road.'' Said Turael. ''Said that he would catch himlater because at the moment, he's not a big threat.''
Tarin laughed while Martin grimaced and twisted in his seat.Tarin looked at all the swords, shields and paraphernalia dotted across the walls.
''It's quite a collection.'' Annouced Tarin.
''Yes, it was a quite hard collection to build but you look at most people's collections and theirs has no thought or time made into it..i mean I knew one man who decided to keep bits of string in a match box. Call that a collection!'' Rambled Turael.
''Anyhow, I must be boring you with my silly tales of string and boxes, so what's your reason for bringing yourselves to an old mans house.''
Tarin gulped and Martin stood up and looked into the window, pretending not to hear the conversation.
''I would like you to help me find the Troll-blade, will you accept?'' Tarin got ready to be mocked and ridiculed.
''Of course.'' Said Turael.
Tarin looked up, surprised.
''Really?''
Martin turned round too, shocked.
''Why not?'' Said Turael.
Tarin grinned and slapped the old man on the back.
''Welcome to the group, Turael!''

Rift was standing upon a balcony overlooking the city of Burthorpe. He grimaced and stared as its citizens walked, carefree. Being a servant of Zamorak was not easy. First he had been raised by his violent zamorakin father and mother, sent to the Zamorak monastrey where Zamorak himself made him his servant. Before the god wars, Zamorak had decided it was best for Rift to freeze himself so when Zamorak returns, he could rise above him.
He had frequent contacts with the illegal Zamorak church east of Burthorpe. Rift stepped back into his quarters and looked into his northern window. Trollheim mountain. The next step in his evil plan. He opened the door to his quarters and left.

Gijeff890
Nice, however there are some things you have to work on. I might get a quote as soon as I find it however I have to admit, Blompty - this is MUCH better then 'The Infinite noobs' or whatever. Your chapters are rather jumbled up. Instead of posting your chapter AND editing your first post, just type your chapters in a word prosessor, and then copy and paste that into your first post. I got rather confused though. Ratings, however:

8/10 (plot)

7/10 (spelling, I saw a few un capital 'i's and a few others. I might get a quote later.)

ice.gif
Dragut
This addition to your story was as great as usual. I really liked how you fleshed out Turael as a real person, especially with how little official runescape lore, if any, talks about the slayer masters as real people.

Another nice aspect is how the excitement in this story is constantly building. I'm dying to find out how Rift plans to help Zamorak by finding the Troll blade, or by stopping Tarin from finding it. Also, the sense of realism brought on by showing Tarin's search for allies adds lots of gravity to the story. I'm dying to read more!
Squiggle
Chapter Six

Tarin, Martin and Turael set off back down the dusty path. slowly the dusty path turned into a mad path and soon enough, when Tarin looked back, he could no longer see Burthorpe. Martin was carrrying a huge bag on his back. Cursing and mumbling, he struggled to speak.
''Are we there yet?''
''You said that 5 minutes ago and the answer was no so what do you expect the answer to be?!'' Said Tarin.
''Erm...yes?'' Martin said, hopefully.
''Oh c'mon Martin look at you, your puny and weak, the walk will do you good.'' Said Turael. Turael was almost skipping. he looked ecstatic that he was back adventuring.

Tarin was begining to sweat. The trio had spent a good half hour walking down the muddy path. Turael was running ahead while Tarin kept a slow and steady pace while Martin lagged behind the two of them, looking like he was going to faint. Just then, a building popped up from the horizon.
''What's that?'' Said Martin.
''That my friend is the Hero's guild.'' Announced Turael. ''Founded by sveral hero's whilst I was training in the Falador knights academy, I was one of it's first members.''
The old man smiled, proudly.
As they got closer they saw that the hero's guild was truely meant for heroe's. The place was dominated by the two highest fountains Tarin had ever seen. Beautiful marigolds and roses stood in parrellel lines leading to the front door of the Heroes guild.
''Halt!!'' cried out a strong voice from behind the three. Tarin turned round and saw a large woman covered in iron armour holding up a huge broadsword.
''Be you heroe's or be you cowards.'' She said.
Martin looked at her broadsword and gulped.
''Erm...Is there a 3rd option.'' He stammered.
The woman dropped her shield and sword and ran to Turael and bowed down to his foot.
''It has come...One of the first heroe' has returned!'
She looked up at him with pride in her eyes.
Turael looked at Tarin and Martin and smiled smugly.
''Told you.'' He smirked.

A child was playing catch with his friend when there ball went over there fence into Trollheim mountain. The child bravely decided to climb the fence and get it. He got his toy box, emptied it and turned it upside down. He stood on it and clambered over the other side. He landed with a FLUMP in the snow and looked up. A shadow cast over the boy and the boy looked up. He screamed. A huge grey troll stood tall up, fangs so curled and twisted that the fangs petruded through his mouth. The child screamed as the troll lifted it up, tucked him under his arm and walked away whilst the ball lay in the snow.

(The last paragraph is not random but a very important thing to do with the plot. You'll never guess where it's going.)
Finway
To spice things up a bit (for no particular reason), I'm going to point out the technical/grammatical errors and typos first.

QUOTE
He turned round but before he could blink. SMACK! Another pain. He groaned in agony. Holding his head. he looked down. Rocks.

The use of the word "Smack" is a bit too out-of-touch with this story, seeing as it is Runescape-based dramatic/action story (or so it appears from what I've read). The way you just say "SMACK!" makes the mood seem temporarily comical, so I think you should change it something like "Suddenly, a sharp pain struck Tarin's skull," or something similar.

QUOTE
Tarin got out his Spirit pouch and muttered some phrases. With a puff of smoke, an imp popped up. ''Imp, go to the main castle in Burthorpe. Tell them that i am in Trollheim Mountain and i need help. The Imp nodded and ran off. Tarin slumped against the wall and raised his shield, preventing another boulder slamming into his face.

Although it's perfectly acceptable to have an Imp do his bidding (since Tarin was the one who summoned it), I would recommend that you change it to something else. This is because he trained to become a warrior at Falador, a heavily Saradomin town (the White Knights and Temple Knights both are there to do his bidding). But this is really up to you.

Another small problem is that you have is that you make it seem like Burthorpe is just another city in Asgarnia (ruled by Falador), but that's not the case, at least not in the game. Burthorpe in particular resents Falador's rule over Asgarnia because the White Knights have too much of an 'influence' on the elderly king, and the prince lives in Burthrorpe. A person from Falador, particularly a white knight, would be treated with much hostility.

You also should remember to start each dialogue with a new paragraph, such as this:
"Hello," said person one.
"How are you?" asked person two.
Not like this:
"Hello," said person one. "How are you?" asked person two.

It makes the dialogue so much clearer and less confusing. In your writing style, you tend to make many sentence fragments (not real sentences). Although it depends on the writing style, I recommend that you change this. Once again, it's really up to you.

Also, you say that it would be hard for the Black Knights to get past the Druids of Taverly, but I don't understand why. The druids are pacifists of Guthix and don't fight. slanty.gif

QUOTE
5 guards were lined up in a line whille there leader shouted orders at them

"5" should be "five," and "there" should be "their."

QUOTE
Tarin wandered up to the mountain. He paused and ran foward. That was it...the Troll-blade. shining and glorious in its various colours and jewels. It was a mere inch from him. He could just about reach it...then pain..he turned round and saw Rift with his sword in the back of Tarin. Tarin screamed in agony and then terror as Rifts face started to contort into demented visions of horror. It laughed manically. Tarin escaped Rift with a huge hole in his back. Screaming in terrible pain, he fell to the floor crawling. Then Trolls started to advance onwards at him. Tall and powefrul and most of all hungry..they closed in on him and as Tarin looked at Rift. Rift was carrying the Troll- blade and giggling manically. But this was not the thing that scared Tarin..it was Rift's face..it was the face of Zamorak..

You might want to make it clearer that this is a dream, not reality.

QUOTE
Monks were bowed in two parallel lines chanting and weeping.

There should be a comma after "lines," and consider changing the word "and" to "or."

QUOTE
Several adventurers and Thief’s stood scattered around.

"Thief's" should be "thieves."

QUOTE
''Agh! that's not funny..That was Bloodvelt the merciless y'know...tough bloke...has a helm of netizinot.

Remember to put quotation marks at the end, but what bugs me even more is that he says "...has a helm of Netizinot." (should be capitalized, by the way.) It shouldn't be a helm (helmet would be better) of Netizinot, it should be the helm(et) of Netizinot. Just saying that '...has a helm of netizinot" MSLAGs very much.

QUOTE
''That was Thursday night...look i didn't know she was Sixteen....’’

"Sixteen" shouldn't be capitalized.

QUOTE
The plan is coming to fruition thought Tarin as Martin packed up his coat and got ready to leave the pub with Tarin.

Is that a word? unsure.gif Either way, a comma should be placed afterwards. Another little bit of advice would be to put a person's thoughts in italics. It makes them seem much more clearer and distinguished.

QUOTE
Wrinkles covered his face and he seemed to have a jolly grin on his face all the time.

The word "face" is repeated. Try to change the wording up a bit.

QUOTE
''Yes, it was a quite hard collection to build but you look at most people's collections and theirs has no thought or time made into it..i mean I knew one man who decided to keep bits of string in a match box. Call that a collection!'' Rambled Turael.
''Anyhow, I must be boring you with my silly tales of string and boxes, so what's your reason for bringing yourselves to an old mans house.''

The "i" should be capitalized (I bolded it for you). Also, you can make all of this into one paragraph, since it's only Turael speaking.

Now that those technical errors are taken care of, I can talk about the plot and the characters. First off, I have to admit that you start off this story in a very interesting and original manner. Most stories like this have a person saying "Alright, I need to get a group together to get Object A," but you start out by Tarin going to the mountain, getting caught, and then realizing that he needs a group. The Troll-Blade idea is new and original. My only further recomendation for you on the storyline is that you use already in-game ideas instead of presenting new ones. That way, your version of Runescape isn't foreign to the reader.

There is only one character who, after reading the first five chapters, I feel as if he'd had adequate time to develop. That would be the protaganist, Tarin. His character development already has had a given boost since he came to the realization that he needed an 'army' (a group or fellowship, more or less) to get past Rift and his cronies, not to mention the deadly trolls themselves.

Overall, this story looks like it will flow very nicely, minus a few small technical errors. I will be staying tuned for more.
Squiggle
Thanks for all the help finway! biggrin.gif
Finway
Anytime. I just read your sixth chapter, and it definitely added a bit of lightheartedness to the story. There were a few places where a comma could be added (half the time I don't even think they were necesary), but one thing really stood out for me in this paragraph:
QUOTE
A child was playing catch with his friend when there ball went over there fence into Trollheim mountain. The child bravely decided to climb the fence and get it. He got his toy box, emptied it and turned it upside down. He stood on it and clambered over the other side. He landed with a FLUMP in the snow and looked up. A shadow cast over the boy and the boy looked up. He screamed. A huge grey troll stood tall up, fangs so curled and twisted that the fangs petruded through his mouth. The child screamed as the troll lifted it up, tucked him under his arm and walked away whilst the ball lay in the snow.

The fact that a ball went over a fence into Trollheim Mountain (remember to capitalize "Mountain" when talking about it in a title) makes it seem very kid-ish, like in the Sandlot, if you've ever seen that movie. Maybe make it that the ball rolled too close to the mountain's base, but just having a fence between where little kid's play catch and where dangerous trolls live is a bit much for me.
Fire_L
Interesting, I look forward to seeing how Tarin, Turael, and Martin's adventure maps out as Rift's sinister plans unfold.
Squiggle
Chapter Seven

''Who are you?'' Said Martin, amazed at how much praise Turael was getting.
The woman did not speak but instead bowed down faster.
Turael laughed.
''She is a Achietties tribeswoman, the last of her kind, human but primitive if you catch my meaning.''
Martin nodded.
Tarin looked at the heroes guild and asked Turael if he could go inside the hero's guild.
''No, you need to be highly experienced in combat, danger, survival skills and hunting.'' Replied Turael.
Martin puffed out his chest and laughed.
''Well, I guess it's been missing me then!''
He tried to stroll into the gates but the Tribeswoman leaped off Turaels feet and pointed her sword at Martin's chest.
''Me not let fat man inside..'' She grunted.
Martin laughed.
''Listen lady, i just want to go in.''
He put out a foot forward. It crunched on a leaf. The Tribeswoman headbutted Martin. Martin fell on the floor and skidded all the way into an nearby ivy bush. He didn't move.
Tarin looked worried.
''Is he ok?'' He asked Turael.
''Just unconcious.'' Replied Turael. The tribeswoman had gone back to kissing Turael's feet.
The tribeswoman stood up and bowed to Tarin.
''Me Achietties, me named after small fish in sea.'' She said.
''Anchovies..'' Replied Tarin.
Achietties nodded.

Martin, Tarin and Tureal all walked down the lane. Martin had a bandage on his forehead.
''Stupid tribeswoman..stupid women..shouldn't be allowed to go five feet near a sword..'' He mumbled.
Tarin looked at Martin and told him to shut up.
''I wish she would have come. The Achietties tribe were formidable foes.'' Said Turael.
''And she could have cooked us dinner.'' Mumbled Martin.
''So where to now?'' Said Tarin.
''Wizards tower would be our best bet, getting a person skilled in Rune stones would be a great possesion.'' Replied Turael.
''So what does this Troll-blade do?'' Asked Martin.'' I know it's a blade..to do with Trolls but apart fro that, i have no idea.''
''Have you ever read a book, Martin, The Troll-blade is a sword that can control trolls and make them do your bidding. Any evil person could take it and rule the whole world with it so we gotta get it quick before anyone else.'' Replied Tarin who was slightly annoyed.
''Oh..'' Said Martin.
Tarin snapped his fingers.
''Hey, look over there, If we can get that guy to join us, we'd be unstoppable.'' Annnouced Tarin.
''Who, him!'' Exclaimed Martin, shocked.
''I agree, the power of the potion comes over power of the blade.'' Said Turael.
Martin looked at Turael, annoyed.
''Please speak english instead of riddles, it's driving me crazy..'' Said Martin.
''Oh sorry.'' Replied Turael.
''Stop arguing and let's go ask him.'' Said Tarin
They slowly walked up to the bank to the strange stone formation..
Dragut
That was yet another great installment. This one had great comic relief in the form of Martin's womanizing. Another great part is at the end, where they all see... Someone, and the reader is left in the dark with a cliffhanger ending. Your writing is very similar to the dialog in Runescape itself, and so is your style of humour, so Runescape stories suit you. Can't wait for more!
Squiggle
Sorry for the long wait!
Here's chapter eight

Chapter Eight
Tarin, Martin and Turael all walked up the muddy bank. Then they were suddenly sent flying backwards. Tarin lost all control of his thoughts as him and his companions were sent flying through the air like a ragdoll. He landed with an almighty crash in a brown, muddy puddle of water. He spat out mud and slowly lifted himself up. He searched for Turael. He found Turael near a bush.
''Where's Martin?'' Questioned Tarin.
''I don't know, I was flying by fifty-something miles per hour just now. My back aches which is never good for a man of my age.'' Turael complained.
They heard a loud screech from behind. They turned round and saw Martin and he was in an prickle bush.
''Prickles in the groin..prickles in the groin..it hurts..'' He moaned as Tarin and Turael lifted him up slowly. After lifting Martin up, Tarin climbed the steep bank again. Turael was nursing Martin down at the bottome of the bank. Tarin got to the top of the bank and almost immediatley, his vision was blocked by thick, hazy purple smoke. Tarin coughed loudly.
''Oh, stop it guys! Stop it!.'' Said a voice that was, presumably, coming out of the purple haze. Tarin looked up, eyes watering. The purple haze as starting to clear. Tarin regained proper vision a couple of seconds later and gazed upon a man.He had grey hair, wrinkles and a long beard. His hair was shagged and he wore glasses that were propped up against his nose slightly. He had a robe with several patterns that seemed to form a snake eating it's tail. The old man looked down and held out a hand.
''I am Kaqemeex.'' He stated.

Rift was upon his balcony again. He stared at Tarin's house, then at the inn, then at Turaels hut. He spat. His fist clenched. Rift eye's started to twinkle red. A smile started to emerge from his face. He opened his hand again and gazed in it. There was no palm there, only red. Rift called a guard to hid room below. In seconds, a a guard was at the door.
''Yes sir.'' He said. He saluted at Rift. Rift called him in in.
''S-sir..'' He said, suprised.
Rift shut the door behind the guard.
''Sit down...'' Said Rift as he rolled his hands.
''Thortz.'' The guard said.
''Good, good.'' Said Rift. Then Rift's palm started to grow darker red. Rift looked at Thortz.
''I'm never sorry, it's just my beliefs.'' Stated Rift. Rifts palm grew into a firebll and he threw it at Thortz. Thortz was hit by the fireball and his face started to melt. Screaming in agony, he ran up to Rift and grabbed his collar. He screamed at Rift. Not screams of terror, screams of pain. Rift looked on, emotionless. Slowly but noisly, Thortz's voice started to fade. His face turned to skull and he flopped onto the floor, dead. Rift clicked his fingers and looked up at the sky.
''There, happy.'' He said in a fustrating tone.
The body vanished and Rift's palm started to go back to normal...

Post what you think wub.gif
Dragut
laugh.gif I'm glad you're back! That was a good, but not great chapter. First of all, there were several mistakes such as the use of shagged (not a word. Use shaggy or ragged) and your description of Rift as annoying, when you probably meant annoyed. Also, very little happened to move the plot forward apart from meeting Mr. Cake Mix or whatever his name is. aware.gif But still, it was funny and fun, (Thorns to the groin. Ouch.) I'm ready for chapter nine!
Squiggle
Aww...good, not great. Lets change that . ice.gif

Chapter Nine#

Tarin looked at Kaqemeex.
''The gas, the bubbles, th-the explosion...'' Stuttered Tarin, still shocked. Kaqemeex shuffled on the spot.
''Yeah,thats my bad, sorry. Me and my fellow druids were trying to make this sort of potion, gas thing to make future threats go away.'' Announced Kaqemeex. He coughed and looked up at the sky. Tarin raised an eyebrow. Kaqemeex looked at him and sighed.
''Look, we were trying to teach the new druid, Litmus.'' He gestured to a pimply teen behind him. ''He's new so we thought we'd show him how to make a strength potion. As you can see, it went wrong.'' Tarin looked at him, smirking.
''Ok.'' He said. He turned round and shouted at Turael and Martin to come up. About 3 seconds later, they were atop the hill. Martin looked at Kaqemeex grimly.
''So your the cause of my groin...'' He murmered, out of earshot.
''What?'' Asked Kaqemeex.
''Oh nothing, nothing.'' Said Martin. He whistled and walked over to the other side of the hill. Kaqemeex turned his gaze to Turael.
''Ah, your that famed warrior everyone talks about, well used to talk about. I suppose your on an adventure.'' Asked Kaqemeex. Turael looked offended.
''Ah yes, the druids of Guthix, yes, yes.''. Turael sucked in air through his teeth. ''Say, if there was, say, a war going on now. Y'know, ordinary warriors with there big strong maces and weapons prancing all over the place. Would you be on the battlefield fighting or would you be on this hill, making potions to aid the armies? Hmnn, I think you're not brave but cowards. Scared of an invasion, scared of everything. Y'know, I think Guthix would be ashamed of you.'' Said Turael.

Tarin, Martin and Turael were all walking on the pavement. Turael had a black eye.
''Ah. nothing like a good old fight with a bunch of cowards.'' Said Turael. Turael had a smug expression on his face.
Tarin looked at him, angry.
''But we needed one of them to make potions for us. But no,you had to go and make fun of there gods..''
''Pah, The druids and me have never gotten along nicely. They had it coming.'' Announced Turael. Martin looked at Turae and whispered.
''Yes, so killing five of them is classified as your revenge...hmnn?''
''I have my reasons.'' Replied Turael. They continued to walk. Tarin looked at the sky and it was twilight.
''Looks like we should stop here for the night and rest. Taverly looks a day away from here.''
''Agreed.'' Said Turael.
''Yeah,sure.'' Said Martin.
The group unpacked there bags. Martin pulled out an ale and started to drink. Turael got out slices of bread and shared them between the group. Tarin took and ate them, greedily. The bread was lined with garlic and other various spices. It tasted delicious and Tarin asked for more. Sure enough, Turae pulled out a whole loaf of the stuff. Before he cut it, he raised it up.
''We're going to have to get some food in Taverly tomorrow if this goes.'' He warned.
''Fine.'' Said Tarin, eager for more. He took 3 slices and ate.
''Nice..'' Asked Turael. Tarin nodded.
''It should be, I have several loafs at home. The king of Varrock gave them to me as exchange for slaying a demon that was plaguing the city.''
Martin got out a pillow and sheet.
''Night'' He said and he crashed onto the pillow. Turael and Tarin laughed heartily. Tarin yawned.
''I suppose we should be resting too,hard times wait ahead.'' Tarin exclaimed. Turael agreed and the two both slept in the wet grass.

To be continued... happy.gif
Dragut
This chapter was far better than the previous one, with plot movements, great comic relief, and the same semirandom adventure feeling of previous chapters. One thing I've noticed, which is very cool, is that your writing has totally changed while writing this story. At the beginning the story appeared to be heading towards the gore, action, and violence of your earlier works, but, although you were a great writer with gory details, you've now proven yourself as an excellent humourist. But your humour retains the violence of your earlier writing and turns slapstick. For example, Martin getting hit in the groin by a thornbush, or Turael “not getting along nicely” with the druids would seem cheap or ridiculous written by someone else, but you give it its own special spin, that makes it fresh again. All in all, an excellent chapter, I can't complain at all!
Squiggle
Lol when i clicked on the topic it had 666 views evil.gif Seems Dragut is the only one reading. cry.gif oh well...

Chapter Ten
A small child ran in a dark stony chasm. He had been running from them. He could hear them coming. They were faster than him.Tears strolled down his cheeks and flew behind him as he run. His legs started to ache but he ignored it. They were getting closer. The boy screamed and ran round a corner that ended the chasm. He stopped abruptly. A huge drop stood before him. If he had'nt stopped, he would have died. They were going to get him. The boy slumped on the ground and let his legs dangle on the cliff. Tears fell off his cheeks. They were behind him. He was hoisted up by them . They had found him and they had got him. One of them tucked him underneath their arm and plodded back to the chasm. The boy looked at the cliff. His face was emotion less.He pondered why he had not thrown himself of the cliff....

Turael woke with an scream. He hold his forehead which was stained with sweat. Panting, Turael looked at Tarin and Martin. Both sleeping like infants after todays trek. He looked up at the moon and without realising it let out a groan.
He covered his mouth. Martin snorted but did not wake. Turael looked westward and saw the outline of white wold mountain. Many a wolf lay dead on that mountain to his heroics and after some reminciscing (spelling?) fell back to slumber.

Tarin woke up, his muscles and feet ached. He crawled over to Martin who had his thumb in his mouth.
''No mummeh, meh not do that...'' He gurgled in his sleep. Tarin left him to wake up and hoisted himself up. He stretched the stretch of the white knights. He had performed this stretch almost five hundred times at the white knights acadey. It was a stretch that used every muscle in the body. Tarin did it several times before becoming exhausted. Tarin stomach ached and he remembered last nights food. Damn, he had eaten it all. He would have to go hungry until Taverly. Turael woke up. He greeted Tarin and picked up his staff that was tied to his pouch. He hit Martin with the handle of it. Martin grunted in pain. Martin woke up third. He asked for food but Tarin explained the crisis to him.
''Smart move.'' Said Martin as he packed away his blanket and pillow. Turael heaved up his bag and staff. Tarin did the same but he did not have a staff but instead reached for his blade.
''I trust you all had good sleep.'' Asked Tarin.
''Yeah'' Said Martin as he kicked a root impatiently.
''You'' Asked Tarin gesturing to Turael.
Turael looked at him and thought.
''Yes.'' He lied.
''Excellent news, now gentleman, onto Taverly.'' Announced Tarin to his group. They both set of south for Taverly in the shadow of White wolf mountain.

Dragut
Wow, 666 views, and it's only me... Dammit, i'm the devil. Sorry. Personally I think others are reading, just not posting,

Chapter 10 was definitely good. I loved how you referenced the child who followed his ball over a fence in an earlier chapter. But, that makes me wonder what sorts of powers Turael has. Is he prophetic? The dream sequence as a whole was very good because it was clear how terrible the trolls are when the young boy considers suicide. Good luck on chapter 11!
Squiggle
Chapter Eleven

The trio arrived at Taverly at noon. They were hungry and needed food.
''There's a inn over there.'' Announced Turael, pointing to an old dilapidated shack. Just then a druid peeked through the window. He looked at them with suprise and then anger.
''Erm..excuse me. Could we have..'' Asked Tarin. But the Druid shut his window with a smack. Loud noise emitted from inside the inn. The door of the inn burst open with Druids holding pitchforks and torches screaming. Tarin and Turael pulled out their swords. Tarin looked at Turael.
''This is what happens when you kill other druids.'' Said Tarin with a sigh. Martin had dissapeared, presumably out of cowardness. Turael turned to run. Tarin shouted at him to come back but forgot about his warning and ran with him too. The two ran out of Taverly, past an old witches house and jumped through the city gates. They were safe. The druids stopped suddenley at the gates and one of them spat.
''Come back into Taverly so we can rip your guts out and feed them to the dogs in the pet shop.'' Said one of the Druids.
''I need a liver for my prayer potion!'' Said one of the Druids at the back of the mob. Turael laughed and cursed Guthix. The druids were livid. One of them ran up To Turael in anger. Turael stabbed him gently with his sword . The man fell to his feet, looked up and fell to the side in a ball, dead. Blood leaked all over Tarin's shoes. Turael spat.
''Be off with you.'' He said looking at the corpse beneath him. The mob was shell shocked. They slowly dispersed. Turael kicked the corpse angrily. Tarin backed off Turael slowly.

The two set up camp, near the limits. They had shut the gates to avoid any more druids. Martin arrived whilst the sun was setting. Tarin stood up, angrily.
''Where were you.'' He shouted at Martin. ''You just run away whilst we were getting mobbed.'' Then Martin held up a bag full of meats, vegetables and ale. Tarin's anger turned into shock and a grin.
''Where'd you get all that.'' Asked Tarin, grabbing a piece of beef and gnawing greedily.
''Well, when you were being brave warriors, I nipped behind the inn and ''borrowed'' a few things if you catch my meaning. They don't call me master of thieving for nothing y'know!'' He exclaimed, bobbing an apple between his palms. Turael sat on the ground looking at a bush, emotionless.

Flames were coming. They were running away but they had left him. He tried to run after them but his little legs could not keep up. They grabbed him by the throat and pulled him on there horses. He was safe to them, but he was'nt safe. One of the flame-holders threw a knive at Pa. Pa fell back. The child screamed and cried. His father was dead. One more at his uncle. The child clutched the air, wanting time to rewind and share one last hug with his father but his father was leaking grey blood all over the rocky valley. The boy screamed as another of them were killed mercilessly. The blood splattered all over his face. He screamed.

Turael stumbled upwards and vomited. He started to run wildly, arms failing. Tarin raced to him but the old man was too fast. Martin raced after the senior too. Turael was foaming at the mouth. No more, no more he chanted manically as he ran into a valley of trees. Tarin had to do something before the man tripped and broke his ankle or leg. Tarin got a reckless but a clever idea. He pulled out his bow and arrow and aimed at Turael's leg.
''Please don't miss.'' He moaned and let go of the bow-string. Turael fell to the ground. Bullseye.
Dragut
That was good. I'm glad that you managed to keep this story going along with your other one in The Library.

There was a lot to like about this installment, but it did have its flaws. Some good things were Martin not being useless and the ongoing argument with the druids. (I'm not so sure that guthix would want them to form pitchfork-wielding mobs aware.gif) But the notable flaw of this chapter was the clarity. The dream sequence was especially bad, because you used “they” and “them” to refer to both groups in the conflict, and it took me 3 readings of that part to understand. And as for my previous comment about Turael being a prophet, I've changed my mind. I think he is the child in the dreams, or shall I say, memories? ohmy.gif
Good luck on writing the newest chapter!
Guitarguy
Nice, I read every chapter and enjoyed it. I can't wait for more.

Up to the part before they decide to go to the wizard's tower, I thought you were going to copy off of "dungeons and dragons" where the team is made up of the main warrior guy, a thief, a wizard, and the other people. Lol it seemed very similar to it.

Overall, I think the basic storyline is rather orginal (There's rumors of some sword, and some underdawg tries to get it), but you told the in-depth story pretty nicely
Squiggle
Oh, major epic bump. It's a new chapter though. tongue.gif Also Dragut, the scene is meant to confuse you.

Chapter Twelve
Turael laid on the cold wet grass. It was night and the moon's radiant lights shone up their camp. Martin attended to Turael's leg wound healing it with a bandage and some nearby shrubs and roots. Tarin sat by the fire, staring into it's warm glow. The smoke hurt his eyes but he didn't move.Too deep in thoughts to react. Martin sighed and turned to Tarin's back which was faced away from him.
''Well, you'd better rest. I've done all I can possibly do. It's in the gods hands now.'' Declared Martin, gloomily.
Tarin heisistantly, laid his head on the cold wet grass and shut his eyes to face the night of nightmares that were inevitable to come.

Tarin and Martin woke early that morning, accompanied by a weakened Turael.When asked about the incident, Turael didn't respond. It seemed he had no remembrance of any of the previous evening's occurences. Tarin pushed it to the back of his mind and they set off for Falador, where they would rest for a couple of days, before heading to Draynor village, then to the highly acclamied Wizards tower.

Rift stood in the mirror, deep gashes cut into his arm. Yes, he had been cutting himself but only for the amusement of his Master. He uttered some magic words and a bowl of water on his desk started to shake. The water inside started to bubble and fizz tremedoulsy and the water became solid. By some freakish magic, the frozen water seemed to flow out of the bowl, through midair and start to form across the mirror. Rift looked at the whole occurence as if it were nothing unusual. The icey solid seemed to frost to every corner of the mirror. Finally, the wholer mirror was coated in the icy solid, that had formed into a shimmering, transparent solid where 3 figures seemed to be sitting round a campfire. Rift flinched in mental pain and uttered a few words.
''As the great master says, when the four are looking for their fourth, then there will be time to destroy.'' He uttered. He picked up his hammer , eyed one of the figures, and lifted the hammer into the mirror, smashing it into millions of tiny little pieces.


Dragut
This is getting really awesome! Don't you dare stop now, because I'm really becoming interested in whats going on. Your previous few chapters have gotten slower and more cryptic though, so remember to retain some action every chapter! Good luck!
Squiggle
QUOTE (Dragut @ May 25 2009, 03:00 AM) *
This is getting really awesome! Don't you dare stop now, because I'm really becoming interested in whats going on. Your previous few chapters have gotten slower and more cryptic though, so remember to retain some action every chapter! Good luck!


Biggest compliement ive gotten all day. tongue.gif
Whilst your here, can you review my story, Glow of zamorak. It's real good in my opinion and no ones posted yet. dry.gif
Dragut
QUOTE (Squiggle @ May 25 2009, 03:54 AM) *
QUOTE (Dragut @ May 25 2009, 03:00 AM) *
This is getting really awesome! Don't you dare stop now, because I'm really becoming interested in whats going on. Your previous few chapters have gotten slower and more cryptic though, so remember to retain some action every chapter! Good luck!


Biggest compliement ive gotten all day. tongue.gif
Whilst your here, can you review my story, Glow of zamorak. It's real good in my opinion and no ones posted yet. dry.gif

Yeah I will. I was going to yesterday, but my girlfriend called me and had a bit of an emotional breakdown, so I didn't feel like reading anymore.
Squiggle
Aw. that's sad to hear Dragut.

Anyways
Onto Chapter (scrolls down to see what chapter we're on)..Thirteen.

Chapter thirteen

''I'm telling you, dog's can't look up.'' Shouted Martin as the trio plodded down the cracked and dirty road.
''Yes, they most certainly can.'' Said Turael. Tarin felt calm and reassured as Turael spoke and was shocked at how he had been entranced by his words.
''I'm telling you, guy at the counter of the pub says so!'' Said Martin waving a hand at Turael. He started to walk ahead of Tarin and Turael in anger. Turael looked at Tarin and Tarin returned the look.A girly scream filled the air as a dirty, green goblin jumped from a bush, tackling Martin to the ground. The goblin saliva filled Martin's face and the creature struggled to unsheath his silver dagger. Tarin looked on, aghast at the speed and ferocity of the creature's aggresive attack whilst Turael raised his battlesword. The goblin shrieked a cry of pain as the sword entered it's back and exited via throat. Green blood flooded out like a broken beaver dam. Repulsed, Turael withdrew his sword, causing the green figure to slump to the ground, lying in it's own putrid blood. Martin looked down , disgusted at the saliva and goblin blood over his cape and clothes. He shuddered and retreated to a nearby rock. A uncomfortable silence filled the air as Tarin and Turael dragged the corpse behind a bush,a green streak of blood followed it.
''Well..'' Turael said nervously. ''Time for lunch, anyone?'' He offered, holding up a piece of cooked pork.

Drops of blood covered the entrance to Falador's enormous city walls. Martin moaned as the Falador guards checked them. All clear. Nearly everyone from the provinces of Asgarnia carried a form of weaponry to guard off from the possible threats of a Black knight take over. The main square of Falador was extremely busy, full of merchants, stalls, prophets, beggars and priests coming to praise the holy statue of Saradomin.
''I know a place we could stay.'' Shouted Turael, as loud as he could to gather attention over Martin and Tarin, over the amount of noise in the background.
Slowly the three headed off for the shield shop.

''Hey there uncle Turael.'' Said Cassie. A bright haired women in her early fourties stood before the three. Turael and his niece hugged and Turael explained their situation to her. Cassie greeted Tarin and moved over to Martin.
''Well, well, what have we got here'' She said, cheekily.
''A burthorpe man looking for a shield. A shield of lurrve.'' He responded, cheekily. Cassie giggled
Alarmed, Turael stepped in to intervene his niece's flirting.
''Well, we have to unpack now. Come on Tarin and...Martin.'' He said, growling at the word, Martin angrily.
Martin chuckled and gazed at Cassie. Cassie winked. Suddenley , Turael grabbed him by the collar and pushed him in the way of the stairs.
''Thats..enough!'' He said angrily, trying to remain calm in front of his niece and dissapeared at the top of the stairs.
Cassie sighed and returned to the anvil, where she polished a mithril shield.

C'mon people, post and review. I won't bite evil.gif
Squiggle
As much as I hate double posting, here's chapter fourteen

Chapter Fourteen

Tarin woke up in the middle of the night. He was sharing a room with Turael and he watched the man snore peacefully in the snug bedsheets. It was hard to believe that the same sleeping elder had killed so many and yet could sleep at night. Slowly, Tarin got out of bed and creeped over to the basin. He rubbed the sleep out of his eyes and washed his face. He though he could hear muffled giggles from Cassie's room.
Tarin chuckled.
''That'll be Martin hard at work.'' he thought as he crept back into bed.

After much tossing and turning, Tarin gave up attempting to sleep. Something was wrong and he couldn't put his finger on what it was. In the corner of the room, was a cobweb. But after further studying,he could see two red lights there. Tarin grabbed a cosmic and fire rune from his pouch next to him and uttered magic words. A light illuminated the corner of the room. Stuck in the corner of a room, like a hunter ready to pounce, was an imp. It blinked in the light and jumped at Tarin. Tarin ducked but the Imp landed on his back. Alarmed, Tarin ran as fast as he could into the bookshelf trying to knock it off. But the Imp leaped off Tarin's book before he could crush it and Tarin slammed into the bookshelf. He slumped to the floor , in shock at the creatures agile movements. It leaped onto Tarin's chest and pulled out a sharp bronze dagger. It's red eyes gleamed in madness as it raised its weapon , ready to slit Tarin's throat. Before Tarin could register the red blur that was the imp, a mithril arrow speeded across the room. It whooshed through the air and sliced the Imp's head in two. Red blood spurted all over Tarin's face and the blood filled Tarin's nostrils and mouth. Gagging, he saw the Imp's decapitated head slump onto his neck. He brushed it off and it skidded to the other side of the room, leaving a bloody trail in its path. Tarin looked sideways and saw Turael in bed, bow raised and eye's heavy.
''Huh.'' He said and fell back to sleep. Tarin looked at Turael with a glare of confusion.

It was dawn. The sun's rays beamed off the puddles of last nights rain and merchants opened their stall ready for business and the busy day that would soon come. Inside Cassi's shop, Tarin, Turael and Martin sat round the breakfast table, shovelling their mouths with meat and washing it down with a half pint of gin. Martin looked at Cassie, raising any eyebrow as if to say, ''Do you want to?'' Cassie nodded and Martin, hastily got up and excused himself. The two ran through the kitchen door and shut it with a slam. Tarin smirked as Turael face-palmed.

After breakfast, Tarin went upstairs and grabbed a mop in the upstairs cupboard. He filled a bucket of water and proceeded into the bedroom. He spotted the decapitated imp from last night and slowly cleaned up the blood and any memories of last night's occurence. Rift wanted them dead, so dead that the vultures that circled Al Karid wouldn't even touch them.

I've decided to make some longer chapters. The current chapters are, i feel, are way too short to be called chapters and are simply a few paragraphs.
Raven
Nice smile.gif
Squiggle
Chapter Fifteen
Tarin, Turael and Martin set off for Draynor Village at noon. They packed up, Turael and Martin kissed Cassie goodbye whilst Tarin polished his blade with a dirty rag, occasionally glancing at the busy market place. The three started making their way through the crowd. The crowd was a huge obstacle, stray dogs, beggars, adventurers and guards among the stalls and merchants of the small and crowded streets. Grand houses with oak polishing and fantastic lawns were visible through the torrents of people. The three had to shout over the huge noise and after a few minutes of walking and pushing, managed to get past the crowd and stood at a bank, gazing at the grandeur spectacle that was the white knights castle. Nostalgia hit Tarin like an arrow as he reminisced about his training. He then remembered the troll blade and tore away from his memories and joined the other two, eager to get to the wizards tower as fast as possible.

After walking over a small bridge and a few minutes travelling through the crowds, the trio reached the wooden gates. After inspection by guards, they were deemed all suitable to pass and did so hastily. After a half hours walk and many conversations and chats about the experiences and tribulations of ordinary life, Turael moved onto the subject of Cassie.

‘’So, Martin, I heard you last night, erm... how can I put this... entertaining Cassie.’’ said Turael, tongue in cheek.

‘’Yeah...I am known for seducing most of the women in Burthorpe.’’ said Martin, winking at Tarin. The wink was not returned.

After the three looked back after a couple of minutes walk, the city gates were dots and only an empty green field covered their tracks. Tarin blinked back fatigue, letting his bronze hair sway in the piercing wind and grunted.

‘’Time to rest, maybe.’’ suggested Turael, chuckling. Turael nodded in disagreement and the three kept on walking.
Dragut
Somehow, I missed three chapters, and am very sorry. Partially, I'm sorry for myself because the past 3 chapters were some of the funniest and most exciting chapters in this story. You have got a good thing going with your Chuck Norris style jokes about how easy everything is for Turael, and Turael is also a great foil for Martin's silliness and improper behavior, with the Cassie and Martin subplot causing me to laugh out loud. Although Martin and Turael are doing great as characters, the same cannot be said for Tarin. He has taken the sidelines in the past few chapters, and so he doesn't have anywhere near as much of a personality as the others, which is a major issue as he is your main character. Good luck and keep on truckin' (Sorry, writing)
Squiggle
I agree with you Dragut. Tarin's charcater development has been a bit sparse in recent chapters and i'll shall try to improvise on him in future chapters. Thanks. evil.gif

I'm currently making a chapter for my library story ''Alone.''
Hell, I might even finish it today. evil.gif
Dragut
Yet another one of your stories I fell behind on. Damn! I better get back to reading that. I'm eagerly awaiting chapter 14!
Squiggle
QUOTE (Dragut @ Jun 26 2009, 03:31 AM) *
Yet another one of your stories I fell behind on. Damn! I better get back to reading that. I'm eagerly awaiting chapter 14!


Chapter fifteen
The titles at the top is misleading happy.gif
Dragut
Oh okay. Then I eagerly await chapter 15 (fifteen) :-P
Squiggle
just checked. sixteen actually... ugh =(
Dragut
Uh... No It's chapter 15! You won't fool me again!!1!

By the way, the picture in your avatar... Is it actually you?
Squiggle
QUOTE (Dragut @ Jun 30 2009, 03:48 AM) *
Uh... No It's chapter 15! You won't fool me again!!1!

By the way, the picture in your avatar... Is it actually you?


It's from a web comic called Concerned: the life and times of Gordon Frohman.
Basically a parody of Half -life 2 but viewed from a different perspective and added humour. You should check it out sometime. It made me laugh a lot.
* I was not paid to say that* aware.gif
Dragut
Okay good. Because if that was seriously you, I'd be scared. tongue.gif
Extreme Steak
Very good i like it =D oh and btw here is s spelling err i don't know if you meant to do it or not but anyway here it is

''Asyour reason is immature and foolish, "As your reason is immature and foolish"

~Markbalex
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