Prologue
Darkness... Only thing he could see was darkness... It was no difference if he closed his eyes or not. Every time he tried to move, something stopped him. He always thought that it was a chain. And he had a lot time to think. How long had it been... Days? Years? Ages? He couldn't know. When he tried to close his eyes, when he tried to sleep, something always stopped him. That dripping water noise, it was the only thing he could hear, see and smell. Guthix was torturing him for the things he did...
Sometime, he suddenly heard a noise, it was not that dripping water noise. He saw something, It was light! Suddenly, the spell, or chains, that binded him weakened, weakened, and it disappeared. He was free, he went towards that light, and suddenly, he was back there, he was back at the place he nearly destroyed, he was back at; the lands of RuneScape

Chapter 1: Awakening:
The dark mage looked around, where was he? He tried to figure out, but nothing was coming to mind... He suddenly heard a noise, It was a kid, a mage pupil.
“Now that I released you, you will have to obey me!” Said the little pupil. The dark mage looked at him, excitedly. How could this little kid release him, break the spell of a god...
“You sure have potential...” The dark mage said, with his thick voice. “Maybe, you can be my pupil..” Continued the dark mage. He suddenly heard a roar, It was coming from the next door. He opened the door, and saw a demon, trapped in a cage. The dark mage suddenly released where he was, he was at the wizards tower, the place where he was defeated, and sealed forever. He looked at the little pupil, the dark mage was very lucky.
“While i am here..” He mumbled and shot a fire blast to the demons cage, the demon was free.
“You are coming with me.” He said to the pupil, waiting for the kid to disobey.

“Ok.” Answered the kid, surprising the dark mage. Suddenly some wizards entered the room to attack the demon, but when they saw the dark mage, they all stooped moving.
“You ca- ca- can’t be...” Said the leader of them, he was like a frozen statute.

“Yes, it is me...” Said the dark mage, and shot a fire wave to the group, burning them all. “I am back!!!” He yelled, but something stopped him. It was the head of the wizards tower, Sedridor... The one that helped Guthix sealing the dark mage. The dark mage was still afraid of Sedridor, after many years. He grabbed the kids arm and casted a teleport spell, to Canifis, to the haunted city, to the place where it all began... Now that he was free, no one could say that runescape was safe...

Please tell me any grammar or spelling mistake, and typos.. Thank you.

How did this slip past the radar? This is by far the best thing I've read by you, DarKing, and I'm pretty impressed! There isn't very much written so far, but it definitely has a good setup. I'm not so sure Guthix would imprison someone, but I'm behind on my Runescape lore, so IDK. I liked how the dark mage wasted no time in getting revenge, and didn't monologue or anything. Good luck on future works!

This is interesting, not especially similar to anything else I've read here (though admittedly my activity here over the last year and a half has been incredibly shaky). One problem with it is that you use the same phrase(s) over and over again, especially "the dark mage." Referring to someone the same way all the time gets very old. The "..."s are also way too frequent; if you use them too often you make the story seem choppy and even annoying. Your sentences are generally too short and choppy, too, at least to me.

Guthix's imprisonment of this fellow is actually quite realistic. Any overpowered man such as this could easily be sealed in an extradimensional space, and Guthix is not a Good god. Torture is not beyond him.

The little kid is kind of interesting, even though his description is sparse. Hope to see more development of this in the near future!

I know Guthix isn't good per se, but I thought he was the god who decided to just leave Gielinor alone and let the others duke it out.

First of all, I am not darKing, he is my bro XD Also thank you



I know my sentences are dull, my english isnt good so dont expect much from me XD Also i know, i couldnt find a name to the dark mage so i called him "the dark mage" too much.

I know i didnt write much, an important exam is close so....Anyway, i will write the new chapter tomorrow..

Thank you for your time

~Dark

Realley like it its goos story please keep going you can get a good story going here

its okay a bit i think you should give the dark mage a i mean theres loads of dark wizards/mages out ther i hope to see this into a book soon,and maybe a big summer blockbuster lol

On the Agenda: This is an awesome read, introduction to the Dark Mage was short, however it is only chapter One.

I'm interested in how the pupil will develop it seems he will be an interesting person in the story.

The Prologue was fantastic in my opinion, brilliant way to get the story unraveling.

Looking forward to reading more chapters.




You capitalized RuneScape in the prologue but you forgot in the last sentence.



Also stooped should be stopped, small typo.

Try to alternate 'said' with other more fitting words example: “You ca- ca- can’t be...” Said the leader of them, he was like a frozen statute.

Might look better if it was "You ca- ca-can't be..." Stuttered the Leader of them, he was frozen like a statue. (Because, it seems to me he is afraid, and stuttering is his speech.)

Other than that, fantastic read.