Full Version: God Wars I.i
please close beacuse no-body likes it.
http://runescape.salmoneus.net/forums/inde...t=0&start=0
Read that and you'll realise how this story fails.
First off, why would Bandos be walking down Varrock? Bandos is a god , not a normal person.
I wouldn't use mwahahahaha. It's not really effective. i needs to be capitalized and you spelt already with two l's. Saradomin is not capitalized, same with Zaros. There's that i again. There's 6 mistakes in one sentence. That's not good. Also, capital letters!!!! Children in primary school are the exception to this, But there's none in the speech!!
I suggest you should abandon this and start with a proper story.
Hope you can improve.
Read that and you'll realise how this story fails.
First off, why would Bandos be walking down Varrock? Bandos is a god , not a normal person.
QUOTE
mwuahahahaha, i allready used saradomin to destroy zaros and now i got guthix under control i shall make peace no longer!" he evily laughed.
I wouldn't use mwahahahaha. It's not really effective. i needs to be capitalized and you spelt already with two l's. Saradomin is not capitalized, same with Zaros. There's that i again. There's 6 mistakes in one sentence. That's not good. Also, capital letters!!!! Children in primary school are the exception to this, But there's none in the speech!!
I suggest you should abandon this and start with a proper story.
Hope you can improve.
http://runescape.salmoneus.net/forums/inde...howtopic=271523
Please read that.
There are many mistakes in the writing and the actual history of the Gods are extremely off. First of all, they're not normal people which will just walk trough Varroc. Secondly Zaros was already killed before the Godwars. The Godwars in general are an extremely overused topic. Unless you can add your own personal twist to it. I suggest you get better at writing before you actually make a story in a RuneScape website.
Here's to getting better.
Please read that.
There are many mistakes in the writing and the actual history of the Gods are extremely off. First of all, they're not normal people which will just walk trough Varroc. Secondly Zaros was already killed before the Godwars. The Godwars in general are an extremely overused topic. Unless you can add your own personal twist to it. I suggest you get better at writing before you actually make a story in a RuneScape website.
Here's to getting better.
I never said I didn't like it, I just said that you should try to make it better.
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