http://runescape.salmoneus.net/forums/inde...t=0&start=0Read that and you'll realise how this story fails.
First off, why would Bandos be walking down Varrock? Bandos is a god , not a normal person.
QUOTE
mwuahahahaha, i allready used saradomin to destroy zaros and now i got guthix under control i shall make peace no longer!" he evily laughed.
I wouldn't use mwahahahaha. It's not really effective. i needs to be capitalized and you spelt already with two l's. Saradomin is not capitalized, same with Zaros. There's that i again. There's 6 mistakes in one sentence. That's not good. Also, capital letters!!!! Children in primary school are the exception to this, But there's none in the speech!!
I suggest you should abandon this and start with a proper story.
Hope you can improve.