Chapter one
The Great Escape
By Manslayersmi

Manslayersmi ran as fast as he could but his Dharok Full was running him down. He looked over his shoulder and saw about 5 to 7 noobs all with bronze daggers. He could'nt run anymore he had to fight. He cracked his whip at a noob and it hit him with tremendous force, the noob was brought to his knees but the other noobs were still advancing. Then he heard a battle cry, Bensuper4 was running with his torags hammers. He hit a noob clean on the fore head the damage sustained was incredible, the noobs head exploded on impact and brains were sent flying. Manslayersmi felt a warm shudder go through his body. This was strange. But he realised almost instantly what was going on. Noob brains exposed were toxic. A single breath of the gas could kill you. He opened his back pack and chucked out : logs, a tinderbox, and a Dragon dagger with deadly posion dripped on the edge. Then he found it, crumpled in a box was a gas mask, he put it on, Bensuper4 had his on, they were saved for now. While doing this he was'nt looking, a noob ran towards him and before he could react it had happened. "Free stuff pl0x" a noob knocked him clean with the word stuff, Manslayersmi was down and out....

Post/Rate/Enjoy

For a chapter, it's quite short.
Not really any faults i could see.
Just please, dont start this and not finish it please. I beg of you

Alright, I'm assuming you're trying to piss us off.

Aliath how am i pissing you off, dont worry i will finish it.

I think he's pissed because you already have a story thats on chapter 1 and that its about noobs.

How many times do we have to stress that "Noob Stories" aren't exactly welcome here? MANSLAYERSMI, I think you've been hanging around long enough to know that.

Easy Aliath.


On that point he's right Manslayersmi, this story doesn't really have much of a plot, the grammar is horrific. Do you put your stories through Microsoft Word? I suggest you try writing something better. And longer.

If you need any additional help I suggest you check out this: http://runescape.salmoneus.net/forums/inde...271523&st=0

Mod close im quitting the story mat.

Oh bai then
I would hae bet my house that this story got unfinished and well whadda know....

If this is your reaction to criticism, as harsh as it may seem, perhaps you think rethink this over. Every writer in their life must learn to handle criticism. It's what they do after that makes them such great writers of these fictitious stories you read - they learn from it. They apply it and make sure they take it to their advantage. Hence the term, constructive-criticism. My mind is in a state that I cannot think of any metaphor to suit this scenario, so I'll let your mind think up one.

But perhaps I'm wrong, maybe you're leaving (I hardly would dare say 'quitting') the Story Mat and art of writing stories, because of another reason. However if I'm right, you better think of this decision. No doubt this may not be permanent, and in the future you might not regard this choice and return to the Story Mat, imagination bursting with ideas and potential, but even so, take criticism like crappy food (a somewhat decent? metaphor). You make some junk the first time, and the people eating it spit it out, giving you suggestions in the form of regurgitation and yells, the next time, you improve, you add some herbs here and there, cook the meat properly this time, fry the vegetables.

Perhaps the above wasn't such a fitting metaphor, but you get where I'm going. I'm siding with Fake's suggestion to look at that link. Even the best of authors have to start somewhere.

Cheers

Here's the whole story:

MANSLAYERSMI makes a new story. Everyone sends him constructive critism, but he rather takes that as negative comments. He's discouraged, and discontinues the story. Maybe about a week later, he creates another story, and the same thing happens. He needs to learn to take critism, and not to cry about it.

I can take criticism but every thing i try to do is just stamped on, so i see no point of staying in the story mat. All you guys are pros at writing stories so im not. Maybe if you had bad remarks ALL the time then you would feel same way yh it would be finished but maybe u guys dont want me to. Bye.

How about you take our suggestions then? You say you can handle criticism but yet you can't improve from it. First of all read out guide. Second of all open up a Microsoft word and make the First Chapter a Page or Two, rather than a paragraph. Use proper grammar and spelling which M.W. will show you and remember to use as much details as possible.

These guys summed it up perfectly, I'm sorry to say. You need to learn to finish a story instead of just making a new one when the last one get's criticized (criticizm happens to all of us, it's no big deal). The reason people may be mad at you and make harsher criticism than normal is the fact that you're probably going to abandon your story after the first chapter, as you have multiple times in the past.

As odd as this seems, I suggest you write a short story or two before you can pick up the dedication/motivation to write a longer one.

I know you haven't got your plot outlined, MANSLAYERSMI, or you would have written at least one paragraph more.

Outline your plot first, and make sure you've got more than a paragraph of material to post.

Write now on the course of my story I don't know exactly what is going to happen. I think of it as I go. Although, I do know what is going to happen in the next few chapters and that is what keeps me going. You shouldn't think of the whole story in a minute because that leaves no more room for creativity.

Chapter one
The Great Escape
By Manslayersmi

Then he found it, crumpled in a box was a gas mask, he put it on, Bensuper4 had his on, they were saved for now. While doing this he was'nt looking, a noob ran towards him and before he could react it had happened. "Free stuff pl0x" a noob knocked him clean with the word stuff, Manslayersmi was down and out....


IS this supposed to be the story of "the box noob"?

Let it die im not listening to you all.

In the words of Winston Churchill, "Criticism may not be agreeable, but it is necessary. It fulfills the same function as pain in the human body. It calls attention to an unhealthy state of things."

I only hope that you'll begin to regret making this choice soon.

Edit:

This isn't helping at all...

I'm very sorry to say that you haven't improved at all from last time. Same lack of plot, same grammar/punctuation problems, and same lack of acceptance regarding constructive criticism. We don't try to stamp on everything you attempt, we try to help. I suppose that Life's metaphor describes it rather nicely, but it makes me hungry...

Anyways, I want to go on to say that we aren't all professionals. We just take criticism and try not to write like first-graders.

Im not a yank so im not in first grade as you people call it. The plot i do have in my mind but im not showing it in the first chapter why is this so bad. No i wont regret it either il probably think one day wow i glad i quit the story mat.

HahhhaahahahahshahsahsahsyuadiuasghsigjdgjidgBALLSdkmsduiodhahahahahahahah..


YOU can't quit the story mat.

1. After stories like these you make, you cry about how you think everyone is saying your story sucks, yet is critizim..

2. You say you'll quit.

3. ???????

4. PROFIT

5. You come back a week later and repeat the process.

Smokey there is a fair line between Criticizing and Flaming. You are on the border.

Bye story mat.