Jarlon Slyxian drew his weapon. A shimmering greatsword, jeweled and cleansed--the Sword of Wraths. The weapon was an ancient 2nd Age RuneScapian weapon created by Zamorak, Saradomin, Guthix, Iban, Zaros, and Armadyl. It each had a little bit of their powers, and the source of the powers' energy came from the silvery, metal hilt. It was decorated with dozens of rubies and dragonstones and emeralds and sapphires of every sort, and in the dark it had a slight yellowish glow to it, blade and all.

The "Sword," as Jarlon simply called it, had been in Jarlon's family for over five ages now, since the Third Age of Triumph. It was surprisingly, the Eighth Age of RuneScape already, or the "Eighth Age of Turmoil." Over five races had been fought until they were endangered. Some, like the goblins were already extinct. The dwarves were mostly used by elves to make their "secret weapons of the Age," which they told other races would let "Seren and her faithful followers" win the war. Meanwhile, Bandos's army was becoming exceedingly hard to defeat since the goblins had gone extinct.

Already, six hundred thousand ogres, jogres, mogres, zogres, giants, and other Bandos followers had been gathered and had defeated any Saradomin or Guthixian or Zaros battalion. Zaros and Guthix and Saradomin's forces were alert and thriving, but Bandos was simply unbeatable. Any army that even came close to a Bandos camp would be met by a barrage of javelins, flaming and poisoned arrows, and poisoned darts.

Sixty-eight divisions of the massive Guthix army had been sent out to the "Eye of the Arrow" Bandos camp and only four men had come back, carrying a lump which turned out to be a big ogre's head, without the neck.

"Slyxian?" A quiet but somehow strong voice called over the racket Miss Elinoer and her class were making. "Clean this mess up, won't you?" Director Foreman climbed up a short flight of stairs, shouting at Jarlon.

Miss Elinoer's assistant suddenly unleashed a flurry of curses as a school-boy bit into her ankle. Foreman quickly grasped the boy's shoulders and pushed him into the corner, where the assistant huffed in irritation.

Jarlon sighed, stifling a laugh as he watched the scenario--this always happened. Just two and a half hours ago, the exact same thing had happened. Jarlon had been in the Eighth Age War, but the Guthixian Army had discarded him after he had a major injury in the elbow and the dwarven doctors couldn't heal the wound. Well, no wonder. Jarlon went to work, putting his yellow iron gauntlets on and picked up the shattered and cracked shards of solid glass.


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This story takes place in RuneScape, where the Eighth Age of Turmoil begins. The main characters are:

Jarlon Slyxian
Torfian Unknown
Lothie Torteri
Torture Wrath
The "Master"

The Gods that have not been discarded are:

Zamorak
Saradomin
Guthix
Zaros
Iban
Seren

The Prologue took place in the Varrock Museum, where Jarlon "Sly" had been sent after he was discarded from the Natural Army of Vines (Guthix's Army). He got to keep the Sword of Wraths when he was sent out because nobody knew it was such a valuable object. The Adventure Begins....!

Well, this certainly is an intriguing tale, but you have an unfortunate error or two I should like to correct.

[quote]The weapon was an ancient 2nd Age RuneScapian weapon created by Zamorak, Saradomin, Guthix, Iban, Zaros, and Armadyl.[/i]

I suggest that you spell 2nd as second.

[quote] It each had a little bit of their powers, and the source of the powers' energy came from the silvery, metal hilt. It was decorated with dozens of rubies and dragonstones and emeralds and sapphires of every sort, and in the dark it had a slight yellowish glow to it, blade and all. [/i]

It should be 'had a little of of each of their powers', and I suggest you merge the two sentences together, which will do nicely.

[quote]Over five races had been fought until they were endangered. Some, like the goblins were already extinct.[/i]

There should be no 'been' between 'had' and 'fought'.

I feel a bit lazy, so you'll have to seek out the rest of the errors yourself. Still, this is worthy of reading, if one gives it some patience.

Your story seems pretty good and since this is only the prologue, I can't really say anything on how good or bad it is. But, so far, the plot seems a bit interesting and I would certainly like to read the first chapter.

Buland summed up a lot of what I was going to say, but I would like to add that since it's the Eight Age of Runescape, you may want to consider explaining what happened in the rest of the Fifth Age, as well as the Sixth and Seventh Ages. Also, since so much time has elapsed (three ages in Runescape time could easily exceed ten thousand years), things probably will be different than today (unless a catastrophe happened before the story takes place). Technology would be advanced, medicine would be more effective, new cities would rise as old cities fell, etc. Just try to spice things up with a contrast to Runescape today.

i like the plot for the story

There's another thing that I found wrong with the story. I don't know if I missed it the first time or if it was edited or what, but that listing of the gods in the first paragraph is incorrect. Iban did not exist at the time, as he was a 'demigod' born in the Fourth Age. Also, Zamorak was a general to Zaros in the Second Age, so he wouldn't be there, either, and Guthix was asleep at the time, so having them all give a bit of their power to a sword isn't very likely, especially considering the three that were left (Armadyl, Saradomin and Zaros) were enemies, at least the former two with the latter.