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Sal's RuneScape Forum > Everything... Not RuneScape > The Story Mat > RuneScape Stories
Nightspeed
Episode 1


Warrior Nok: sir we must get ready for war!

Captain Ark: What why, who?

Warrior Nok: Goblins sir They want to overthrow humans!

Captain Ark: Very well, get every Warrior Ready for Battle!

Warrior Nok: as you wish sir!

Sevlen: What is going on!?

Warrior Nok: get your Sword and shield we Are at war with the goblins!

Sevlen: Yes Sir!

Warrior Renie: Man i may not live this War!

Sevlen: This is my first!

Warrior James: owch! the 1st is always the most hard!

Warrior Renie: 50%50 you will die in this battle!

Sevlen: $h!7!

7 Hours later...............

Warrior Henry: HEY I SEE E'M!

Captian Ark: GET READY TO FIGHT!!

Sevlen: Ughh my stomach it hurts!

Warrior James: we all feel that Sevlen!

Sevlen: yea i guess I'm just scared!

Goblins: WE WILL KILL ALL OF YOUR PEOPLE!!

Captain Ark: GET READY TO!!!

Sevlen: "Gulp"

Captain Ark: BATTLE!!!
Squiggle
BAD! please read the guide
hlow
Aren't you Sevlen?

I thought you're not allowed to make another account if you're already banned?
Grimm
This, sir, is not a story in the way we define it. It's more of a...script or a screenplay than anything else. Either way, I'll do my best to edit this. Now I'm unsure as to whether knights in RuneScape times would even know such swear words like what Sevlen said.

QUOTE
sir we must get ready for war!


You're capitalizing 'Sir' as it's a title, a rank given to someone. You haven't done this throughout the script as I'm going to call it.

QUOTE
Goblins Sir - they want to overthrow humans!


You were missing any punctuation there.

QUOTE
Ready for Battle!


You don't need to capitalize this phrase, it's fine as...

QUOTE
Captain Ark: Very well, get every Warrior ready for battle!


QUOTE
Get your sword and shield. We are at war with the goblins!


Capitalize and punctuate!

QUOTE
Warrior James: Ouch! The 1st is always the most hard!


Never - put things like 1st, 2nd, 3rd into your story or script unless you're making a list of something. Otherwise, type it as a full word. First, Second, Third. It's much more presentable and looks better in a writing piece.

QUOTE
Warrior Renie: 50%50 you will die in this battle!


I believe it's 50 - 50. Now with that too, don't type numbers in your story unless they go above one hundred (I think that's the number...). Otherwise, do the same as above, type it all out. One, Two, Three.

QUOTE
Warrior Henry: HEY I SEE E'M!

Captian Ark: GET READY TO FIGHT!!


Capitalizing full sentences rarely, if not never, works. It throws the reader off and isn't very presentable, standing out like that. If you want to emphasize a point, add exclamation marks or bold one or two words. Don't underline though.

QUOTE
"Gulp"


If this were a story, he wouldn't be saying 'gulp'. You'd have to explain it through a sentence such as:

Sevlen gulped.

Of course less primitive and basic like that, you elaborate on it.

However it is a script/screenplay, so, you put '[ and ]' (I think...) on both ends to signify that it's an action as such.

I can't exactly compare this to any other of your works seeing as it doesn't even fall in the same category. Practice, practice, practice my friend. Take people's suggestions and advice, apply them! Don't stray too far out of the box as to do things like these (although they are good fun once in a while). You have potential waiting to be unlocked - so aim for it!

Good Luck in the future, Life.
Extreme Steak
Um.............it would be a good play "I think?" well keep trying and please do read the manual before posting but post new story only way your gonna learn is through trial and error
Qwerty100788
Ok, this is a good try at making a story, but I'm afraid that it just doesn't work. It's more of a script than a storybook, and there are spelling errors everywhere. Next time, try to use third person, past tense, and instead of 1st, put first. Also, 50%50 just doesn't look right. Try fifty-fifty.
Aliath
ye lol u cant write a story liek tat cause its a play nao lol

oh and i found a few gramer mistakes and some speling wrong so yea u migth wanna fix that
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