Dr. Vandenhaus sat at the end of a long table filled with leaders from all over Gielinor. He was composing himself to give a speech that could change the world as everyone knew it. He looked like an overlarge hawk, a long hooked nose, great yellow eyes that seemed to take in everything around him, and a scraggly beard and wispy white hair. He took a large breath through his huge nose and began. "The old ways are coming to an end. No longer do the citizens of this world sit in log cabins and ponder whether to eat their cow or their duck for dinner. They are building great cities, robots, the magic in the world is disappearing. If we are to return the favors given to us by the people, we must dignify them," He began. Always start off big to keep them alert.
"The world goes on around us, and we are not making use of it's many resources! Time is accelerating, and we sit here in filthy rags (he ignored the fact that most of the present company was dressed in fine silks and furs, including himself) when we should be building machines to do our bidding for us and greater cities, of metal and gold. I have a vision for the future, and its time begins now. Gentlemen... (he paused for dramatic effect) We must modernize Gielinor. Bring forth the bartender!
Chapter 1: The Bartender
A clanking of chains preceded the man and woman into the room. A tall woman with long blond hair and shining plate armor was leading in a small, scrawny man who had been locked in irons. He looked pathetic in comparison. "Those won't be necessary Achilles. Take them off" the Dr. said in his fruity voice, practiced by decades of bribing and coercing politicians. Achilles looked a bit frightened, (which was in itself, frightening as she was one of the greatest warriors in the world) and removed the shackles.
"Now Mr.... Bartender..." began Vandenhaus, but the barman piped up,
"It's Mister Flagon, sir." At this, Vandenhaus pulled out some sort of weapon shaped rather like a boomerang with a hole at the end and pointed it square at Flagon's face. He pulled back a small hammer-shaped instrument and pulled the trigger, blasting a large, jagged hole in the wooden wall. Everyone began acting like cowards; hiding beneath the table or beginning to pray to a chosen supreme being.
"You'll speak when spoken to MR. FLAGON..." He said the last two words with such obvious displeasure, a renewed wave of cowardice crashed over the guests and drowned them.
"Now... I want you to tell the committee here, what you told the last adventurer who asked you how to get... what is the phrase? Loot."
When Flagon spoke it was in a shaky and determined-to-not-
-my-pants voice, if that makes sense. No? Well read on."Well... Sir... Your Majesty... er... I told him that... he should have to do the work himself... and... mmm... itoldhimweallliveinsideagiantboxcalledacomputer"
"I'm sorry? What was that last bit?"
"I... I told him we all live in a giant eklektronick box called a computer..." (At this point he was actually chewing the neck of his shirt)
"Ah... yes. I know you did. Now, why don't you tell us about the computer?"
Mr. Flagon was showing every sign of having
his pants, but continued on; "Well... it's a giant box... it works from something called eleck... trickity I think. It's like a clockwork but much, much more complicated... and... big and... were inside it... and usually a monstrous person is using the computer to make us do things."He finished somewhat lamely, and then Vandenhaus ruined his life completely. He said, "Well, why I've brought you here, is I want you to contact one of these monstrous beings and force him to tell you how a computer works. Once we build one, the modernization will go smoothly... hehehe... HAHAHAHAHAHA!!!"
His maniacal laughter carried on for a long time, as maniacal laughter often does by villains. By the time he was done, the entire table had indulged in some evil cackling, and even Flagon had managed a nervous chuckle.