I've decided to turn this into a page where i'll showcase more poetry, i write at least 1 poem a day so i'm sure it will prove useful.

Not sure if people will understand what i mean, or even like this remotely, but whatever.

Unsure

Someone once asked me why people do so wrong in this world
So then I took all the money from my pocket, and gave it to a beggar
Overly excited and with way too much praise they cheered at me with thanks
I frowned at the thought of not having any money left for my own delight
I then raised the handgun I kept at my side, shot the beggar, turned to the now horrified stranger, and politely gave him my inquiry
"To answer your question sir, I guess there is more evil than good because it is more colorful, and it definitely costs less than the alternative."

Revised:

Someone once asked me why people do so wrong in this world
So then I took all the money from my pocket, and gave it to a beggar
Overly excited and with way too much praise they cheered at me with thanks
I frowned at the thought of not having any money left for my own delight
I then raised the handgun I kept at my side, shot the beggar, turned to the now horrified stranger, and politely gave him my inquiry
To answer your question sir, I guess evil is simply a more colorful, less expensive alternative


Simple Bottle

Dirty street, philthy gutters
Our deformed bottle flies through the air and scrapes the ground
Hopes rise
Near miss, a sigh
Discouraged
Close proximity
Fraud meets victory
And for one graceful moment we were more than friends
We were
Ourselves

Minimal

Surreptitious is
the succesful thief
Identical Nemesis

A race in the mirror


Tears swim down a sagging face
behind a mask of smiles
best friends shake hands
equipped with knives so eager

Kings and queens all turn their heads and blend in with the crowd
while our heavy, noxious, synthetic sky falls down, and
dances through our lungs
relapse unto savagery
digging the graves of fruition as well as ourselves


Sunshine without worry
the natural Majesty of one great sphere
Arrested by need for the unnecessary
careless to take and weary to defend
destroyed
This is my sanctuary

An interesting piece I must say. Apart from grammar mistakes and some polishing up of it, 'Unsure' (I'm guessing that's the title of this short piece) is...unique in a way. The end of it made me chuckle slightly and also provoked me to ponder on the question that you, as the writer, set: Why People Do So Much Wrong in the World? And if you're intention was to get the reader to think about that, bravo. When your writing gets the reader thinking about the question you set forth on the table, you did a good job. Although the way the answer came about, and how it was actualized could have been executed in a slightly better manner.

But nevertheless, for 2:34 in the morning, it's a good piece.

I'm not going to repeat what Life said, but just imagine me nodding my head in agreement while typing this out.

It's pretty good, although I'm not much of a critic when it comes to... poems? or whatever that was. It made me chuckle at the end.

That's good to hear :]

What would you suggest i do to improve it?

Thinking of: Changing first line to "so much more wrong in the world than good"

Possibly changing last line to:

"To answer your question sir, I guess evil is simply a more colorful, less expensive alternative"

I'm open to any suggestions.

Thinking of: Changing first line to "so much more wrong in the world than good"

Possibly changing last line to:

"To answer your question sir, I guess evil is simply a more colorful, less expensive alternative"

I'm open to any suggestions.

Yeah, I'd change the last line.

Fixed + Added a little something i threw together last night

Reminds me of stephen crane, alot.

Very good :]

I added a haiku, if anyone likes those sorts of things.

Open for interpretation.