Defenceless

Poor tiny thing upon the ground
Writhing and whimpering amidst the leaves
Its lips move but break forth no sound
In every line, it grieves
What shall become of the thing
When its secrets are all told
What shall the morrow bring
When its mysteries unfold

Poor little tiny thing upon the grass
No defence nor cover hides it
The world is much too bold and crass
A cry, a scream, demands "Submit."
Secrets burst forth and shame abounds
"Another modern tragedy" resounds


Author's comments:
Form: The Shakespearean sonnet rhymes ababcdcd/efefgg.
Subject: Only sorrow comes to a society
that moulds its young so narrowly
that young feel the need to let secrets abound
and old feel the need to break them down.

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Action!

You stand on your mark
and I stand on mine
cue the sarcastic remark
as our talk starts to decline

We do this by rote
actors in a play
we have become so remote
nothing meaningful to say

Can someone rewrite our story
we're killing it, ad-libbing the line
let someone else take the glory
I wish we could just rewind.

Author's comments:
Form: A simple, open abab rhyme scheme.
Subject: More of a general angsty poem. It's based upon how I have been feeling in about life in general lately, rather than on my poor boyfriend.
Influenced in small part by some of the romances I have been reading lately as well.

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The Elephant-in-the-Room Conversation

Peanut butter, gardening, and
little white lies
Anger, headlines, and
SOMETHING WE NEVER TALK ABOUT

Kisses, strangers, and
realistic dreams
Dinner, pets and
SOMETHING WE NEVER TALK ABOUT

Author's comments:
Form: Open Verse.
Subject: You skirt around something that must be talked about, narrowly avoiding it, until it gains monumental proportions . . .

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As I Saw It

It comes again
7 x 100 fold does it begin
it doesn't take much for Mighty Axe
to hew Young Tree

to make it small
until there's nothing left at all


A million times over
and a million times more
it doesn't take much for Mighty Axe
to raze Young Tree

ripping into base and matter
causing it to shake, then shatter

Author's comments:
Form: Open Verse
Subject: Sometimes what you learn quite young sticks with you even after it's long gone and done.


The first two are quite recent, the second two a bit older. All are posted on my deviantART page.

-Rayn

As I've mentionned before in countless topics; I'm not much a critic when it comes to poetry.

I just wanted to make a quick remark. You're a wonderful writer; you should post here more often.

Also, I have to ask you: Can you write stories? Just curious.

Thank you for the compliment .

I have written a few short stories. Most based on dreams I have had. I have some wicked wild dreams sometimes. I am currently editing one of them, as it is the best and I think it could, perhaps, get published in a sci-fi mag. Then again, many people would like to think they are good enough to be published when they aren't . Can't hurt to try though. I haven't put any of my stories on my Deviant page because most are still needing editing and a few are just crap . And, I have to admit, a few are a bit too racy for me to feel comfortable putting them up there.

-Rayn

Even as you say, Then again, many people would like to think they are good enough to be published when they aren't, I as a young child of 12 can tell you would go far if a publisher found these.
Your first poem's tone and the mood it instilled in me was remarkable. It stirred some emotion not usually found when reading, some emotion that is just, a connection with the detail, the imagery. And the "Lesson" or "Metaphor" was just made in such a way.

The second, basically reminded me of lyrics to a song, yet as the first poem was, the view of the author gave the poem a strong mood and feel.

The third one just put a beat in my head, the first three lines in the stanza were mellow but sort of calm and nice. But then I heard drums, and a singer screaming
SOMETHING WE NEVER TALK ABOUT. It MEANT something.

Lastly, the fourth seems... almost child-like in a way. Don't get me wrong, it was EXTREMELY well written, if not of my taste.

Your poems, tone, and your view and outlook make you a very inspiring 'writer' to me.

~Xiaon~

Thank you. And if it stirred the emotion you say, it did it's job. Part personal experience, part drawn from the vast amounts of fiction I read. Jumbled together into something I hoped was as meaningful to someone else as it was to me.



Again, always glad to hear that someone felt the emotion behind it. You might want to try the poet Molly Peacock in a few more years. She has a flavor to her work you might enjoy. I say "a few more years", because some of her poetry I personally wouldn't deem appropriate for a 12 year old (and I don't consider myself a prude by any means) but she is quite eloquent and brutally honest in her imagery of her life and of human nature.



I often hear my poetry as a song or as having a beat. It helps me get an even flow or establish a rhythm, even if it is a non-rhyming open verse.



Not every piece of poetry from someone, even if you like their work in general, is going to touch you. So that is OK. It was supposed to sound "almost child-like" though because I was writing it of events that happened in my youth. In other words, written by an adult, but through the eyes of a child.



Thank you. That is why I post my work.


-Rayn