Sal's RuneScape Forum > Jump, A Poem

Sal's RuneScape Forum > Everything... Not RuneScape > The Story Mat > The Library

Regret

Aug 8 2009, 05:36 PM

I usually just stick to my blog, but most people there aren't very appreciative of poetry, so I'm trying out making topics with them for awhile at least.

I stand gazing at our past
The regrets we've made
The love we've found

My feet move swiftly in the night
Through cold winter and warm spring
Towards the one I love

Standing there waiting to fall
Waiting to leave this world
Waiting for me to follow

I cross the desolate street
I step up to the edge
Our souls longing for freedom

Wind blowing in her hair
Tears never stop falling
Our last night, one that won't fail

She waits for me
I take her hand
We jump

Emanick

Aug 16 2009, 09:30 PM

Ewww, suicide.

It's pretty good, and written fairly hauntingly, with a good technique. That said, it's incredibly cliche. There are about six poems of similar content, and a couple of stories, in the last edition of my school magazine, with a really similar message.

Still, for the concept, you did a pretty good job.

hahahahah872

Sep 7 2009, 07:17 PM

very deep i enjoyed it!

love, matt

Lidias

Sep 8 2009, 11:55 AM

Theres a 99% chance that "jumping" represents suicide.

HOWEVER:

!

However, there's the remaining 1% that the word jump could represent the two of them in love together? Taking the chance with eachother and just jumping?

Probably not, but if so, then i enjoy the concept.

Fencefry

Sep 8 2009, 03:49 PM

QUOTE (Frustration @ Sep 8 2009, 12:55 PM)

Or it could be pudle jumping

Pretty good

Ph201

Sep 12 2009, 01:35 AM

Nice poem. Not too difficult though.

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