BDSM is an interesting concept I've been musing over recently and I have a few questions that will make for an interesting debate.

Consider BDSM and the nature and the role of the dominant/sadist partner; how are they different from a rapist? I'm referring to psychologically, of course. Furthermore, is BDSM sexual abuse?

Now, I understand that BDSM requires consent and therefore technically it cannot be 'rape' by principle. However, I am referring to the psychological aspect and role of the sadist. Now, according to professionals, rapists creat stories in their minds about their victims. In these stories, the victim is depicted as wanting the sex and therefore, they believe it's acceptable and justifiable. Therefore, in principle, it's the same, psychologically.

Could you really whip, beat and perhaps torture someone, even at their will? Is this abuse? Is it wrong?

I will present my views later.

Hey, whatever floats the boat, that's my view on things and it never failed me, lol.


Psychologically: It's no different for whoever is maintaining the dominant role. The difference is the other partner. Her/his mind is set purely as an agreed sexual act. Whereas in a rape, the person is not mentally or physically in agreement.


No, but it can easily lead to it. It's like a kid running with scissors, it's not harmful, but if one slip-up occurs, then it can lead to be harmful.



If that what sexually arouses both them and you, of course. Just not to an extent where it puts one of the person's life in danger.

Now this is a mildly interesting question...

I guess anyone who is into BDSM has certain thoughts about such things, apparently "being taken roughly" is a common fantasy among women so they are going to put themselves in a dangerous situation if they indeed do get off with these fantasies.

Might as well do the roleplay in relative safety rather than walking into the dodgiest bar in the universe.

http://www.slate.com/blogs/blogs/humannatu...le-arousal.aspx

I've never engaged in BDSM myself, so I wouldn't know, but I would imagine that there's a different method of using the "torture devices".

Just an idea.

But, as TPATPAM said, yeah, it's consensual. That's...kind of important.

The submissive partner in a BDSM situation will be taking in a lot of pain, but he/she agreed to it. Some people like the pain, and if that's the way they want to have sex, no one should try to stop them. I stick to the principle that what happens in a bedroom between consenting sexual partners is nobody else's business.

I'm not turned on by femdom or anything.

If both people consented to it and both realise that a meaningful NO means NO then theres nothing wrong with it. If the BDSM leads to unconsented abuse thats classified as assault (or sexual assault).

The problem that I have with BDSM is, where do you draw the line? When does playful abuse just become... abuse? From Pixel's point on the psychology behind it, the person on the 'dominant' side may be experiencing a mental state not far from where a rapist would be (in terms of thought process and fantasies), but the clear difference is that the person in the 'submissive' seat has consented to this treatment, and is prepared to suffer pain in aid of...

I'm interested about what (if any) regulation is in place for BDSM, I tried searching it up but couldn't find anything....

Sexual abuse is the forcing of undesired sexual behaviour by one person upon another, so no it isn't.


Although their mindset could be psychologically similar to that of a rapist, this doesn't mean that it's necessarily wrong, due to the fact that the submissive partner actually does want the sex, rather than being merely depicted as wanting it.


Yes. I don't see any reason why it should be wrong; everyone has their sexual fetishes and as long as all parties consent it is perfectly fine. Personally, I'm into several aspects of BDSM myself and I definitely wouldn't consider it abuse in any way.


BDSM is a controlled environment. In that kind of sexual relationship there is (or should be) a trust; they should respect each other's limits. For example, there are "safe words" to stop the scene. Furthermore, it is not "playful abuse" as you put it, as abuse implies it is non-consensual. If one person in the sexual relationship goes too far and doesn't stop when the other person asks them to, it becomes rape. Therefore, the problem would be the fact it is rape and not the fact it's BDSM. The same principle applies to "vanilla" sex.

What's BDSM? D:

Scrum Wikipedia it when your parents aren't looking.

or just read this:



Anyways if you choose to look it up and your parents catch you just tell them some Okinawan Farmer that you met on the internet told you to do it. That should make them less worried right?

EDIT: My sarcasmradar is off today i can't tell if that was a joke or not.

Without looking into exactly which "professionals" believe that, the first thing that is different between rape and BDSM is the psychological state of the "victim" (in quotes because for BDSM I would not classify them as a "victim" as they are consenting to the act, however, for rape, they are). For rape, the victim is, by definition, set against what is happening. However, with BDSM, the "victim" wants it to happen.

Assuming the "professionals" are correct, I disagree entirely about the rapist’s part. The reason there is even a "psychological" case study of them is so that the "people" who defend convicted rapists can have another defense to argue their case. Thus it is reasonable to assume that any case study is slanted towards the rapists not really having full responsibility for what they did.

Legally, BDSM, between two consenting adult parties, is not rape, simply very rough sex (from what I have read on the subject, "rough" only begins to cover it).

On a personal note, while I see no reason to engage in BDSM, I am not against those who do so (both people agreed, after all). Provided it is done inside a house, and not in public . What happens in a bedroom (or house), between two adult parties that have agreed, is not any concern of mine.

~John

Personally, I find it morally rephrensible. If people wish to engage in these relationships, however, then it is their choice. I just think there are definitely more healthier ways of having a relationship. This seems like a very self-serving relationship.

Of course it is self-serving, all relationships are at their very core self-serving...

BDSM is about power and control as is rape, sex has only a peripheral part to play in it really.

Rape fantasies as I said earlier are extremely common though both for men and women, the trouble is nowadays for a man to act upon it he would get locked up forever so he goes looking for a bdsm partner so they can play out their fantasies with a woman who also has those fantasies...99.999% of the time everything is well and good and they can get back to the office.

No one has to know about the man sized nappies and gimp mask in their bag.

BDSM from the psychological stand point you are looking at in is interesting. I think you have to consider the masochistic/submissive partner in this. BDSM often has safe words for when they want to stop, by that alone it sets it apart from rape as a consentual activity that can be stopped at any time. Where as rape is a non-consentual activity that is only stopped when one person chooses. BDSM is a form of fantasy play its no more rape then shooting someone on a video game or in paintball is murder. You also have to look at the submissives enjoyment of the activity. If you only look at it from the sadists perspective then I can see where you are drawing your conclusions but again consider the masochist.