Hi guys. This is my first story. Just the prologue and chapter 1. I'll choose to continue it if my viewers like it, what's the point of writing if no one but you will view it? Constructive criticism will be fine, I'm open to anything

-Wabbit



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Runescape

Prologue: The shipping

A girl was sobbing nearby. Why oh why, she asked herself, why did she have to do her job? Suddenly, a man walked in.
“Anything wrong Miss Tanyahosa?”
“No problems, thank you Martin.”
Martin then nodded and went away. Miss Tanyahosa then decided she would get back to work. She thought it was brutal, creating humans, then sending them away to the world of Runescape. She decided it was for the best, for her husband, in need of power. She thought the name of his empire was queer, however. Her husband wanted it called “Jagex.” She got back to work. She then picked up some clay, constructed a human, and zapped it with magicks. She sobbed again while constructing the human, for the fifteenth time that day. She then said, “You will be Brendan,” before throwing him into the portal.

Chapter 1: The beginning

“We have almost arrived at Tutorial Island,” said the loudspeakers. This was it. This day marked the official start of his life. His life as a warrior. Brendan was getting impatient. He wanted to feel the sheer joy of battling. However, in his mind he knew he had to pass the test to become a warrior. He knew it would be hard, but there were rewards. His friends he knew were waiting in this “Lumbridge” place for him. Finally, the loudspeakers yelled, “Ok, everybody off! We have reached Tutorial Island.” This was the moment he was waiting for. He stepped off the ferry, and proceeded to his first tutor.
“Welcome to Tutorial Island,” the tutor said, “What’s your name?”
Brendan replied, “My name is Brendan.”
“Well then Brendan, just step out this door to begin your training.”
Brendan stepped outside. He sniffed the air. This shouldn’t be too hard, he thought. He proceeded to a place with a woman called Brianna. “Hello there,” she said.

“Hi,” said Brendan nervously.

“Well, I’m Brianna and I’m going to show you how to chop down trees and one of the basics of cooking. First you’ll need an axe and a tinderbox.” She handed Brendan these items. “Next, you have to chop down that tree,” said Brianna.

Then, Brendan shouted, “WHAT!?!?!?”

“Don’t worry, it’s not that hard,” Brianna said calmly.

Brendan walked up to the tree and examined it. He made sure that there were no animals in it, and started chopping. After a few minutes, the work was finished. It was just like Brianna said, not very arduous. “Well done,” she then stated.

“Thanks.”

“Now to light it, you must first spark the logs by using the tinderbox, okay?”

Brendan nodded and began. At first it wasn’t lighting, but after about five seconds, it was finally lit. Then a peculiar thing happened. Brianna started growing fangs, and her skin was turning red! “B...Br....Brian.....Brianna?” he said, scared half to death.

“Ha! You humans are so foolish! Prepare to die.....”

TO BE CONTINUED

Wow, nice ending. I had totally assumed I could guess the rest of the story from the first chapter!

Pretty cool!



I'm writing my first too

It's "The Spirited Kingdom"

That line sounds a bit awkward. I don't think that "calmly said Brianna" is the proper way to put it. Maybe "Brianna said calmly" would be better. Good spelling, for the most part.

I really liked the prolouge; I thought that the idea was quite interesting. So good job on that. However, I feel the plot is moving very quickly, but that might be your intentions. All in all, I'm liking the story so far .

Yay it's a success! Anyway, I have decidied that I will accept characters

Template

Name:
Type of comat:
Gender:
Approximate age(If 9 1/2 round to 10):
General traits:
Good or evil(can be neither(so like guthix)):
A follower of the protagonist or antagonist(can be neither):
Likes(optional):
Dislikes(optional):

Example:
Name: Michael
Gender: Boy
Approximate age:20
General traits: A little stupid(never passed college), 5"7', blonde hair, 210 pounds, blue eyes, left-handed(when writing), uses melee.....ALWAYS
Good or evil: Evil
A follower of the protagonist or antagonist: neither
Likes: frogs, sticks, gnomes(especially their food), playing with horses
Dislikes: magic and ranged, pie, nutrirional food, goblins, girls

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Chapter 2: Demons of Zamorak
“Any last words?” teased the demon.

All Brendan could say was a high-pitched squeal. He prayed, hoping that help would come. He needed a miracle. The demon leaped at Brendan with outstretched claws, hoping to pierce his heart. All of a sudden, there was a bright light. The demon skidded to a stop, clearly confused. Right there and then, Brendan had found his miracle. He quickly sprinted away, and looking back he saw the demon realizing his stupidity and that the bright light was just the sun’s reflection on the lake. Then, the demon knew he wouldn’t catch up, so he skidded to a stop.

“I’ll get you one day…” it said.

Then, a portal opened, the demon jumped in, and vanished. Brendan was relieved. Did he dare go back? No, he decided to just continue on. He was certainly confused. Calming himself down, he went on to the quest tutor.

“Hello there young man!” exclaimed the tutor.

“Hi,” replied Brendan.

“I’m here to teach you about quests. Now quests are…”

Brendan thought the lecture was boring, so he let his mind wander, and the vision he saw was one of Zamorak. Now, Brendan had no idea who Zamorak was, so he decided to keep listening. Wait what was this?! He was creating demons and mouthing the words, “Kill Brendan,” with an evil smile on his face.

“No!” Brendan yelled.

“What?” questioned the tutor, “You don’t want to do quests?”

Brendan switched back to the present, realizing what he had said. Fortunately for him, he saw that he could again took advantage of what the quest tutor said, and quickly replied, “Oh no. I thought you said ‘Would you like to destroy Runescape?’”

The quest tutor, obviously baffled, just decided to say, “Oh, sorry. Anyway, just proceed down the ladder to get to your next station."

Brendan gave a curt nod, showing that he understood. He climbed down the ladder, wondering what horrors lay ahead of him. As soon as Brendan was out of sight, the quest tutor morphed into another demon. A wide smile spread across his distorted face.

"Perfect," it cackled.
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Sorry for the short chapter

I like the story so far.
But I suggest you edit the first post when you update your story, so readers don't have to read multiple posts.

Hmmm...it seems the character thingy isn't working.... please make some characters

Character making isn't as active as it use to be.

Hmmmph. Seems like it's up to me...

Psst, post in ROD, psst.

Guys sorry for no updates I'll make a longer one than usual. You can expect it to be on the weekend. Busy with school and such.....

Chapter 3 - The great feat

As Brendan proceeded down the ladder, he overheard two people - or what he thought were people - arguing over something.

"I suggest we rip him to shreds!" one demon declared.

"Delrith, your supposed to be taking over Varrock!" another one said.

"I don't care!" Delrith said.

"You should!"

"Well I don't!"

While they were arguing, they didn't notice another demon creeping up on them.

"Will you two SHUT UP?!?!?" the new demon said.

"Yes Chronozon," the other demons said simultaneously.

"Now," Chronozon said, "I sense the target coming. If you don't pull this off, I shall and will make Zamorak torture you thoroughly."

The other demons looked horrified. "Y..yes....s..si..sir," they both stuttered.

Brendan was stuck, frozen on the spot. He would have to pass these two demons, or else he would never make it to Runescape. He started down the ladder, slowly, and carefully. "Welcome!" boomed a voice. Brendan turned around and saw a man with a red shield with a dragon on it, a set of what seemed to be steel armour, and red face paint, on his face of course.

"Who are you?" Brendan queried, trying to conceal his fear.

"I am Vannaka, the greatest swordsman alive!" stated Vannaka. He waved his sword in the air, slahing through the air. Brendan didn't actually thing he was the greatest swordsman, Vannaka looked awfully tired already, and his accuracy was horrible. After a few moments, he gave Brendan a wooden shield and bronze sword, and told him to kill a giant rat in the cage next to him. As Brendan stepped in, Vannaka smirked.

"I've got you now!" he hollered triumphantly.

"NOOOOOO!" screamed Brendan, as the gates were magically locked shut. "Vannaka" started morphing, and turned into a hideous, deformed, demented demon. He flew into the rat pit, and started attacking Brendan. Brendan was horrified, frozen to the spot. When Brendan came to his senses, it was already too late. The demon slashed at Brendan with its large, sharp claws. Brendan was knocked up into the air, then came crashing down with a thud The demon laughed for a long time, and then said, "Any last words, pipsqueak?" However, it gave a large howl of pain. Brendan had managed to cut the demon's arm off with his puny bronze dagger. "How?" thought the demon. Then, as Brendan gave one more stab to the demon, it collapsed on the floor. It was struck by Brendan right on its heart.

Or what the demon thought was Brendan.