Mmkay. There are a lot of misconceptions about arranged marriage. First of all, is the misconception that arranged marriages are all forced marriages. Secondly, that there is never any choice involved on the part of the child and finally, that nobody actually does this anymore aside from hicks in really backwards countries.

Arranged marriages come in a few different flavours. You should read the wiki article to know more about it, but basically there are forced marriages, child marriages, shotgun marriages (yes. lol), introduction-only marriages, and matchmaking.

The first two marriages are probably what people think of when arranged marriages are mentioned. Forced marriages entail a lack of choice on the part of the people getting married. Compatibility and personal preference be damned, because the marriage will have to go through no matter what the kiddies think. In a child marriage, the couple are married at a very young age, even as young as babies, and are raised separately until they are adults before they go off to live together as conjugal partners (think of Apu and his wife in that episode on The Simpsons). You probably know what a shotgun marriage is, but just in case you don't, a guy knocks a girl up and then he's forced to marry the girl, presumably with a shotgun held to his head.

In the other kinds of arranged marriage, the prospective bride or groom meets up with their potential partner through the parents, after this it's up to the kids to keep up the relationship and decide whether they want to tie the knot. The most traditional kind would have parents pressure their children to accept a match that's extremely beneficial to the family. This is pretty similar to matchmaking, where the only difference is that it uses a non-parental source to "match" up them nuptial candidates, whether it be a computer program or an actual person. So yeah, if you ever hooked up with someone on a blind date, or had a friend set you up with another friend, or used one of those adult friend finder things, and so on and so on, then you were participating in a sort of arranged marriage.

Sleepy doesn't think the idea is so bad in itself. It used to be that people thought love was a product of a lot of time spent closely around a person, e.g. in the confines of marriage. Marrying for love is a pretty new concept, only around 400 years old or so, in contrast to marriage, which has been around for at least 5000. And seeing how over half of American marriages end in divorce, it kinda makes you wonder if marrying for love really works that well at all.

Thoughts?

It doesn't seem all that bad, but I don't see why two people can't make the choice for themselves. Consult your parents, sure, but the final decision of who to marry shouldn't be up to them.

Parents finding people they feel would be a good match is ok in my view as the children still have the choice over whether they are compatible. I don't agree with the other types.

The stress and conflict of having to live and 'love' someone you don't even like is unfair.

Then the question in that case must be.... What Is Love????






Now seriously, is "Love", as Sleepy said a "product of a lot of time spent closely around a person, e.g. in the confines of marriage"?

In a strange way of thinking, forcing your child to marry someone might actually end up with them in a better marriage life than if they chose for themselves.

However, I believe that that is now defunct, since most Americans don't marry very young they have the maturity and mental capacity to understand the issue and think the situation out, therefore they don't need someone to think it out for them.

Though as Sleepy pointed out we don't do a very good job, but I think that's more of a "commitment" issue.

my parents have a loving arranged mariage!!~

Shotgun marriage? I feel sorry for the guy... feel lucky that it wasn't a bazooka. Or a pack of c4.

As for the arranged marriage, Yes I think its unfair, But most likely the parents are also an arranged marriage too... so it rubs off on their kids...

And a shotgun marriage is like holding a hostage right?