As with most of my short stories, I plan to rewrite this, to improve on it. Constructive Critisism will help a lot.
My life had ended. Deaths fatal hand had grasped my body. But my mind hadn’t caught onto the fact yet.
I stood up, seemingly unharmed. I looked down and saw my mangled body. Battered and bleeding.
I didn’t understand.
I looked at my hands, but didn’t see anything. I turned around to look at my reflection in a shop window, but saw nothing.
My mind had finally caught on.
I had died and my soul had parted with my body.
Now, would I meet Jesus? Or some other type of God? This was the beginning of my afterlife.
I couldn’t take my eyes off my dead body. It looked so cold and dead. I couldn’t remember what happened.
Suddenly, the sky darkened and everything seemed to freeze.
To my right, the road began to crumble, forming a small hole in the road. Smoke clustered around it and a black shape prodded from it.
A black figure rose from the hole in a cloud of red smoke.
This figure looked a lot like the grim reaper people wrote about. Although, it looked like a skeleton cloaked in shadows and darkness
It did not carry a weapon, it came in peace. It did not wish to harm me.
Come with me, a voice sounded in my head.
I stared at the mysterious figures head, I could not distinguish its face, it was hooded with darkness.
The figure nodded and said again, Come with me.
I took a step toward it, but I was interrupted by a beam of bright, yellow light to my left, stretching down from the clouds.
Something was flying down the beam of light with amazing speed. I was in a daze trying to keep up with it.
It landed on the ground gracefully, only metres away from the hooded figure.
This figure was easily distinguishable; the light illuminated its features.
It was definitely a female; I concluded that from the beautiful face, long hair and the breasts.
On her back were white, majestic wings, they looked so amazing. She was clothed in a white robe.
She seemed to shine; this truly was the most beautiful thing I had ever seen.
Come with me, the same deep voice boomed in my mind.
I stared at the angel, waiting for her to say something.
Then she did, her voice was so sweet it was like music being played inside my head.
I do not come here to persuade you to come with me; I am an angel of Jesus Christ, your Lord and saviour.
If you come with me, you will have an eternal life in paradise. But if you go with him, you will burn in hell.
I had already made up my mind.
Then that deep voice boomed again.
She is lying. I will give you whatever you want. Women, money, power. Anything you desire I will give to you.
She is in disguise; to try and deceive you, don’t give in to her lies.
I looked at the angel. Her face was so beautiful. I had been an atheist all my life, so I didn’t really know what to do.
She is lying.
I turned back to the black figure. He pulled something out of his cloak; it was glinting in the light.
I squinted and noticed it was a handful of gold coins!
That made my mind up for me right away. I walked toward the black figure.
In the corner of my eye I saw the angel’s wings flapping as she shot back up toward the clouds. She knew what my decision was.
The black figure chuckled and beckoned for me to come quickly.
I walked faster, and I noticed he didn’t have any gold in his hand anymore.
He laughed again.
When I was standing in front of it I looked down the hole.
It was all red. It looked like there was a never ending amount of fire. I could hear distant screams.
I looked back up at the black figure, horrified. But he wasn’t there.
I glanced around, but I couldn’t see him anywhere.
I started to sob. The biggest choice of my life and I stuffed it up. The right choice was so obvious.
I heard a loud booming laughter. Then a crumbling sound, I looked down.
The road was giving way from below. I tried to run, but I was frozen to the spot.
The bitumen beneath me crumbled to dust and I fell down.
It felt like I had been falling for an eternity, then it started to get hot.
I landed abruptly, all I could see was flames.
For miles around me, there was nothing but fire.
I could feel the heat now; I started to wince in pain.
My clothes started to melt.
I stood up and ran, looking for a place to get out of this fire, this pain.
But no matter how far I ran there was nothing but flames.
I screamed in pain as the fire burned all my clothes.
My tanned body was turned red. My skin started to blister. Mucus was leaking from my pores.
My skin blistered and started to peel. All my hair was singed, the smell stung my nostrils.
I dropped to my knees and screamed with my last ounce of strength.
I heard that same deep laughter again.
I jerked my head up. That same black figure was sitting atop a giant clay throne.
I could feel the life slipping from me, again.
As I fell to the ground, the cloaked figure screamed:
WELCOME TO HELL!
Please post your comments,
Thank you.