Here it is for Riddick all spell checked and bigger.

The Knights of the Nine


Prologue:
In the time before light, when darkness ruled, the world was at its beginning. The great army of the light produced a magnificent treasure which would leave the world with hope that the darkness may subside. This hope only brought pain and suffering for the army of the light wanted payment for their treasure which they shared with the world. They attacked leaving the newly lit world in a desolate state. Only nine survived and they formed the Knights of The Nine. They became an elite group of knights who only wanted the light to shine on a beautiful, happy place not this overthrown and desolate world.

Chapter 1:
The cave was damp and cold, the small encampment was a glimmer of light in a world of nothing. The camp was deserted the only sign of life was a fire burning in the middle producing a warm glow. At first sight the cave looked normal but this was not the case. The walls were splattered with blood of some kind. The blood was fresh. It still oozed down the wall slowly eventually leaving a small pool of blood. A large figure ran into the cave shortly followed by eight others. Every single one of them had blood soaked hair and the rest of their body was red and dirty.
“We go them this time”. Sniggered the first one.
“To bad Krypts didn’t make it”. Said another pointing out the body next to the pool of blood.
“That’s just to bad he was the one who kept us all co-operating together.” Said one at the back.
“Well we’re not giving up now just because one of us is gone.” Said the first one.
These nights were the answer to this barren world but with Krypts gone there survival was in doubt.

Chapter 2:
The Great Gates of Zenifar slid open revealing a army of creature unknown to man but yet still familiar in some ways. In the distance a roar could be heard, but not the noise of an animal of and animal but of a horde of rebels heading towards the perimeter of Zenifar to reclaim the magnificent city which once was their own. Three years previously the neighbouring kingdom of Drudif had launched an attack to spread their territory. Zenifar was unaware of the attack and were left defenceless in the attack. They had been betrayed by the one thing that they could trust. The survivors retreated to a nearby fort where they rebuilt their army waiting for the day when they could take back what was rightfully theirs. This day had come and the battle of the era was about to begin.

I found a few mistakes.



This sentence doesn't make sense.

Maybe:
This hope only brought pain and suffering for the army of the light. They wanted payment for their treasure which they shared with the world.






Also, your punctuation is poor.

You wrote "We got them this time". Sniggered the first one.

When it should be:

"We got them this time," sniggered the first one.
You use a comma, not a full stop.



A description of these unknown creatures would be good, to let us picture what we are reading.


You repeated of an animal here.


I suggest removing this.


I like it so far, but it lacks detail and description.
I'm eager to read more as I'm a bit confused as to what it's going to be about.

So, please keep writing!

thanks mate your good with feedback try reading isolation one topic down

Okay, will do.

Edit- Something I forgot to add.

This story is 'The Knights Of The Nine.'

A black figure runs into the cave, followed by eight others. Which is a total of nine characters.

Now (It wasn't stated otherwise) I'm assuming 'Krypts' is a Knight. So that makes a total of ten Knights, when there is supposed to be nine.

Clarify please?

Is this a reference to the video game "The elder scrolls IV: Oblivion"? The game contains a group of ghost knights called, "the knights of the nine" and also, in the game, there is a god named zenithar and you made a city called zenifar?

Haha... I think Riddick said it all... but, my score right now is

8/10!

Please make the chapters longer