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Jordo
I personally quite like this will update it tommorow.


Isolation

Day one: Today I left my home to isolate myself from the world. I ventured into the dense jungle travelling for hours until I found a damp cave which wasn’t ideal but it would do. I sat and thought till the night trying to work out where I had gone wrong. As it got later I lit a fire to warm me but nothing could warm me right now. I was isolated as I wanted but I still wanted to be back in my warm, soft bed. I never knew what it was really like out here, I had read books but nothing would have prepared for this. I began to sleep throughout the night.

Day two: The search for water had began I knew if I was to live out here I would need water. The day was hot making me more desperate for water. I pushed through the bushes and saw a spring of water but I was worn out and I didn’t have enough power to continue the last few metres. I passed out on the ground and the flash backs began. I was in a room reading my book when I heard my parents shouting and then a crash. I ran out of my room and witnessed my dad abusing my mum demanding sex. Being 16 I had grown to be larger than my dad. My dad then hit her and my heart grew with anger I lifted a chair then...

Day three: The light came back into my eyes a regained conciseness and began to roll. My hand felt something wet and cold almost soothing in a way. Water I thought. Water. With the last of my power I rolled over into the coolness and began to drink. I regained my strength and pulled myself to my feet and looked around. It was dark I must have been out for hours. I had not placed a trail to follow my way back. Even books could have taught me back. I hit the ground in anger and noticed a foot print next to my hand, and another, and more. I remembered as I was walking over the ground was wet. The answer. I could get back.

Day four: I was lying in the cave. In the distance I could hear people calling to me. My mum. It was unfair that I left her but I couldn’t face her. Not yet. I knew if I stayed here they would find me. I had to keep moving. I started to walk away from the noises but the forest is deceiving, I heard a footstep right beside me. I peered through the bush next to me and saw a search party. I just lay still hoping for them to pass by without noticing me. Lucky for me they did. Once they passed I decided to look at the place I had once loved. It was late I had looked for hours I returned to my cave once more after remembering to place markers and I slept.
Riddick
This is quite interesting. I won't comment yet as it's only short, but I do like it.

A few things you could improve on though:

Your use of comma's.
In four paragraphs of your writing, I only spotted four comma's. There are a lot of places where you should have used them. You don't always have to use a full stop.

You swapped from past tense to present tense a few times. Keep it past tense throughout the story, it makes it flow better. If you don't it won't make sense.

Other then that and a few minor mistakes, it's good.

Good luck on writing the rest of it!
Jordo
i will fix tommorow now I must sleep thx for the advice
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