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Mr FANG
QUOTE
Poem of fear

Fear me - I am death...
but I don't fear death.
Death is me - only friend.
Why do I try to make things
better when I only make things
worse?
Fear me - I am Death...
I feel no pain - my life is painless...
I have hurt myself -
so much that I feel
no more pain - I just feel relieved after I
see the blood on my wrist -
I just wish that I would die...
FEAR ME
FOR I AM DEATH.


QUOTE
Poem of Object

How can one object be so powerful?
It holds our words
and our thoughts
together.
One object may bring happiness
another - terror.
It can destroy ones dignity
or make you want to take
revenge.
Who knows what people do - to destroy
or make happy.
But that one object always helps us vent
or it makes us squeal in excitement.
Who knows but me what that
one object is.
Is it even an object?


QUOTE
Poem of Nature

When I go outside,
And my eyes open wide,
I see nothing but grey
and despair,
more than my mind can compare.
I see death,
and destruction of all living things,
birds lying on the beach with oil in their wings.
Why do we do this?
why can't they see,
that all we are doing is hurting you and me.
Stop the violence,
stop the killing,
make peace with all,
because we all are willing.


QUOTE
Poem of Smell

The smells of spring, are enlightening.
Spring time flowers,
bring the sunshine,
and April showers.

Blue skys bring us joy,
clouds,
floating in the sky,
thinking of memories,
of when I was a lad.

A robin feeding her young,
butterflys so care free,
looking at the splendor
of the ash tree

So sweet the smell of spring,
and what joy it does bring,
after winter, spring is finally here.
The smells of spring, are enlightening.


QUOTE
Poem of own creation

Work work work work, work work work work, work work work work
STOP! - and
do nothing,
'cause there is nothing to do
even though there is always something to do
but why would you do that?
Stay up.
No sleep.
Go to sleep.
Peace,
except not?
Because the brain still says 'Go!',
when you say
'No, Rest!'
No Rest.
Come back to reality!
You never left,
did you?


I posted these on a few other places, and they really liked them, so I thought I'd share them with sals. What do you guys think?
Lidias
The poem of object i liked as it has hidden meanings. You use a lot of repeat words/themes, that's my only real issue. Otherwise not bad.
Hardrune13
Pretty awesome poems.
I printed them off their so good! santa.gif
Lets just hope I don't turn them in as my english assignment. aware.gif
hlow
There are periods in these poems.
King of Khairo
QUOTE (Lidias @ Nov 1 2009, 04:58 PM) *
The poem of object i liked as it has hidden meanings. You use a lot of repeat words/themes, that's my only real issue. Otherwise not bad.


I liked this poem as well for the reason of having hidden meanings.
Adam?
QUOTE (King of Khairo @ Nov 2 2009, 08:47 PM) *
QUOTE (Lidias @ Nov 1 2009, 04:58 PM) *
The poem of object i liked as it has hidden meanings. You use a lot of repeat words/themes, that's my only real issue. Otherwise not bad.


I liked this poem as well for the reason of having hidden meanings.

Yes, I too enjoy those types of poems.

Does anyone remember that poem that used symbolism and conveyed a meaning that wasn't entirely obvious when you first read it? It also had stopped mid-sentence sometimes.
Lidias
I've written a few of those, some posted on here but most not.

Anyway don't put periods in the poems, as hlow said. It disrupts the flow. If it's structured properly the pauses will be there when you need them.
Mr FANG
thanks for the feedback, guys. I might actually continue writing this stuff biggrin.gif.
unreal reaper
Amazing poems, The poem of my own creation was very interesting, as was the poem of object and poem of nature smile.gif
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