So I actually mainly came back to mention NationStates somewhere but wow this place has gotten really quiet :(
I dated that girl for a few months and she has super severe borderline and basically wanted to cut my eggplant off. Oh well, live and learn
Anyway what's up with you guys I work in insurance now at a State Farm agency
THE LAST TIME I UPDATED THIS BLOG WAS IN 2015. GOD DAMN.
I AM SO DIFFERENT NOW HOLY FUDGE.
Whooooooooooo where do I even start. Man. Yikes. Been a minute.
Let's see. I've lost a few pounds. I have pectoral muscles and biceps worth a damn and getting better by the day. I have an actual haircut now that I go to a barber and I wear cologne.
I'm still kind of a virgin but that ends tomorrow. Yes! I'm getting laid on Valentine's Day. Pretty exciting, not gonna lie. And in fact, the lucky lady is the subject of a LOT of the changes in my life.
So, where we last left off, I was a very, VERY lonely atheist, stuck at a Christian college with basically no friends except a very accommodating roommate who didn't know I was an atheist at the time.
Since then, I've gotten in with and fallen out of a group of atheists at the Christian college I was attending which then led me to quit said college. I'm sitting at like three hours short of an associate's degree. Let's try to avoid talking about school it's kind of a self-conscious thing. I'll explain why I'm struggling with that later.
BUT I met these atheists on Yik Yak. And that's also where I met the most amazing person ever, even if she was a goddamn wreck when I met her. God. Here's a fun love story for you.
I met this girl on Yik Yak. She was trolling for validation, basically. Convinced she was a lesbian and a Christian and wanted to kill herself out of sheer self-hatred.
I'm bisexual, ok? I've been in a Christian environment. I realize looking back there were TONS of signs that I was bi dating back to my earliest experiences with sexual feelings. I know what it's like to be “an other” among Christians. My heart was broken. I couldn't stand to see someone so abused by a religion.
So I left some message details. She messaged me. We talked a bit. I met her in the student center once when one of the other atheists on campus (a black pansexual libertarian who was in ROTC—he's a character unto himself) hugged her for a bit.
She told me later that his decision to hug her is why she ended up not attempting suicide that night.
But there were more attempts. Lots and lots of failed suicide attempts. The last attempt was attempted suicide by cop. She had tried to find rope to hang herself and didn't know where to look for it. I did a highly illegal thing which I will not specify that day. It was supposed to make her suicide easier.
She told me later that my decision to just be present and do what I did is the real reason she didn't look for rope. Her suicide by cop attempt failed on purpose. She didn't know how else to get help.
I don't know the names of the Greenville County Sheriff's deputies who found her that night. All I know about them, from what she told me, is that they had taken optional courses on dealing with mentally ill and suicidal subjects and were trained on how to coax them down. I don't know their names. But if I find out, when I'm crazy rich, I swear to god I will pay for their kids to go to college. They deserve it. Bless them.
I thought she had killed herself, though. She went dark on social media and messaging apps for nine agonizing days. I cried more than once. I didn't know how to cope.
Then, just as quickly as she vanished, she reappeared and told me what happened. She was admitted to the psych ward against her parents' demands. Thank god South Carolina has laws allowing police to do that. Thank god she was already over 18.
The doctors prescribed her Prozac and she was officially diagnosed with depression. Like, wow, what a shock, mirite? A suicidal person happens to be depressed.
But man, she was totally different. There were still bad days. But they became fewer and fewer. She met a guy, thought she might marry him, but they abruptly broke up. She tried to get with a guy who was a fervent Christian while her Christianity by this point was very much wavering. I recognized the signs of a domestic abuser and warned her away from him. She took my advice.
So, at this point, we're getting into November of 2016. This is when things get REALLY interesting.
Back in June I had decided to go on a trip with my sister to Indonesia where my parents still live and do whatever the hell it is they're doing anymore. We were going in December for the hols. I'd been hyping it up to, fudge it, we'll call her by her name, Audrey, for months. Her parents lived in Puerto Rico for years as did she (her mom is apparently part of some big gospel singing family in PR, or something. So yeah, my first time will be with a girl who's half-Latina, who decided to make all my dreams come true?) so of course she was jealous as hell. We hung out a couple more times, we're both a bit awkward in person though. For now, at least.
I went on the trip. She was still struggling for closure with her ex and I just stayed there supporting her and telling her she's fine, she's a good person, you know. Being a friend. But by the end of the trip, the tenor changed.
I sent her an Instagram post. It was innocuous. Just some picture with text with something about how you're going to make a great mom or whatever. It was cute and I thought it totally applied to her so I sent it and said I'm jealous of whoever you end up marrying because he's lucky as hell.
Now, I should insert at this point that a) it's 4:30 so I might be a bit incoherent, and b) I've now read Models and I swear by Mark Manson's philosophy of honesty in relationships. None of the shizzle I've said up to this point to her was in any way manipulative. I've just flown by the seat of my pants and said whatever was on my mind. Up to this point, I never, I swear to god NEVER had any intention of sleeping with her or even kissing her. In fact, I was kind of relishing the fact that I had this friend who I could talk about sexual stuff with who was hot and that we wouldn't get more entangled than that.
Well, if you couldn't already tell from how this was all prefaced, THAT CHANGED.
Her response was chock full of crying emojis and basically she said that she was almost in love with me and that I was the best thing that had ever happened in her life (which I can totally believe not that it says much about me unfortunately). We agreed that we were going to eventually sleep together but she said she wanted to be able to be more emotionally detached from sex. Like not feel like she needed to marry every guy she ever touched. I agreed, because I recognized long before this point that neither of us is really cut out for full-blown monogamy. We'll have our favorites in the long term, but there will always be little side flings no matter who we stay with as the person you'd introduce as your “significant other.” We're too sexual for anything more constrained than that.
But basically, at this point, I knew the clock was ticking. We were going to have sex. It was a matter of when and where and under what circumstances. So, being me, I just accepted it. After all, at this point, the only roadblock was all in my head. And it would, as it turned out, melt away pretty quickly.
All this was happening literally as I was on the way to the airport to fly out of Indonesia. So it was pretty crazy. But my life is pretty crazy, like damn bro I'm used to this.
So after I got back we hung out again. Audrey was scared that her parents might kick her out and she needed help learning how to live on her own. So we sat down over some NOO YAHK pizza and I taught her some basics. How to pay bills. How to take care of her car. You know, basic adult shizzle her parents weren't going to teach because as an Independent Fundamentalist Baptist, she was expected to remain dependent on her parents until she got married and then she would be dependent on her husband. Fudge logic.
All the while, her mental state was improving. After some early forgetfulness I got her into the habit of taking her Prozac and her contraception on time based on the prescriptions. And finally, about five days ago, we got into a conversation.
It started when I was complaining about being a virgin. It was kinda selfish, I guess. She was offering ideas but in fairness none were really workable. And then she said something I didn't expect.
“Well, why not me?”
It was like
Yup, that's me. You're probably wondering how I ended up in this situation.
I knew of only one way to respond.
I was all in.
We set it up for a day off we had in common. That day happened to be Valentine's Day. We didn't even realize it until Saturday.
We've been constantly sending each other sexy texts and getting each other revved up for this. We've also had very mature, adult conversations about what's ok and what's not and what we're going to do and how we're going to do it. And yes, I bought condoms. No, I'm not going to double wrap. I'm a virgin, not a moron.
She was telling me the other night about how she feels like a [insert word meaning “woman of loose morals” here] but that she has needs. I understand. I know. I know because I've been here this entire time, watching her struggle to find guys who can satisfy her or guys who don't treat her like crap. She's not very good at picking them out yet. But I'm helping her learn.
But over the course of our conversations the last couple of days, I'm starting to wonder if I've really been the one steering us in this direction. It was a lot of shizzle testing and other silliness, but suffice it to say I now have pretty solid evidence to suggest that in spite of the fact that she's screwing around with a lot of other guys, she's had her eye on me as her bae for a long time. And now she just wants to take that first step toward making it official.
Here is my problem. My mom is a social media FBI surveillance van. And Audrey has put her religion down as Satanist on her profile. So being open about any relationship (which I know at this point, will be inevitable) is going to invite a lot of unwanted questions. Bear in mind, two and a half years later, I'm STILL in the closet with my parents.
The only reason we're not basically planning to change our relationship status the day after is really just practicality. She needs a place to live and I can't fully provide that right now. She's going to move in with this guy. She's trying to use her relationship (such as it is) with him to test me and see if I'll be a piece of shizzle or not. But I already know I'll pass, because I'm not like her exes. I'm different. But she has to find that out first.
I strongly hinted at the outcome. I've had a knack for calling things in advance. I think it's just because she's a bit predictable and I have the experience which I've gained through observing others in so many similar situations.
I know where this road takes us. We're going to be way more than fudgebuddies in a pretty short span. Today, she says she doesn't like labels. But that's going to change.
The guy she's basically using to test me, she mentions me to him. But where she tells me he has creepy desires and tells me other embarrassing things about him, she says of me that she “doesn't talk about anything embarrassing. Just that you need some help with picking up chicks.”
Which…she's not wrong. Haha. But in the context of why she said that, it answered the real question I was subcommunicating. I was asking if I was more important to her or if he was.
I got my answer. She gave it to me loud and clear over the next fifteen minutes.
I'm more important.
Man, relationships are weird.
Guess I'll turn and face the strings.
I have a new car, a new lease on life, a discovery about myself, and more! Billy Mays here so you better shut your whore mouth when I talk to you!
I bought a 2002 VW Passat wagon! It's amazing. It's not fully fixed up yet but it's getting there! (picture taken in downtown Greenville, for the curious)
New job: been working at a different Domino's store since May. Woo~ my boss is kind of a nice doggy! but oh well.
Back in school! Yay! My classes are pretty alright! Yay!
Also I discovered I'm kind of sort of slightly bisexual. Yay!
So yeah that's all for now.
Yeah I guess I'll get the bad stuff out of the way first.
My car needs a new catalytic which is more of a nuisance than an actual struggle since I have the funding for it. I got an attendance failure in a class because of the professor refusing to credit multiple absences forced upon me by the school. Pretty lame but I should have a fix for the latter on Monday. Speaking of Monday.
IT'S TIME TO INTRODUCE A NEW CAST OF CHARACTERS.
A LOT has happened since my last blog so let's get a quick refresher on who some pseudonyms are.
Brony Boss: Brony Boss is the temporarily-disgraced head of student broadcasting at my school. He spends entirely too much time playing XBox and not enough on his schoolwork so he now has something like a 1.2 GPA. Smells weird. REALLY loves Twilight Sparkle on a level bordering on creepy. Somehow has a girlfriend.
Roommate: My roommate. Big guy. Has no fashion sense. Somehow has a girlfriend.
Beta Society Fellow: Member of the historical fraternity/sorority mashup on campus. High-ranking member of the History Club. Very beta guy.
Beauty Queen: Vice President of the History Club. Classmate. Possible love interest (more on this later). Bizarrely single.
There will be other recurring characters who aren't relevant for the purposes of what's happened. If they become more important later I'll add them. This cast is getting sidebarred, btw, you're going to want to remember all of these people.
So, this past summer, I got into a bit of a funk, things got pretty bad, and I also became an atheist somewhere in there. I'm still kind of working out some things, like am I really an atheist etc. I'm considering returning to Christianity as sort of a cultural identity but idk, still working that stuff out.
I had some issues getting back into school due to grades but I went back and reviewed what my problems were and how to fix them and I can say quite definitively that it has worked. Holy shizzle has it worked. While things aren't perfect, they're vastly improved.
At 9:25 on Tuesdays and Thursdays I have a class called Modern China. I was very interested in taking this class due to the relevance it would have to my career plans. I managed to get it accepted for my curriculum much to my delight and it has been beyond amazing. This is where BSF (much easier, don't you think?) and BQ come in.
I initially had noticed BQ almost at the start of class. She has a sort of '60s flair to everything she wears (I can dig it) and she's generally a well-put-together sort of person. I don't mean that in the sense of "OMG LOL SHE SO HOT" so much as she just looks right. Y'know? But I didn't think much of it because of course I'm working off the assumption that anyone I meet here is a religious fundamentalist. No harm, no foul.
To quote Jon Stewart:
"But harm! And foul!"
Because if there's anything I've learned about myself, it's that I don't know when to say no sometimes.
So the Modern China class is a senior-level class. I'm now a junior so that's not too strange, but it seems a lot of people in class have been...struggling. So BQ (being an honors student) decides that we should put together a study group for the whole class to get ready for the midterm. She went up to everyone one day before class and told them to use her laptop and facebook account to add her on facebook.
You should know how I am with instructions.
I promptly did nothing because I was paying fudge all attention to what she was saying. I am not a very smart man.
So, fast-forward to Sunday. I'm at work and I realize what I've done, or rather, what I've not done (I AM NOT A VERY SMART MAN). So I got on facebook on my phone and sent her a friend request because why not, right?
This turned out to be an excellent decision. Which you might recognize as the opposite of what is supposed to happen because this is my life and all I do is fudge things up.
The next week, she messaged me on facebook on Monday night asking if I was busy. They were having a study group for the midterm the next day. I had nothing better to do, so I was like "w/e I guess I'll go."
The study group was alright and I got to make some contributions others deemed worthy. The next day, shizzle got real.
Nobody was told that we had to have blue books for the exam. So the entire class traipsed out to the bookstore to get exam booklets. BQ got ahead of me at first, and then stopped and was like:
"I'll catch up with you guys, I want to talk to Demon Jelly."
Enter Beta Society Fellow, a man of medium height and absolutely nothing to make him stand out as an interesting person. He even has a monotone voice to go with this. So me, BQ, and BSF all walk and talk (well, BSF tried to talk but got drowned out by BQ wanting to talk to me, so heh) to and from the bookstore. BQ also brought up things I had posted like...two or three months prior on facebook. This was my second hint.
We took the midterm. Professor said after grading that I had the best answers on military and economic questions, even better than the two ROTC guys in the class. He didn't just tell me that. He said that in front of the class.
Any time I took a pic of stuff I was reading and posted it on facebook, BQ liked it.
Any time I posted a status about anything remotely serious, BQ liked it.
This has been going on now for about a month. So finally, I made a plan.
After some stumbles, it happened this past Thursday. I caught up with her after class and she started to chat me up again. BSF tried to butt in again (and failed).
Finally, I did it.
I asked her out.
She said yes.
Also, a thing that happened that should never happen in real life: mentioning to a girl that you are subscribed to Foreign Policy magazine, and she not only even knows what that is but is actually impressed by it. Forgot to mention that happened less than a minute before I asked her out.
What the hell did I do right?
Wow so who wants to hear how I fudged up.
I had an 8am final. Super lame.
We have these things called exam passes (idk if these are normal at other schools tbh), normally you go to administration and get a sticker but this semester they changed it so you print them off or show them to professors on your phone. I chose the former route. Mainly because I didn't know about the latter until later.
So, I go to the library at 7:40 in the morning to print off my exam pass, which is way the hell before my wakeup time.
I'm sitting there at the library waiting for this stupid damn computer to boot up, when out of the corner of my periphery, I see this pink shape heading my way. I look over and realize it is a qt 22/7 in a pink hoodie. And she's sitting next to me. This is trouble.
“Excuse me, I don't have any paper left on my printing account and need to print off an exam pass, can you let me use your printing account to print one off?”
Well sure, I said, that's fine. I made some joke about the computer being slow, not realizing that a) I may have just signaled that I thought she was cute and thus if she was thinking the same I had just royally fudged up because I was in no mental state to start macking, and b) I was already ridiculously focused on not skettying. Which meant I had just doomed myself to going full-on /tv/.
So I printed mine off and she thanked me for a third time (helllloooooooo Earth to TJ please respond) and I headed for the door.
That's when I realized. After she had chatted me up in a situation where SHE APPROACHED ME I hadn't even asked her what her name was.
The only thing I could think as I walked out the door?
did I mention I have binged seasons 1-4 of Archer? Because I've binged seasons 1-4 of Archer.
The shizzle I hear at this school, man.
Where do I even begin? Do I start with the girl who said we need a war in Crimea so Jesus will come back? Or the guy who think America will have no laws in 20 years?
Maybe it's best to summarize like so—I highly doubt I will get engaged to anyone at this school. I am even seriously doubting if I want to ask any of the girls here out or anything. It's fudging weeeeeird, yo. I know South Carolina is like, super conservative, and more conservative than Georgia, but this is ridiculous (lilshu please back me up here carolinabro).
I mean, it's so bad I'm about ready to try my hand at OKCupid. This shizzle is ridiculous. That's not touching on my housemate, though.
“Homosexuality, I mean, like, dudes bangin' other dudes, that's like, the worst sin imaginable.”
“Illinois is going to become the eighteenth state to legalize gay marriage. Doesn't that scare you?”
(my response, after a pause: “no.”)
“Man, like, I want to be a cop, you know, a po-lice officer. But I don't know if I'll have any laws to enforce in twenty years.”
And of course, my personal favorite:
“I don't even see the girls here, like, sexually, or anything. They're just God's little babies, you know?”
What the hell did I get myself into? At least (most) of the professors aren't this batshizzle insane.
So, I'm in South Carolina now, right in the heart of fudgenut country.
But it could be worse. I'm in a degree field that I actually enjoy, my classes are pretty okay, life is p good.
I also started a blog about foreign policy, which if you're interested, you can find here, a twitter account for here, and a facebook like page for here.
Otherwise I'm trying to plan out my courses for next semester. I'm doing pretty well in my classes so far. I apologize to my millions of Salmonian fans for not being a more regular fixture in the forums.
Ladies and gentlemen of Salmoneus shizzle is moving fast.
My acceptance to New School is inevitable now, bearing on when they get my transcripts. I'm moving up to South Carolina on the 14th. Still not 100% set on a major yet. I'll be visiting a couple of professors to get some reads.
I got my car back on Monday. The bill is paid.
I got my citation paid on Monday.
Sooo yeah things are kind of ridiculously awesome right now.
So, my car is stuck in the shop until…I'm not sure, exactly, I'm calling about the date tomorrow. But my car is in the shop because I had an oopsie.
For any of you Salmonians who live in Athens, GA, you'll know where this is. For those who don't, I'll try to spell out the locations as best I can. I was driving into Athens to see my counselor. It was a rainy day so I was being extra careful. On I-85 I hit some pretty serious buffeting so I was taking it easy on US-441 leading into Athens.
I got on the Perimeter and headed toward Prince. I got to the exit ramp, and there was an Explorer in front of me signaling right. But there was a problem. She was in a left turn lane. I was slowing up behind her, anticipating the yellow light ahead. I lost my footing on the brake, so I let off a smidge to get back on…but I let off more than I thought, hit the brakes too hard to compensate, and slammed into the back of a car that I thought had gone through the intersection.
So I have a $2500 repair bill and a citation that will run me under $100 for following too closely. The chick in front of me had her car in park at a red light, in front of the line.
What the fudge, life.
Wow, I hate to be that guy who states the obvious about small-town Georgia, but…
This town is fudged up.
Once upon a time there was a girl who went here. She was pretty and she had potential. Somewhere along the line she decided to quit school and started sleeping with the manager of a local gas station that's currently about a month away from going bankrupt. So there's that.
I've got friends here in relationships they know are going nowhere but they're trying to keep the spark there.
Fudge, man…I feel like I'm actually going through some normal struggles right now. I mean, trying to pass enough classes to get out of here and transfer to someplace that isn't…well…depressing as hell. While juggling a job, that is.
Geez. I'm so not used to being the one with normal problems.
So yeah I've got a job now and life is p okay. I got accepted back into my school so hopefully I can get my GPA up and get the hell out of here in January.
My sig is still terribad.
And that song link should rotate every now and again. I'll change it from time to time.
So in case you somehow didn't figure it out I'm a brony.
Been in the herd for close to a year now. I dunno why I didn't say anything until now. But Phoenix knew cos he's a bro.
Comment on it and call me a flamer.
Of course, much at the behest of Phoenix Rider and otherwise every nerd ever, I have pics! 56k murder and genocide.
This collection is not conclusive. Ask me if you want any others. I've got some awful ones of me, and some other ones of things not worth including imo. When I hit the fighter pics, I'll warn you, I'll go into full Dos Gringos mode.
The Me-262 Schwalbe. Germany's first jet fighter!
The X-4 missile. Designed to be controlled by the pilot, it had sensors that would detonate it when it was near a B-17's engine roar.
Few things say "America, fudge yeah!" like a P-51D bubble-top, amirite?
And few things say "lol jew-killers" like the Bf-109.
Astute viewers may have noticed this looks like a Okha kamikaze, but the kamikaze planes weren't orange. Well, that's because this was a trainer. It had 2000 pounds of ballast in the nose to simulate flying with the bomb.
This is an NKC-135A, which was a testbed for, of all things, lasers.
And this 'ere is a closer shot of the dome with the laser in it.
This is me standing to—is that an alien spacecraft? No, it's actually just a VTOL aircraft shaped like a saucer.
The XF-85 Goblin was an American experiment in parasite fighters.
Me looking presidential and shiz on the Air Force One used by my #2 favorite President—Nixon.
Me standing next to my X-Plane baby—the X-29. God I love it.
A closer look at the groups involved in this plane's development.
Honestly, the X-36 is pretty legit.
The YF-23 has a nice ass.
That big thing is the only surviving XB-70 Valkyrie prototype.
Here's the cool tails of the YF-23, along with the massive XB-70.
Here's the Tacit Blue concept aircraft.
This is the YF-23's nose at a 3/4 view. Look familiar? It drew some inspiration from the Tacit Blue.
And the YF-23's nose, straight on.
A fan favorite. The Harrier's revolving jet up close.
The Bell X-5 is a blatant ripoff of Kurt Tank's Ta-183 design, which influenced many post-war jet designs.
The XB-70 . The XB-70 is my favorite bomber ever, with the only other one coming close is the B-58 Hustler (which I also saw but did not photograph).
*Demon Jelly clears throat
The most beautiful girl that I did ever see
I dreamt that I would one day get inside her
I finally had my way
I ride her every day
She's the only one for me and she's a Viper!
MOM TOOK THIS ONE TOO SOON. But yeah that's me standing near a Thunderbird F-16.
And if you drive the Stinkbug, then drink it on your own…
My mom lived under the takeoff corridor for MacDill, and my dad lived under the landing corridor. My mom's dad was in the USAAF. And this was what was landing and taking off constantly during the Cuban Missile Crisis—the F-104 Starfighter. Sadly this is about the best pic I have :(
Modern muthafudgin air power. The F-muthafudgin'-22 Raptor.
Kim No-Suk's MiG-15, the only North Korean fighter pilot defector of the early Korean conflict. He didn't even know he would receive $100,000 for bringing a MiG-15 to the UN forces, all he wanted was American citizenship for himself and his mother. His decision greatly benefited the US in terms of aircraft development. His flight was documented in Chuck Yeager's Air Combat, and I've flown it many times. Very exciting to see the plane I had flown in a game!
This is a Predator drone. And I should have had the flash on.
I know a guy who used to fly Skyraiders, he flew them in Vietnam.
My first connection to Dos Gringos—both of the guys were friends with Col. Olds.
fudge yah fishbeds
And lastly, the Lead Sled. The F-105 Thunderchief.
No, really, it's not bad to like it. She's a purty old bird, even if she's heavier than she looks.
So, I've been a cool kid and haven't been around for like two weeks. I know, I'm such an goosedown. Well, I've not had much web access in that time.
In the meantime I went to Wright-Pat and decided I never want to set foot in the Midwest again.
Pics coming later.
Well let's see.
Chronological order, please. *touches fancy touch screen which proceeds to scroll back*
Uhhhhh…okay, there we go.
-Now playing: Fortunate Son - Creedence Clearwater Revival-
So first there was the intramural field. My roommate and I were there for a softball game, but it wasn't for another hour. Another game went before us. We saw some of one of the teams slowly trickling in, and then…Cadet.
Yeah, she drove in and showed up at the softball field. Around this time one of my friends had gotten her student ID stuck between the sidewalk and the gym (???), and I proceeded to distract myself with methods of extracting the ID card. To distract myself even more I went back to the dorm to get keys to get the card out. I came back and it had been retrieved, of course. By Cadet, naturally.
-Now playing: Born Too Slow - Crystal Method-
My roommate said it was because of "her skinny fingers" lulz. I don't get where everyone gets this whole skinny thing. Maybe I'm just not paying enough attention. Meh.
So my roommate was being a k00l guy and being a second catcher. Cadet walked over and my roommate asked why she was at the intramural field.
"I'm playing on a team."
"I don't know what it's called, but it's a bunch of nerds, someone else, and me."
"You…don't get it, do you?"
At this point I was a little annoyed with my roommate swallowing his own tongue at a joke he had made not 15 minutes earlier.
"He doesn't get it, but I did."
I gave her a sly grin and we chatted a bit. My roommate didn't talk to her even though he was standing between us, the Johnson.
-Now playing: Highway To Hell - AC/DC-
So that was nice. I don't think she hates me anymore, I'll take it. Good enough for government work.
Then, some time passed and it was Sunday. One of my good mates asked me if I was up to much and I told him no, I wasn't. One of the students who is married and lives off-campus was having a birthday so some guys were gonna chill at his place. After some confusion we hung out in the terrace commons for a few minutes and chatted about random shizzle. It was pretty cool. We were talking about scholarships and the following exchange occurred…
"Athletic scholarships are bullshizzle. Colleges pay players to play sports and not be intelligent."
Me: "Well, who needs smart minds when we can have big Johnsons?"
It's worth noting that this was after 10 minutes of talking and I'd said precisely one word prior. Everyone in the room busted out laughing. It was grrrrreat. "Dude, you haven't said anything and then you came out with that, you're a total badass."
Went over to the place, there was cigarettes and hookah, generally legit. I didn't partake because I was feeling like shizzle for some reason, nausea or whatever. Then I named my current motto.
-Now playing: Spirit In The Sky - Norman Greenbaum-
My current motto of course is "if you're a cabbage-lover, get out of my face." Which resulted in laughter. And being called a badass again.
I'm just going to throw out at this point that I'm going to a school that is a Bible college.
A little later I said something else which got me called a badass again. And the guy whose birthday it was said "I need to make a twitter called shizzle Demon Jelly Says." (subbing out my real name ._.)
Then on Monday night I hung out with them again, it was pretty legit. We spent an hour at Waffle House placing bets on the next guy to come out at our school. We also debated whether the next one would be found out due to sexual harassment (as the most recent comer-out did), or through consensual activities with someone else.
Then we went back to the married guy's house and watched the Michael Keaton Batman and watched a guy play Red Dead Redemption Undead Nightmare. That was pretty awesome.
So that's my life. And I start a job on the 20thish, and classes not long before.
-Now playing: Paranoid - Garbage-
So I gave up being high on life because what the fudge, right?
Meh. A month and a half, and a lot of not seeing TGIL later, and she's dangerously close to just disappearing from the TGIL position. Especially due to some unusual realizations over the past…24 hours. Okay, 36. But still. If she would just get her ass up here so I could hang out with her again she would be in really great shape. Personally I'm going with it's her own damn fault if she can't be arsed into doing anything besides girl's day out over nine thousand times.
As for the sudden realizations…
I didn't realize how much sexual tension has developed between myself and Cadet until yesterday. Probably around the time where she gave me a dirty look because ??? yesterday was where I figured this out and officially came to the conclusion later in the evening. And no, I'm not going to accept stopping 20 feet short of her in the car as a good reason for her to give me a dirty look. I don't glare at people for stopping at a crosswalk. That's sociopath shizzle.
But seriously, like, it's gotten to the point where we give each other weird looks anytime we cross each other's paths like it's a weird thing, or we suspect the other is following on purpose. It's gotten a little bit weird now and frankly I think someone needs to break the tension so it bloody well should be me since I started this whole mess. I guess? I dunno. Knowing who she hangs out with now and who will replace those folks when they graduate (they all graduate this semester), I should probably either plan to do something about it next semester or do something about it in the last week of classes, which is next week. Something's got to give or else we're in for an awkward two years. And I'm not really down for two years of perpetual awkwardness.
I'm always really reticent about moving on either though. I feel like I'm more afraid of the positive outcome being the outcome I shouldn't be aiming for, it's kind of weird. I think I need to let go of some ego issues, personally. I need to get this out of the way though. Speaking of getting things out of the way, I need to change advisers and declare a major. Sometime. Ever would be good.
For the record, I am never high on life. So don't expect this to be a routine entry title, or anything resembling it.
But dude I'm so high on life right now. I got the most exhilarating text ever tonight.
"Hey you :P"
I had given TGIL my number earlier in the day, so I was like "well, surely…" and then I looked at the number. "But not possible…this isn't a Georgia number." I looked it up. Wikipedia said northern Minnesota so I was like "double-you tee eff." So I texted back, and guess who.
Oh hellz yeah. So we ended up texting for half an hour, shooting the shizzle a little bit. She heavily insinuated she wants to see me again. My day was boring until this. Now it went from boring to fudging awesome. Ball me blazer.
Dagnabbit I need to make my move already.
Well, suffice it to say, this sucks.
TGIL was telling me last week that she was too busy to come up here at the time. So today, she came up and watched a movie with some girlfriends.
I know she wants to tell me something and yet she repeatedly avoids opportunities to bring it up, which, I know, I do it sometimes, but I know other people must be like "wtf is his problem?"
Oh, wait, what…why would…and…
Well, this is awkward. Now she just said she was here on facebook chat and I said that I knew. This got awkward reeeeeally quickly since she's not responding and all.
LIVE BLOG TIME LOL
0024: She seems to have the world's worst internet connection, because I think it really did take three minutes for her to receive that last message.
0026: Well, that's a good sign.
0034: Yikes, that was all really awkward. I hope we can be a little bit more normal when she comes up next week. Gah.
This concludes a day in the life of me. D:
Yeah I'm bored so I'm going to write about djent-progressive metal and a band called Thanatopsis.
First of all, I am an unabashed fan of Animals As Leaders. Why? How on EARTH can you not love this? Beauty and brutality in one clean package. Never mind the fact that it's a rather complex tune. Periphery is another one of my favorites.
is All New Materials, the original instrumental.
I have to thank for discovering these bands a friend at school who knew Misha Mansoor from metal forums and ended up befriending him. On the rare occasions he goes to Periphery shows, he often heads backstage and just shoots the shizzle with the guys. Really talented and a great listen all around. Animals As Leaders is led by a guitarist named Tosin Abasi, who is basically amazing. Both Abasi and Mansoor are amazing guitarists.
Speaking of amazing guitarists, some of you may have heard of a guitarist by the name of Buckethead. Well, he's recently been working with a group called Thanatopsis, and
It wouldn't be out of place at a bow-and-tie affair, while also being quite apparently progressive rock, as opposed to just boring elevator music. Also very complex arrangements, all of it is just really encouraging to me. Granted, none of the great stuff is ever really successful, but even current higher-quality mainstream music just isn't that good in my opinion. I feel like anymore you have to dig up underground music scenes like the djent scene to find stuff that's worthwhile.
Never mind that Jedi Mind Tricks' DJ is white whaaaaat. Okay, Italian. But that's not your typical white rapper, even. :P
Like, okay, so listening to Thanatopsis is like a brain bleach to anytime I read moronic debates or stupid arguments that the US is a socialist communist nazi country now. I can replenish lost intelligence with this stuff. It's beauty and brutality, yin and yang, amazing. Inspiring. Worth some time.