It's been a crazy, eventful year.
I spent the first 6 or so months of the year juggling working too much at a fast food restaurant and trying to do my A levels. It wasn't fun, but just like famed singer and one of the greatest humans to ever live, Daniel Bedingfield, I got through it. The whole time I was excited to just get it over and done with - after a summer where I continued to work too much, didn't sleep that much at all, and spent an inordinate amount of time discussing football tactics on Twitter and watching the U21 Euros, I got my grades, my place at university, and even managed to finish working. Given that I didn't have a weekend off until late September - when I moved to uni - it's very odd to say I've not done any work since then. Will probably have to change that in the new semester, as a weekend job would be pretty useful, but still.
University is probably the thing that's changed the most about me. I'm somehow more disciplined in my sleeping patterns, which perhaps says more about what I was like before, but given that all my lectures are at 9am you really have to be in control about things. I've realised I can adapt pretty well to most situations and have no trouble looking after myself, I've cried drunkenly under a girl's bed at 2pm for no real reason, and I've made a group of good friends with whom I'm not always the running joke of the group.
Life is good. If 2014 continues on this trajectory, it'll be the best one yet
Turned 18 a few weeks ago. As is expected of someone who's turned 18, I've been ruining my liver/enjoying* dancing in a warm room ever since.
That's when I'm able to. Unfortunately I'm in Year 13 and that means a lot of work. I'm trying to get all my coursework done as soon as possible so I can focus on my small amount of summer exams (having sat my English Language exam in January rather than the summer). I have the motivation to do so, what with having offers from the two universities I had my heart set on going to, but I have spent most of the half-term break looking into life at the universities even more, just because I really want to be there now.
It's great being so close to something I've been working towards for such a long time. That's always been the real incentive!
I hope you are all enjoying yourselves so far this year and are close to achieving your goals too :)
*as far as I can recall
So much has changed. I've hardly had time for Sal's since the site overhaul (just posting in a few threads pretty much), even though I wanted to stay active. Oh well. I've had a job for 7 months with a "reputable" multinational fast food chain. You might have heard of it. It's the home of the Big Mac.
I've also had a lot of work in school. And I've had uni offers! And I've struggled to wake up every day for 2 months because I'm not happy with all of this shizzle I have on my plate.
Anyway, that brief overview of the last 7/8 months or so is over. Now, onto something that hasn't changed. Girls.
Well, it has changed a bit. I'm relatively successful now, at least in the whole flirting bit. A girl from work and I have been exchanging smiles, favours and jokes for quite a while now and today she sort of hugged me from behind. It was nice. I think she might like me. I am looking forward to seeing her next weekend and hopefully moving closer towards a place where it won't be awkward to ask her if she wants a hot beverage.
I mean, I could just talk to her on facebook but I'd have to come up with an excuse for that. So unless I have a brainwave, I'll update this next Saturday.
Just wrote the most angsty, stupid letter ever. It was nearly as bad as the 2009 blog posts on here!
Think it totalled up at 1000 words. Don't know quite how I got that from the topic "I feel utterly horrible today", but it's made me feel a lot better in the short term, and got me a list of things to resolve if I wake up in the morning and still feel the same.
The debate is, after re-reading it tomorrow, should I keep it for a few months to remember how much of a prick I was in the past, or just delete any trace of it?
Things, they be looking up.
My whole body is in total stress mode still, though. It's hard to revert after worrying for about a month, and I found myself disintegrating in German. It probably doesn't help that school starts too early (because I clearly don't go to bed too late, not at all).
There are other reasons things are looking up too. People that I know have begun to read my blog (on wordpress) and have been telling me that it's really good. It also leads to better conversations, because people will bring up something I've talked about before, and it's a lot easier than talking normally.
Everything else seems to be going fine. Other than my German teachers thinking I might do something crazy, which is worrying as they've known me for many years. I must be in a bit of a state.
Ah well, if all falls down, I am making new friends at the moment. I might have to patch things up with one of my old ones (because I told him to fudge off when he said my ego was too big), but I'm not really fussed. As long as it's easy for me to do, it's fine.
Bumped my grade up from a low E to a high C with all of the work I've done since the start of last week for maths! :D Just need those extra few marks for a solid B and I'll be really happy come March when I get my results.
That said, I'm going to mentally prepare myself for a resit, just in case. This is the worst exam prep I've had, mostly because it's the one I've been struggling in. It's not *new* things, but that's the issue: I didn't really know much of it coming into Year 12, and we skimmed over it. Luckily, I'm doing well now and I'm doing likewise with everything else.
I prepared myself mentally to ask the girl I mentioned on Friday out yesterday, but she wasn't in because of exam leave. Today was a really stressful day (ending in me crashing out on one of the common room sofas having a chat with the girl who rejected me many moons ago. It was a good chat, and we're definitely back to being as good friends as we were before. Oh, and I sorted out some maths work. Did an exam paper when I got in, got the high C, did a few questions from the book, and since then I've been watching Peep Show.
Decent day, all in all, but I'm going to have to prepare myself again to ask the girl out. And do the Maths. I've decided after Friday I'm going to have a week of taking it easier, so I can catch up on the homework and stuff due to not being frazzled when I get home. Most of my teachers are fine with me putting it off until after the exam, due to the fact I've been lagging behind in that one subject, and outperforming myself in their subjects. :)
Oh, and I've been looking at unis, I still cannot believe how expensive it is in the UK. I actually looked at Australia and NZ, but it seems to cost slightly more (considering I'll be classed as a foreigner despite having the same head of state). Canada seems alright, might check out Ireland and Germany some more. But yeah, it feels so far off but I know I need to be doing open days and stuff soon. At least I'll have the few days of bliss after the exam, and if I'm lucky, someone to share them with.
Netflix arrived in the UK today! I've signed up to the 1 month trial, we'll see how it goes :)
Slightly annoyed by the lack of some shows I'd like to watch (Flight of the Conchords + Mad Men among them), but it's definitely a good service. Looking forward to the library increasing when it does. :)
I had a really good day today. It was good. Probably because I had mostly frees, and two lessons of maths (which I enjoy because of the people). I had some really funny times with friends and stuff.
There is a video on my friend's phone of me dancing to some drum and bass in the common room, don't know if/when that's going on the internet. I also had a good time just generally doing nothing for about two hours - drifting around from impressing girls with my skill at passing the level they are stuck on on Angry Birds, for example, and impressing my friends with my adept skill at table football.
To cap the day off, the girl I like smiled really nicely at me when she saw me being rejected for a high five by my friend Doyler. It was partly amusement at the situation, I guess, but it was a warm sort of a smile. It made me feel very happy.
Oh, and I might even pass this maths exam! Scorinio.
Steak and chips is the meal I have every New Year's day, and this year is probably the first time I've enjoyed the steak. I was never a big fan.
I do, annoyingly, have a tiny bit of steak stuck in my teeth, though. Karma for all these years, I guess.
But yes, it's 2012. While in other years I've not grasped the whole 'remember it's a year later' thing, it hit me straight away. Considering in 2011 I was still accidentally writing 2010 on things until about March, it's a new situation for me. Which isn't important really, just a little nuance.
Hope you all had a good 2011, and will have a better 2012! Happy New Year!
Oh, and Sherlock was brilliant (although not as good as any of the first series, in my opinion)
Hope you all had a good one! I did. It felt different to every other Christmas I've ever had, but it was a good one nevertheless. I didn't feel as excited as I usually do, but that's less to do with my ever increasing age than recent events, and the fact I've been away for the last few Christmases - it was a nice change, and it was very nice to sit in with my family all day. Other than when we walked the dogs ;)
I have a new computer! It's a really good one, and I'm really lucky to have it. Unfortunately it's not got quite as good a graphics card as it needs to run some good games, but I can still run a few, and I can do pretty much everything else in the blink of an eye. 6 GB ram is so overpowered when you're used to half a GB. ;)
I feel very thankful to be a part of such a great family with generous parents ;)
Today my dog, Cromwell, died at the age of 4. He had intestinal cancer that spread to the lymph node, and so it was inoperable.
He was always such a happy dog, and even yesterday when we took him to the vet he was jumping around and happy. He had been having diarrhoea, and so he had an x ray and they found a growth around his liver/lymph node and weren't sure of what it was. They operated this morning after my parents went in to check on him (see how he was feeling). He looked a lot better, apparently, so we all had a sense of hope which ultimately turned out to be false.
It's utterly devastating. Cromwell has always been my favourite of our dogs and I love to lye around the house stroking him or playing games. He always seemed so fit and healthy so this has come as a shock to us. Especially as the cancer had spread to a very late stage, which means he must have been in some discomfort for a while and hadn't shown us.
Rest in peace, boy. I love you, and I'll never forget you, no matter what.
Last week of the 2011 schooling calendar. WOO! Only two full days left, and a few lessons on Friday, until I am let loose for about 2/3 weeks. I mean, I'll have loads of maths revision to do over the holidays, probably an hour a day is the minimum that'll cut the cheese, but I need to do it, and heck - 23 hours to do whatever is a lot more than I have normally.
Christmas is slowly falling into place; presents are beginning to arrive underneath our shiny plant of Christmas, the house smells of Christmas, everything's all very clean, and Christmas food has eked its way into the 'larder'. When I say 'larder', I mean a shelf we have in the cold bit of the kitchen.
I am actually feeling quite Christmassy (in stark contrast to the last few years), probably because it'll be nice to have a break after a year of incredibly hard work (and a lot of relaxing, it must be said). 2011 has seen me end my GCSEs and start my A levels. I've been working hard for both, and I'm glad that my grades are really good at the moment, despite acting the same really - just doing a bit more work. I still goof around with my friends, make jokes about the subject, go off topic and spend far too much time on the internet, but I'm achieving A grades in mock papers (other than Maths where I got a D, which I'm working on. To be fair to myself it was one of the highest in my class <_<).
Obviously the time off will be nice, though. I've already received £60 from my Grandparents (collectively), and I've bought a lovely pair of leather converse boot type things which I'll be allowed to wear at Christmas, which I'm looking forward to. I'll have more time for Skyrim!!!!!!!!!!! YEAH! And a lot of time with my family, which will be nice. Not the extended family (who needs uncles and shizzle like that?), but my close family are cool.
Won't mention girls in this one but I might actually ask one of that gender out (hopefully).
After reading my blogs, I've been happier this year than last.
Naughty Dog's new game looks nice.
Done quite a lot of things this weekend.
WATCHED ELF REALLY EXCITED FOR CHRISTMAS.
This looks like a poem but it really isn't.
WHO KNOWS WHAT MIGHT HAPPEN THIS WEEK?
....which makes it interesting.
I've been ill and run-down for a week or so now, and my head's running at a slower pace. That means if I make a gaffe (which I often do), it's harder to come back.
Such as calling my friend a Jew in front of a girl I'm trying to *ahem* befriend. It's an ongoing joke between me and him (and the rest of our mutual friends). It started when he accidentally said he's Jewish, and then we noticed he had a Jewfro and quite a large nose, so we pretended he was one. 10 months down the line and it's not stopped, partly because it still leads to hysterically funny moments. That aren't that funny, when I come to think of it.
But alas, today I made the gaffe of saying it really loud in front of the girl I was trying to *ahem* befriend. Usually he'll brush it off, but today he took it a bit further and I looked like a coochie (because I was being one), whereas normally he'd just laugh and it'd be seen as an inside joke (which it also is). So I don't know the situation with the girl. But that's what makes life INTERESTING!
Might just try to *ahem* befriend another girl. Preferably one who thinks I'm funny - although most people seem to think I'm funny now, so it's a wide pool of selection, closed only by the fact I'm also a dick.
Ah well. Maths test next month, and it's the only subject I'm struggling in. In History, in English and in German I'm pulling off A grades with less effort than 'Not very well' in Maths. Well, I got an A in one paper, but it was for Statistics, and I'm sitting Core in January. Shiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiizzle.
Oh, and there is a girl who might want to *ahem* befriend me, and I'd definitely *ahem* befriend her back. Just a bit confusing really. INTERESTING LIFE BLAH BLAH BLAH.
This blog has been me repeating a few phrases over and over. Hope you liked it.
Was a bit bored, so I checked my last.fm to see if there was anything I wanted to listen to, and saw this comment:
Not actually aware of who this person is, but I guess they're on Sal's so yeah. That's nice of you.
Write German essay while maniacally tired
Wake up to find it's bloody great
Only one more essay to go until Sunday is free of work!*
*see: actually I have 14 maths questions to do but FUDGE OFF
Sidenote: WHY DOES MY KEYBOARD NOT HAVE UMLAUTS ON IT? (screw the fact I'm british, I want umlauts nice doggy!)
Life is weird. That's one thing.
It's going.... well... at the moment. I guess you can all see as I've been on here less. I use this blog mostly as a rant/problem page, and don't really post positive feelings. Other than the previous blog. Today is a bit of both.
As I've mentioned before, there's a 'new' (she's been at my school for three months now) girl at my school, and it turns out she lives down my road. And we have similar interests. And she finds me funny. And she's attractive. And so am I.
Of course, I'm usually wary of this sort of shizzle, because it's engrained into my nature. One of my friends is close to both of us, so I mentioned the fact I liked her a little bit, and asked him to keep an eye out just if she said anything. I don't want to cause any further embarrassment or pain, really, so since I 100% trust him (apart from with my shoes), then I decided I'd go with his outcome.
The outcome was that she had only recently split up with her (long-term) boyfriend. When I say recently, it was a few months back, so I'm not really sure whether it's worth giving it a chance or not.
I usually come down on the side of 'not' (or giving it a few months and judging it then, which is probably the most sensible way to do it), but heh. As I tend to overanalyse (and then forget what I analysed), I've noticed a few signs in the past few days. For one, she always seems to be looking in my general direction when we're sat not so close to each other. Taking that with a pinch of salt, however, she may be looking at one of my friends.
Secondly, a few times when I've been talking to her with another friend, she tends to look at me more, even if I'm not talking. I'll take that with a pinch of salt just for the sake of it.
Thirdly (and possibly most/least importantly), she keeps 'liking' a lot of the shizzle I put on Facebook. One status was about how someone thought they were Jaws when they were just a dickhead on a bike (usually only something a hardcore fan (*see: close friend) of mine would like). Also, today I was having a trollfest on a friend's status with someone, which led to them saying that "Being big headed won't get you a girlfriend, Conor! HAHAHAH LOLLOLOLOlllllllllllll!!!!". I replied "Who said I want one?" followed up swiftly with "(but it must be said, ladies, I am indeed single", which she liked. WHAT DOES IT MEAN?
Salt is needed. Salt levels have decreased. argh.
Wait? I said I would be negative? Oh. Things are going along swimmingly. I'm making the step up to A level well (getting high As in History + German tests as we go along, Bs in English as it stands, and.... well. An E in Maths, which is the only exam I have in January).
So no. No negativity here. Just a bit of advice needed. Do I need salt or not? Do I ask out? If so, what for? I've not spoken to her very much at all (literally just as parts of conversations with mutual friends for 3 months) so I don't want to be forced/unnatural.
There's nothing better than that feeling of accomplishment after something. A levels were snowing me in in work for a while, and I've been in siege mentality. Homework is flying at me from all angles, but somehow I've kept up (albeit a tiny bit behind, but doing it nevertheless). Some of the classwork (particularly in maths) has been beyond my comprehension, though.
But when things click into place, they click. It's always hard to explain, but it gives you the confidence to move on to new things. Point in case - in Maths I'm learning Differentiation. It's something I've never learnt before, but I grasped it quickly, and then I plowed through it, and then on to more difficult stuff using assumptions on what I'd learnt from the previous questions. Technically, yes, I'm supposed to do that, but the realisation that I'm not actually that bad at maths all the time is a lovely feeling, especially on a Monday morning I'd been dreading since Friday.
Another source of accomplishment today was when I got home, and wearingly opened my journal, expecting to be bombarded with homework. I generally have a few things to do each night, which to be fair is quite good as it keeps things fresh in my mind, but I opened it and realised I 'only' had an essay in German to do, and a few sentences in German. The realisation I had an extra hour on my hands I hadn't accounted for left me feeling quite good. Even better when I ripped through the essay, producing some of the best German I've ever written.
So yeah, today was a good day. I've learnt a whole new area of maths, I've expanded knowledge in two areas of history (but been accused of monopolising conversations by my teacher, mostly because I try to answer questions when nobody responds, which I admit is stupid of me), and managed to fit in time for a cheeky go on Skyrim, to cook tea, walk my dog, watch Brazil vs Egypt on TV, and have a chat with a few friends.
Good day, all in all. Time to end it.
Nothing particularly interesting has happened this week (other than the shocking development that a girl that I sort of like thinks I'm hilarious, but a lot of people in my classes do at the moment), and I've played both Battlefield 3 and Modern Warfare 3 a fair amount since their respective releases, so I guess I'll pit them against each other, despite their glaring differences.
+ Decent campaign - not as batshizzle crazy as MW2, unfortunately not as good as COD4. Predictable ending.
+ Online puts weight against campers
- It's essentially the same game we've had for four years
- It's still not as good as COD4
- Predictable ending
+ Great online - culmination of the entire Battlefield series into a balanced package
+ Beautiful environments - on console it's not one of the better looking games (on PC it's lovely) but the environments are pretty stunning
- Dreadful campaign
- Predictable ending
- Doesn't live up to the hype
What have we established here? Different games, both good games and slight letdowns at the same time. Hi, I'm Scrum.
(next week, Skyrim versus Homework)
I woke up today in a good mood. Why? I don't know. I just felt good. I got ready, had breakfast, and off I went. School beckoned.
I arrived at the common room, and had a nice long chat with a lot of people. We then went off for a 3 hour lecture-y thing (we being the whole of year 12, so about 100 people) about 'Study Skills' (essentially reading quicker and revising more effectively). Well, 2 hours, break, 1 hour. It was dull, I have to say. There were funny points - mostly situational - but the first two hours were incredibly boring.
The third hour, however, began with a bang. Namely, a lot of noises of Terry Tate in an office. I've seen that video before, but it was still funny to watch.
Afterwards, we talked presentation skills. How to make the perfect presentation, etc etc. This was where things got more interesting.
"Now you have to plan your own presentation" said the woman running the session. So we did. "Do it about your interests, anything really!" she said.
So I did mine about chutney. Half expecting that nothing would come of it.
But she walked around. My friend clocked her, and knowing what I'd written in my presentation, asked her to get me to present mine to everyone. She said yes. I immediately was running on adrenaline.
I'm not a bad public speaker, but I'm not used to it, and chutney is just a thing. It's not an interest of anyone else. Nevertheless, when she called me I up I did it.
"Conor's going to present now" she said. I smiled awkwardly at everyone. "Do you want the microphone?" she said. "Yes please".
"Hello everyone. I'm Conor, and I'm the Chairman of Chutney Company. I'm here because chutney's bloody lovely".
In that moment, everyone realised I wasn't being serious, and laughter broke out. Over the course of the presentation - with repeated references to it going 'good with poppadoms' and people who not liking chutney being among the most evil people in History (Hitler, Fred 'off of the youtubes', and the guy who nominated me to do it). Literally everyone was laughing, and as I handed the microphone back and walked back to my seat I got a few high fives and at least 5 'legend's.
I was pretty happy. What made me even happier was the fact that one of the new girls at my school (not so new now) turned around and began talking to me slightly. When we had to do another presentation in groups, she said I should do it again. Which is the first encore I've ever had.
When I spoke to my friends at lunch they said I should do stand-up comedy. Blah.
Pointless blog is pointless, I'm just counterbalancing yesterday's pile of shizzlee.
Distance is one of the worst things that exists.
Just when you feel like you're close to someone, it can rip you apart like a 300 foot chasm is underneath your feet. I've mentioned my friend from Germany a lot in the past, not so much recently. Why? Well, we hardly ever talk any more. She's busy, I'm busy, and whenever there is time there's always something else happening. Even though I speak to her once a week, it's only for about 10 minutes, and therefore I miss her a lot. I miss her a bloody lot.
It's not just that that's causing me problems with distance. Obviously there's a physical distance, given we live over 500 miles apart, but personally I feel as we talk less and less that I don't really know what to talk to her about any more. I want to be interesting, but I can't refer to a past conversation, because the last *proper* conversation we had was in July.
It's not just with her though. To be honest, my main concern is with a lot of my old friends. As many of you will know, I finished compulsory education in the UK last year, and carried on at my school for Sixth Form. This is all well and good, and I'm still with a lot of friends, and I've made a few new ones. However, a large group of my best friends moved to college, and there's just no time to see them. Every week we want to meet up, there's either bad communication, not enough time or everyone's busy doing something. There could be ways around it, but going from seeing people you hold in such high esteem every day to hardly at all is a really hammer blow, and is just screwing my head over.
This blog is so fudgeing angsty, I've just read it back, and I feel ashamed I'm going to post it. But I just need this off my chest. I'll carry this on for a bit and cover the positives now.
School resumed yesterday (BOO), but it's been okay so far. While I moaned about missing a lot of friends, the friends I'm with now are great - we're always laughing and making jokes when we have the time. I like it like that. Obviously I can't help but think it would have been better before, but it is good as it stands. My subjects are all good (my German teacher, for example, is considering getting harder work in because I'm already outstripping AS standard in a lot of things), and to be fair things aren't going too bad with them ladies. I said I felt stuck in a rut with my German friend, but that's literally all she is now. A friend. I don't really 'like' anyone, just appreciate hanging with people and making them laugh, their personalities and such. It's better that way, I concentrate better and I'm less awkward too.
On a positive/negative note, I did actually ask a girl out in the year below who I've been friends with for ages. She said no, but still wants to be friends. But she's also talked to me whilst drunk (I was not intoxicated at the time) telling me how much she loves me, and telling me about how she wants to kiss me etc etc. It was pretty awkward, considering I've been trying to ignore her, but hey.
gr8 blog guise, life update over.