Lot of stuff going on lately with work, compounded by strange hours, lots of time with my new nephew, getting serious with my lady friend, and trying to pull together a successful Extra Life charity campaign.
I missed you guys.
Every once in a while I'll do some stand up at a couple small open mic nights downtown. I do ok, I've only crushed it like once or twice in my opinion, but I do well enough to get applause at the end. It's not really a career thing for me though some people have told me I should try. I just don't think I could make up enough material. :s
Lately I've been hitting some pretty good stuff, and when we had to evacuate my building for a fire drill and stay outside for 30 or so minutes I had a group of about 30-40 people in tears laughing while we waited to go back in so my confidence has been pretty high.
Anyways, tonight went pretty badly because one of Silavor's posts reminded me of one of my favorite bits I made up a few years ago, so I pulled it out. I hadn't really worked on it in a long time (I've been doing stand up for fun since I was about 15), so I thought I'd polish it up a bit, see if they liked it.
It doesn't really translate to text well, and I don't want to really give the bit away, but essentially the whole set up is how I've been thinking about doing a remake of Schindler's List, reimagined as a musical. I do a few lines on it, then I get really quiet, and in a hushed voice talk about how at the end of the movie the last emotional closing song is Schindler looking out at the audience and singing (And here I do my best impression of Whitney Houston and really belt it out) "And IIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIII will always love Jewssssssssss:"
(no it really doesn't translate well to text at all. Ifonly one person gets it and chuckles I'll be happy)
Not gonna lie, it crushed and really closed my set on a killer. It made me feel good.I love that bit, it hits my morbidly messed up funny bone.
But even though the bit itself killed and people apparently loved it, the next guy up after me tried to tear into me for making a joke about Whitney Houston right after she died and calling me insensitive. And then a couple people echoed it, and really put me in a bad mood. Luckily, the MC knew me and called me back up for a rebuttal (on open mic nights when it's slow they let some people get into comedic arguments) and let me kind of explain that I made the bit up years ago, it's not a recent joke about Whitney at all; and I even snuck in a snarky comment about why he called me insensitive for making fun of Whitney Houston but not for making fun of Schindler.
I got applause for calling the guy self righteous and trying to use anger to get some laughs his way, but it still left me in a grumpy mood. Especially since I really like this bit and I don't want it to get known as an insensitive joke.
Constant overtime at work lately. You wouldn't believe how many tax forms companies get, especially since tax forms cannot be scanned into the system and therefore have to be returned to the customer as unprocessable; ridiculously upping the volume for my job while I get no credit for them :P.
Although the custom postage stamps many large companies have are awesome. Certain video game companies crack me up with their genius.
I mean nothing is more awesome then expounding on a point by using that embedded video, amirite?
And just to prove my point, I PRESENT SOOTHING DUBSTEP!
I know, you think I'm crazy. SOOTHING DUBSTEP!?!?!? WHAT!?!?!?!?
I make awesomeness happen when I am drunk. I write awesome shizzle.
Rewrote a paper for someone and got an insta-better grade on it for them. People should learn how to communicate clearly, that's all.
Then I got all fed up with someone on my fb chat being a dick about how they don't really know anything about current happenings in the world. Seriously? You're supposed to be a part of this collective and you're too lazy to give a flying fudge?
So I wrote this:
To be a human is to see with our eyes and hear with our ears the happenings of today, lest the world forget them tomorrow.
Do not let mankind's ignorance to the pain and hurting of others deter you, for greed and violence must gradually give way to the truth that we hold in our hearts. We write the future of tomorrow, and as a functioning member of a human society it is a sovereign duty to remember those who have a voice for themselves no longer.
I should have alcohol more often. It makes me BRILLIANT
LEGALLY DRUNKS IS AWESOME TOO BAD IT TOOK TWO DAYS TO GET THIS [email protected]@@@@@@@@@@@@@@
On a more non drunnk note, i should not be posting. even if im on my way down. woooo
ohyah i love you guys. even mr fang. you all make me laugh.
Got some stuff for my car, ie ice scraper, jumper cables, etc.
I know it's the thought that counts, but...... It's stuff I'd already been a mature adult and bought myself back in October when I first bought Angela Harrison. ;)
My family really does their research. Winning, anyone?
I'm not being ungrateful, it's just sad that I can tell them exactly what I want/need and still be ignored, while my mum goes out and spends $400 buying my sister a bunch of fancy craft/scrapbooking machinery, which she specifically asked for. ;)
I know I don't get along well with my mother, but this just drives me insane. ;)
Either way, I'm alive on Christmas and that's all I really need. Merry Christmas to you all ;)
"Well Gee, Tim, we knew you really wanted _____ for your birthday so we went out to get it just for you, but it's Christmas time and they were all sold out! Darn!"
I'd laugh, only it happens every year. I predict another backpack, once again. :)
Was doing a little digging, and found this:
THAT'S RIGHT I KNEW HIM BEFORE HE WAS A MOD! WHERE IS YOUR GOD NOW?!?!?!?!?!?
In other news, Emanick liked my facebook status. I think he's reminding me that I forgot to feed him and let him out of his cage for a bit.
Car almost didn't start this morning. Almost got hit coming in twice. Got to parking lot, it's closed for the new movie. Other parking lot is lease only til after my shift starts. Ended up going to station square. Walked halfway to work, realized I left my keycard in my car. Walked back. Got to work, and realized I left my lunch at home. Finally left work, paid ticket fee for garage, got to car. Realized I left my keys at work. LONG WALK ENSUED. got back to parking lot, had to PAY AGAIN, then sat and screamed for a bit. Tried to drive home.....bridge was closed for the movie shoot. drove all the way through South Side traffic to get to oakland, drove through oakland traffic to get home...... I'm never making a status about murphy's law ever again.
COPY PASTA FROM MY FACEBOOK
I did, in fact, name my car Angela Harrison.
^_^ :P ^_^ :P :wub: :wub: :wub:
I thank Jethraw for proposing that his car and mine marry. We find this to be an excellent proposal and therefore accept with all possible love in our heart.