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Guest Article Winner - Desireful

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SlashingUK

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A week became a month and then two and eventually three. Sorry for the long delay. Simple would have done better, but admitted to copying and pasting existing material, so I'm going with Desireful's offering. Congratulations Desireful.

 

I shut the car door with a bang. I tried to block out my sisters whines. I was here. King's Island. My favorite amusement park. The smell of cotton candy wafted all the way into the parking lot, giving me a feeling of excitement. My family and I approached the front gates, our tickets in hand. We hand them to the lady, and are admitted into the park. The boys go to the left to hit the coasters and the girls go to the right to hit the children rides. Hours after hours we waited in lines for a 3 minute ride or less. Does that sound boring? I particularly love waiting in line for the thrill of my life. The fresh, lazy breeze, cooling us off after hours in the hot sun always make me feel more awake. Step by step we will move closer to the ride, with our anticipation growing.

 

Halfway through the day, we will all meet up and vaguely describe our stories of what we did that morning. We discuss how expensive the food and drink prices are and what we should do after lunch. We decide we will all do a few rides together. We throw away our greasy trash into the nearby trash cans, and walk away stuffed with pizza and soda. We walk by a Merry-Go-Round and my little sister insists that we should ride it. So we quickly get into the 3 person line, and board the ride. We spin around on the horses for several minutes and then get off. We walk to "The Son of the Beast" and quickly realize... my little sister is gone!

 

We abruptly all turn around, scanning the crowds in every direction. We find the nearest park worker and told him of our problem. He said he was going to go to the person that deals with these things, and walked into a large building. We trace our steps back to the merry-go-round and find my little sister in line for the ride. Again. She waves at us, smiling, just as little kids do. We take her out of the line, and keep her in our line of sight. We head back towards "The Son of the Beast" and as we get closer, I realize just how tall and big it is. With a staggering height of 218 ft (66 m), I gulp, and felt butterflies in my stomach.

 

I glance up at the top, and notice two helicopters flying around up there. I look a little bit below them, and half the train is hanging off the track, at the tallest point in the ride! I alert everyone in my group, and we decided that it probably won't be opened for the rest of the day, so we went and found a different ride instead.

 

As we look back at that.. if my little sister didn't get lost, we could have been on there, hanging 200 feet above the ground. But the bright side is, no one died or got seriously injured. There was only minor brusing and everyone was ok. I later went on "The Son of the Beast" the next year, without it flying off the tracks. Does everything happen for a reason? I, for one, am starting to believe that statement more and more.

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Argh, I was planning to enter this but couldn't find the time.

 

Nevertheless, Congratulations to Desireful! His writing skills surprise me as I don't believe I've caught him in the Story Mat :o . I simply adore this piece due to the fact that I can so easily relate to it. It's very natural, with a calm mood in the beginning, then turning into a very intense, frightening atmosphere. Very electric I might say. The first paragraph automatically hooks me. I can almost smell the cotton candy...I can feel that relaxing breeze. Desireful does a wonderful job in bringing the scene to the reader - or more rather, bringing the reader into the scene. It's great to see that he doesn't use a bucket full of adjectives and whatnot, and that this mood that he's intending to bring out, is executed very basically and without a need to sound intelligent.

 

A good choice you've made there Slashing, and hopefully Desireful will bring his talents to the Story Mat and entertain us with more pieces.

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