Once I stop crying now I think my typing will be less shaky.
So today was a great day. Friend came over and I helped him with some tech n software stuff he wants/needed. Went to go teach kids at community center karate and went for a 2 hour swim of laps, practice and breathing stuff.
When my parents return home from visiting my aunt, I didnt really care. I just had a good time on prophunt and RP-ed with peeps.
When they gave me a plastic bag and said it was my late bday present, I didnt know what to expect. When I stuck my hand in the bag and felt jean texture, I didnt know what was going to him me. In horror, my hand picked up fudgeing booty shorts. At first i was like 'HELL NO,' and looked at my old folks with a 'are you joking?' face. They said they were serious. I told them many MANY times never to buy me pants above my knee for
1.I hate them
2. I'm very self conscious about my thighs
3. Too revealing
4. never looks good on me
5.doesnt fit my style.
6. I dont have anything to match them with as an outfit :T
I told them I dont mind, but I wont wear it. the excuse of "youre suppose to wear leggins under them' doesnt fix it for me. I barely wear leggins. too tight and i hate tight clothes. Not my thing at all. it might fit for some chicks but not for me. These fudgeing booty shorts were up to my ass, baggy but waaaayyy too fudgeing short. I tossed them into the bag when my dad and I got into an argument. He said that I should start dress like a girl. first, define girl. You cant define it. What, skirts, dresses, accesories everywhere, has the perfect life? He said that he didnt like my ripped jeans, sweater and dark colored clothes because i wear them too much and im a walking 'disgrace' to him. Said that he asked for a daughter not a fudgeing son. Thats when he really broke me. He said that i should be wearing what other 'normal' girls wear and like some of my friends. frilly short dresses, leggins, flats, short shorts, make up ect ect because it makes any girl even a fat ass beautiful, that I should look beautiful. FOR MOTHER fudgeING WHO THOUGH? I'm only putting a show on for myself, i wouldn't want people looking or staring at me because i give very nasty looks back [you know, that ONE look]. I take it that these old nitwitts are still stuck in the fudgeing 70's and dont know that shizzle changes. They always told me to 'express myself, be myself, dont do what others tell you' ect ect. How can I even fudgeing trust my parents now that they take me for a fudgeing disaster son they never wanted? It hurts me to know that my parents hate that one part of me.
I dont know if they realize that its just a fashion phase and theyve been through it too or something. I'm just not into that american girly stuff that other chicks are into I guess. is it a fudgeing crime? Is it wrong to, to try to be different?????
I am one of their children whos actually didnt turn out so bad. So fudge them if they dont appreciate my effort to keep control of my body and not whore myself around like some hipsters do.
I don't like doing what people tell me to, im a huge suck up. If i say yes once, they'll beg for me to do that same thing again. I got my eye brows done like a month ago by shizzlety friends who are 100% OMFGHAWTDRESSESFTWANDMAKEUP, EWTOOTHERSTUFF, and i dont mind them. but ganging up on me and plucking my fudgeing eyebrows while tearing off my skin is another. I'm stil pissed at them. For one they violated my space and 2 they fudgeing grew balls to try to do it again a week later when they JUST started to grow back. When I wear a dress to make my parent sstfu, they expect me to wear more dresses. fudge that, im rolling in jeans and a SOAD t-shirt.
I dont know whats going on anymore with this 'girly' theme my parents are trying to enforce on .All I know is that they consider me a fudgeing failure for looking 'like a boy'.
I need some therapist or something, I'm very angry that my dad had to break me in half tonight.
I'll return the shorts later, no way in hell I'm wearing it anyways. It'll get donated in months just cuz i wont wear it. Its a gift and i dont wanna disrespect my aunt, but i just cant believe they had decency to give me booty shorts.
I cant look at my dad now....not for now.