Innominatus

Bye. :~( It's always sad to see really old members leave.

Seeya Elit!

 

I'll always remember when I changed my RuneScape characters look to exactly yours and Rc'd with you ^_^

 

As

Oh, nostalgia. :(

The fishing hole will never be the same without you running back and forth to the bank. :(

I miss this!

Druin (a young man named Jeffrey) passed by suicide the day this was posted. He had spent the last couple years of his life feeling extremely isolated as he came to grips with being gay and lacking supportive community. 

I was probably one of the last people he reached out to in the days before making his decision. I can't blame myself for it, nor do I think I could have talked him out of it, but even now I think of him a few times a month and strive to connect with my friends in the LGBT+ community. Often they need us more than we can ever know. 

Please, if you read this, reach out and say hi to someone who may be having a hard time. Do it in honor of Jeffrey, and in honor of the Jeffries around the world who desperately need it. I'm not going to promise you'll save a life, but you'll brighten one - and that is just what is needed sometimes. 

Edited March 25 by Wiltingplant

At the time he posted this, I was not very much around due to moving on to my more intense periods of my life towards the end of my University studies. It was quite a few years later when I came over a thread in the Scape Lounge where it said he just went missing one day.

Well, ever since then, I have been fearing that he had commited suicide. Druin once mentioned to me once that he might just go missing some day, and we would never hear from him again. To have it confirmed... well, it hurt more than I expected it to, having been "prepared" to know that for years. 

Druin was.. funny, kind, smart and witty. I have met many remarkable people in my time here, and quite a few of you have become friends and acquaintances. I have shared laughs and stories with hundreds of people, and they have made my time here something I will treasure for the rest of my life. Druin though.. he is one of few that earned my respect. He did not because of something he did or said, but because of the type of person he was. I like to think that a lot of people here came to respect him for his excellence, and in that, his memory will carry on.

....as a few general notes though, since... well, what Wiltingplant mentions is important:

In January 2020, a friend of mine commited suicide. I found myself being one of a few close friends of his that had to nurse my friend through the last unraveling of his sanity, as he steadily lost his will to live over the course of a few months. My friend had the intelligence of Common Sense, the wisdom of Cameron and the wit of Dani. To see someone that amazing run straight into a mental wall, and see them turn into a husk of their former self was... horrifying. It hurt the day I read a message from him and I realised he had attempted suicide. It hurt having to get his brother to go over to check in vain if he was still alive. It hurt having to inform our friends that he had passed away. 2020 was... a brutal year that changed me, simply because that death shook me to the core, and a lot of people in my group of friends have struggled since.

So, everyone, I implore you all.. Take care of yourself, your loved ones, and try to show acts of care and compassion to anyone around you. Whether or not you feel affected by the global pandemic, a lot of people do find themselves isolated and alone. Norwegian studies show that children, youth and young adults are all suffering with psychological issues due to how our lives have changed, and younger generations struggle with loneliness. People around you might struggle. You might not see signs of people struggling, but trust me. They are. They need to be seen, recognised and shown some glimmer of compassion. And to all of you stubborn men here, that think you can handle it... do not be a bloody fool, and get someone to talk to. The voices, the guilt and the issues will not go away. They will just grow and become worse until either you cave in, and seek help, or your mind caves in, and you crush everyone you leave behind.

In the meantime, I suppose I'll keep on truckin'. I owe that to Druin. 

If this is inappropriate - apologies, I just find comfort in identifying and relating, perhaps contributing to Druin/Elit's legacy. I definitely remember seeing him around as a <15 year old. Looking at his lastfm profile, his last song on this day was from Snow Patrol. I love that album - I would hope that his last moments were peaceful. Well wishes to his family and friends. 

Echoing Yuan's above post, especially `do not be a bloody fool, and get someone to talk to. The voices, the guilt and the issues will not go away`, coming from someone who was in quite a similar situation. Life can be so great, and trying to spend it alone is not worth it. It can be so much better - even if it means a lifetime of work.

 

I think my post here is falling upon the ears of quite level-headed folks, but yeah. The topic of "how do you help out your friends?" is something I'd love to talk about, casually asking about the well-being of people can be seen as quite weird, I think (and perhaps not helpful at all asked in the wrong way?)

Edited April 5 by Zooey

I think everyone would contribute by simply spreading mental health awareness, teaching people to self-care, and telling people to not give up hope for a better life. I loved the part of your comment where you said "Life can be so great, and trying to spend it alone is not worth it. It can be so much better - even if it means a lifetime of work". Life is a series of great and horrible moments, but the tragic thing about struggling with your mental health, is that you cannot see anything beyond the bleak and oppressive dread you are stuck in.

Men especially are very vulnerable to this type of illnesses, because we are not really raised to be very open about our emotions and well-being, and would rather attempt to "man up", than to seek help. Since we also are slower to visit doctors, and might under-report illnesses, men are prone to not get the help they are in dire need of.

Add that up with the fact that, when men do attempt to commit suicide, they are far more successful than women, and there is no wonder that men commit suicide 3-4 times more often than women.