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Goat Semen

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imsleepy

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Earlier this evening Fini showed Sleepy a prank call to a goat semen company. After lolling at the thought of collecting 30-50 gallons of semen from a single goat, she decided to do a bit of investigating on her own. Apparently goat jizz sells for up to $200 a shot. Okay, admittedly that is a very pretty goat, but man, he must ejaculate little flecks of gold or something.

 

The website never gets too detailed, but there are a few funny things lurking around on their information pages.

 

*"To help insure a successful collection your buck(s) MUST be “flushed out” This means he needs to be able to ejaculate 5 to 6 times and then put in a pen by himself 5 to 7 days prior to collection day. To do this you may have to alter your breeding program by sacrificing one or two does."

SACRIFICE THEM TO THE DARK LORD TO ENSURE A BOUNTIFUL HARVEST OF GOAT JIZZ!

 

*"You, the buck owner need to put a lead rope on your buck and actually see him ejaculate and give a good hip thrust 5 to 6 times over a few days time 4 to 5 days prior to collection."

(This is in the context to make sure that your male goats are "flushed out" and don't have any dead/unhealthy sperm kicking around in their nuts)

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When I clicked the first link I got this:

Security Violation Tech Support Has Been Notified

 

:unsure:

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If you think that is bad I had to watch a steer get violated.

 

VID!!!!!!!

 

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When I clicked the first link I got this:
Security Violation Tech Support Has Been Notified

 

:unsure:

Darn you, goat semen website, making all your delicious jizz inaccessible to people who want to check out your studly goats. D:

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How can I get into this business?

You have to demonstrate your epic handjob skills on a goat. There's a written and practical exam. ;D

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