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Help! Abused Friend, What To Do?

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Blingking502

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I haven't blogged anything in a while, but I come to Sal's asking for help. I have this friend of mine, her name is Molly. We recently became friends, started talking about 4 months ago out of her Facebook boredness randomly choosing me to talk to one night. As I got to know her more, more and more of her... issues started to come out.

 

Her relationship issues and failures were first. Then came the knowledge of her drinking a bit later. The biggest bombshell was dropped when she told me one day that someone told the counselors at school she had tried to commit suicide, but she totally convinced me and acted as if that was totally crazy, which I thought it was. She's one of those girls who is always ridiculously happy and knows everyone, constantly talking and being so energetic. She later admitted to me that night that she did in fact try to commit suicide, and it wasn't her first failed attempt. She was put on anti-depression meds and went to see a counselor multiple times a week. She hates both. Then recently, her smoking habit came out. She's not exactly a chain smoker, just 8 or 9 total in the last week and half. Her pack is almost gone, so she says that's gonna end. With that reveal came another surprise almost as shocking as the suicide attempts.

 

When she came up to me in school that day, she was the complete opposite of her usual self. Not smiling, not excited, no makeup and her hair was just in a ponytail. I knew something was wrong, but she didn't say there. As usual, Facebook chat would reveal the issue. She explained to me how her dad beat her the other night after she got into a fight with her parents from them yelling and complaining how she's a failure and disgrace to the family and that they can't wait for her to move out. She said that he'd done it before, but not like this in years. I asked why she hasn't told anyone and she said she had. She had a CPS social worker to their house weekly in the past.

 

I tried and tried to convince her she had to do more and tell someone. She doesn't seem to think so. Here's the discussion I had with her tonight.

I was talking about my back hurting from digging my dog's grave today. That's another blog post that I probably wont write. What a bad day. RIP Max. <3

 

My messages are bolded.

 

My back killssss right now haha

 

sorry

mine does too.

haha.

well all of me does.

 

Conditioning?

 

yeah that and my dad.

oh well.

 

:)(((

Again? Or still?

 

both.

 

 

Mollyyy why don't you do something?

 

what can i do?

 

Tell the police, tell the school, tell someone so it can stop

 

i cant put everyone through that again

 

Well why should you go through this again?

This seems a lot worse.

 

idk, i deserve it?

 

you have to do what's best for you.

No one deserves that

 

So, I'm here for what to do next. Anyone have experience in a situation like this? What's the best thing I can do? I mean I already talk to her all the time and help that way whether it's about this or the depression. Should I take matters into my own hands and tell someone? I don't want to break her trust and betray her, but it may be the best thing for her. I just don't know.

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The social worker no longer visits, that was several years ago, and the school only knows about the suicide attempts. I think she's still seeing the psychiatrist though. And thanks, that's all I did know as far as what I was gonna do. At the moment, I think it's all I can.

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If you're not sure talk to your school's counselor to make sure they know about it. Although it may seem like a trust, you're really just doing the best for her. Dozens of kids are abused like this and they never reach out and tell anyone. Don't abandon her, though. You have to be her wall of emotional support and give a shoulder to cry on.

 

I hope everything turns out for the best!

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You need to be a friend more than anything else. Make sure she knows that you're there for her in case of any event. Do you two live close by or something? It would help her I think to get out of the house whenever tensions are high and I think she would really appreciate having someone physically with her through tough times.

 

I have a friend going through a similar situation (though it's not physical abuse but mental/emotional) and the best thing you can do is to let them know that they're your friend and that you're there for them. Make sure she understands that you appreciate her, I am absolutely sure she's feeling a lack of appreciation which would drive her to those extremes.

 

Stay strong because I promise you it'll be taxing on you, but she really needs you right now. :)

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I agree completely with redmonke.

 

Normally I would think this is just an attention whoring case, but it honestly doesn't look like it. You HAVE to be there for her. She needs to find comfort in someone, and you definitely have the potential at this time to be that. I wish I could help more but I've never had experience with this kind of topic.

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If you're a christian and even if you're not, pray for her. just be there for her and just try to take her mind off of things, don't directly intervene unless you know shes in danger of hurting herself.

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