It's a long way to Burgh de Rott from, well, just about anywhere. I remember once that Joshua Mack and I raced it, after I mused on the fact that Temple Trekking is actually a short-cut there. He went via Canifis and the boat; I did an easy route of the mini-game. I got there about a second before he did and blew raspberries at him from the gate. He said he'd lagged. I told him, 'No pic, no proof,' and after that mature exchange we left it at that. Nevertheless, Burgh de Rott remains a long way from anywhere.
I thought those days were all over. I started 'The Branches of Darkmeyer'. To be fair, I've nearly finished the quest, but for killing Vanstrom the Vampire, which is not going well. Early on in the quest, you get a present. It's a medallion that teleports you to various locations in Morytania, including Burgh de Rott. I cheered. But the medallion is a little like a glory, insofar as it has charges. Once they're gone, you have to climb into a dank crypt behind the bank in that town and dip it in some blood. I've told myself that it's vegetarian blood, drawn from some quorn or something. The alternative is a bit too gruesome to contemplate.
The first time I fought Vanstrom, the ring of life saved me. The second time, I died properly. My thundering heart and near breakdown panic was soon put into perspective, when that medallion teleported me within a few feet of the grave. It was time to stop being a noob and just get on with dying repeatedly. It's not like there's any obvious alternatives, like beating him. So I learned to go rushing back in, die, collect, prepare, rush in, die, collect etc, on an endless loop, until I got bored and went to get 92 prayer instead.
Then, tonight, I was feeling all nimble and brave. I was also listening to 'Navras', which is definitely a pwning type of song. I decided not to think about it too much. I hurried off to Oog'log, dressed in my fighting clothes, jumped into the energy and the mega hitpoints pools, then bat teleported myself off to Darkmeyer. 'Navras' was all 'om shanti shanti shanti' and I was somewhere between Neo and Trinity, ready to take this ridiculous excuse for vampiric pixels off to his very end. Rawrrrrr! Except for the slight fail of not having nipped to Meiyerditch en route to get a replacement vial of Holy Water. Not to fear! 'Navras' has a rewind button! I was soon back and at the door. I was in!
I was brilliant. I was so fast. I out-manoeuvred the blood-sucking cachi on two bouts of 'stare into the darkness'. For a second there, I even mistook myself for a twitch player. Vanstrom was three quarters of the way dead and my titan was laying into him. Then the vampire hit me with a lucky splat of blood and I ran across the room. I clicked my shark and hurtled back to poleaxe the creature in the... stomach. But disaster! That shark hadn't been eaten! It was still Jaws-ing away in my bag and I was nearly dead! :P I clicked like mad, but I'd taken my eye off the real danger. Vanstrom blood-splattered me and I folded into a mess on the floor.
I was in Lumbridge of all places. It was the last area I'd been in, because of attempting to do my Tears of Guthix on Wednesday (another fail - my computer crashed as I entered and it counted as this week's visit, despite no tear being caught). I called myself every noob under the sun, then clicked my medallion. It was out of charges.
Years ago, in Canting Away, we had a spate of people panicking as they died. With us all there and poised to teleport in to help, none of us could get there in time, because we didn't have the information. When people die, they tend to type, 'OMG! OMG! Omg!' a lot, which is neither use nor ornament for finding their gravestone. This happened a few times, with different people, before we instigated helpful tips upon death. The first was something like - don't die; but I skipped all the rules designed for people who could actually fight. The things that I had to memorise started with 'don't panic' (amended, in my case, to 'pretend you're not panicking'). Then came that all important tip: don't bother with niceties and explanations, when time is of the essense. Start with something like 'SOS!' or 'Gravestone!' or 'Dead!', then immediately give people the necessary information to help you. Location is the biggie, followed by world. So many people's possessions were saved that way; and tonight, they were mine.
I love MsClick. Just repeating that here. I don't think she was even around in the dim, distant days when we made those rules, but common sense ensued. She didn't bother with pausing to type, 'I'm on my way', because she had to grab her medallion and robes, then hop a world to save my things. The clock was ticking. I am so grateful to her.
It's a long way from Lumbridge to Burgh de Rott. I had to run into the basement under the castle, grab my home tele runes; run from my hallway into the portal room, then zoom to Canifis. I ran behind the bar, through the trapdoor and into the secret passageway. I was just out of the double doors and up onto the rope bridge, with that counter already closing in on ten minutes. I still had to cross the swamp, catch the boat, dash through Mor'ton and leap the fence into Burgh de Rott, before I could even charge my medallion to get back to Darkmeyer. But I was on the rope bridge when I got the message that MsClick was ahead of me. I wooted.
She even stayed to keep me calm, while I ran to reclaim my stuff, with Choco, Lillantra and Arct also cheering me on. No urgency now. MsClick had bought me an hour with her prayers.
I've never read my gravestone before. A good epitaph, I think. It reminds me of this:
Os treisiodd y gelyn fy ngwlad tan ei droed,
Mae hen iaith y Cymry mor fyw ag erioed,
Ni luddiwyd yr awen gan erchyll law brad,
Na thelyn berseiniol fy ngwlad.
Or, to put it another way:
My country tho' crushed by a hostile array,
The language of Cambria lives out to this day;
The muse has eluded the traitors' foul knives,
The harp of my country survives.
Though said harp is strugging somewhat against that bloody vampire.