Distance is one of the worst things that exists.
Just when you feel like you're close to someone, it can rip you apart like a 300 foot chasm is underneath your feet. I've mentioned my friend from Germany a lot in the past, not so much recently. Why? Well, we hardly ever talk any more. She's busy, I'm busy, and whenever there is time there's always something else happening. Even though I speak to her once a week, it's only for about 10 minutes, and therefore I miss her a lot. I miss her a bloody lot.
It's not just that that's causing me problems with distance. Obviously there's a physical distance, given we live over 500 miles apart, but personally I feel as we talk less and less that I don't really know what to talk to her about any more. I want to be interesting, but I can't refer to a past conversation, because the last *proper* conversation we had was in July.
It's not just with her though. To be honest, my main concern is with a lot of my old friends. As many of you will know, I finished compulsory education in the UK last year, and carried on at my school for Sixth Form. This is all well and good, and I'm still with a lot of friends, and I've made a few new ones. However, a large group of my best friends moved to college, and there's just no time to see them. Every week we want to meet up, there's either bad communication, not enough time or everyone's busy doing something. There could be ways around it, but going from seeing people you hold in such high esteem every day to hardly at all is a really hammer blow, and is just screwing my head over.
This blog is so fudgeing angsty, I've just read it back, and I feel ashamed I'm going to post it. But I just need this off my chest. I'll carry this on for a bit and cover the positives now.
School resumed yesterday (BOO), but it's been okay so far. While I moaned about missing a lot of friends, the friends I'm with now are great - we're always laughing and making jokes when we have the time. I like it like that. Obviously I can't help but think it would have been better before, but it is good as it stands. My subjects are all good (my German teacher, for example, is considering getting harder work in because I'm already outstripping AS standard in a lot of things), and to be fair things aren't going too bad with them ladies. I said I felt stuck in a rut with my German friend, but that's literally all she is now. A friend. I don't really 'like' anyone, just appreciate hanging with people and making them laugh, their personalities and such. It's better that way, I concentrate better and I'm less awkward too.
On a positive/negative note, I did actually ask a girl out in the year below who I've been friends with for ages. She said no, but still wants to be friends. But she's also talked to me whilst drunk (I was not intoxicated at the time) telling me how much she loves me, and telling me about how she wants to kiss me etc etc. It was pretty awkward, considering I've been trying to ignore her, but hey.
gr8 blog guise, life update over.