AssCreed: Liberty given by the ass...ass...ins trailer break down
Entry posted by Helm Lardar
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Good evening. Let's annotate the E3 Assassins creed trailer. I need give no reason.
First shot is of some British forces, looking suave, invading America while the civilians rise up to defend (erm). It's a pretty small force to take over the whole country, but okay. Clearly the gentleman on the horse is the villain.
American eagle looks on, sad at the loss of life, shown by the sad music. Both symbolic of America and its glorious values and also Connor, the brutal Indo-Brit assassin. There are a few more British soldiers, marching around the guy on the horse. Pretty sure he'd be in sniping distance, if there were good rifles around at the time.
"I watched them fight, and die, in the name of freedom. They spoke of liberty and justice (is that a crow? lunchtime!), but for who?"
Well, clearly not black people. Or Native Americans. Or British people (though strictly speaking war of independence is a war of British American rulers against German Royalty, the hanovers, but that's by the by). Hang on, isn't Connor on the wrong side?
Eagle flies poignantly through some trees (yeah, why the sad music?), and then TURNS INTO AN ASSASSIN. Please, please, please put that in the game. It'd be a fun way to get around, apart from anything else.
Assassin's pushing revolutionaries out of the way. Fair enough. I don't like 'em either. Their tactics aren't great: wouldn't it be more sensible to dig into defences against an invading army rather than go and attack them on their hill?
Native Americans are one with nature. That's why this horse is totally cool with all these shells and stuff. Also, did you know that the closer you get to an explosion, the quieter it is? Right next to one, it's hardly a muffled thump.
Brits are either horrible shots or their commanders aren't familiar with the range of their weapons. Also, fire at will? Volleys are for stopping groups, as aptly demonstrated by Zulu: once the big groups of attackers are just spread out, you go at will and pick targets you want so that things work more effectively: no point firing 20 shots at once, lest he hide behind a rock. Also, there are more men than the front two ranks. Where are the Wellingtonian kneel/stand firing techniques?
I suppose "wait till you can see the whites of his eyes" approach doesn't really work here. His eyes are invisible. In fact, if I was Connor, I don't think I'd be able to see much at all out of that. Think how much a baseball cap reduces your vision, then think: what if I was looking down in this whole video? It's like that, but worse.
Assassin jumps across. Fair enough. Only to meet lots of spaced out soldiers to kill on the other side. How come?
Funny hats, revolution leader doesn't have a telescope on his person. Odd. Pretty good entrenchment, with all the spikes and stuff. Why leave it? Those cannon won't do that much.
Wub wub, let's break formation. Hot damn, revolution has artillery. Why didn't they try a quick bombardment first, as was conventional at the time? Scares the enemy and kills them. They don't have defence, you do. It'd have been ideal.
Asssassin has a kickass bow, general's pistol 'aint loaded while he strolls towards him. Yay! Realism! You're wearing jewellery, so I'll clobber you, K?
fudge yeah, says revolution leader. This would be the perfect time for an organised attack while they're all a disorganised rabble, following artillery and unexpected assassination! Let's send men in a disorganised crowd to give the enemy a fair shot at beating us.
What's this? Our crowd is 10x the size of the British one? Did we even need an assassin?
Oh look, he's become an eagle again. I guess that's handy for getting out of massive crowds of soldiers. Just as well he manages to do it under pressure. Say, couldn't somebody just shoot the bird?
"Insurrection is the most sacred of rights...and it's a duty too."-Revolutionary General. Y'know, of all the classic rights, I should have thought some of them are a bit more important than rebellion. What about the right to life? Or freedom from torture? Or freedom from slavery (LOLno)? Or the right to a fair trial?
Nope. Rebellions. Every time.
Hang, on we forgot to draw an allusion to Batman other than the winged creature personification and him being a badass!
RISE
Hope you enjoyed.
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