Conspiracy theory number two.
Humpty Dumpty sat on a wall.
Humpty Dumpty had a great fall.
All the king's horses and the king's men
Couldn't put Humpty together again.
Let's look at the evidence. Here is Humpty Dumpty (rest in peace), having not yet 'fallen':
Here, Mr. Dumpty (rest in peace) looks pretty confident, by the standard of eggs' anyway. He seems to know the deal with sitting on walls....dare I say he might have been bit of an expert at sitting on walls.
The question arises, then, how did he 'fall'? When was the last time that wall had it's safety risk analysed? Where even is this wall?
After the 'fall', the poem reports that the king's horses and men were unable to aid him. What the hell were horses doing trying to complete such a delicate exercise as repairing a smashed egg? They probably just trampled on him and made it worse! On top of that, even the king's men were just regular soldiers....they didn't have a clue what they were doing! Mr Dumpty needed a specialist, ladies and gentlemen. And in the final hours of his eggy life, he was denied this luxury. This innocent soul's last moments on earth would have been watching incompitent fools panicking and scrambling around for the super glue (which was also a wild goose chase, super glue had yet to be invented).
Call my crazy, but I believe that -- in a nutshell -- Humpty Dumpty was pushed. I believe that it could have been a lone killer, it could have been a huge conspiracy, and their could have been a second gunman on the grassy knoll. At the moment, my finger of suspiscion is pointing at the King at the time. He was the one who sent him all this useless help, and it was in his kingdom that this atrocity was carried out and there was no investigation afterwards.
True? False? More realistic than my other theory? Discuss.