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Humpty Dumpty Was Pushed

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Conspiracy theory number two.


Humpty Dumpty sat on a wall.

Humpty Dumpty had a great fall.

All the king's horses and the king's men

Couldn't put Humpty together again.



Let's look at the evidence. Here is Humpty Dumpty (rest in peace), having not yet 'fallen':


Here, Mr. Dumpty (rest in peace) looks pretty confident, by the standard of eggs' anyway. He seems to know the deal with sitting on walls....dare I say he might have been bit of an expert at sitting on walls.


The question arises, then, how did he 'fall'? When was the last time that wall had it's safety risk analysed? Where even is this wall?


After the 'fall', the poem reports that the king's horses and men were unable to aid him. What the hell were horses doing trying to complete such a delicate exercise as repairing a smashed egg? They probably just trampled on him and made it worse! On top of that, even the king's men were just regular soldiers....they didn't have a clue what they were doing! Mr Dumpty needed a specialist, ladies and gentlemen. And in the final hours of his eggy life, he was denied this luxury. This innocent soul's last moments on earth would have been watching incompitent fools panicking and scrambling around for the super glue (which was also a wild goose chase, super glue had yet to be invented).


Call my crazy, but I believe that -- in a nutshell -- Humpty Dumpty was pushed. I believe that it could have been a lone killer, it could have been a huge conspiracy, and their could have been a second gunman on the grassy knoll. At the moment, my finger of suspiscion is pointing at the King at the time. He was the one who sent him all this useless help, and it was in his kingdom that this atrocity was carried out and there was no investigation afterwards.


True? False? More realistic than my other theory? Discuss.



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well the wall has to be near a castle as the kings soldiers got to humpty first and as we know castles were very old so perhaps Humpty was dared, or even pushed into sitting on this wall knowing it was too old to be an effective rest therefor crumbling away before his very glutius maximus I can play CSI too :beret:

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I think the horses pushed him, they pretended to try to fix him together, but when everyone left, they had him for lunch.2458_Scrambled_Eggs_4.jpg

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Prash, you stole my picture. :P I was debating with Meen earlier:

He was obviously committing suicide. Look at him in that picture, he looks miserable! And his hands are just in the right position to push himself off. I believe that there was an investigation, but they couldn't believe that an egg would commit suicide. :)
Miserable?! He looks like he owns the place! Now tell me why a high and mighty egg would kill himself >:(
Because he's going to be fried!!200px-Fried_egg,_sunny_side_up.jpgOr even worse.. SCRAMBLED!!!!!!!2458_Scrambled_Eggs_4.jpgFor all we know, Humpty Dumpty was the egg that Bill Snyder used when making his egg sandwich! (see my blog if you're confused :( )
That's also my argument here. :P

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No no, I'm pretty sure that's my password. Oops! Meh, too lazy to change it.Meen, you are the next Daniel Handler, I'm not kidding. You have a ways to go but you might get there :D You should re-take a picture of yourself with like a soccer ball in mid-air blocking your face ;)Good conspiracy theory :DThat's all I have to say

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