I'm posting this here mostly as a therapeutic sort of thing. I'll get to the real part in just a sec. But first, I'd like to wish my RS-wife seksievilcow a very merry 5-year anniversary! We've managed to keep in touch over time, or else that'd be pretty creepy. And no, I don't call her "cow" anymore.
One of the last things I did before going inactive on Sal's was get married. It was quite an ordeal - took over a year to get from "will you?" to "I do".
And now I'm here, writing this.
I came home from work to an empty house on December 2, 2011. Now, I'm not going to go into all the details of this - we're both human, we both made mistakes. I'm not going to try and tell you I was the perfect husband and I'm not going to rag on her as the wife from hell. That's not what this is about. It's about getting it out there because I feel like it's been bottled up for over a year. That said, it was definitely her that ended the relationship and not me. It came as a total shock at the time (though in ever-clearer hindsight, I can see the signs) and was absolutely devastating.
Since then, I've been emotionally struggling with all kinds of questions. What should I do with my life now that my original plan has been cut off? Where should I live - in our old apartment in the same city she's living in, or should I move back to my hometown? Will I ever feel that way about another girl? Do I even want to feel that way again? Will another girl be able to love me, knowing that I've been through this already at such a young age?
I'm almost done with all the legal things to make everything final (I owe her $0.06 as part of our settlement, but that's a story for another time). It's been really hard and taken longer than our marriage lasted to get it all done. It's also far less fun than planning a wedding.
This is the first time I've talked online about this. I feel like I've been dishonest with many of my friends because when all this happened, I didn't put anything on facebook, nor did I call very many people to let them know. A few have figured it out, of course (removing all your wedding pictures and getting blocked by your wife does tend to raise an eyebrow or two), but the majority of my friends from our old workplace still believe I'm happily married and my wife just didn't want to come along to the last gathering. And for Pete's sake, it's been a freaking YEAR. Any advice on how to break it to the facebook crowd politely would be appreciated. It's not so much that I don't want them to know, it's that I don't know how to tell them.
Anyway, that's what's going on with old wilt. Just in case you'd been wondering. I don't expect much that hasn't already been said from my close irl friends and family - just please respect that it's a sensitive issue if you choose to comment.