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An anniversary and some news.

Wiltingplant

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Hey everyone,

 

I'm posting this here mostly as a therapeutic sort of thing. I'll get to the real part in just a sec. But first, I'd like to wish my RS-wife seksievilcow a very merry 5-year anniversary! We've managed to keep in touch over time, or else that'd be pretty creepy. And no, I don't call her "cow" anymore.

 

*deep breath*

 

One of the last things I did before going inactive on Sal's was get married. It was quite an ordeal - took over a year to get from "will you?" to "I do".

 

And now I'm here, writing this.

 

I came home from work to an empty house on December 2, 2011. Now, I'm not going to go into all the details of this - we're both human, we both made mistakes. I'm not going to try and tell you I was the perfect husband and I'm not going to rag on her as the wife from hell. That's not what this is about. It's about getting it out there because I feel like it's been bottled up for over a year. That said, it was definitely her that ended the relationship and not me. It came as a total shock at the time (though in ever-clearer hindsight, I can see the signs) and was absolutely devastating.

 

Since then, I've been emotionally struggling with all kinds of questions. What should I do with my life now that my original plan has been cut off? Where should I live - in our old apartment in the same city she's living in, or should I move back to my hometown? Will I ever feel that way about another girl? Do I even want to feel that way again? Will another girl be able to love me, knowing that I've been through this already at such a young age?

 

I'm almost done with all the legal things to make everything final (I owe her $0.06 as part of our settlement, but that's a story for another time). It's been really hard and taken longer than our marriage lasted to get it all done. It's also far less fun than planning a wedding.

 

This is the first time I've talked online about this. I feel like I've been dishonest with many of my friends because when all this happened, I didn't put anything on facebook, nor did I call very many people to let them know. A few have figured it out, of course (removing all your wedding pictures and getting blocked by your wife does tend to raise an eyebrow or two), but the majority of my friends from our old workplace still believe I'm happily married and my wife just didn't want to come along to the last gathering. And for Pete's sake, it's been a freaking YEAR. Any advice on how to break it to the facebook crowd politely would be appreciated. It's not so much that I don't want them to know, it's that I don't know how to tell them.

 

Anyway, that's what's going on with old wilt. Just in case you'd been wondering. I don't expect much that hasn't already been said from my close irl friends and family - just please respect that it's a sensitive issue if you choose to comment.



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yeah captain hindsight always has it easy

 

as for any advice on how to break it on facebook

don't

 

they will figure it out on their own, they most likely already did

only trow it in the open if you want the attention (and no i'm looking down on you if you want that) otherwise don't

 

if some of your friends already know most of them already know, people talk and it's good that they do, people like to know these things so they don't make a social faux-pas

 

as for where to live, do you really want to go back to your home town? that is the question, not where she lives

who gives a damn really

unless your current town is 2 streets big and only has one store and bar that isn't a point at all

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Sounds like you're dealing with it well apart from the hiding aspect, & thats over too.

Probably the best way to break it to othe social networks is similar to here - you were trying to deal with it personally & have generally done so & found new ground to "plant your feet on". A bald but unbiased approach as above will be fairly well accepted, pointing fingers only creates poor feedback from those that will reply with " & what did you do wrong?" or something like it.

 

As far as the internal personal questions, reading between the lines you've already found some of the answers, some of them have no answer till the situation arises, keeping a balanced & open mind will mean the answer remains unknown instead of a definative NO if you let bitterness rule.

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dude

you're my favourite person in the whole world if you didn't already know

i dont know why I just love you very much

 

very sad to hear about that stuff bro :(

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Wilt you were a true bro within the sals cc and always a helpful guy and i know everyone from sals is sending you good wishes because you've been nice to all of us

 

I think the best way to break it to those people would be to simply state without too much detail (don't want people in your business) what happened, you know imply that sometimes things don't work out and don't point fingers either, just show that maturity as you tell people that it didn't work out and 99% of the time people will just be supportive and it won't become like an issue (if that's what you're concerned of)

 

I think you're safe to stay in the apartment you have now but if you want to move i think moving cities would be extreme but finding a new place could be good too, it could help with a new beginning

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Aww, hope things get better for you! :wub:

 

As for Facebook, just make sure you're relationship status is single and people should figure it out from there.

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Hey buddy (sorry for the lateness). I'm so sorry to hear that. I can't say much more than whats already been said.

 

Keep your head up :)

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