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I'm a fool



I hold onto every last hope of getting back with this girl. I know by any sane onlooker I'm lost, I would say the same... She wants space, for now, but wants to maintain friendship. I know what that means.


I accepted that, and tried to act as understanding as I could, because I've perhaps been less than brilliant to her these past... nearly 11 months. We're perfect together, on paper. But everyone tells me I'm too mature for my age in terms of relationships, and tells me that I shouldn't be as serious about them.


I said we wouldn't talk, and would meet up after a while to exchange stuff, but asked her if I could continue wishing her a good morning... I've done it for the last 11 months... She said yes, and damn... that made me the happiest I've been since she broke up with me (albeit the short time since yesterday, I've been up VERY long hours both days).


I'm holding on, I'm stupid, I wasn't good enough... I want to be good enough, I saw it coming, just the smallest of change on my part would have made the world of difference... But I realised that too late :/


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You are just fooling yourself. If a couple is compatible, then there would be no such thing as "just the smallest change" which would save your relationship.


A relationship that is a strong one endures despite minor bumps and disagreements as well as minor flaws on both parts.


Love is looking past things like this and accepting the other for who they are, and loving them despite everything, both in good and bad ways.


While it is clear that you have strong feelings, it is probably best for you to realise that it just is not meant to be, as much as it sucks to hear. You are in that stage where you are desperately clinging on to the faintest of hopes, deluding yourself. :P

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It's not that you weren't good enough, it's that you weren't compatible. Nothing is more miserable than forcing a relationship to work. You and she both deserve better.


Perhaps it's difficult to explain, or I was just blind the whole time and still am, but we were compatible :/

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You're both right, but in terms of a strong relationship, I believe that was down to her... fickleness, as both our parents put it, actually.


I was willing to work through anything, and I was at the stage of realising these things. But she'd made her mind up by then, and perhaps because of how she was, even changes I'd made wouldn't have worked out.


Now, I say a small change, it wasn't small. Not small day-to-day. We agreed about most everything, but this made both her and I miserable a lot. And it was simply because I was over protective and worried. And I could've stopped that, I could've stood back much sooner.


This is why I hang on, but perhaps you are simply right :/

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Compatible does not equal right. So perhaps you shared many interests, had a like mind about certain things, you complemented each other and you both had an attraction and feelings for the other. That is compatability, IE, two persons that should take a shot at a relationship and see how things work out.


However, if a relationship is to be right, it will work. Despite any bump, argument or hindrance the couple face, they overcome. There are enough examples of "right" couples that break up, only to realise their mistake and get back together, but that really does not apply in this case, if you ask me.

If you have waited for 11 months, then it is obviously not going to happen and while such broken up couples might have some awkwardness between them, it is not going to be to the extreme that one would to have to ask for permission to say "Hi" each morning.


By your own words, you are more or less admitting that she is not right for you because she is being too fickle. It seems that it is time for you to let go and come to terms with the fact that you have nothing to gain but pain and sadness by clinging on.


Most of the time, it is easiest for both to just let go and she seems to have done just that. You are next, whether you decide tomorrow or realise it in half a year, it will happen. :P

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If she is saying you're too serious, that isn't really the case. You are in reality more serious about a relationship. You are incompatible because she presumably wants to see other people and not to settle down quite so quickly. It's not that you have a fault and that's not the way to look at it. You are two different people who want two different things.


There are many people out there who I would say are right for each other, a lot of my friends would be perfect relationship material but they aren't the right one for me. That's the line you've got to find in a relationship. Sometimes things just don't work out the way you want them too. That isn't a bad thing, you get to move on to new experiences. It might not seem like you'll get to feel anything near as good as what you had, but it can all come back just as quickly as it was gone.


If you are seriously worried that you are too mature in a relationship. Then think of it this way to ease yourself up a little bit. The first 6 months more or less in a relationship is like a "honeymoon" period. In this time you're all loved up and your hormones are driving you forward. After those 6 months people stop playing their games, you become comfortable with the person. That's when people show you their true colours and if you can bring yourself to terms with getting through that half-year point. You'll get yourself a whole lot further if the person is really the one for you.


A relationship isn't a game to be played, you can't really take it at different angles. You've probably both said and done things you wished you could take back. Everyone has those arguments and things that happen. If you can take it and make it so those arguments are meaningless and that if doesn't have to affect the good side of your relationship you are on the right track.


but we were compatible
Myself and cheesecake are compatible, however cheesecake has a tendancy to make me a little bit fat. We might be the best combination I know but too much of that good thing can send me spiralling like nothing else. Take that how you will.

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