Lately I have been thinking about my worth; what kind of person I am to other people; what am I to them. I ask myself who would miss me should anything happen, or worry about me, should something happen. I think about my family, and how outside the intermediate family, the rest seem distant. I think about how Jo hurt me, and how 2 most recent "crushes" both friend zoned me, with the 2nd having tried to use me, as well as saying I'm one of her best friends, but then showing signs of distrust. I worry about making it through college, or whether I will make it in life. I think about quitting my job, but no where else is hiring, and my current job is best for hours. I feel trapped under a boulder. The job adds more and more stress to my life, and idk how much more I can take. I feel stuff always blows up in my face. I feel worthless, like I can't do anything right. The suicide of the girl has made me think about suicide, but more about the consequences. If there are people that would be hurt, I don't want to hurt them.
Alot is going through my mind right now, most of it, coming and going, I don't even know if this is accurate enough.