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Sir Beck

Entry posted by Sir Beck ·

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I posted this on facebook at ~11 Pm, CST. Basically it's not the big secret here, but I'm gay (duuuuuh), and this is how I came out. I feel like I could have had some better execution and foresight, but I poured out what I felt. I have no idea what's going to happen now, which is obviously scary. I guess so long as my family doesn't have a cumulative heart attack the result is probably for the best. I know it's heavy handed and is basically a letter fuming at the mentioned grandparents, but it is what it is. I'll also add how much I appreciate the support from Sals, and also my real life friends. Love you guys :heart: (maybe a little homo.)

 

Alright, I've been avoiding facebook most of the day, which is kind of unfortunate because despite the glaring privacy issues and generally poor design and "customer appreciation" I like the service to keep up with the....5 people I care about.

 

Let me walk you through this.

My lovely grandparents (I mean that.) issued a message pointing out that Bill Nye was an atheist. I KNOW THAT.

The thing is, I don't care. Science is a completely respectable profession, even avocation. His lack of religion doesn't change that.

But the more important thing is, I'm done hiding.

 

OK, now let me walk you through THIS.

It was around thanksgiving senior year when I realized I had a full on crush for one of my classmates... who was a guy. So yes. I'm gay. This isn't a choice I've made. Two points: when did you decide to be heterosexual, and why would I chose to be reviled by society and my own family?

Naturally this revelation lead me to question everything. Politically speaking, I cannot be for a party that wishes to ensure I am not treated as an equal citizen, and who is convinced I'm part of an organized effort to undermine society. Please tell me this sounds ridiculous to you. I'm not saying I'm liberal, necessarily, I'm saying the government should not be moral enforcers.

Throughout life I was always weak in faith anyway. (if you feel the need to blame someone, mom has already taken responsibility before.) Anything I was holding on to after my "startling revelation" completely vanished after, as it seemed paradoxical that a divine being should treat anyone in such manners. As a specific example, completely unrelated to me, with the tower of Bable, God was not proud of his creation when they built it, (whose height we have surpassed.) No, he struck them down because his playthings were outgrowing him. Even in the Garden, who puts a toxic waste dump in the middle of it and tells them "don't eat it, it's bad for you" and doesn't at least put a fence around it? Or, you know, doesn't put it in at all.

If there is a God, it is a loving god, and He surely isn't worshiped in any modern religion.

So there you have it, I'm a gay semi-liberal atheist, everything against you. Go ahead and call everyone, I stopped caring. I just want you all to know where I'm coming from. I really do love my family, but I cannot change who I am, and you need to accept that.

If you want I can list all the emotional trauma it's caused.


12 Comments

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reepicheep

It's awesome that you came out, and it sucks that your family wouldn't appreciate you for who you are. I hope they realise that you're still the same person you were, just with different beliefs from them. It also sucks that you got this crappy impression of religion now, but I can understand where you're coming from.

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Fabio

yh man hopefully your family goes 2 appreciate u man!! not ur fault ur gay! good luck through this tough period, but you'll get out it stronger!!

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Guitarguy

Wouldn't come out as an atheist and gay at the same time personally.

Or as semi-liberal, to some people. -.-

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Sobend

Sobend, on , said:

 

Wouldn't come out as an atheist and gay at the same time personally.

Or as semi-liberal, to some people. -.-

Well there's little need to indirectly insult many religious people in an otherwise nice coming out write up. Not to mention he said there are only five people he cares about.

 

You (Kaos) have many misconceptions about not only Christianity but religions in general. Saying that no modern religion worships a loving god is untrue, even if it seems like that. There are a lot of modern religions out there... I think there would be one that you would agree worships a "loving god."

 

And I realize this was an emotional message and you didn't think this through 100%.

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Sir Beck

Guitarguy, on , said:

 

Sobend, on , said:

 

Wouldn't come out as an atheist and gay at the same time personally.

Or as semi-liberal, to some people. -.-

Well there's little need to indirectly insult many religious people in an otherwise nice coming out write up. Not to mention he said there are only five people he cares about.

 

You (Kaos) have many misconceptions about not only Christianity but religions in general. Saying that no modern religion worships a loving god is untrue, even if it seems like that. There are a lot of modern religions out there... I think there would be one that you would agree worships a "loving god."

 

And I realize this was an emotional message and you didn't think this through 100%.

 

Yeah, exactly. I just wanted to get the message across, as to where I stand. I recognize that there may be a loving god indeed, but I sure can't find him. That doesn't mean he doesn't exist, I suppose.

 

Also as near as I can tell my family doesn't actually read my statuses. They probably think it's another technical piece that goes way above their heads.

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reepicheep

Sobend, on , said:

 

Guitarguy, on , said:

 

Sobend, on , said:

 

Wouldn't come out as an atheist and gay at the same time personally.

Or as semi-liberal, to some people. -.-

Well there's little need to indirectly insult many religious people in an otherwise nice coming out write up. Not to mention he said there are only five people he cares about.

 

You (Kaos) have many misconceptions about not only Christianity but religions in general. Saying that no modern religion worships a loving god is untrue, even if it seems like that. There are a lot of modern religions out there... I think there would be one that you would agree worships a "loving god."

 

And I realize this was an emotional message and you didn't think this through 100%.

 

Yeah, exactly. I just wanted to get the message across, as to where I stand. I recognize that there may be a loving god indeed, but I sure can't find him. That doesn't mean he doesn't exist, I suppose.

 

Also as near as I can tell my family doesn't actually read my statuses. They probably think it's another technical piece that goes way above their heads.

If you ever feel like talking about Christianity PM me. Like Sobend said, I feel like you have a lot of misconceptions of it, and I'd like to try and change your mind. Entirely up to you, obviously.

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Moog

Wouldn't come out as an atheist and gay at the same time personally.

 

this is what i did and it didnt go so well.

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Josh

i didn't know beck

 

yea me too i can't believe you're a semi-liberal

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Fafnir_Sturm

Change can be scary. It sounds like you made a change that will let you live more openly and freely though. Your family might start to think somewhat differently with you being openly gay now. I hope they will at least. In any case, sorry for any pains you may be going through, stay true to yourself, and know that your Sal's family has your back.

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