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I'm looking for some advice on an old friend



A while back I joined a guild in a game I play. It was a relatively small and tight-nit guild, so we all became good friends. Eventually a most people quit or became inactive, so I decided to leave in order to find a more active setting.


Unfortunately, this made one guild member lose her mind. She disappeared from the game for over a year, deleted everyone from her friends lists, and left the old guild. I know she has been back recently, and I talked to her briefly this summer. From what I gathered, my leaving sent her spiraling into depression (Which was pre-existing, but this sent her over the edge), made her reclusive for the time she was gone, among other things that aren't relevant here. I also said some things this summer that I meant as sincere and true, but may (and probably did) have come off as rude, snide or condescending.


So my question for you guys is should I try to make amends or just let bygones be bygones and avoid her? It may not sound like it from the rest of the post, but I miss having her around as a friend. It's like losing a really good friend you had for a number of years who disappeared out of the blue.


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I don't know her irl, but it was a really tight group that we had. I knew most peoples' first names.

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Man if she went batshizzle over online friends leaving a gaming group, she must be a blast.


I wouldn't.

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I miss having her around as a friend

You seem to answer this yourself, unless you feel that you do not want to go through the effort?

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I read your post, and thought I might make the time to respond to it. - Sorry that I dont know you or your (general) situation.


It gets tricky. What it will all boil down to though, is gut vs head vs heart.


Look at why you are asking yourself (and others) what you should do. Are you worried that you are going to cause HER problems or are you worried that she will cause YOU problems or BOTH?


Some people (and maybe this is her) go through a lot in life (sometimes they show it, other times they dont and it just spills out by accident later) and you can try to extend your hand in love and friendship but no matter what you do, the termoil she is going though will overwhelm her and as a result, to you it might look like shes slapping you in the face or a whole bunch of other negative things.


Long story short. I think you should try to make amends but also try not to expect anything - just try to roll with what happens. Try not to invest to much emotion but still be there for her, if that makes sense.

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