Wild child
Entry posted by Sofee
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So, life has gotten a bit out of hand since the breakup, which was about 6 months ago. I hate that I keep referring to my life as if it revolves around that event but, it'll do.
I've been thoroughly enjoying doing whatever I want whenever I want without feeling guilty, probably the best part of the single life. One of these was playing games - she hated me playing games and I often would lie to her and not-so-sneakily do it anyway. So in recent times I've been spending a lot of my free time playing with my friends on LoL and PUBG. After I quit Runescape I vowed to never play a similar PC game again in fear of getting ridiculously addicted and selling my soul to the computer gods. My ex-bf (of 4 years ago) convinced me to try out LoL and my love for gaming was re-ignited. Since then, I've made friends with a lot of his friends through Discord when playing the games, and led me to buying a gaming PC a few months ago, which cost nearly $2k AUD. This made me able to play PUBG which opened up a whole new can of worms with getting to know his friends, and eventually his friends' girlfriends. My social circle exploded and ever since I've been out partying at least once a week. And then a few weeks ago, I ran out of alcohol so I bought a bottle of vodka (700ml) for a party, came back home, and realised there was about 1/3 left in the bottle. I hardly noticed that what was once a lightweight 2-drink girl, had become a 10-drink girl, and my tolerance had gone through the roof. Now, I don't drink aside from social events because I hate the taste of alcohol. I'd much rather drink water than a glass of wine. But this is a little concerning because now I'm worried about my liver and health, what kind of realistic negative consequences could come out from this? I feel like I'm unable to have fun at a night out if I'm not drunk since I'm very introverted. Usually in a group situation I'm very quiet because it's so exhausting trying to participate in group politics. Trying to get a word in, and when you get a word in you're cut off, seeing everyone else trying to get a word in at the same time and 'competing' with each other for dominance. It's too much. But when alcohol is involved, I've been told that I'm the 'life of the party', and all hell breaks loose - the good kind. I wonder if it's a bad thing to have such a heavy reliance on alcohol to feel confident in big social situations. Who am I kidding, of course it is. It's a confidence issue, not a drinking issue. So that's what I'm trying to work on now. Different topic!
About 2 months ago I flew to Melbourne for an in-person job interview for my Canada working holiday. When I Uber'ed into the city to my hostel, the streets were alive and there were lines hanging out of pubs. AT 1AM ON A TUESDAY NIGHT. Being a bogan Perth girl, this was shocking. At that time of the night, my city would be completely dead. So this was a very welcome surprise. In preparation for my job interview later that morning, I decided to try out Melbourne's coffee - take note I don't drink coffee. It was smooth, silky, and just the right tinge of bitterness. I was already sold on moving to this city one day. I proceeded to smash my interview, get the job I wanted at the resort I wanted, and walked around the beautiful city. That night, I met up with our very own @O hai im KAMIL at a bar which AGAIN was full on a weekday night. Let me paint the scene. Us two, glugging down jugs of beer and sweet fruity alcohols, reminiscing over the good ol' days of Sals and our lives in general. It's weird trying to pronounce certain Sals usernames or RS words when you've only read them. It was such a cool but strange experience verbally talking about this part of our lives, since only members of the community can -really- understand the impact of it. I've tried talking about it with my IRL friends, but what can you say, "I played this game and joined a forum where I made friends and had lots of fun". They're like, "cool bro", as if it wasn't a monumental part of my life that greatly influenced the way I am. So it was exciting to meet someone who FINALLY understands this little nugget of life tucked away in our childhoods. He spent the tail end of the night trying not to throw up and I spent the morning after wondering if it was worth living to the afternoon, but in all a pretty successful time. We spent the next few days hanging out, with Kamil attempting to showcase his touristing skillz and demonstrate how the tram system works and that I didn't actually have to walk 20 minutes in any given direction. I had a blast, and I'm very thankful for his tourist services. I'd greatly recommend them once he polishes up his directions game and walking endurance :P . Also, the guy lifts big time, so if you twist an ankle, you can bet he'll carry you around like one of those little horses.
Back onto the social stuff. With my ex-gf, we were actually hanging out quite a bit a few months after the breakup. Talking to her still felt so natural, so fluid, as if nothing had changed. When things got bad, we'd just run to each other and it would all be ok. We were trying to be friends, tying up loose ends, I was looking after her a bit, in all it was super unhealthy. I found a used condom in a bag on the floor of her house, and it crushed me nearly as hard as her when she found out that I was sleeping with my ex-bf, her arch nemesis. You can't be friends with someone you're still in love with. So, we made the decision to cut contact until I come back from Canada, which would be mid-2018. That day when I left her house for the last time, she kissed me, and we let each other go. I felt overwhelmingly sad, but liberated at the same time. I was free. And now, I can feel myself slowly getting over her. Her memory is slipping away from mine, and I'm conflicted whether to let it slip, or to hang onto it a little longer, to extend the healing period. I miss her, and I'm not over her, and I'm sad, but now's the time to look to the future and move onto bigger and better things.
My life now is completely different to what it was 6 months ago. My circle of friends are very...open, you might say. There are pretty much no boundaries. I've become the person who all the girls are like 'ooh, I've always wanted to explore my sexuality, let's take advantage of single Sofee'. Which I'm not-so-secretly happy about (especially my ex-bf's friend's gf, heh). This, in contrast to my conservative group of high school friends, is a welcome change. It's the time of my life where I'll look back and think 'ah, that was wild. To be young again...'. So you bet I'll be taking FULL ADVANTAGE of my situation.
As for Canada, things are coming closer and closer to finalising everything! I've booked a one-way ticket on the 27th of November to Vancouver, where I'll make my way by bus to Calgary, then Invermere, then Panorama Mountain Village a few days after that. I'm going to be a ski lift attendant! Staff housing on the mountain is full, so I'm trying to sort out accommodation in Invermere, which is a city about 20 minutes away from Panorama. I've got a decent rental condo locked down close to a gym and the shuttle pickup point, and am currently trying to figure out the roommate situation. I'm super excited for this adventure, away from home for 5 months! I wonder how much more could change. Knowing the ski worker culture, probably not my drinking habits, heh.
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