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Wild child

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Sofee

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So, life has gotten a bit out of hand since the breakup, which was about 6 months ago. I hate that I keep referring to my life as if it revolves around that event but, it'll do.

I've been thoroughly enjoying doing whatever I want whenever I want without feeling guilty, probably the best part of the single life. One of these was playing games - she hated me playing games and I often would lie to her and not-so-sneakily do it anyway. So in recent times I've been spending a lot of my free time playing with my friends on LoL and PUBG. After I quit Runescape I vowed to never play a similar PC game again in fear of getting ridiculously addicted and selling my soul to the computer gods. My ex-bf (of 4 years ago) convinced me to try out LoL and my love for gaming was re-ignited. Since then, I've made friends with a lot of his friends through Discord when playing the games, and led me to buying a gaming PC a few months ago, which cost nearly $2k AUD. This made me able to play PUBG which opened up a whole new can of worms with getting to know his friends, and eventually his friends' girlfriends. My social circle exploded and ever since I've been out partying at least once a week. And then a few weeks ago, I ran out of alcohol so I bought a bottle of vodka (700ml) for a party, came back home, and realised there was about 1/3 left in the bottle. I hardly noticed that what was once a lightweight 2-drink girl, had become a 10-drink girl, and my tolerance had gone through the roof. Now, I don't drink aside from social events because I hate the taste of alcohol. I'd much rather drink water than a glass of wine. But this is a little concerning because now I'm worried about my liver and health, what kind of realistic negative consequences could come out from this? I feel like I'm unable to have fun at a night out if I'm not drunk since I'm very introverted. Usually in a group situation I'm very quiet because it's so exhausting trying to participate in group politics. Trying to get a word in, and when you get a word in you're cut off, seeing everyone else trying to get a word in at the same time and 'competing' with each other for dominance. It's too much. But when alcohol is involved, I've been told that I'm the 'life of the party', and all hell breaks loose - the good kind. I wonder if it's a bad thing to have such a heavy reliance on alcohol to feel confident in big social situations. Who am I kidding, of course it is. It's a confidence issue, not a drinking issue. So that's what I'm trying to work on now. Different topic!

About 2 months ago I flew to Melbourne for an in-person job interview for my Canada working holiday. When I Uber'ed into the city to my hostel, the streets were alive and there were lines hanging out of pubs. AT 1AM ON A TUESDAY NIGHT. Being a bogan Perth girl, this was shocking. At that time of the night, my city would be completely dead. So this was a very welcome surprise. In preparation for my job interview later that morning, I decided to try out Melbourne's coffee - take note I don't drink coffee. It was smooth, silky, and just the right tinge of bitterness. I was already sold on moving to this city one day. I proceeded to smash my interview, get the job I wanted at the resort I wanted, and walked around the beautiful city. That night, I met up with our very own @O hai im KAMIL at a bar which AGAIN was full on a weekday night. Let me paint the scene. Us two, glugging down jugs of beer and sweet fruity alcohols, reminiscing over the good ol' days of Sals and our lives in general. It's weird trying to pronounce certain Sals usernames or RS words when you've only read them. It was such a cool but strange experience verbally talking about this part of our lives, since only members of the community can -really- understand the impact of it. I've tried talking about it with my IRL friends, but what can you say, "I played this game and joined a forum where I made friends and had lots of fun". They're like, "cool bro", as if it wasn't a monumental part of my life that greatly influenced the way I am. So it was exciting to meet someone who FINALLY understands this little nugget of life tucked away in our childhoods. He spent the tail end of the night trying not to throw up and I spent the morning after wondering if it was worth living to the afternoon, but in all a pretty successful time. We spent the next few days hanging out, with Kamil attempting to showcase his touristing skillz and demonstrate how the tram system works and that I didn't actually have to walk 20 minutes in any given direction. I had a blast, and I'm very thankful for his tourist services. I'd greatly recommend them once he polishes up his directions game and walking endurance :P . Also, the guy lifts big time, so if you twist an ankle, you can bet he'll carry you around like one of those little horses.

Back onto the social stuff. With my ex-gf, we were actually hanging out quite a bit a few months after the breakup. Talking to her still felt so natural, so fluid, as if nothing had changed. When things got bad, we'd just run to each other and it would all be ok. We were trying to be friends, tying up loose ends, I was looking after her a bit, in all it was super unhealthy. I found a used condom in a bag on the floor of her house, and it crushed me nearly as hard as her when she found out that I was sleeping with my ex-bf, her arch nemesis. You can't be friends with someone you're still in love with. So, we made the decision to cut contact until I come back from Canada, which would be mid-2018. That day when I left her house for the last time, she kissed me, and we let each other go. I felt overwhelmingly sad, but liberated at the same time. I was free. And now, I can feel myself slowly getting over her. Her memory is slipping away from mine, and I'm conflicted whether to let it slip, or to hang onto it a little longer, to extend the healing period. I miss her, and I'm not over her, and I'm sad, but now's the time to look to the future and move onto bigger and better things.

My life now is completely different to what it was 6 months ago. My circle of friends are very...open, you might say. There are pretty much no boundaries. I've become the person who all the girls are like 'ooh, I've always wanted to explore my sexuality, let's take advantage of single Sofee'. Which I'm not-so-secretly happy about (especially my ex-bf's friend's gf, heh). This, in contrast to my conservative group of high school friends, is a welcome change. It's the time of my life where I'll look back and think 'ah, that was wild. To be young again...'. So you bet I'll be taking FULL ADVANTAGE of my situation. 

As for Canada, things are coming closer and closer to finalising everything! I've booked a one-way ticket on the 27th of November to Vancouver, where I'll make my way by bus to Calgary, then Invermere, then Panorama Mountain Village a few days after that. I'm going to be a ski lift attendant! Staff housing on the mountain is full, so I'm trying to sort out accommodation in Invermere, which is a city about 20 minutes away from Panorama. I've got a decent rental condo locked down close to a gym and the shuttle pickup point, and am currently trying to figure out the roommate situation. I'm super excited for this adventure, away from home for 5 months! I wonder how much more could change. Knowing the ski worker culture, probably not my drinking habits, heh.

 

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HAHAHAHA

I'm glad u had fun friendo, I greatly enjoyed your company and we both managed to not throw up so respect to us. Also pre sure u lift more than me but anyway ;)

All this bf gf ex-gf bf pronouns are confusing u need to do names again!! But shizzle you're gonna have so much fun in Canada im jealous af. I'm just going on a road trip at the end of exams and was considering going to Perth but it's probably too far haha

Also I've got the video of u skulling that drink I'll upload it here!!

Edited by O hai im KAMIL

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3 hours ago, O hai im KAMIL said:

HAHAHAHA

I'm glad u had fun friendo, I greatly enjoyed your company and we both managed to not throw up so respect to us. Also pre sure u lift more than me but anyway ;)

All this bf gf ex-gf bf pronouns are confusing u need to do names again!! But shizzle you're gonna have so much fun in Canada im jealous af. I'm just going on a road trip at the end of exams and was considering going to Perth but it's probably too far haha

Also I've got the video of u skulling that drink I'll upload it here!!

Shh I'm trying to be modest here ;P . I thought I was getting too old for codenames but I might whip them out again!

And OH GOD (do it)

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23 hours ago, O hai im KAMIL said:

https://i.imgur.com/GvAePei.gifv

apologys for poor camera work

That wince at the end hahaha. I'll also recommend your touristing business once your camerawork gets better :/

 

4 hours ago, Young Leo said:

Dude it's horrid. 0/100

 

Enjoy Canada, Sofee! Also try Witcher 3 on your gaming PC, it's a great game

Thanks I will do! I've played Witcher 3 on the PS4, whew it's quite the game. Got a bit repetitive towards the end though. Bloody baron quest was the best.

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The thing i'm learning more and more as you get older is that people change dramatically and who you are and were and who she is and was then are completely different. It's hard to imagine it, but just think of all the things you've done in the last 5 years of your life and how you've changed since then.

This part of your life will be an interesting one, lot's of people start finding themselves and who they are and what they like and don't like. You had things that were clearly bugging you in your relationship and now that you've had time to go out and start exploring a little bit you're learning more about yourself.

I recently came out of a relationship with someone I still consider the love of my life. She is everything and more to me and we'd been going steady for about 8 years now. It's hard for me to let go of her, knowing everything we have together and everything we went through. But the differences between who we are now and what we were then are massive. She changed so much as did I. Our interests didn't line up like they used too. I've been away from her for about 4 months and every month it's getting easier and easier but it's still a massive hole left in my heart.

I will be heart broken the day she's moved on from me. This mega relationship, the woman I fell in love with and the inability to change our crazy amount of history together. All the good times and the bad all rolled up into our memories and we just have to move on and hope we are making the right choices for ourselves and each other.

I hope the pain of what happened fades away and you're left with positive memories of her if not, I hope it all works out between you one day perhaps.

If you have a heart going spare, lemme borrow it, mines utterly destroyed. :laugh:

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10 hours ago, Fatalysm said:

The thing i'm learning more and more as you get older is that people change dramatically and who you are and were and who she is and was then are completely different. It's hard to imagine it, but just think of all the things you've done in the last 5 years of your life and how you've changed since then.

This part of your life will be an interesting one, lot's of people start finding themselves and who they are and what they like and don't like. You had things that were clearly bugging you in your relationship and now that you've had time to go out and start exploring a little bit you're learning more about yourself.

I recently came out of a relationship with someone I still consider the love of my life. She is everything and more to me and we'd been going steady for about 8 years now. It's hard for me to let go of her, knowing everything we have together and everything we went through. But the differences between who we are now and what we were then are massive. She changed so much as did I. Our interests didn't line up like they used too. I've been away from her for about 4 months and every month it's getting easier and easier but it's still a massive hole left in my heart.

I will be heart broken the day she's moved on from me. This mega relationship, the woman I fell in love with and the inability to change our crazy amount of history together. All the good times and the bad all rolled up into our memories and we just have to move on and hope we are making the right choices for ourselves and each other.

I hope the pain of what happened fades away and you're left with positive memories of her if not, I hope it all works out between you one day perhaps.

If you have a heart going spare, lemme borrow it, mines utterly destroyed. :laugh:

 In the span of 3 years we've already changed drastically, well given it was ages 17-20 even more so. I dunno if we can even be friends in the future, we'll probably have grown apart even more by then. 

Sorry to hear about your relationship woes, you can borrow my heart, it's got some scrapes and nicks but it'll do :P

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I once quit alcohol for almost three months because of a rough night.  At first it was very strange because I felt like I went from being very popular to having no friends at all.  I eventually found other things to do, you just need to give it time.  I think it is good for your development to have a period where you quit drinking heavily.  If I did not have that I would have lived my whole life believing it is not possible to have fun without being drunk.  Also you will get over your ex-gf, someone better will eventually come along and you will no longer have any feelings for her.

Cool to see you met up with Kamil.  Its good for all of us to keep in touch.  I have met up with @Sobend numerous times but he is really lame and I would not recommend it.

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13 hours ago, Sobend said:

And the Academy Award for Best Cinematography goes to...

I quite enjoyed it. Felt like I was 12 drinks deep and really there :ice:

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9 hours ago, Shooter585 said:

I once quit alcohol for almost three months because of a rough night.  At first it was very strange because I felt like I went from being very popular to having no friends at all.  I eventually found other things to do, you just need to give it time.  I think it is good for your development to have a period where you quit drinking heavily.  If I did not have that I would have lived my whole life believing it is not possible to have fun without being drunk.  Also you will get over your ex-gf, someone better will eventually come along and you will no longer have any feelings for her.

Cool to see you met up with Kamil.  Its good for all of us to keep in touch.  I have met up with @Sobend numerous times but he is really lame and I would not recommend it.

Just one rough night, oh god I'm not sure if I should ask. Sounds like an interesting transition, I'll try to keep the bottle away until Canada, because it'll probably get even worse over there. Good advice. Yeah I'll get over her, only a matter of time.

Ew I can imagine :/

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On 10/18/2017 at 1:34 AM, Egghebrecht said:

Soffe, in my head you are still a 12 year old girl, not a grown up woman

this video was clearly staged, admit it

I am also still a 12yo girl in my mind, what has my life come to :crying:

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Sofee, it's so weird how we've all watched each other grow up from over the internet throughout Sal's existence. Can relate to the drinking. Not knowing what's gonna happen later in life. Though I was worse when I was a sophomore in high school in 2009 and drunk Runescaping lmao. Anyway, I hope and know that it's gonna all work out for you. 

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On 10/23/2017 at 4:42 PM, im gona mill burray ur mom said:

[wtf this pic is]

I thought you were an Ameridog D: 

On 11/6/2017 at 10:39 AM, Twist of Fate said:

Sofee, it's so weird how we've all watched each other grow up from over the internet throughout Sal's existence. Can relate to the drinking. Not knowing what's gonna happen later in life. Though I was worse when I was a sophomore in high school in 2009 and drunk Runescaping lmao. Anyway, I hope and know that it's gonna all work out for you. 

It is very weird, I remember you posting videos of your guitar playing skillz and your multiple girlfriends and that highschool emo phase. Many thanks!

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Quote

But when alcohol is involved, I've been told that I'm the 'life of the party', and all hell breaks loose - the good kind. I wonder if it's a bad thing to have such a heavy reliance on alcohol to feel confident in big social situations. Who am I kidding, of course it is. It's a confidence issue, not a drinking issue. So that's what I'm trying to work on now. Different topic!

Wait this is me. If you figure out how to make it work, tell me, because so far just the gym doesn’t work (what I am trying)

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