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Life update?

Sofee

Entry posted by Sofee

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So the last time I wrote a proper blog entry was 3 years ago, in the middle of my working holiday in Canada. Since I'm nostalgia-ing away on Sals, might as well write this up before another 3 years pass!

It was a once in a lifetime opportunity, I stayed for about a year working seasonal jobs, and went on some crazy ass adventures. I bought a minivan and inflatable mattress, and basically did a solo trip around USA's west coast living it up. Lots of hiking, eating, got some tattoos, sometimes meeting new people, but most of it was spent by myself. It was very chilled. Worked a summer job at a glacier. Long summer nights with new friends, spent floating around in our inflatable canoes on turquoise glacier-fed water. Went on a second USA roadtrip with these friends, about 8 of us split between two cars. One of the best and most stressful times of my life. Blowouts between friends, problems with the car, incredible sunsets over the grand canyon. I stuck with my friends that I made in my previous winter job (see 2nd last entry), and yes the girl, and we agreed to be exclusive eventually. It was really nice, but we always knew that it would be temporary. Still, we made the most out of our temporary relationship, and I wouldn't have had it differently. 

Recalling this Canada experience gives me extreme nostalgia, second to the nostalgia of Sals. There were no responsibilities, every day was a new adventure, spontaneity all the time, we were truly living in the present. When I eventually flew back home to Australia, I struggled. For a while. I remember distinctly returning back to my parents' house, and after all the 'welcome back's, I had a shower. It was the strangest feeling - like no time had passed at all, I was having a shower like I did every other day in that bathroom. I had changed, and nobody around me understood, because they weren't with me, and all the friends I made in Canada were gone. I went from the excitement of not knowing what would happen each day, to a life of routine and repetition. From spending a year sleeping next to someone in bed, to sleeping alone. I've always been a laid back person, and very fortunate to not be affected by mental illnesses throughout teenagehood. For the first time in my life, at age 21, I was quite severely depressed, and I didn't know what to do with myself. Every single day, it felt like I had this ball in my stomach, tortuously twisting and turning. I was desperate to get back the life I used to have, living without a care in the world, and doing whatever I wanted to, without consequence. I knew that I needed a change, so I moved out of my parents' house, got a full-time job in the industry I studied for, hit the gym hard, went on Tinder, basically tried to distract myself with anything and everything. Still the feeling didn't go away, and even now I can honestly say, that there's no way I could've lived with 'that feeling' inside me for the rest of my life. If somehow I knew that that was going to be forever, I would've ended it. I was getting involved with girls no good for me and exacerbated my depression, but I just needed to feel something. I went to therapy which was alright, but what got me through in the end was knowing that only time could heal what I was feeling. It was a bit of a process, but eventually made it.

Fast forward to today at age 24, I have a great girlfriend who I'm pretty sure is my future wife, I bought an investment property over in Brisbane, and I have a well-paying job that I enjoy and have near-full autonomy over what I do day to day. Actually, tomorrow I'm getting a student assistant who will be helping me out, and at my age it's pretty unreal that I get to manage someone! Also just in general thinking about my life thus far, the adventures I've gone on and life experiences I've had, at 24 I'm pretty exhausted after all that and I'm ready to settle. God it feels weird to say that. I'm still so young! I'm very lucky to be in the position that I'm in now and I'm milking every second of my youth. 

Nowadays, I play league of legends (hardstuck gold), I've just started playing OSRS again, gyming, going out on the town, watching stuff on tv, catching up with friends. Sounds pretty boring and generic hobbies, but I'm genuinely very content with myself and life. 

Next blog post I'll probably be married with another couple houses and 10 kids! :biggrin:

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Sofee
14 hours ago, Wiltingplant said:

Proud of you dude! What an adventure. Thanks for popping back to update us. Here's to a wonderful next three years <3

How could I forget...I also visited this noob a couple times. Climbed up a mountain and everything. Only thing that would've improved the experience is if your kitty was around back then! :biggrin:

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Yuanrang
On 10/25/2021 at 11:10 AM, Sofee said:

Also just in general thinking about my life thus far, the adventures I've gone on and life experiences I've had, at 24 I'm pretty exhausted after all that and I'm ready to settle. God it feels weird to say that. I'm still so young! I'm very lucky to be in the position that I'm in now and I'm milking every second of my youth. 

It feels a bit weird to only condence an entire lifetime of experiences and adventures into a single portion, but I think this part stood out to me the most.

I think the quoted part is the most interesting, because it accurately portrays that experience of suddenly realizing that one is old enough to put a lifetime of adventures, rebellion and craziness behind themselves. You seem to have lived an exciting life, but I think you accurately describe that transition when you realise that you want to live a certain way forever, but you face that existential dread of realising it is unfeasible and unobtainable. "Being stuck in adulthood" is a fear I think a lot of teenagers and young adults end up having, because they fear their lives will become bleak and boring eventually. Hogwash!

After a bit, you look back and realise that you ended up being an adult. You took your education, you got your job, you earned enough money, you are starting to settle down, you start focusing on obtaining property, you meet someone you feel comfortable, and suddenly everything clicks into place. It might seem like a prison, and an existence that traps you into the same boring pattern, but... here is my tip from experience: It is not a prison at all. It is in fact the removal of all ties that bind you, and giving you the freedom to live your life freely and without worry. Save enough money, and you own your property. Save enough money, and you can backpack for years on end, experiencing everything the world has to offer. You just might not realise that you have the freedom, until you "wake up".
 

I am glad to hear that you sound quite awake already. :hug2: 

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Sofee
On 10/27/2021 at 2:08 AM, Yuanrang said:

It feels a bit weird to only condence an entire lifetime of experiences and adventures into a single portion, but I think this part stood out to me the most.

I think the quoted part is the most interesting, because it accurately portrays that experience of suddenly realizing that one is old enough to put a lifetime of adventures, rebellion and craziness behind themselves. You seem to have lived an exciting life, but I think you accurately describe that transition when you realise that you want to live a certain way forever, but you face that existential dread of realising it is unfeasible and unobtainable. "Being stuck in adulthood" is a fear I think a lot of teenagers and young adults end up having, because they fear their lives will become bleak and boring eventually. Hogwash!

After a bit, you look back and realise that you ended up being an adult. You took your education, you got your job, you earned enough money, you are starting to settle down, you start focusing on obtaining property, you meet someone you feel comfortable, and suddenly everything clicks into place. It might seem like a prison, and an existence that traps you into the same boring pattern, but... here is my tip from experience: It is not a prison at all. It is in fact the removal of all ties that bind you, and giving you the freedom to live your life freely and without worry. Save enough money, and you own your property. Save enough money, and you can backpack for years on end, experiencing everything the world has to offer. You just might not realise that you have the freedom, until you "wake up".
 

I am glad to hear that you sound quite awake already. :hug2: 

Always the one with the words Yuan, well said. I suppose everybody gets to this stage of life at some point, some earlier than others - there are people from my year in highschool already having kids, so they're way past me! And then there are those who are still 'finding themselves' past age 30; I made friends with many of them in Canada. And my 'settle down' time has come! I look back at my time in Canada with such warmth and fondness and it is hard to let go of the fact that I will never feel that magic again, even if I go backpacking again, it won't be the same. Then again, the rose-tinted glasses always get put on and it's easy to forget the stressful parts of living abroad. 

Hope you are doing well too :smile:

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Yuanrang
11 hours ago, Sofee said:

I suppose everybody gets to this stage of life at some point, some earlier than others - there are people from my year in highschool already having kids, so they're way past me!

Then again, you do not need much planning to have kids! I know a lot of people from my year that ended up getting kids years before they were ready. Some, to be fair, are not even ready to this day. Children is probably a joy, but they certainly also seem like a prison. I think being grown up to want to "settle" down comes in many shapes, sizes and situations. :cute: 

What I would say is that, after settling down, I would say that "feeling the magic" is more about a state of mind. I find that one's definition of "magic" often changes, so my best suggestion is for you to look for what is magical to you nowadays, if you want to feel that... comfort, passion and happiness. :tongue: 

I am doing well, yeah. I am bracing myself from the pre-Christmas rush with grading and assessing students, and facing the dread of 6 months of snow and ice during the darkness of winter, but at least the non-work parts of my life is going rather well. :biggrin: 

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Kemosabe

Glad to hear you're doing well! If you still enjoy adventuring and hiking, you should pop over to New Zealand sometime after the bubble re-opens.

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Sofee
On 11/15/2021 at 12:18 AM, Yuanrang said:

Then again, you do not need much planning to have kids! I know a lot of people from my year that ended up getting kids years before they were ready. Some, to be fair, are not even ready to this day. Children is probably a joy, but they certainly also seem like a prison. I think being grown up to want to "settle" down comes in many shapes, sizes and situations. :cute: 

What I would say is that, after settling down, I would say that "feeling the magic" is more about a state of mind. I find that one's definition of "magic" often changes, so my best suggestion is for you to look for what is magical to you nowadays, if you want to feel that... comfort, passion and happiness. :tongue: 

I am doing well, yeah. I am bracing myself from the pre-Christmas rush with grading and assessing students, and facing the dread of 6 months of snow and ice during the darkness of winter, but at least the non-work parts of my life is going rather well. :biggrin: 

At the moment, the new Netflix series Arcane is making me feel pretty magical, so there's that :biggrin: stay safe in your winter, that sounds horrible, meanwhile I'm bracing myself for our blistering summers!

 

On 11/17/2021 at 3:25 PM, Kemosabe said:

Glad to hear you're doing well! If you still enjoy adventuring and hiking, you should pop over to New Zealand sometime after the bubble re-opens.

Funnily enough, my gf is from NZ (Dunedin), and that's the next place we're planning to travel to, to see her family and do some adventuring. I'll have to hit you up when we eventually go over!

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