So the last time I wrote a proper blog entry was 3 years ago, in the middle of my working holiday in Canada. Since I'm nostalgia-ing away on Sals, might as well write this up before another 3 years pass!
It was a once in a lifetime opportunity, I stayed for about a year working seasonal jobs, and went on some crazy ass adventures. I bought a minivan and inflatable mattress, and basically did a solo trip around USA's west coast living it up. Lots of hiking, eating, got some tattoos, sometimes meeting new people, but most of it was spent by myself. It was very chilled. Worked a summer job at a glacier. Long summer nights with new friends, spent floating around in our inflatable canoes on turquoise glacier-fed water. Went on a second USA roadtrip with these friends, about 8 of us split between two cars. One of the best and most stressful times of my life. Blowouts between friends, problems with the car, incredible sunsets over the grand canyon. I stuck with my friends that I made in my previous winter job (see 2nd last entry), and yes the girl, and we agreed to be exclusive eventually. It was really nice, but we always knew that it would be temporary. Still, we made the most out of our temporary relationship, and I wouldn't have had it differently.
Recalling this Canada experience gives me extreme nostalgia, second to the nostalgia of Sals. There were no responsibilities, every day was a new adventure, spontaneity all the time, we were truly living in the present. When I eventually flew back home to Australia, I struggled. For a while. I remember distinctly returning back to my parents' house, and after all the 'welcome back's, I had a shower. It was the strangest feeling - like no time had passed at all, I was having a shower like I did every other day in that bathroom. I had changed, and nobody around me understood, because they weren't with me, and all the friends I made in Canada were gone. I went from the excitement of not knowing what would happen each day, to a life of routine and repetition. From spending a year sleeping next to someone in bed, to sleeping alone. I've always been a laid back person, and very fortunate to not be affected by mental illnesses throughout teenagehood. For the first time in my life, at age 21, I was quite severely depressed, and I didn't know what to do with myself. Every single day, it felt like I had this ball in my stomach, tortuously twisting and turning. I was desperate to get back the life I used to have, living without a care in the world, and doing whatever I wanted to, without consequence. I knew that I needed a change, so I moved out of my parents' house, got a full-time job in the industry I studied for, hit the gym hard, went on Tinder, basically tried to distract myself with anything and everything. Still the feeling didn't go away, and even now I can honestly say, that there's no way I could've lived with 'that feeling' inside me for the rest of my life. If somehow I knew that that was going to be forever, I would've ended it. I was getting involved with girls no good for me and exacerbated my depression, but I just needed to feel something. I went to therapy which was alright, but what got me through in the end was knowing that only time could heal what I was feeling. It was a bit of a process, but eventually made it.
Fast forward to today at age 24, I have a great girlfriend who I'm pretty sure is my future wife, I bought an investment property over in Brisbane, and I have a well-paying job that I enjoy and have near-full autonomy over what I do day to day. Actually, tomorrow I'm getting a student assistant who will be helping me out, and at my age it's pretty unreal that I get to manage someone! Also just in general thinking about my life thus far, the adventures I've gone on and life experiences I've had, at 24 I'm pretty exhausted after all that and I'm ready to settle. God it feels weird to say that. I'm still so young! I'm very lucky to be in the position that I'm in now and I'm milking every second of my youth.
Nowadays, I play league of legends (hardstuck gold), I've just started playing OSRS again, gyming, going out on the town, watching stuff on tv, catching up with friends. Sounds pretty boring and generic hobbies, but I'm genuinely very content with myself and life.
Next blog post I'll probably be married with another couple houses and 10 kids!