Too Old To Be a Gamer, Too Gamer To Quit
Entry posted by rawrgoyle
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Note: This blog was written by a hater.
GAMERS RISE UP
Close to a decade working in esports, tech, and gaming has poisoned my sense of humor. I mean it. I am gamerpilled. I am based and epic. I tips m'fedora to the unsung gentleman gamer upon whom society has thoughtlessly lashed that yoke of wokeism.
If you were to firmly tap my head with a hammer, you could pull my skull apart to find a jumble of Gamers Rise Up / We Live in a Society / Gamer Joker memes.
Not familiar? Scroll for a quick lobotomy <3
Frequent Sal's Realm Discord enjoyers may have seen me post the following clip, which I view to be a hyperconcentrated example of the properties that make these memes so fudgeing funny to me.
It's no question that gamers are treated as second-class citizens in society.
After what some might consider to be a career catering to gamers as my primary customer, I have come to recognize the bitterness I feel towards examples of extreme fandom. Put another way, the older I get, the more I struggle to let people enjoy things.. when "enjoying" things looks more and more like a mental breakdown.
Now that I am over 30, I have come to embrace being a hater. I've seen how the sausage is made. In my younger years, I made the mistake of tying my self-worth to external projects that ran away with gamer backlash. When gamers "take to Twitter" and "make their voice heard" it activates a cold, dead little nugget inside my soul: I am just too old for this shizzle.
In recent years, I have whittled down my gaming habits from that of your typical enlightened PC gamer, to predominantly playing mobile games. I used to have a MEGA SUPER COOL GAMING PC!!!!!! with BIG GRAPHICS!!!!!!! and FOUR MONITORS!!!!!!!!! and (most importantly) GAMER LIGHTS / RGB!!!!!!!!!! The quality of my PC parts, the definition of my monitors, the gamery-ness of my gamer lights was all important to me. It's the same kind of status symbol sporting that comes with being a "car guy" or "sports guy."
Over time, I realized the way I was playing games was not healthy for me. The habits, reactions, and brain .... loop I was in was not who I wanted to be in this life. I made the choice to break down that PC in the last 1-2 years. That was huge for me. I still have the parts but I don't miss the games.
JK, that's a lie. Diablo 4 came out recently. I wish I could play. Boy oh boy did D3 take over my life in the summer of 2012. I sat bare-legged in my empty Chicago apartment, legs sticking to hardwood due to sweat from the blistering heat -- mowing down demons till my eyes burned. I had missed the boat on that 2011 phenomenon Skyrim, and so I was keep to throw myself into a game I knew my friends were playing. D3 was the first "major" game release I could play on Mac with my fellow gamerkin.
So, here in 2023, with the release of D4, I sigh heavily and ask myself... who is this game for? The answer... not me. Not anymore. And that's great news! The game is for the people who are playing it and enjoying it.
My gaming habits have changed, and so have I. I'm no longer a cultured PC gamer. I love to write about mobile games, and I even like to play some of them. In fact, I've started to embrace the "stigma" around mobile games. On stream (twitch.tv/darlene), my usual refrain is that RuneScape is my favorite mobile game. You may be unsurprised to learn that this is an intentionally provocative statement. If you're wondering who on earth that statement could be provocative to, it's aimed at m'fedora wearing giganerds.
Anyways, I would wish all the gamers out there well, but I know they don't want to be well. After all, they want to play video games.
-rawrgoyle
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