I like a girl at school.
Her name is Melinda, actually, thats lie, i am cleverly protecting her name for security reasons.
Anyways Melinda is really awesome. I have a couple class periods with her, and fortunately it seems she knows who i am (which is certainly a step in the right direction).
But the issue is that i don't know if she likes me the way i like her. Its evident that she is:
a) Not repulsed by me -- She starts conversations with me
b) Willing to make a relationship (the issue being, is it one of freindship, or something more?) -- She talked to me even after a few awkward statements on my part.
Now, i'm not going to go into explicit detail of what she looks like, because i think that thats a bit sketchy to do on the internet. But i will say that she is attractive, fairly popular (i don't mean popular with the 'cool' kids, i mean she has a buttload of friends), and could certainly have a multitude of guys that are more physically appealing, or more appealing personality-wise (or both!) than myself. And thats the issue that i can't figure out. Because i get this vibe that she does actually like me, but then i worry that:
a) She's just being friendly and outgoing
b) I'm, and this is simply stating a fact, not up to the caliber of other guys who i believe like her.
Now the standard advice on these boards is, "blah-blah go talk to her, blah-blah nothing will happen if you don't try, at least make an effort." But I simply can't do that, i can't force myself to go up to someone and be like, "Hey, wanna hang out and go see a movie sometime."
Oh well, she's now initiated our 2 real conversations (really 1.5, but i count it as one because she came to me despite a more convenient person to talk to for data in Biology sitting closer by). So i suppose now its my turn to start some stupid superficial conversation.
I really wish it was possible to start off your relationship with someone by saying things that have meaning and feeling, for some reason we're all hard-wired to skirt around the edge of the subject, rarely actually having the courage to say something meaningful.