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Sal's RuneScape Forum

Kittenblob

Retired/Inactive Mod
  • Content Count

    1,841
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5 Relatively Unknown

About Kittenblob

  • Rank
    No day but today

Contact Methods

  • AIM
    Err (>^_^)>
  • MSN
  • Website URL
    http://
  • Yahoo
    I'm a pirate :O:O:O:O (>x.O)>

Profile Information

  • Gender
    Female
  • Location
    :O
  • Interests
    You feel like a candle in a hurricane
    Just like a picture with a broken frame
    Alone and helpless like you’ve lost your fight
    But you’ll be alright, you’ll be alright

    Cause when push comes to shove
    You taste what you’re made of
    You might bend ‘til you break
    Cause it’s all you can take
    On your knees you look up
    Decide you’ve had enough
    You get mad, you get strong
    Wipe your hands, shake it off
    Then you stand, then you stand

    Life’s like a novel with the end ripped out
    The edge of canyon with only one way down
    Take what you’re given before it’s gone
    And start holdin’ on, keep holdin’ on

    Cause when push comes to shove
    You taste what you’re made of
    You might bend ‘til you break
    Cause it’s all you can take
    On your knees you look up
    Decide you’ve had enough
    Then you stand.

    Then you stand.

About My Character

  • RuneScape Name
    Kittenblob
  • RuneScape Status
    Retired
  • RuneScape Version
    RuneScape
  • RuneScape God
    Guthix
  • Favourite Skill
    Cooking
  • Combat Type
    Melee
  • RuneScape Clan
    The fluffy tails xP

Recent Profile Visitors

493 profile views
  1. Kittenblob

    2.10.2015

    Sure, I remember you! Were we in a mafia game together? Thank you (and everyone else) for your kind words :)
  2. Kittenblob

    2.10.2015

    Thank you everyone for your kind words! It makes me happy that so many people have similarly fond memories. Yuan, I am particularly impressed that you're still green! You were a mod back when I was a puny noob. @Dani's derailing: I wouldn't have it any other way. And yes, I think you're right that we all naturally have different priorities at different times in our lives.
  3. Kittenblob

    2.10.2015

    I’m a nostalgic person who rarely knows where to begin. It’s been six years. I’ve tried to lurk here once or twice before. It didn’t last very long. I kept forgetting my passwords, and more importantly, I don’t think I had enough distance to come back until now. In my high school psychology class, we learned that babies have trouble with object permanence—the idea that something exists and will continue to exist even if you can’t see it. If you take a ball out of their field of vision, it’s as if that ball ceased to exist. I struggle with the opposite of that. Even when something is gone, I expect it to be the same no matter how many years have gone by. In my first year of college, my grandparents moved out of their home into an independent living complex. My grandparents had lived decades in this house; it was like a second home to me. I would spend vacations there, helping my grandmother in her garden or riding my bike around the neighborhood church. I practically had the wallpaper memorized. But because I was at college when they left, I didn’t see the boxes or the empty spaces that were left behind in their old house. I never knew who moved in after them. It’s completely irrational, but because of this, part of me still expects to be able to go back. Somehow, I can’t help but think that all I have to do to go back in time is to walk through the front door. Their grandfather clock will be in the foyer on the left, and if I walk through the kitchen and out the door, I’ll be right back in my grandmother’s expansive vegetable garden. Intellectually, I know that the grandfather clock now sits in the middle of their new living room a few hundred miles away, and that my grandmother now tends to a smaller patch in a communal garden. But it feels like it should still all be there. This is also how I feel about Sal’s. I retired from the forum moderator position six years ago. I also stopped frequenting #novus, the old unofficial chatroom. A lot has changed since 2008. Many of my old friends are inactive, having moved on to some other corner of life. But last week, when I logged on for the first time in years, I was hit with that same reverse-object-impermanence. I still tried to find our old IRC haunts, thinking if I could just find the right URL I’d be able to join a chatroom with everyone still frozen in time. I know that Sal’s is less active than it used to be. The vast majority of moderators are retired. It makes my heart ache to read through the “Hilarious IRC Quotes” thread, to see all of the broken imageshack links. Every two pages someone will ask how to join #novus and I desperately wish that coming back was as easy as clicking on http://danirijeka.altervista.org/. With all this talk about the end of an era, I don’t mean to imply that my era was the era. Sal’s was vibrant before and after I was a part of it. I find this is incredibly impressive. Ten years is an eternity in internet time, and the fact that this large part of my childhood is still around today is a testament to the bonds we once forged—and those that others continue to forge as we speak. The people I used to know may have moved on to new lives. I wouldn’t want it any other way. But I’d wager that most of us still have ties to our old ones. In fact, it’s probably false to even draw a distinction between an ‘old’ and a ‘new’ life (though this compartmentalization felt right to me for a long time). Regardless, I will never forget the nights spent in mIRC or the Debate Room or on iSketch. We weathered the (temporary) end of the wilderness, munky’s porn attacks, and Rick Astley. It was one hell of a ride, but mainly because of the company. Things aren’t the same. I’m not the same person I was six years ago, and I wouldn’t want to be. But I still have intensely fond memories of my time here. Sal’s was there for me at a lonely time in my life. Many of my close friends had recently moved away. I was never ostracized, but still felt isolated. It was middle school—do I really need to elaborate more? I was looking for a home, and I found one. I wormed my way in through the debate room and didn’t look back. And I found a lot of great things. I finally found a space where I could debate politics to my heart’s content. I had people to play Pest Control and Castle Wars with, to help me through quests, to teach me how to merchant. #Novus became a big part of my life. It was mostly immature jokes, but real friendships developed. Sal’s, and the people I met there, became a big part of my support system. Of course, it wasn’t a completely hazard-free time. As one of the few active female members of the site, I got sexually harassed a lot. But the community always stood behind me in not tolerating it. As one of the younger members, I worried about being out of place. But my friends treated me no differently, and never expected me to be more mature or older than I was. I especially appreciated the older members of the community. They helped ground me. They were able to articulate things I couldn’t yet. They stood up for me. They gently called me out when I needed it. Even though it was a relatively difficult time in my life, I look upon Sal’s with immense fondness. I made friends. I started becoming more confident in myself. Among my classmates, I was incredibly shy, but this forum gave me a place where I could abandon my shell. People liked me for my ideas, for my conscientiousness, and for my maturity. I sometimes felt radiant, which unfortunately is all too rare among 14 year old girls. By the end of my time at Sal’s, I was a relatively well-known and well-liked moderator. It had been a wonderful, transformative experience. So why did I leave? Here is what I thought it had come down to: I had succeeded. The happiness that Sal’s had allowed me to cultivate didn’t just stay on the forums. I made an entirely new group of real-life friends and slowly had less and less time to spend as a moderator and a participant in #novus. Moreover, many of my friends had retired or were thinking about leaving. So, it was a two-pronged problem: I was growing distant from my community and so were others. When I “retired,” I promised that I wouldn’t drop off the face of the earth. This was a mistake, because that’s essentially what I did. The reason I felt compelled to make a clean break was this: when I love something, I fall hard. I loved this website, and the people I met, and the time we had together. I didn’t trust myself not to come back here and get addicted all over again. That is what I originally wrote. But then, I re-read this letter, and I realized that that paragraph is only one piece of the answer. Equally true is this: I was ashamed. I had internalized a lot of weird and unnecessary stigma about the difference between The Internet and Real Life. I thought Runescape was for nerds and that internet friends weren’t real, or if they are real they were only for people who couldn’t make any friends. When I started making more friends, I thought that maybe this was my one chance to break free from my Shameful Internet Past and be a Normal Human. Here’s something the Kittenblob of six years ago would not have said: all of this is BS. I made friends in real life for the same reasons I made friends here. There was nothing wrong with me. I now use the internet to keep in touch with my high school friends and our interactions are no less valid just because we can’t be in the same room. All of my experiences, whether they were enhanced by the technology of a computer or the technology of a measles vaccine, are part of my life. Sal's was important to me, and I am learning not to minimize it, apologize for it, or compartmentalize. Also, it helps to realize that everyone secretly played Runescape in middle school. Fresh starts come with a price. It was so commonplace at the time, to retire and be less active or even to do what I did and quit cold turkey. Yet now, I can’t help but question it. How could I just leave my friends? How could I just walk away without any back-up plan, any way to reconnect? I think the previous paragraphs have already answered this. At least, they impart on me that I shouldn’t be so hard on myself. Perhaps these questions only make sense in hindsight, now that I am distant enough to compress those years into a rose-tinted blur. The reality was, leaving was probably the healthiest thing I could have done for myself at that moment. But I wish I stayed in touch with the people that mattered. I’m not going to make a list, but if we crossed paths on #novus, got into heated political debates, or were DMs/moderators together, I’d be thrilled to chat with you. Even six years later. You probably meant more to me than you realize. I can’t promise much, but I can promise I’ll try to check back in. I thought that maybe I would end this blog post with something moving, some grand pronouncement about life and how much I’ve learned. But really, what I’ve learned leads me to end with this: If we were once friends, send me a message. I will respond to them once a week. I realize that as someone who’s been gone for six years, you might not be very inclined to take me at my word (although really, my word is all that I have). Here is how I know that I will keep this promise: reading through the archives comforts me, so I have been keeping a tab of the forums open on my computer that I check every few days. I figure it works like this: worst case scenario, I rediscover some old memories. Best case scenario, I reconnect with some old friends. Even if you’ve moved on to bigger and better things, and will never read this letter, it’s ok. It’s enough for me to have written it in the first place. But I had to try. So. Once a week. Really.
  4. Kittenblob

    Eating Meat

    If I post here again, kick me. I need to stay away from this place. But I was browsing and saw this. And I just had to reply. Vegans are whingy try hards It's just a fase kid, you'll be over it soon You need meat to live okay or you will run out of iron and get very sick! whingy? Either you mean "whiny" (in which case I'd tell you that if you stereotype a group of people based on the fact that they're of X belief I hope you don't get far in this world) or you think they can fly. Fase? I assume you mean phase, in which case I'll say this. Four years. This phase is going to last my entire life. And thank you for being condescending. Hopefully that's just a fase. And I'm not dying anytime soon. There are other sources of iron. I think my cheerios have a lot of iron, for some reason. Magic. Wow, the second I lose mod I turn into a total [censored] :)
  5. Kittenblob

    I'm Sorry.

    Thank you so much! :closedeyes:!!!!!!!! :closedeyes: @ everyone else
  6. Kittenblob

    I'm Sorry.

    That wasn't me. I know there's a Kittenblob on ebay but if you look at the dates I'd be like 9 when she joined or whatever
  7. Kittenblob

    I'm Sorry.

    This is a copy of my post in the mod board, slightly edited. Omg leak! So... yeah. My messenger is 600 spaces too full and it'll take me a loooong time to clean it out so post whatever you have here. Or if you don't want to post it here, send me a memo on irc/ask one of my friends to forward the message on.
  8. Kittenblob

    Hats In School

    This debate was probably around awhile ago.. I thought I'd bring it back since it's not too overused. What do you think of wearing hats in school? Is it disrespectful? Is it okay as long as it's not covering your face? Is it your right to wear one? I'll post my opinion later.
  9. Kittenblob

    Parents Accessing Kids Emails...

    I can't believe I'm tempted to one word post in the debate room. But honestly, all I can think of as a response to that statement is "Why? "....
  10. Kittenblob

    Is Bush A Good President

    Even if I'd do a much worse job than bush, that's not the point. The point is that the president is supposed to do a good job. I wouldn't want to be president because I know I'm not qualified. I can't even vote. But people who do want to be president- it's their job and they shouldn't run if they'd be bad at it.
  11. Kittenblob

    Wii Sports

    Oh my cabbage I'm so sorry! I completely forgot about that I think my RSfont stopped working or something. It's all fuzzy now.
  12. Kittenblob

    Close Pl0x?

    Everyone goes through grief differently. Some people try to push it out of their mind and feel like they have to continue on as normal. Some people break down and push everyone else out. Some people become heavily dependent on others. Some people watch old sexist folgers commercials. You just have to get through it whichever way helps. If it's remembering him, not thinking about it, keeping busy, being alone... I doubt there's much I can do.
  13. Kittenblob

    Wii Sports

    Did I ever finish that? XD
  14. Kittenblob

    My Sincerest Apologies

    for Merch
  15. Kittenblob

    I R Hacker?

    wtf ban u hackr
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