Elephant King

I break out of jail, sending out robots that wipe the memories of the police officers, judges, jury members and prisoners who saw me at the jail. I approach Lonely and smooth-talk my way into convincing him to give me the party-hat in exchange for a smoothie.

You are overcome with a disabling illness, and you fall on the ground, writhing in pain. It is then that you realize that you are deathly allergic to knives, and you break out in hives. You die in your hospital bed, having spent all your money to treat your illness in vain. Reading the eulogy at your funeral, I take the phat from your coffin.

Lunging out of the shadows, a mysterious figure sprints up to you and hurls an intricate throwing knife into your skull. As blood seeps onto the floor, you see the Elephant King, holding the party-hat in a clenched fist.

The world pretty much is breathing a gigantic, collective sigh of relief. I want to wish a gigantic thank you to all soldiers and service members involved in this mission and operations around the world. Hasta la victoria, siempre.

Today, April 7th, is my birthday. I would appreciate having the party hat. *Elephant King quickly draws out a combat knife and hurls it at Fang's head. As Fang falls to the ground, I wave my Wand of Truth, turning him into a simple tooth. I take the phat.

Haha, thanks for remembering me! :D Muchas gracias. Happy birthday, everyone else!

Swooping in from the shadows, a dark figure throws an obsidian blade into the eyes, heart and neck of Dimosthimise. As Dimos turns around, all he sees is the figure of the Elephant King, the obsidian and jade armor reflecting in the moon's dim light. I grab the phat and run into the night.

"Guess who." Toonmado looks around, unsure of the dark and grim voice sounding from behind him. Suddenly, a tomahawk is hurled into Toonmado's back, knocking him to the ground. As he turns his head upward, a second tomahawk is hurled into his forehead, killing him instantly. *Elephant King steps over the body, taking the phat. I will never quit this forum... never quit this topic... until I have the phat. *Elephant King draws out an Aztec macuahuitl in one hand, and an M4A1 w/ M203 grenade launcher, EO/Tech holographic sight and AN/PEQ2 laser targeter in the other. Obsidian armor covers the Elephant King from head to toe, with two jade tusks protruding from the helm. Behind a green and black cloak, two dark grey katanas cross, sheathed. Four USP .45 Tactical pistols lie attached to the obsidian leggings, a Shiv and a Viking battle-axe lie sheathed in the belt. Behind me stands a giant behemoth Elephant with obsidian and black steel armor, sharpened tusks gleaming in the night sky. Two spears protrude from the elephant's armor and a Vulcan minigun turret is mounted on his neck. Let's go.

I pop the balloon and you weep pathetically. I take the phat in triumph.

The spell grants him power to destroy you instantly. He does. However, a half ton of C4 blows both of you into oblivion. I take the phat.

Wolf, only pretending to be dead, jumps up and cracks your skull open with a single blow. I however, approach from the shadows and slowly steal the phat, stealthing away.

Successfully countering the robot ninja monkeys with robot pirate zombie ninja monkeys, I retain the phat.

I knee you into a deep pit and in your horror, you drop the phat to hang onto the ledge. Using a jetpack, I dive down into the pit, take the phat and zoom out to safety.

I cast upon thee a cone of coldness. You freeze. I take the phat.

._. W Pie then decides to eat the buffalo wing, therefore rendering himself unarmed. Dimos eats his chicken wing, disarming himself in the process. With a loaded 12 gauge shotgun, I force them into a closet, lock it from the outside (:3) and allow them only to eat socks. I take the phat.