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Sofee

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Everything posted by Sofee

  1. Sofee

    test blod

    testy
  2. Sofee

    Let me post pls

    I have so much content for the blog I'm one of those who can't start new topics/post new entries. Help
  3. Sofee

    "Sal's, Sal's never changes...

    And I was friends with all Benn0, Macki, etc...oh dear. Maybe I just saw the human side in them. Or maybe I wanted to be a cool little rebel kid. Good to see you Micael, old faces are always so nice to see around here.
  4. Sofee

    Heyo

    We're always gonna be young at heart, I swear people never really grow up.
  5. Sofee

    business is booming

    Oh man here we go again
  6. 10/10 I still remember us back in the Salcast days...ahh god
  7. Sofee

    Sal's Shoddy Guestbook

    I think I'm doing this right
  8. Sofee

    This may be the last post I ever make here

    Good luck for the future, old friend! Also happy to see you changed your RS name back, however long ago you did that. I'll be adventuring NZ one day and hopefully you'll be there too!
  9. Sofee

    Canada

    I've been slightly putting off writing this blog entry for some reason, but here it is! Me and my adventures in Canada, so far I'm nearly 4 months in with 2 weeks until the ski season finishes (ie unemployment). If I thought life in Australia was wild, boy was I in for a treat. There's so much that has happened and it would take days to write everything down, so I'll try keep this one somewhat short. I was pretty keen on leaving Australia, not gonna lie. I felt like I didn't have much left back home and wasn't growing as a person, I was too comfortable. My first two nights in Canada got off to a crazy start, meeting some people in my hostel also working for Panorama (the resort) and getting to know them. We went out to the gay part of town and hit up some gay bars, and I ended up babysitting my new friends all the way back to the hostel, trying to stop them from cartwheeling onto the streets at 6am and accepting a suspicious white powdery substance from strangers. They are great people, I hung out with them at Panorama for the first couple weeks, as well as putting myself out there and trying to overcome my fear of talking to strangers. I did surprisingly well and wasn't as awkward as I thought I'd be once I got the ball rolling, and I was pretty pleased with myself. However, once I got to know my new friends a bit better, I knew that they weren't my kind of people. They were loud and rowdy, which I feel uncomfortable participating in. I'm more of a chilled partier. To be honest, I was super strung up and anxious about a lot of different things in the first two weeks at the resort. I kept fudgeing up at my job as a lift attendant, I was shizzle at skiing, I made a few very bad decisions which everyone at work knew about, in all I was earning myself an extremely bad reputation. I felt like I was seen as this incompetent, dumb, awkward girl who didn't bring anything positive to the table. It was really bad. I unloaded onto my flatmate about it, and she said the only things I could do were to try and make up for the things I caused, or wait it out. I did both, and it became a lot better. I went skiing at any opportunity I could to improve, I bribed my workmates with sweets, I put in a lot more effort at work to make management see me in a better light, stopped being so uptight, and in the end it worked. Just as I was feeling better about everything, I met this Swedish guy at a cafe and he also listened to all my woes, and didn't judge at all. It was exactly what I needed, and I knew that he'd be a good friend to have chats with. At the same time I bumped into a girl from NZ that I met previously at a party, we both thought each other were kinda cool and we arranged to go to the next bar event since we didn't have anyone else to go with. Turns out that they are both flatmates at the staff accommodation, and were already friends, which was such a great coincidence. So we all went to the bar event, had a crazy night where I took care of the girl throwing up everywhere, the guy feeding me all his weed and then also joining in with the throwing up, and a mix of other things. Even though it was a trainwreck of a night, it seemed to be a bonding moment, and for the rest of the season it was the three of us causing all kinds of trouble. I had finally found a small group of friends I was comfortable with, was getting good at skiing, was making more friends at work and made up for my mistakes. I was happy. Plot twist! This girl and I hit it off pretty quickly once we really started talking, and there was some obvious chemistry in the air. Problem was, I was absolutely not ready for commitment or relationships, and she was still in love (and talking) with her ex who she left behind in New Zealand. But there was still a special connection between us that we couldn't ignore. So we talked it out and agreed that it was best to just stay friends and not act on anything. However, when we got drunk at events, all self control flew out the window. After more talking and a 2-week bed ban, we agreed to go with the flow and have a fwb sort of deal. It was pretty hard having that arrangement whilst still sleeping with other people at the resort (on my part) since there was still jealousy floating around. Bit of a complicated situation, but communication was good which made it better. As the months went by, it went from screwing around after parties to something much more intimate. It was nice having that feeling back, almost a year after breaking up with my ex. But it also brought back bittersweet memories of how things used to be. At the end of the season, it was basically like a relationship without the lovey dovey stuff. Alas, as with seasonal overseas jobs, they all have to end. Today she left for another job at the Columbia Icefields between Jasper and Banff. It was sad leaving her place for the last time this morning, a place where we'd spent so much time bonding and made so many memories. It was like a mini breakup. I actually also applied for a job at the same place and got it, so that's the current plan. My Swedish friend is also going to the Icefields, so us 3 would be back at it again. The very loose plan is, go to Calgary on the 11th of April, buy a van there, head west and solo roadtrip along the west coast of Canada and the US. Places to tick off the list are Vancouver Island, Oregon, San Fran, hit up all the national parks and look at pretty things until late May, which is when my contract starts. So I probably won't be back in Australia for a while, might as well use this 2-year visa to its fullest. If you have any recommendations on stuff to do on NA's west coast, lay it out for me! That's it for now friends, till next time.
  10. Sofee

    Canada

    Woah that's pretty impressive, must've been fun playing in our heat though. Never done a Nullabor road trip, but it sounds like an experience. Definitely need to explore more of the west coast, upwards is where it's at, Coral Bay, etc. most beautiful fishies and coral reefs you'll see.
  11. Sofee

    Canada

    You stalker! How was your frisbee thing?
  12. Sofee

    Wild child

    So, life has gotten a bit out of hand since the breakup, which was about 6 months ago. I hate that I keep referring to my life as if it revolves around that event but, it'll do. I've been thoroughly enjoying doing whatever I want whenever I want without feeling guilty, probably the best part of the single life. One of these was playing games - she hated me playing games and I often would lie to her and not-so-sneakily do it anyway. So in recent times I've been spending a lot of my free time playing with my friends on LoL and PUBG. After I quit Runescape I vowed to never play a similar PC game again in fear of getting ridiculously addicted and selling my soul to the computer gods. My ex-bf (of 4 years ago) convinced me to try out LoL and my love for gaming was re-ignited. Since then, I've made friends with a lot of his friends through Discord when playing the games, and led me to buying a gaming PC a few months ago, which cost nearly $2k AUD. This made me able to play PUBG which opened up a whole new can of worms with getting to know his friends, and eventually his friends' girlfriends. My social circle exploded and ever since I've been out partying at least once a week. And then a few weeks ago, I ran out of alcohol so I bought a bottle of vodka (700ml) for a party, came back home, and realised there was about 1/3 left in the bottle. I hardly noticed that what was once a lightweight 2-drink girl, had become a 10-drink girl, and my tolerance had gone through the roof. Now, I don't drink aside from social events because I hate the taste of alcohol. I'd much rather drink water than a glass of wine. But this is a little concerning because now I'm worried about my liver and health, what kind of realistic negative consequences could come out from this? I feel like I'm unable to have fun at a night out if I'm not drunk since I'm very introverted. Usually in a group situation I'm very quiet because it's so exhausting trying to participate in group politics. Trying to get a word in, and when you get a word in you're cut off, seeing everyone else trying to get a word in at the same time and 'competing' with each other for dominance. It's too much. But when alcohol is involved, I've been told that I'm the 'life of the party', and all hell breaks loose - the good kind. I wonder if it's a bad thing to have such a heavy reliance on alcohol to feel confident in big social situations. Who am I kidding, of course it is. It's a confidence issue, not a drinking issue. So that's what I'm trying to work on now. Different topic! About 2 months ago I flew to Melbourne for an in-person job interview for my Canada working holiday. When I Uber'ed into the city to my hostel, the streets were alive and there were lines hanging out of pubs. AT 1AM ON A TUESDAY NIGHT. Being a bogan Perth girl, this was shocking. At that time of the night, my city would be completely dead. So this was a very welcome surprise. In preparation for my job interview later that morning, I decided to try out Melbourne's coffee - take note I don't drink coffee. It was smooth, silky, and just the right tinge of bitterness. I was already sold on moving to this city one day. I proceeded to smash my interview, get the job I wanted at the resort I wanted, and walked around the beautiful city. That night, I met up with our very own @O hai im KAMIL at a bar which AGAIN was full on a weekday night. Let me paint the scene. Us two, glugging down jugs of beer and sweet fruity alcohols, reminiscing over the good ol' days of Sals and our lives in general. It's weird trying to pronounce certain Sals usernames or RS words when you've only read them. It was such a cool but strange experience verbally talking about this part of our lives, since only members of the community can -really- understand the impact of it. I've tried talking about it with my IRL friends, but what can you say, "I played this game and joined a forum where I made friends and had lots of fun". They're like, "cool bro", as if it wasn't a monumental part of my life that greatly influenced the way I am. So it was exciting to meet someone who FINALLY understands this little nugget of life tucked away in our childhoods. He spent the tail end of the night trying not to throw up and I spent the morning after wondering if it was worth living to the afternoon, but in all a pretty successful time. We spent the next few days hanging out, with Kamil attempting to showcase his touristing skillz and demonstrate how the tram system works and that I didn't actually have to walk 20 minutes in any given direction. I had a blast, and I'm very thankful for his tourist services. I'd greatly recommend them once he polishes up his directions game and walking endurance :P . Also, the guy lifts big time, so if you twist an ankle, you can bet he'll carry you around like one of those little horses. Back onto the social stuff. With my ex-gf, we were actually hanging out quite a bit a few months after the breakup. Talking to her still felt so natural, so fluid, as if nothing had changed. When things got bad, we'd just run to each other and it would all be ok. We were trying to be friends, tying up loose ends, I was looking after her a bit, in all it was super unhealthy. I found a used condom in a bag on the floor of her house, and it crushed me nearly as hard as her when she found out that I was sleeping with my ex-bf, her arch nemesis. You can't be friends with someone you're still in love with. So, we made the decision to cut contact until I come back from Canada, which would be mid-2018. That day when I left her house for the last time, she kissed me, and we let each other go. I felt overwhelmingly sad, but liberated at the same time. I was free. And now, I can feel myself slowly getting over her. Her memory is slipping away from mine, and I'm conflicted whether to let it slip, or to hang onto it a little longer, to extend the healing period. I miss her, and I'm not over her, and I'm sad, but now's the time to look to the future and move onto bigger and better things. My life now is completely different to what it was 6 months ago. My circle of friends are very...open, you might say. There are pretty much no boundaries. I've become the person who all the girls are like 'ooh, I've always wanted to explore my sexuality, let's take advantage of single Sofee'. Which I'm not-so-secretly happy about (especially my ex-bf's friend's gf, heh). This, in contrast to my conservative group of high school friends, is a welcome change. It's the time of my life where I'll look back and think 'ah, that was wild. To be young again...'. So you bet I'll be taking FULL ADVANTAGE of my situation. As for Canada, things are coming closer and closer to finalising everything! I've booked a one-way ticket on the 27th of November to Vancouver, where I'll make my way by bus to Calgary, then Invermere, then Panorama Mountain Village a few days after that. I'm going to be a ski lift attendant! Staff housing on the mountain is full, so I'm trying to sort out accommodation in Invermere, which is a city about 20 minutes away from Panorama. I've got a decent rental condo locked down close to a gym and the shuttle pickup point, and am currently trying to figure out the roommate situation. I'm super excited for this adventure, away from home for 5 months! I wonder how much more could change. Knowing the ski worker culture, probably not my drinking habits, heh.
  13. Sofee

    Man it's been a while

    Zomg it's Ent! Nice 8,888 posts. Keep it that way and you'll be forever lucky.
  14. Sofee

    Wild child

    I thought you were an Ameridog D: It is very weird, I remember you posting videos of your guitar playing skillz and your multiple girlfriends and that highschool emo phase. Many thanks!
  15. AH it's been too long since I've written one of these. For those not acquainted with my 2000-word rambly rants over pubescent highschool drama, I direct you to just about any 2012 entry in this blog. There is some absolute GOLD if you can drag your dicks through the very jagged, painful glass that is 15-year old me. If you don't feel like educating yourselves on the inner thoughts and passive-aggressive fights of me, some extra-juicy ones are here and here. By the way, I had the BIGGEST straight girl crush on 'M' in the first link. The more you know. I am so thankful that I documented every facet of my high school life so I can look back and think "ha, thank god that's in the pas-waitnothinghaschanged". For those who saw the title and furiously rolled their eyes whilst excitedly clicking the link to my blog because they've been deprived of dramatic me for too long, YOU'RE IN LUCK. Except, this isn't dramatic on the same level as my high school drama. It's a bit more grown-up, a bit less out-there. It's a bit too real, and a bit (a lot) sad. And I'm coming to you guys because you always give it to me straight, no fiddlesticks or sugarcoating, and I really need an unbiased outsiders perspective on the matter. This is gonna be a long one, so I'm gonna wrap the body in spoiler tags. The TL;DR is at the bottom. I even made some pretty dot points not only to make it clear for you guys, but also to lay it all out for me. It's about my long-term girlfriend. And I'm torn between leaving her, or staying together. TL;DR - Having a lot of doubts about my relationship, which over time has been overcome with incompatibilities. We both are still young and immature, which leads to some glaring issues. However, we are still in love, and have many more good times than bad. Reasons to break up: For I want to date around and explore I can do anything without inhibitions (friends, activities) I want to be single when I go to Canada VERY uneven sex drives Improve myself to be someone who can be attentive, supportive and sensitive Find someone else with the same passions as me (gaming, TV series, media) who I *might* end up happier with Against I love her, she’s so kind, caring and loving, and makes me happy. She means a lot to me. We have many of the same ‘end goals’ Won’t have anyone to talk to every day, life will be much more boring She’s in a really bad spot right now and needs my support Breaking off a relationship that is much more good than bad (about 80% good, 20% bad) seems pointless and unnecessary. What would that achieve? ----------- Oh yeah, it looks like I'm going to Canada to work a season at a ski resort in the winter of 2017/2018 when I finish my degree! It's definitely not finalised yet - I haven't been offered a job or bought my plane tickets, but I have started the process of it, and it's looking really good. After the season ends, I plan to go around the country, couch surf a bit, and explore. Any Canadian slammers here who wouldn't mind saying hi to a poor Aussie girl and isn't scared off by my description of me above? :P Also, sorry about the wall of text again. Big decisions equal big word count in my world!
  16. At last, the day came! But..well..this isn't a really good Birthday. I was late for piano, and the teacher said I was 10 minutes late and couldn't do 20 minutes. So, we left. My mum was in a real bad mood, she hit the wall of the garage, and gave me a few shoutings. It was something like, 'I don't care if it's your birthday or not! It's just a day that you were born, and having a cake. JUST LIKE THAT! NOTHING SPECIAL!'. It was real mean. I hid myself in my room for a couple of minutes. Well, she got into a better mood, and gave me 3 hours of RS (my birthday present). I also got a PSP for my Birthday. I love it :D . School today was fine. Josie was still trying to get near to the other girls, but not that much. She mostly stayed close to me, today. Anyway, my whole family (me, dad and mum) are going to the beach! The waves look pretty good (err, the wind, actually)! I can't really surf, just bodyboard. It's real fun! I go to the beach about once every two days, since it's scorching hot ( 35+ D'grees Celcius ). I think my B'day will go fine today! Ooh, there's the bell for my father coming back! HE'S BACK!! THE BEACH!! YESSS!! He's looking at my B'day ice cream now...uh oh! :) Okay, I just came back from the beach, looking like a complete failure. It's like this.. Once upon a time, this girl wanted to catch this tsunami-looking wave. Unfortunately, the wave broke right ontop of her, she crashed down to the sand, bumped her head on the board, banged her nose on the sandy floor, and her goggles filled with salt water. She came up from the water, with a nearly broken nose, and blood all over her hand. She gasped and covered her nose, and called her dad to help her. It was a blood nose. In both nostrils. It was about a 10 minute wait, and she went home, dabbing her nose with the towel. The End! Cool story, eh? Yeah. That's exactly what happened to me. Not very nice on my Birthday >.< . Anyway, I'm starving, and Mum is cooking me porridge (with egg and tuna). On Runescape..Well, I was gonna get 52 attack today. After a while, I said to myself, 'I should have gotten the level by now!' And well, I got the level without noticing o_O . How strange is that? I better take care of my nose. See ya tomorrow! -Sofee
  17. Sofee

    Wild child

    I am also still a 12yo girl in my mind, what has my life come to
  18. Sofee

    Wild child

    Just one rough night, oh god I'm not sure if I should ask. Sounds like an interesting transition, I'll try to keep the bottle away until Canada, because it'll probably get even worse over there. Good advice. Yeah I'll get over her, only a matter of time. Ew I can imagine :/
  19. Sofee

    Wild child

    In the span of 3 years we've already changed drastically, well given it was ages 17-20 even more so. I dunno if we can even be friends in the future, we'll probably have grown apart even more by then. Sorry to hear about your relationship woes, you can borrow my heart, it's got some scrapes and nicks but it'll do :P
  20. Sofee

    Wild child

    That wince at the end hahaha. I'll also recommend your touristing business once your camerawork gets better :/ Thanks I will do! I've played Witcher 3 on the PS4, whew it's quite the game. Got a bit repetitive towards the end though. Bloody baron quest was the best.
  21. Sofee

    Wild child

    Shh I'm trying to be modest here ;P . I thought I was getting too old for codenames but I might whip them out again! And OH GOD (do it)
  22. Sofee

    The break up

    Welp, I did it, about 3 months ago. It was heartbreaking. We were both still in love. But, after we patched things up at the beginning of this year (see last entry), uni started up again, and we fell back into the same limbo. It was the classic case of not prioritising each other, and getting complacent. I couldn't bear with the guilt over my obsessive thoughts of 'should-I-should-I-not', so I did. It was unexpected, especially for her. I'd been with this girl for 3 years, and it was all over with a 1-second answer. "Are you really breaking up with me?" "I think so." I couldn't even say yes, how pathetic. I didn't want to believe it was real. I still don't. With this being my first 'real' breakup, I didn't know what to expect - how I was supposed to feel, what I should've done. The first week was the worst. Every time I wasn't out in public, I was crying. I wish I was exaggerating. I had to stow away all the things that reminded me of her in a shoebox. I had to take down the origami hearts she made that looked so beautiful inside my wardrobe. I had to throw away the toothbrush she used when she slept over. There was a lot of googling 'how to get over a breakup'. Then, for about a month after that, I didn't cry once. I felt at peace with myself, and the immense relief that I'd made that decision. I drowned myself in uni work, often staying till midnight for most days of the week. After that phase ended, the rivers started flowing again, and I missed her. It was like going through drug withdrawal - only that it kicked in after 1 month. How do you replace that unique happiness you get only from being with someone you love? That's kind of where I'm at right now, but a bit better. Friends help a lot - I never realised how much they cared for me, and the support is overwhelming. Which made me feel even more guilty. I hated myself for doing this to her, especially at a time in her life where she needed me the most. She truly believed that we would work through our problems and we'd be forever. I had to live with this decision, not knowing if it would be the biggest mistake of my life. I have a long way to go for forgiving myself. Nevertheless, I do think that this would've happened sooner or later. I don't think we can fit into each others' lives as we once had and feel fulfilled. But, we still want to be friends in the future. In high school, we were best friends with no romantic feelings attached, so we might be able to do it again. We agreed to initially go no-contact for 2 months, and check-in every few months to see what's up. As long as we still have a strong desire to see each other and be friends, we won't be ready. This is gonna take a longggggggggg time to get over her. Since the breakup, things have gotten a little wild. I've hooked up with most people she was jealous of when we were together, including my ex (bf) before her. Oh yeah, and when her and I had our first meetup since the break, we somehow found ourselves in her bed. Oops. I've also bought my first -stick-, which was quite the experience. I feel like I'm still coming down from it, from 2 days ago. Thanks to the excessive distract-me-from-breakup-feels-study, I've gotten killer grades - probably my best semester yet. Now that I think about it, my life is exactly where I want it to be, because of the choices I've made and how lucky I've gotten along the way. I'm on track to doing a 5-month working holiday at a Canadian ski resort when I finish my degree at the end of this year. I'm probably going to travel around Canada after the 5-month stint has ended, so if any Canadian slammers wanna take me to a hockey game or ride moose, hit me up. I've kinda sorted out my ADD and am on the right meds for it (Ritalin). I'm trying to make a comeback from my post-breakup weight loss to eat more and get back on track at the gym. I don't know how I got so lucky. I'm not going to be in a relationship for a while. A lot of the problems were caused by me, and I need to grow by myself to become the person that I'd want to date. I mean, I'm only 20, so this is pretty much the time in someone's life where that happens. For now, I'm gonna keep trying to make decisions that will improve myself as a person, and have some fun along the way too.
  23. Sofee

    The break up

    Cheers, if I happen by Toronto I'll be sure to hit you up ^_^
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