"He tells you that he might have an idea how to melt the ice around the armor."
Should be 'armour' (This may just be the way non-Americans say it, I'm not sure)
"Speak to Erjolf after removing all of the ice and he discovers that it is in fact a frozen monster, not a piece of armor"
"a statue was found in the Kharidian Desert which had a remarkable"
"It has spikes which run down its spine"
"that the creature is a Muspah which is a fearsome predator"
In all instances there should be a comma before 'which'
"similarity to the creature which you described to him"
change 'which' to 'that'
Also, in all instances in which you use compass bearings, the direction should be capitalised e.g. "Northeast" "West stream" etc.
Apart from those minor, nitpicky corrections, your guide is very good!
EDIT: Here are those transperancies