Dad 24 Posted August 31, 2008 Can you explain the significance of the final sentence in your story? I wrote most of the story in about 45 minutes to prove a point to Evin. But to polish the story to a fine finish, I did a Google search for "Arabic sayings" - I know, I should have used Afghan ones; or better yet, Koranic verses. Several are scattered through the text, but I felt that "The dogs may bark, but the caravan moves on" aptly summed up the effectiveness of suicide bombers. The meaning I intended was: Although some people try to turn the tide of society and world development, they may make an annoying impact for a short while, but they aren't effective. Suicide bombers are just like dogs barking while the world moves on. The idea is not to belittle either the act of the bombing or the devastation it wreaks on the individuals injured, killed or otherwise affected. Rather it is an attempt to say that there are more effective ways of making a difference in the world. I don't think suicide bombers (from Kamikazes on) have ever changed the direction of world events. Hope that helps clarify . Ah, I thought it meant something like that. :)Thanks for clarifying with the "God" thing anyway. Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Evor 0 Posted September 1, 2008 I wrote most of the story in about 45 minutes to prove a point to Evin. But to polish the story to a fine finish, I did a Google search for "Arabic sayings" - I know, I should have used Afghan ones; or better yet, Koranic verses. Several are scattered through the text, but I felt that "The dogs may bark, but the caravan moves on" aptly summed up the effectiveness of suicide bombers. The meaning I intended was: Although some people try to turn the tide of society and world development, they may make an annoying impact for a short while, but they aren't effective. Suicide bombers are just like dogs barking while the world moves on. The idea is not to belittle either the act of the bombing or the devastation it wreaks on the individuals injured, killed or otherwise affected. Rather it is an attempt to say that there are more effective ways of making a difference in the world. I don't think suicide bombers (from Kamikazes on) have ever changed the direction of world events. Hope that helps clarify :). What a clever connection between quote and the storyline - your stance on the issue is well portrayed too. I didn't get any sense of belittlement when I read and in my personal opinion, I happen to agree with the underlying message. Thanks for the clarification! Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
GOTOHELLSALS 0 Posted September 14, 2008 i am in tears... beautiful Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
SlashingUK 0 Posted September 15, 2008 i am in tears...beautiful Sorry - I didn't mean to make anyone cry. But, thanks for the compliment nonetheless. Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Pixel Bunnie 3 Posted September 17, 2008 This was an excellent piece. I especially liked the technique and your use of juxtaposition. However, if this was my piece, I would have had varying styles in writing. For example the events that were actually happening were written is haste, with short sentences which added to the feeling of chaos and turmoil. However, keeping in mind, this is a man that is facing his death, therefore, the thoughts that are going through his head, I would have contrasted with serenity and that of acceptance. Furthermore, there was a good usage of metaphors and the final line is what sold this short story in my opinion. Good job. Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
SlashingUK 0 Posted September 18, 2008 This was an excellent piece. I especially liked the technique and your use of juxtaposition. However, if this was my piece, I would have had varying styles in writing. For example the events that were actually happening were written is haste, with short sentences which added to the feeling of chaos and turmoil. However, keeping in mind, this is a man that is facing his death, therefore, the thoughts that are going through his head, I would have contrasted with serenity and that of acceptance.Great comments and useful insights. Thanks Bunnie. I learn a lot more from those who would have me change this than from those who want to keep it as it stands, even if I choose not to take up the suggestions on this occasion. Funnily enough, I made very similar observations on Heb0's latest untitled offering. Furthermore, there was a good usage of metaphors and the final line is what sold this short story in my opinion. Good job. At last, someone who appreciates that line. Thank you, thank you. Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Jellijelli 0 Posted September 8, 2014 (edited) Bumping this. I signed up here seven years ago, went inactive after a year or two, and I still remember this short story. Edit: It also seems that this story has been published. SlashingUK, if you ever happen to read this, congratulations. Hope you are doing well. Edited September 8, 2014 by Jellijelli Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Fake 113 Posted September 11, 2014 Wow, I remember reading this years ago. Many, many congratulations on getting published SlashingUK. ... Much nostalgia. Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Master Neverdead 8 Posted December 21, 2014 Yes, congratulations are definitely in order. This was and still is a fine piece. Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Angel Hayley 81 Posted December 31, 2014 Bumping this. I signed up here seven years ago, went inactive after a year or two, and I still remember this short story. Edit: It also seems that this story has been published. SlashingUK, if you ever happen to read this, congratulations. Hope you are doing well. Where? :o Did I miss something Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
O hai im KAMIL 539 Posted October 8, 2015 Dunno how I stumbled across this but holy hell what an excellent read. I hope you're doing well wherever you are, Slashing. Share this post Link to post Share on other sites