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The Rise Of Darkness

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First page of new chapter completed >.>.

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Chapter 39: All Hope is Lost

“Damn it, this isn’t good,” Harry whispered to Warlic. He wanted to reply with a sarcastic comment but he knew it wasn’t the time. Vlad laughed as his wounds began to slowly disappear and his appearance seemed to slightly bulk up. He cracked his neck and jumped around, like a boxer would before a match.

 

“Well, this has been fun,” Vlad, triumphantly, spoke. “But all good things must come to an end.” He took off the knot that held his ponytail together and his hair flowed down, past his shoulders.

 

“Warlic, what do we do?” Harry, apprehensively, asked Warlic.

 

“Yes, what do we do?” Vlad, mockingly, whispered to Harry, who hadn’t noticed when Vlad had managed to sneak up behind him. Before Warlic or Harry had a chance to react Vlad grabbed Harry by the back of the neck and lifted him up. He jumped up, while still holding Harry, and kneed him in the back. Harry welped in pain, like a whipped dog, and Vlad let go of him to parry Warlic’s attack. He dodged Warlic’s first claw as easily as he dodged the second.

 

“Damn, he’s good,” Harry mumbled, while trying to get back to his feet. Warlic slashed downwards toward Resta and a blast of ice cold water burst out of the claws. Vlad’s eyes widened and he crossed his arms to block most of the damage of the blow. When he opened his eyes Warlic was gone and he felt a sharp pain at the back of his shoulder. He immediately lowered his center of gravity and sent Warlic flying but the latter managed to land on his feet. All three men were fighting at the same elevation, which was about thirty feet from the ground.

 

Vlad looked at his shoulder and noticed it’d been slightly pierced by one of Warlic’s claws. Warlic smirked and asked, “Not as invincible as you thought?”

 

Harry laughed and added, “You’re pretty good but you can’t take down both of us.” For the first time since the battle started Harry actually felt like they had the upper hand.

 

“Hardly so,” Vlad softly spoke. “Look at my wound, see the damage that your friend Warlic has done.” His voice seemed to be getting louder and louder every time he spoke a word. “If Warlic had stabbed you,” he pointed at Harry, “It would’ve pierced through your shoulder. That was his attack at max strength.” Warlic grunted and you could notice the tension rising on his face as a small bead of sweat dripped off his chin.

 

Harry slowly turned to Warlic, “Is—Is that true?” Harry asked?

 

“Don’t worry,” Warlic replied, with a charismatic smile, “I’ve got a few tricks up my sleeves.”

 

“He’s not giving a direct answer,” Harry thought to himself, “This is worse than I thought…”

 

“I’m tired of talking,” Vlad yelled and he instantly vanished.

 

“Watch out…” Warlic, tensely, whispered to Harry. Harry gulped as both of them scanned the room looking for him but none of them could find him.

 

“Either his Aura Mode makes him invisible or he’s moving too fast for us to see,” Harry told nobody in particular as Warlic was not paying attention.

 

Warlic scanned the room and there was no sight of Vlad, “He may be invisible but his body still has mass.” Warlic told Harry and pointed his claws toward the ceiling. Harry felt a raindrop hit his forehead and it started to downpour.

 

“I get it, Warlic,” Harry said, “Look for the discrepancy in the rain to see where Vlad is.”

 

“Yeah but it’s not as easy as you make it sound,” Warlic replied as even with the rain they couldn’t tell where Vlad was but suddenly they saw the rain hit something a food away from Harry. Immediately Harry swung his blade forward and a small amount of blood appeared out of nowhere.

 

Vlad reappeared and the wound showed to be nothing more than a small cut. “It’s like you gave me a shaving nick.”

 

“You can’t use your invisibility to beat us, we’ve figured out how to get past it,” Harry, aggressively, told Vlad.

 

“We’ll see about that,” Vlad said and disappeared again.

 

“Brace up, Harry,” Warlic spoke as the two men went back to back to try to stop any sneak attack.

 

“Damn Warlic,” Harry said, “You’re freezing me. No need to give me the cold shoulder,” Harry joked, trying to lighten the mood.

 

“If you’re going to make a joke,” Warlic laughed, “At least try to make it a good one.” The very brief moment of light heartedness ended and the two became serious again. They saw no movement in the rain and everything was silent for a minute, like at a funeral when people are mourning.

 

Warlic saw it, a movement in the rain but not coming from any direction. Vlad came from underneath them and reappeared to land a strong uppercut on Harry. Blood spouted out and he tried to kick Harry but a shield of ice protected Harry from any more damage. Vlad jumped back as Harry tried to regain his footing. He went to attack again but Warlic jumped in front of Harry and parried his attack with his claws. Warlic swung down at Vlad and the latter flipped backwards to dodge the blow and side stepped to escape the barrage coming at him.

 

“I have to give you credit Warlic, I didn’t expect you to be so fast,” Vlad spoke.

 

“Are you okay, Harry?” Warlic asked his friend but he didn’t turn his head to make sure he didn’t lose sight of Vlad.

 

“Yeah, I’m fine,” Harry yelled back before submerging into his mind. “Damn it,” Harry thought, “I’ve come all this way and still need to be protected by him. Damn it, Damn it, Damn it.” Harry could feel himself getting angry and realized he was getting angrier than he should’ve been. “Why?” Harry asked himself, “What is this feeling?”

 

“Vlad,” Warlic sternly spoke, “You’re stalling.”

 

Vlad’s eyes slightly widened and asked, “Whatever do you mean?”

 

“Your invisibility technique. It’s not an offensive based attack. It’s meant for camouflage and for the defensive,” Warlic replied. “Whenever you are about to make contact with us you have to reappear which means you can’t make touch us while invisible. You’re trying to delay this fight for something. I want you to tell me what.”

 

Harry, dumbfounded, looked at Warlic, “Is he right?” He asked himself. “Why wasn’t I able to see this?”

 

“Wow,” Vlad said, clapping slowly. “You’re a lot smarter than you let on. Very well, it’s too late to stop me now so I might as well tell you,” he paused and said, “actually, I’d rather show you.” Through one of the tunnels a woman came out with a tattoo of some sort of symbols and ancient writing. “Welcome, my love.”

 

“What, what’s going on here?” Harry asked as he gripped his sword even tighter. He wanted to attack but couldn’t seem to muster up the strength to lunge. He didn’t know if it was out of fear or curiosity.

 

“You’ve been through many battles. Whether or not you defeat me you’d be foolish to think that this’ll be your lost,” Vlad said as his voice seemed to echo through the halls. “Whether or not you defeat me…” He paused. “I guarantee you’ll never leave this place alive.”

 

“How so,” Warlic asked, completely forgetting that the woman was here, “We’ve had you matched this whole time.”

 

“There’s one simple thing you’re forgetting wizard,” Vlad rebutted, “Simply said, I’m better than you.”

 

Warlic angrily grunted and slashed his claws in the air, launched a barrage of ice shards against Vlad who simple stood there. Blood, blood everywhere but the blood was not Vlad’s. The woman took the hit and hundreds of shards pierced through her body as blood fell down, creating a puddle underneath her. Warlic’s eyes expanded and a shocked expression painted itself along his face.

 

She turned around, to the still smiling Vlad, and whispered, “My love.”

 

“You’ve done your duty,” he softly spoke, “Now rest.” After looking at her for a brief moment his hand pierced through her stomach as she grunted. He pulled his fist out and with a thud her body slammed against the ground.

 

“Why?” Harry yelled at him, “Why would you do that to her?” He said as fury built itself in his head and the flames surrounding his sword seemed to tense up.

 

“Shut up and watch,” Vlad said. He grunted and his hair started to raise.

 

“Damn it, Harry, I don’t like the sound of this,” his friend spoke.

 

“Now watch fools, and see true despair!” Vlad yelled and screamed, “Aura Spark!”

 

Warlic and Harry backed off, half expecting an explosion or something of the sort but nothing seemed to happen.

 

“What’s, what’s going on?” Warlic yelled at Vlad.

 

“You see my Aura Spark isn’t what you would call normal. It doesn’t give me an immense boost of power or insane speeds or something else you’d expect. As a matter of fact, it doesn’t increase my strength at all from my Aura Mode.” Vlad gently touched the ground and stood next to the head of the slain woman. He pressed his palm against the chest of the woman and her tattoo’s started to glow. “This power is far greater than any of those things.” Her body started to evaporate and both Warlic and Harry looked dumbfounded at these turn of events. “This power allows me to bring back the dead!” He yelled and started laughing maniacally.

 

“What? Impossible!” Harry screamed as Warlic started running.

 

“Stop him!” Warlic yelled at Harry followed in pursuit. Warlic slashed his claws down and sent a barrage of ice towards Vlad but suddenly an explosion happened and dust filled the room.

 

“It’s too late,” Vlad yelled.

 

“Damn it, Harry. This isn’t good,” Warlic whispered, “Vlad was hard enough. Now we have to fight another person.” The smoke started to clear and a silhouette could be seen standing and gripping a broadsword.

As the smoke started to clear parts of the figure’s body’s started to be visible.

 

“No, it can’t be.” Warlic whispered in disbelief.

 

Harry lost his grip on his sword and he fell on his knees. The smoke finally cleared and the person was clearly visible. “Resta”.

 


 

Lol wonder if anyone will read.

Edited by Lifted

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Did read, should've PM'd me the day this was out :P

 

Vlad fight was great - would've preferred some description on the woman, though, also wondering where the women are currently :P

 

At the end of the chapter, "Resta"., should be "Resta." ;)

 

Great chapter, glad to see you updating!

 

 

10/10

 

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I swear I'll read this when I have time -.-.

 

You know you could read chapter 1 and comment on how filth it is. Then work your way down and keep commenting. <3 Activity helps. :)

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Yeah, I actually did only read 1

 

It... could use some fixing up. :aware:

 

Anyway, I'll probably have a lot more time than I do now after like a week forward, so you can expect some activity at that point.

Edited by Guitarguy

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Yeah the first few chapters aren't very well written. I should touch them up. :P

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Man, I remember the days when Jenny and this other girl were fighting over Warlic. I think that was Chapter Three or something.

 

Will read, once I manage to get my school life under control.

Edited by Luna

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Writing new chapter. :)

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wow didnt know you write stories fake!!!!

I started off originally only posting in the story mat. Really only the RuneScape Stories Section.

 

I should rewrite the beginnings for the first few chapters. I like to think I've gotten much better since then. :D

Edited by Lifted

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OMG dude this series is SO damn addictive! I just started reading it today and i'm already finished! Gahh I can't wait till the next chapter. Please release it soon and when I mean soon, I mean NOW!!! Haha. But in all honesty this is a really good series. I can see it having a great potential to be turned into a novel with a more descriptive backstory on each character.

 

By the way, do you read manga by any chance? Throughout the series I got subtle under tones of Bleach and I can relate Harry to Ichigo.

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I use to be obsessed with Bleach and yeah I guess I put some elements of it in there. I'm still trying to piece together a good ending for the book so yeah. :P

 

Also noticed that chapter 30 was written almost four years ago >.<.

Edited by Lifted

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Although this is pretty late, here’s my review. :D

 

This chapter seemed repetitive when put up against the last installment. The dialogue changes, but it’s basically Vlad upping his game step-by-step while Warlic and Harry attempt to keep up (with varying degrees of success). I thought after last chapter’s ending, something drastic would happen as Vlad activated aura mode, but it still seemed like the same thing as before: Warlic and Harry use their wits (mostly Warlic’s) and power to keep up in the fight.

 

The dramatic ending was a lot like Chapter Thirty Eight’s cliff hanger, only greatly amplified: resurrecting the dead seems like a much bigger power booster, for lack of a better term. Even so, it just seems like the suspense at the end was presented in a manner too similar to before. If anything, though, I would suggest editing the chapter before it to make it flow better without the cliff hanger. This latest one is more dramatic, so I’d recommend preserving it that way. :P

 

On that note, I didn’t fully understand the purpose of the tattooed girl Vlad brings out. She seemingly just walks into the picture as the fighting goes on stand-by. When the ice barrage, launched by Warlic, strikes the woman, I’m confused as to how that happened since he was aiming for Vlad. Did he (Vlad) change the direction of the attack in order to kill her? I think some clarification is needed there.

 

As for the resurrection itself, I take it that death is needed to provide life. I’m guessing the woman’s death was the price for Resta’s life? That, as well as her continual reference to Vlad as “my love,” threw me off. I would suggest adding some more to this interaction to flesh it out so the reader gets a better grasp of Vlad’s true capabilities.

 

He cracked his neck and jumped around, like a boxer would before a match.

Boxing sounds like an odd comparison, given the universe we’re in. Fighter before a duel, perhaps?

 

“Well, this has been fun,” Vlad, triumphantly, spoke. “But all good things must come to an end.” He took off the knot that held his ponytail together and his hair flowed down, past his shoulders.

I don’t believe that last comma isn’t necessary. It just seems like awkward placing.

 

“Warlic, what do we do?” Harry, apprehensively, asked Warlic.

 

Before Warlic or Harry had a chance to react Vlad grabbed Harry by the back of the neck and lifted him up. He jumped up, while still holding Harry, and kneed him in the back. Harry welped in pain, like a whipped dog, and Vlad let go of him to parry Warlic’s attack. He dodged Warlic’s first claw as easily as he dodged the second.

I liked the The Dark Knight Rises parallel here, I’m not sure when Vlad got close enough to grab Harry’s neck. Seems like he’d have to be very close for that to happen.

 

“Hardly so,” Vlad softly spoke. “Look at my wound, see the damage that your friend Warlic has done.” His voice seemed to be getting louder and louder every time he spoke a word. “If Warlic had stabbed you,” he pointed at Harry, “It would’ve pierced through your shoulder. That was his attack at max strength.” Warlic grunted and you could notice the tension rising on his face as a small bead of sweat dripped off his chin.

I got a feeling of MSLAG here – max strength? That sounds like a very game-ish, or at least modern, term. Even “full strength” word be better, seeing how “max” is typically short for “maximum,” which usually implies a quantity or degree that can be measured. Additionally, how can Vlad be so sure that Warlic’s strike was the peak of his capabilities?

 

“If you’re going to make a joke,” Warlic laughed, “At least try to make it a good one.” The very brief moment of light heartedness ended and the two became serious again. They saw no movement in the rain and everything was silent for a minute, like at a funeral when people are mourning.

That last phrase, “like at a funeral when people are mourning” just seemed to darn basic. It could use some adjectives and description to help really get the feel for the silence. I mean, Harry or Warlic could (hypothetically) drop dead at any minute, meaning that quiet moment would be pretty dang unnerving.

 

“I have to give you credit Warlic, I didn’t expect you to be so fast,” Vlad spoke.

Comma after “credit” and before “Warlic”.

 

“Are you okay, Harry?” Warlic asked his friend but he didn’t turn his head to make sure he didn’t lose sight of Vlad.

The phrasing seems awkward here again. I would suggest something like “…asked his friend without turning his head, ensuring he didn’t lose sight…”

 

“Yeah, I’m fine,” Harry yelled back before submerging into his mind. “Damn it,” Harry thought, “I’ve come all this way and still need to be protected by him. Damn it, Damn it, Damn it.” Harry could feel himself getting angry and realized he was getting angrier than he should’ve been. “Why?” Harry asked himself, “What is this feeling?”

When Harry is thinking “Damn it” repeatedly, “Damn” only needs to be capitalized the first time. Also, he “could feel himself getting angry and realized” doesn’t seem to make sense. Replacing “and” should do there. Also, “angry” and “angrier” probably should not be used in the same sentence. That being said, I really do love that inner anger that Harry is feeling. More on that below, though.

 

“Vlad,” Warlic sternly spoke, “You’re stalling.”

The “you’re” doesn’t need capitalization, as it’s a continuation of the same dialogue as before.

 

Vlad’s eyes slightly widened and asked, “Whatever do you mean?”

This sounds like his eyes (noun) asked (verb). Make sure you have the right subject for your verb. :D

 

“You’ve been through many battles. Whether or not you defeat me you’d be foolish to think that this’ll be your lost,” Vlad said as his voice seemed to echo through the halls. “Whether or not you defeat me…” He paused. “I guarantee you’ll never leave this place alive.”

Add a comma after the phrase, “whether or not you defeat me”.

 

“There’s one simple thing you’re forgetting wizard,” Vlad rebutted, “Simply said, I’m better than you.”

That seemed too simple. I’d like Vlad to say something else other than “I’m better than you”. Granted, he explains himself in a few moments, it just doesn’t seem very fitting.

 

Warlic angrily grunted and slashed his claws in the air, launched a barrage of ice shards against Vlad who simple stood there. Blood, blood everywhere but the blood was not Vlad’s. The woman took the hit and hundreds of shards pierced through her body as blood fell down, creating a puddle underneath her. Warlic’s eyes expanded and a shocked expression painted itself along his face.

“launched a barrage” should be “launching a barrage”.

 

“Stop him!” Warlic yelled at Harry followed in pursuit. Warlic slashed his claws down and sent a barrage of ice towards Vlad but suddenly an explosion happened and dust filled the room.

“Suddenly an explosion happened” could be replaced with a more descriptive or commentative (is that a word?) line. It seems too basic as it currently is.

 

I know that there are probably some small errors that I missed, but those won’t kill anyone. :P One overall recommendation I’d suggest is replacing the names with pronouns and other descriptive adjectives. It can be very repetitive to say “Vlad cut/cleaved/burned Warlic…Harry parried/dodged/blocked Vlad…etc.” I’d use more vocabulary to liven it up.

 

Your story overall has some great continuity. The inner clash between good and evil within Harry makes for a great set up for a main character, and I’m glad you keep bringing this out. In this latest chapter, his self-rebuttal regarding how Warlic always has to stick out for him is reminiscent of how his earlier transitions to aura mode were marked by hatred and a desire to cause pain. Vlad’s offer to Harry in the previous chapter really brought this out as well. The fact that Harry didn’t immediately shoot down a chance to work alongside Vlad shows how he still is conflicted in his mind.

 

This brings me to the characters, another area in which your story is increasingly well fleshed out. I’m glad to see Warlic is still the more powerful of the two, a characteristic which has been carried through for the entirety of the story. This fact, along with Harry’s reaction whenever it comes up, is really unique: oftentimes, the main character in a story is the dominant one in the group.

 

Overall, it was a very good chapter. If you make the changes to this one, as well as changing up the ending to the last one, this two-but-soon-to-be-three chapter sequence makes for an epic exchange of events. Great work. :ice:

Edited by Finway

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The Rise of Darkness is pure nostalgia. I'm gonna' read through this whole story all over again. :D Is this still being updated, even after all this time?

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I write a chapter once every couple months lol. Its actually very close to ending

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Well, get this thing over with and give us a sequel. :P Your promptness might encourage me to start writing again for teh lulz.

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